The quest for consensus continues! I do not want to Be-Little Bingo’s marvellous achievement with songs but now I think it is time that we turned our attention to the cinematic arts. Can we find any movies that noone dislikes?
This is a bit more difficult than doing songs which one can post and everyone can hear at once. Slightly trickier watching the whole of Battleship Potemkin before deciding it’s not for you.
But do feel free to post any movie you love. No disqualifications for it being something that very few have seen.
Rules
If you are going to veto you ought really to have at least seen a part of the movie before walking out or turning off in boredom or disgust. But I will be fairly easy going on approving vetos. Personally I would veto Hostel without watching a minute of it. I can understand there are movies where, for completely different, perfectly valid reasons, you will want to do likewise.
I will not accept a veto that is based on a blanket dislike of a certain genre: I don’t like animated films/westerns/ Bulgarian musicals/ horror movies/romcoms etc
If you veto you must provide a nomination yourself.
Just to get you started, here is a something to set the scene.
It’s the final night of the Afterword Film Festival and the arrangers have still to decide what to screen. Consensus is too much to hope for, but which movie will lead to the largest number of bums left on seats as the final credits roll?
The foyer of this cinema is lively and the moviegoers are a motley crew.
The Blockbuster Battalion are queuing for popcorn and soft drinks and hoping for the new Michael Bay.
The Francophile Falange, clutching their tattered copies of Cahiers de Cinema, have just popped out for quick Galoise. Will it be a Godard?
Over by the aspidistra are the Swinging Londoners. They’ve not forgotten the golden days of The Dambusters, Michael Powell, Julie Christie and Hammer. A re-issue of a 50s or 60s British classic would keep them happy.
The Glum Scrum are looking anxious. If the movie is not in black and while, slow-moving and with a vintage Polish jazz soundtrack they will be leaving early.
The Asian and Anime Army are in the corner nibbling take-away sushi and discussing which is the best Studio Ghibli movie and praising the talents of rising stars like Kore Eda.
The Nordic Nerds, chomping diligently on a leg of smoked moose, are keeping their fingers crossed for the Director’s Cut of a Bergman or a sneak preview of a new Roy Andersson.
Dressed in black from head to toe, The Gothic Gorehounds, have heard a rumour that the film will be a rediscovered masterpiece by Italian slashmaster Dario Argento.
The Kitchen Sink Conspiracy are getting lyrical about Loach and making it clear that they do want to watch anything with dragons, wizards or aliens.
Blimey! The RomCom Posse can’t even wait for the film. They are already having a quiet snog in the corner.We’d better choose a move now.
But can we we please them all?
I’ll set the bar high by kicking off nominations with Kind Hearts and Coronets.
And I’ll double down on that. Great film.
Lavender Hill Mob too.
Why stop there? Passport to Pimlico, The Man In The White Suit and my personal favourite The Ladykillers. Not The Titfield Thunderbolt though.
These movies will be the Motown of this thread, mark my words.
Yes to all of those except The Ladykillers. Just never got on with it somehow.
“Falls over, has to be revived with smelling salts.”
My nomination?
It’s got alps, nuns, villainous Nazis, hummable tunes and Julie Andrews. Who can dislike The Sound of Music?
Vetoed! I’ve never managed to last more than about half an hour, but from what I know of it I suspect I would be cheering on the Nazis. Loathesome bunch of brats. Sorry to do this to you on your own thread, KFD, but there was no other option.
I agree. Massive veto. Awful tunes and kids who made me root for the Nazis.
Yeah have a third veto. Makes me root for the wrong side in WWII and I’m not ok with that. Christopher Plummer always refers to it as The Sound of Mucus, and quite right too.
Fourthed.
Gott in Himmel. Nein.
Nom apologies needed. I was trolling shamelessly there Gatz. To kick things off, I had to find a film that everyone knew and and would not survive five minutes. Thank you Julie.
My mother took me to see this at a cinema in Birmingham. I got bored of the singing and lack of gunfire and in a restless state I found an unopened box of After Eight mints on the floor .
After snarfing the the contents I ended up puking the lot back into mommy’s handbag.
Never got invited again
I hated SOM for a long long time. Now I realise it is a fully fledged masterpiece…!
Sorry @Kaisfatdad – pile of shite The only good bit is when one by one the kids went to bed thus putting us all out of our misery. Allegedly Julie Andrews did a porn film which would be marginally more interesting.
She appears topless in her husband’s ‘S.O.B.’ Thankfully a quick internet search will save you having to watch this tripe.
She was in 10 with Dudley Moore, but when they shag at the end of the film, you don’t get to see it.
My eldest daughter went through a phase of loving the songs from Sisters Of Mercy, so I had week after week of watching Youtube clips of Edelweiss, Lonely Goatherd, Doh! A Deer, Favourite Things, Goodnight, etc – I got to know the film VERY well. Very jolly tunes, all of them – a pretty good strike rate, and fun to seeing along to, badly.
Sorry I love the SOM. So ner.
James Bond and Julie Andrews in SOM. Those have proved to be two of the most divisive postings on this thread with the vetos and the bouquets raining down.
Over to the Bonzos, who were so affected by the latter that they did a musical tribute.
Difficult to describe quite how emormous that movie was. The Frozen of the 1960s? When I visited Salzburg a few years ago, they were still running guided tours to the locations from it.
Some Like It Hot. It’s got Lemmon & Curtis in drag, Monroe, Curtis doing his best Cary Grant impersonation and the best last line in the history of motion pictures. Quite simply the best film ever.
Veto! It’s not funny. It might have been for its time but now it’s just boring, overrated drag. And it’s not got the best last line in the history of the movies – that belongs to Spinal Tap.
You are wrong.
Yes Gary, you are wrong.
Outrageous veto.
‘fraud you’re wrong there, old bean. It’s a wonderful film.
Sorry Gary, The people have spoken. I am going to annul that veto. But I am glad you expressed your opinion.
Fascist.
Sorry KFD but I don’t think any vetos should be annulled, no matter how unpopular the decision amongst the rest of us.
Remember this is supposed to be about films that no-one dislikes.
Unless the person who does the vetoing posts that they’ve changed their mind or made a mistake, all vetos must stand.
Besides, if he hadn’t vetoed it, I would. I’ve seen funnier cremations.
My name is legion, for we are many!
I do not agree with Gary. Some Like It Hot is subversive and comedic in its true sense and funny. Very.
Howver, rules is rules. A veto is a veto. Period.
Thankyou for putting me straight about that, Mike. You are quite right. A veto must be honoured, even if it is enormously unpopular. My apologies, Gary.
Oddly, Bingo has vetoed Spinal Tap and no one even seems to have noticed.
For god’s sake, KFD – shhhhh!
Duck Soup by the Marx brothers – everything great about them distilled into one miraculous creation. Others of theirs have scenes as funny but longeurs too. No fat here just 80 mins of mayhem
Absolutely agree. My favourite Marx Bros.
You could pick just about any Marx Bros movie, and only a cold hearted beast would speak out against you. I’m a Horse Feathers man, myself.
The later ones (A Night at the Opera, A Day at the Races), are not great, and all contain tedious sequences with non Marx brothers. And Zeppo is only in them because of his brothers.
Even the later ones are better than 99% of what’s been made since.
All of the ones mentioned are brilliant. Duck Soup is only really the best because of the absence of musical interludes…
When I was ten years old I saw Monkey Business, and the bit where Harpo gets off the boat and gleefully throws the border guards’ papers all over the place was the greatest thing I had ever seen. It still is.
Every one has a moment like that that makes the piano and harp playing bearable.
I LOVE the piano and harp playing.
The really dull bits are when the main bit of male crumpet seranades the main bit of female crumpet. No jokes at all. Boooo! This is what happened when the original shows were on stage because the lads needed to have a rest every now and then. Don’t see why this should be carried over into a movie though. My granny genuinely liked those bits though, so what do I know?
I’m just gonna slip this in here unnoticed and say that I thought “Harpo Speaks” was a right load of old bollocks too. And not in a good way.
Yes, I know, why bother etc etc.
You, sir, are a bounder.
This Is Spinal Tap
(nuff said?)
Can’t imagine how anyone could possibly oppose this. Good shout.
I’ll be drumming my fingers nervously and refreshing the screen. I can’t imagine anyone not loving Spinal tap.
Veto! It’s unfunny and overrated.
I’m…er…joking of course.
I wouldn’t veto it, because I’m not a monster. But this being the only truly AW-friendly film would be a bit…. boring, wouldn’t it?
Just sayin
The chances of this film being vetoed are very limited (it might happen?).
Maybe the the thread title should’ve been:
“Spinal Tap is a given, but are there any other films that no one dislikes?”
Fuck it. Veto. I feel like we all want to do it just to see what happens.
Oh dear, I hope my weak joke didn’t propel the mischievous idea of a ‘tap veto.
The scene that I reference is one of my very favourite things on screen. The genius of the film is that so many supporting actors appear briefly and make the most of their moments.
The scene at the military base where the booking is definitely a catastrophic mistake is wonderful. The USAF officer, faced by cold indifference from the band and the realisation that this will be a disaster decides to tackle the situation head on in a cheery, upbeat, matey way – which is not reciprocated. You can tell he is crying inside. As an attempt at banter, he makes out that his need of a haircut might result him being mistaken for one of the band! Again, bemused silence. “I’m…er…joking, of course”.
If anyone even dreams of vetoing tap, they’d better wake up and apologise.
Alright, I’ll pick Waiting For Guffman then. Not as well known, but just as funny as Tap.
Quadrophenia – not so much a film, more a way of life
(or so the strapline on the DVD case tells us)
Veto. I hate mod culture with a vengeance and I can’t stand The Who.
Double veto. Fucking Sting’s in it.
*Hastily rethinks nominating Dune*
He is in a nappy though. That’s a win surely
Tantric?
Double double veto.
Based on a subculture that supposedly thrives on small details – the “details” in Quadrowotsit are all over the bleedin’ place.
Psycho – a step leap in the language of film. Even before the motel, Marion driving away from the city with the stolen money, guilty voices in her head as the sky darkens, to being woken by the creepy highway cop – just brilliant film making.
Sometimes Saturday night has a lonely sound…
Veto. As overrated as anything else with Hitchcock’s name on it.
Dismissing a whole oeuvre in one quick little sweep? You can veto it, of course – no problem – but overrated in comparison to what exactly? Just out of interest….
I just don’t like Hitchcock. I find the love for his films baffling. Always too much of a cynical smartarse for me.
“There’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark out, and we’re wearing sunglasses”
“Hit it!”
“And now ladies and gentlemen, it is the distinct pleasure of the management to present to you, the evening’s star attraction. Here they are back after their exclusive three year tour of Europe, Scandinavia and the sub continent. Won’t you welcome from Calumet City Illinios, the show band of Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues … The Blues Brothers“
Veto. It’s boring. Some ace moments but no.
Yep
Very yep. Unbearable!
I nominate Pulp Fiction (haven’t read the entire thread yet)
I – literally – hate The Blues Brothers.
Veto fucking Corleone.
It’s A Wonderful Life
Predator
Aliens
Die Hard
If you don’t like any one of those, I’m taking off and nuking the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Can I veto Predator on the basis that I fell asleep at the cinema whilst watching it?
The only other time that happened was with Total Recall – maybe I’ve got Arnold Schwarzenegger-induced narcolepsy.
(the only Arnie film I find watchable is Twins)
You don’t find Terminator 2 watchable?
I think it remains peak Arnie. And I say this as a man who has paid money to sit in the cinema all night and watch 7 Schwarzenegger movies in a row…
We’re a long way from Kind Hearts… as the brief is a movie no-one could dislike. I personally love Top Gun and the F-14 remains a thing of beauty, as does Kelly McGillis, but am aware not everyone can fall for its subtle charms.
Top Gun… a Reaganite wet dream – basically a Yank version of Who Dares Wins*. I don’t want to watch a film that replicates what the inside of Piers Morgan’s head is like.
(*which I am vetoing preemptively just in case).
Paths of Glory!!!
Mr MoseleyMoles knows my thoughts on Top Gun. I veto watching it. Therefore it can not be a film that no one dislikes.
Mrs MoseleyMoles
Can I veto Die Hard on the grounds that it contains Bruce Willis?
No.
Is “contain” the right word here?
Speaking of which, I’m a bit perturbed at the absence of Chuck Norris from this thread.
But I’d be more perturbed by his presence.
I was going to suggest It’s a Wonderful Life.
I also wanted to nominate Field Of Dreams for the panel’s consideration but it’s possibly too much of a tear jerker.
If you suggest it, they will come.
Errr…
Sorry…”hurrrr”
Re: Field of Dreams
You spend the whole film waiting for Shoeless Joe Jackson to turn up, and when he finally arrives, he doesn’t even give you a rendition of “Is She Really Going Out With Him” What a rotten swizz!
People running around blasting things is dull, dull, dull. I veto Predator, Aliens and Die Hard.
I think to veto something you have to demonstrate you have seen and understood it. That description is only appropriate for Predator, which has in any case already been vetoed.
Does that apply to Pink Floyd on the other thread too, F?
Nope. My rules on that thread, and people were entirely free to veto by band.
I’ve listened to lots of Pink Floyd, to my lasting regret.
Describing Aliens as just “running around blasting things” is like describing Dark Side Of The Moon as frivolous three minute pop. So off-beam it’s just a bit… odd.
But isn’t that the idea? To find a film or films we all like? Not sit in judgment over others’ tastes? Plenty of mine have been vetoed for fairly spurious reasons. No matter. I’d veto Aliens too if it were still in contention – utter tosh from s to f for me.
Sure, fair dos.
Based on strength of feeling here, maybe I should give it another go.
OP says you can’t veto by genre. I move to have tigger ejected from the venue by cannon.
Aliens is about a mother’s love.
And it’s the best film ever.
This doesn’t make it sound like the best film ever. And yet, it is.
It’s a Wonderful Life. Yes it’s a Xmas film but it deals with the lowest point anyone can get to, suicide. But it shows us that through love, friendship and the difference that one person can make, the world is a wonderful place. And we all need to remember that in these dark and difficult times
American politics right now basically is Pottersville to such an extent that it’s almost scary. You want the Trumpkins to watch it and ask them if they preferred the Bedford Falls with no George in it, cos that’s what they seem to have voted for. Baffling.
I watched it at Christmas and snuffled a bit, like I always do, but this year for different reasons. In real life Pottersville wins every time.
Brilliant movie.
Can we have a big communal Afterword hurrah for Frank Capra?
Hurrah!
Hurrah! Big cheer for Capra! You’ll notice I nominated It happened one night, a romcom which is still hilariouly enjoyable today.
Since I’m already known as the heartless bastard who vetoed Another Girl, Another Planet on the musical consensus thread, I might as well go down in history as the heartless bastard who hates It’s a Wonderful Life as well…
I nominate The Shop Around the Corner by Lubitch for a much better Christmas cheer.
You may the Another Girl Another Planet-denier (heartless bastard!), but I’m with you on Its A Wonderful Life
Don’t think it is a Christmas film, it’s only partly set at that time of the year. Most of it has nothing to do with Christmas even though it is now associated with that season.
I always thought it was really smart of those prisoners to stage their “Great Escape” on Boxing Day, when the German guards would be hungover….
I’m sure there’ll be someone who doesn’t like Distant Voices, Still Lives, cos it’s slow, there’s no plot as such, there’s no action and it’s grim. But I think it’s the most remarkable, beautiful, poetic film ever made.
It is a fantastic film. Pete Postlethwaite is unbelievably good.
Hi there! I walked out of it. The lengthy, unedited still of the carpet was my tipping point…
Only a massive Marx Brothers character would say that.
Rumbled!
I’m not a big film buff but I am going to try and pick a winner…….
Marley & Me
The Winner!
I can’t stand his teeth. And hair.
I believe “fur” is the correct term.
Pulp Fiction. A rollercoaster of a film, with an ace soundtrack, best ever performances from John Travolta, Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson, so many iconic moments, so many quotable lines, it changed the face of American cinema. Only spoilt ever so slightly by Quentin Tarantino thinking he can act.
Yes. Familiarity can sometimes dull the impact of a film but PF transformed Hollywood and – it seems to me – made good writing essential again.
PF is smug film-school crap. I hate QT. A film that tells you in mile-high letters of flame that it is cool is a) not cool and b) can fuck off in any case. Give me the honest preposterousness of James Cameron any day.
No, give me The Burbs.
Oh well. Former video store clerk QT was the opposite of a film-school type. I was such a one at the time.
KELLY’S HERO’S
“its up….no it ain’t”
“congratulations……you win a cookee”
great theme tune too.
FISH
Planes, Trains and Automobiles
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Home Alone
Monsters Inc
The Raid
The Princess Bride
The Big Lebowski
Surely Gary can’t veto them all? Can he?
I’ll veto Planes, Trains … for the sentimental twist you can see a mile off. Some of your others are among my favourites though.
I’d better nominate “Uncle Buck” here, so that Gatz can veto that one as well.
Relax – I haven’t seen it.
Nope. I’m pretty sure I’d want to veto Monsters Inc if I’d ever seen it. And I certainly veto the silly nonsense that is Home Alone. But the others are all excellent choices.
You say “silly nonsense” like it’s a bad thing….
..but there’s a big difference between great Silly Nonsense and frankly shite Silly Nonsense.
I’ll veto Lebowski for the Kraftwerk-bashing (….apparently if you have a college education, saying All Germans Are Nazis is a) hilariously subtle satire and b) not racist)
KFD – can I get a ruling on whether I can veto Moose and his stupid face?
Oh dear, not cool enough for this thread I fear.
Toy Story 3 then, you c***s.
Go on, I f***ing dare you.
Veto. It’s a cartoon that makes me want to cry, and that ain’t right.
Sorry Bingo. I am afraid Moose counts as a one man genre and as such cannot be vetoed.
A one man genre. “Hey, wanna see some Moose films?” “Ugh, no thanks….”
Ok then. Which bits of him can I veto?
Dude, my funeral happened yesterday. I’m untouchable. At least until the Newsnight team get hold of my Google cache.
^^ Up exchanges like this.
Do you two have a double act podcast?
Veto Lebowski? You are dead to me.
Seriously tho, nowhere does it say all German’s are Nazis. That’s just, like, your opinion, man.
The Princess Bride was my first thought. My favourite film and I just can’t imagine anybody not liking it.
Great choice, Paul. I won’t say too much in case the Velociveto raptors hear me.
The Princess Bride. Yuk. I truly expected to like it – I’ve got a great deal of time for more or less everyone involved and was really looking forward to seeing it but found it unfunny and unbearably smug. I gave it a couple of tries but never managed to get much further than the first half hour or so and eventually it went off to a charity shop.
Everyone loves The 39 Steps though, don’t they?
BUT ALL THE GOOD STUFF STARTS HAPPENING FROM ABOUT 30 MINS IN!!!
Badlands
Great shout
Too long.
I don’t mean to raise massive, massive doubts over pretty much everything you’ve said on this thread, tiggs, but Badlands is 94 minutes long.
The Thing (Carpenter remake)
You can basically do one if you don’t like The Thing
I’d better go and do one then
(“do” what?)
Ditto True Romance
Veto.
You’re so uncool.
Network
Don’t Look Now
Don’t look Now. Overwrought and overrated. vetoed.
Terence Malick’s Tree of Life. EVERYONE loves Tree of Life.
Not me. Boring crap.
Cool Hand Luke.
Veto. I find it depressingly patriarchal.
Alright then, Cool Hand Luka.
Luke should really check his privilege and stop hogging all the eggs.
No, Cool Hand Luka is a film about a girl living upstairs from Suzanne Vega whose parents are forcing her to work on a railroad.
Did you read my review? Not everyone loves Tree of Life.
I was being facetious. The vast majority of people hate it.
On a more serious note; Pearl Harbour and Love Actually.
The Boat That Rocked (that soundtrack!!) and Rattle and Hum (O’Nob in Memphis!!)
PS. The plaintive “Did you read my review?” is, I fear, the saddest utterance of the erstwhile Afterworder.
We’re all here for some self-validation. Better be that, as the beer’s awful.
Big Wednesday
It’s about surfing, innit? No. It’s about friendship and ageing. And it’s lovely. And Point Break is good, but Big Wednesday is in another league.
The poster hangs framed on my office wall. LOVE this movie.
Also: Point Break.
Have the poster too. A life changer for me and 2 mates who saw this at an all night show in Stafford and spent 20+ years surfing.
It took me to Oz where I met my first wife, the States including Hawaii (twice), Peru and Mexico.
Finally gave up last year after tearing knee ligaments again.
Loved every minute and made some fantastic friends.
Now we’re talking. How was Hawaii?
First trip was scary. Stayed at Rocky Point and thought there was an earthquake but turned out to be 16+ footers pounding the shore. Knowing my limitations I watched. Localism ruled when you could get in and you could spend an hour in the line up without catching anything.
Second trip was much better as I met a guy in Indonesia who lived near the north shore and had a few spots mapped out
That’s great writing. And Fin don’t surf.
I think I love you, Sam. Any time you’d like to post more about your surf adventures, I’m all ears.
Chariots of Fire
When We Were Kings
Do The Right Thing
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Exorcist
Alien
Did you know Radio Raheem died last year? For some reason I find that particularly sad.
First Alien film – Amen.
Veto for Chariots of Fire. Can’t stand it.
The Exorcist takes over an hour to get going, Raiders Of The Lost Ark is frivolous nonesense, Alien is stupid and Do The Right Thing is too worthy (but gets extra marks for Fight The Power).
Do you like any films?
Tigger likes movies in that exact sweet spot between frivolity and worthiness.
Frivworth?
Down at heel town on Sussex coast.
“When we were Kings”
Yes, that was a good film. But it was basically a documentary. Do documentaries count?
“Life Of Brian”
Great acting,funny story and many quotable lines.
“My fwiend Biggus Dickus”
“Look Brian,Mr Cohen isn’t your father.””I never thought he was!”
“Spare a shekel for an old ex-leper” etc.
Veto.
Why? Because of its fans or because it’s British?
One of these reasons is acceptable.
Agree. I vetoed due to the acceptable one.
Oh cwikey, you ebsolute wotter!
Shaun of the Dead.
You can have Hot Fuzz if you like, which is by far the best of the Cornetto trilogy, but Shaun is too obvious in its didacticism. Hey! People drift through life like zombies, get it? Yes. And long before you thought I did.
Interesting. I think Hot Fuzz is the weakest of the three. Third act’s a drag.
It is, and that’s it big weakness, but it’s wittier and smarter than Shaun, and World’s End is a bit crap. So I suppose that’s all three vetoed, one of them before it was even nominated which must be a record.
I quite like TWE. Another bad third act, but the first half is so utterly bang on.
Ooh, if we can veto films before they’re nominated, can I save people the bother of nominating any of The Godfather films? They’re not the best films ever made; they’re not even Coppola’s best films (that’d be Apocalypse Now). They’re boring is what they are.
Testify, Gary!
I like them well enough, but there’s a lot of received wisdom around those flicks. Historically, extremely important. But I don’t feel the need to watch ’em much. And Apocalypse shits them both.
Godfather and Godfather part II are as good as it gets. Way better than Apocalypse (see below)
If you ban the Godfather films you Vito Corleone…
✋️
I actually managed to veto The Shawshank Redemption* over in the song thread before this one even started. I may be getting above my self.
* Because it’s crap, alright? Not just dull, or something I don’t get but objectively duff, cliched and awful. Truly a bad film.
Tootsie – WHICH IS ABOUT TO START ON FILM 4.
Top Hat.
Kill Bill.
Tootsie – Amen.
Kill Bill veto becuae Tarantello and martial arts (a match made in hell if ever I heard one)
If we’re doing Tarantino and Pulp is gone then I’m nominating The Hateful Eight.
Other recent films that won’t survive, but I’ll nominate anyhoo:
Boyhood
Fury Road (“it has no story” – wah wah wah, cry me a river)
Veto for FR, it has no story. Nominate Mad Max 2 which is easily the best one.
… and also has no story. Fury Road is virtually a remake of Road Warrior.
Fair point. And I Don’t dislike FR, just kind of felt so what at the end.
They’re both great genre movies. George Miller is a genius.
Fury Road is fantastic, but would it have killed them to put just one gyrocopter in?
Tunes of Glory….
Or possibly The Cruel Sea….
Apocalypse Now is the answer, probably not the directors cut, as the extra hour takes it further from the glory that is the Ride of the Valkyries Charlie don’t Surf scene, Robert Duvall never better.
Always my no.1 go to film.
It has a strong argument to be called the greatest movie ever made. So some jackass is sure to veto it.
On which note: Jackass the Movie. Two of the best hours I’ve ever spent in the cinema.
Here I am. Apocalypse Now is a study in tedium. Overwrought, overrated and over-acted (by Brando)
Jackass.
Haven’t seen it
I am sure most people are just listing their favourite movies, surely no one can dislike my faves (leaving out some already nominated)?
The Apartment
Vertigo
Rear Window
Withnail and I
The Third Man
I like Withnail and I, but I find it a bit tiresome. Veto.
Saved me the trouble. Survived far too long on the quotability of it’s script. It’s actually a bit crap.
Have to say I find The Apartment, as well as The Odd Couple, fairly mirth-free. Grumpy Old Men however…
I’d have misgivings about anyone who doesn’t like Vertigo, Rear Window and The Third Man. Magnificent all of them
Have migivings about me then. Love The Third Man, hate Hitchcock.
Wot, even The 39 Steps?
Not a nomination, but a pre-emptive veto (grumpy old sod, that I am).
I have never seen the attraction of the Star Wars franchise.
Saw the first one when it came out, and I agree at the age of 7 it was a wonderful sight – space, fighting, dark forces, a hairy bloke, chelsea buns for hairdos, and a quasi-Morecambe and Wise droid double act.
I have seen the original 3, and the fourth (first?) film … but cannot see why people go doolally about them.
(everyone probably hates me now)
Now, Spaceballs …
“Your helmet is so biiiig!”
“NOSSIR I did not see you playing with your toys.”
Gravity. So good I’m watching it right now.
John Wick. So good I’m watching it in an hour’s time (and the sequel is excellent).
John Wick is bladdy awesome.
Baba Yaga. The boogeyman.
Gravity is so annoying I wished she’d drowned.
No. Gravity is beautifully shot. Apart from that it’s crap.
The last 5 minutes are just excruciating. I got into trouble as I muttered, sotto voce, “shit, she’s going to do a Grissom” as water came into view. Style over substance, that movie.
Primer
I am going to veto this in three months and that post will appear here.
Or will it?
And Goodfellas
I am vetoing the shit out of Goodfellas. Massively overrated film, and I hold it responsible for the obsession with long, single takes that has blighted movies since.
You are just throwing your toys out because I dislike that Apocalypse Now crap….
I actually do legit dislike Goodfellas. In fact, I’ll go further: Martin Scorsese is the most overrated director in cinema history. Take a look at his filmography.
Sorry no. Divisive, yes, reliant on Peak Bob yes, but
Mean Streets
Taxi Driver
Raging Bull
King of Comedy
Is a proper imperial period.
New York New York isn’t too shabby, and Casino not too bad either.
Yes he’s made a lot of dross but so’s Paul McCartney and no-one disses The Beatles.
I’ll happily diss the Beatles. They haven’t made a decent movie in 30+ years.
Taxi Driver is a masterpiece. King of Comedy and Mean Streets are both very good. Raging Bull, I can take or leave.
Scorsese hasn’t made a half decent movie since Cape Fear, and that was going on three decades ago. It’s been a succession of stinkers in recent years.
As with Bob ‘what a falling off was there’
Though my son rates Dirty Grandpa.
Take a look at the movies Scorsese has made and ask yourself where he’d be without those extraordinary De Niro performances.
If we’re talking Scorsese surely no one here could dislike The Last Waltz?
Personally, I disliked the First Waltz. You can imagine how I felt by the end of the night. Veto.
I’d add Wolf Of Wall Street to that list. Just above New York and Casino.
Vetoing WOWS straight away. One of the worst movies of recent years.
Dames-a-plenty, a 60s pop festival, Williams, James, Jacques, a bunch of schoolgirls on holiday, Betty Marsden, tents and caravans – a.k.a. the genius that is “Carry on Camping.”
Or “North by North West.”
Or The Dave Clark Five film, “Catch Us If You Can.”
Veto all three.
North by Northwest is perfect
There isn’t a single funny Carry On film. They’re dire. Don’t care that they’re “camp” or “of their time”. They’re shite.
North by North West?
The only film I’ve seen in a cinema that got clapped at the end.
I was in a cinema in Boston when Witness came out and people got on their feet and cheered when Harrison offed the bad guys in the grain elevator. They’re more expressive over there.
Best audience response I’ve ever witnessed: Jerry Maguire. Go figure.
What, everyone fell asleep?
Witness is a good call – beautiful film, and it has Kelly McGillis as well.
They were clapping because it was finally over.
Sorry you’re still sore, Mr. Little!
You never know, it “might” get better.
How did your lot get on today?
Vetoes have been rubbish since the Seventies.
“They’re shite.” …
and that’s why they are brilliant
(except for Emmanuelle, which was shite!)
No. Just shite. Not so shit they’re good. Just shit. Bad. Awful. No fun at all to watch.
The best Carry On film is that compendium of the best bits.
Well I like them! Watched them all over the course of a few weeks a year or two ago. They start off good, get better and then have a slow decline, with the odd gem like …At Your Convenience, until the last three are pretty much unwatchable. I watched around 50-60 Hammer Horror films in order too, around the same time, and every Elvis film, but those two started off great and then went into the slow decline, barring the odd gem like Frankenstein and the Monster From Hell/Roustabout (I’ll let you decide which is the horror). My Woody Allen viewing marathon kept the quality up for longer though, before the decline (with gems).
But I like the Carry On films. Liked Them as a kid and still like them now. I’m fascinated by the stories of the actors who made them too. We just don’t have that wealth of eccentric comedic character actors any more. In fact, there are only a smattering of the Carry On cast still with us. Babs, Jim Dale, June Whitfield, Angela Douglas, Bill Maynard, Julian Holloway, Fenella Fielding, Amanda Barrie and then you’re down to the bit parts.
The Railway Children.
“Daddy, my Daddy!”
Oh yes.
Oh no! (blubs into sleeve)
The Big Chill
The greatest ‘ensemble’ movie. Perfectly portrays the lasting friendships that are forged by the brief but intense years of university, and their relevance (or lack of relevance) in the outside world. Each character is someone you know. Sort of.
The Last Of The Mohicans
I never tire of watching this film.
Big Chill is too smug.
Ben Dovers An*l Sp*nkfest
Slutty Grannies IV (so much better than I, II or III)
Better than Strap on Sally 7?
Cinema Paradiso
Burn After Reading
The Jerk
Mon Oncle
Paths of Glory
All Quiet on the Western Front
Downfall
Fanny and Alexander
Wild Strawberries
Seventh Seal
Seven Samurai
Yojimbo
The Chorus
Petit Nicholas
A Matter of Life and Death
Mr Smith Goes to Washington
Maltese Falcon
The Imposter
Name of the Rose
Selma
The Right Stuff
Kes
Billy Liar
The Castle
Muriel’s Wedding
Fargo
Young Frankenstein
Truman Show
Whiplash
Withnail and I
Tess
Theory of Everything
Crouching Tiger
The Chorus
Black Hawk Down
Bedazzled (P&D version)
Amélie
Argo
Topsy Turvy
The Lives of Others
Sabrina
Radio Days
One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest
Misery
The Producers
I could go on…
But if you could only take one to your desert island which one would it be?
It would be It’s a Wonderful Life. Watch it every year with tears in my eyes, I’m that soppy. But already been vetoed.
I’d like to second A Matter of Life and Death. Just wonderful.
Closely followed by Life and Death of Colonel Blimp.
That is a stupendous list Bartleby.
Three films by Bergman too. Clearly you are a Scandophile. And quite a lot of other Philes too.
Thanks K. All sorts of philes, excepting the sort that gets you into trouble…
I completely forgot Hitchcock and Westerns btw. Should have mentioned 39 Steps, North by NW, Rio Bravo, The Grapes of Wrath, The Searchers and Stagecoach. Oh and Tin Men, the Shining, Grey Gardens, Hairspray, the Amazing Mr Blunden, the Princess Bride, Dr Strangelove, Stardust, elf, The Changeling, Groundhog Day, Hope and Glory and Untouchable.
I have the Afterword to thank for turning me belatedly onto the works of Powell and Pressburger. So I’m grateful to all you Archers (not the long-running radio series) fans out there. A Matter of Life and Death and The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp are so utterly brilliant that they must be unvetoable. And “A Canterbury Tale” and “The Red Shoes” are none too shabby either.
Vetoing Burn After Reading, The Truman Show, The Theory Of Everything, and Argo. Some brilliant movies on that list though.
You can wipe these off the list cos I veto them on account of them being either boring or rubbish or both:
Burn After Reading
Fanny and Alexander
Name of the Rose
Truman Show
Whiplash
Tess
Crouching Tiger
Black Hawk Down
Topsy Turvy
The Producers
Thank you for specifying the Pete & Dud version of Bedazzled.
On that note, I assume that you mean the Ant & Dec version of Wild Strawberries.
Ha! Didn’t want anyone to think I had a soft spot for that turd of a remake!
Yeah, those Swedish people…. useless.
I couldn’t liv without a tasty bit of sveedish.
I’m going to veto Young Frankenstein as we tried to watch it a couple of weeks ago but gave up. Not as good as I remembered it to be.
Bloody actual hell.
Try watching with some children Dave. It’ll bring it all back I promise.
Genuinely curious, when did you last watch it (you too Moose)?
A year ago with my kids. It’s explaining the jokes and stuff that brings it to life again – hard to find a film you have known so well and so long that funny – I recently sat stony faced through Blazing Saddles for instance – but YF still does it for me.
About a year ago… for about the 15th time in 30+ years. Laughed my fat ass off.
This is no recommendation. I usually find myself totally alone with what I like on here, as in life.
Really couldn’t be doing with Hidden Dragon Crouching Tiger. -tedious in the extreme
Wrong. Great film.
The Red Balloon. I watched the first ten minutes with someone who’d never seen it the othe day, I must have seen it half a dozen times and it charms every time. BEst ending ever.
And on another level Mr Hulot’s Holiday is irresistible.
Avatar
Wonderful script
Superior acting
Reasonable special effects
Veto. It’s absolutely awful. Looks like a mid-priced PlayStation game now, and its effects/look were its only selling point at the time.
I’m not being snarky, honestly, but were you joking about the script?
I was. I do like the film, a guilty pleasure if you will, but I’m well aware of its weaknesses.
When the Afterword first came up as a test site there was a very scholarly review of Debbie Does Dallas.
Just sayin.
Local Hero
Excellent pick and a big omission from my list.
Agreed. And of course Gregory’s Girl
Just cos I love them:
The Third Man
In The Heat of The Night
Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid
Cry Baby
I think all my other favourites have already been vetoed
Cry Baby is brilliant!
Jaws
Local Hero
Blade runner
I was very disappointed in the shark.
Elephant man
Breaking away
Up
Wall E
Veto Wall-E, but Up is superb.
The first ten minutes of Up = a cartoon that makes you cry. Please be consistent, like me.
The beauty of this entire concept is: I don’t have to be consistent.
Also, I’m going to veto Up because those first ten minutes is the only part of the film that’s any good. The rest is seriously dull and annoying (dog).
Vetoing Wall E AND Up? You people are monsters.
Well, I can suggest Pinocchio instead, and then you can veto that one, if it makes you feel better! 🙂
Ah, that’s a lovely film. Scary and sad and happy.
Veto Wall E? But it is a thing of beauty. You are a hard hearted man.
As much as I love Up, I do find it a tough watch. That opening montage is just too sad. First time I watched it I was a bit of a blubbery mess. And even now, the music can set me off.
White Heat, Cagney at his best.
White Mischief. Scacchi at her best! Not a particularly good film though.
I know these will get shot down……
The Incredibles
Spirited Away
Gregory’s Girl
Mulholland Drive
Blow Out
Winter Light
Andrei Rublev
Manhattan
The Breakfast Club
Betty Blue
LA Confidential
Spirited Away
Night Of The Hunter
The Manchurian Candidate (1962)
Roman Holiday
Breakfast At Tiffanys
A Town Called Panic
The Social Network
The White Ribbon
Good list KDH. I haven’t seen Betty Blue since it was a full-frontal one-handed pause job. Does it still stand up (so to speak)?
Thanks @Bartleby – yes, worth seeing the full 3-hour Director’s cut that’s now widely available too – fills in some of the gaps in the story, although I still have a fondness for the original 2 hour version. And, of course, Beatrice Dalle was never lovelier.
Pity Beineix never did anything of this calibre again. At the time it felt like a zeitgeist movie, one of the last foreign language movies to do some real box office in english language territories, one that sold a lot of posters, but has now slipped (unfairly) from public consciousness. Gorgeous soundtrack too.
You’re right @KDH. Not many foreign language movies become such talking points. Amélie, Crouching Tiger and the Three Colours movies maybe – although my memory may be playing tricks.
I had the BB poster too – had forgotten that. That and Empire of the Sun served to cover up a feast of woodchip in my student days.
37°2 Le Matin
Les Amants du Pont Neuf might sneak in as the best french film
Has to be the director’s cut of course. **SPOILER** Saw the short version and was mystified why the male lead carries out the final act in drag. Full version explains why.
‘a zeitgeist movie, one of the last foreign language movies to do some real box office in english language territories…’ I wonder why that was?
15 years or so ago I found myself quite by accident in that strange beach town on stilts the movie was filmed in.
Veto “The Breakfast Club”. All the rest are fine.
Double veto for The Breakfast Club
A group of people thrown together against their will.
Frosty relationships are broken by the discovery that they all have the same/similar targets to rail against, and despite their backgrounds learn new tolerances from each other, find common-ground, and end up being true friends (probably for life).
In the words of Vyvyan Basterd: “It’s so bloody nice, and I hate it!”
(also responsible for knackering Simple Minds)
Betty Blue has been my favourite film since I was a teenager.
I read the book and think the film did an excellent job, especially the director’s cut. It’s one of the few film soundtracks I own.
I always had a soft spot for Jean-Hugues Anglade and was mildly bemused when he was caught up in the train attack last year.
I didn’t even realise that there was a book! Shame on me!
It’s by the very productive Philippe Dijan.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philippe_Djian
Easy to miss, given the name change!
I read it in the original language (oooooh, get me!!) so I’ve no idea if any translations are any good.
A bad translation can transform a fab book into something immensely unenjoyable.
The name change to Betty Blue was a small stroke of genius. I can’t imagine that the film would have had the same impact entitled: 37˚2 le matin.
Of course, a very good translation can sometimes turn a sow’s ear into a silk purse, or at least a fairly good book into a very good book.
I far prefer 37°2 Le Matin. Great title. And I agree, Scarlet – the soundtrack album is a must-have.
The Breakfast Club.
I don’t care – it’s still my favourite film, and endlessly quotable.
Pan’s Labyrinth.
Once Upon a Time In the West.
Amelie.
Fargo.
Brazil.
Sean Of the Dead.
SOTD vetoed earlier.
Pan’s Labyrinth vetoed now. Tedious nonsense.
Brazil is great, but Amelie is appalling, sentimental, oh-so-whimsical, self-indulgent shite. I hated it. One of the few films I walked out of.
Vetoed – in case that wasn’t clear.
Fargo was topped by the TV series!
The Three Amigos.
No no and thrice no. Steve Martin is only rarely not irritating, Chevy Chase never so. Steve Gutte berg was born irritating; it’s a miracle he wasn’t christened ‘thrush’.
Don’t you mean Martin Short? Nicest man in Hollywood apparently.
Ah yes. As you might observe form the time stamp I was just home from a party at the time, and in that state found the thrush line too amusing to be hampered be minor details like fact checking. Hugely annoying film in any case.
Get used to it BL, it’s shit – if there wasn’t a cocaine blizzard during shooting I’d be amazed. The only good part is the Blue Thingies on the Trail song.
Until this moment, i’d always rather thought of you as my little buttercup, MC.
*simpers*
Right, obviously the greatest film ever made is.
Two Way Stretch.
But the following will do.
The Lives of others.
Sideways.
Kind Hearts and Coronets.
The Lavender Hill Mob.
The Ladykillers.
The Apartment.
The Lady Vanishes – the original with Naunton Wayne and Basil Radford
I’m alright Jack
The life and death of Colonel Blimp
The Social Network
Cal
Cinema Paradiso
Grand Budapest Hotel
Salvatore Giuliano
The Odd Couple.
Jean de Florette/Manon des Sources.
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
Jean De Florette/Manon des Sources – what a fantastic film. I’d completely forgotten about it. Must try and get hold of it and watch it again.
“Do you like… um… French cinema at all, Ted?”
Some beauts there. Big ups for Sideways and Cal.
Vetoing Sideways. Smug and tedious in the extreme
When the love interest is prattling on about grapes and so on it does descend into smugness. The rest of the film is untouchable though.
Veto The Social Network on account of all the shitness.
For me, standing above every other film so far nominated, I nominate
One flew over the cuckoos nest.
Official trailer
Sorry JTB, vetoed. Jack Nicholson irritates the hell out of me.
This film came upon the radio this morning – Born Yesterday (with Judy Holliday) – haven’t seen it years but very enjoyable as I recall. Nobody can dislike it surely ?
I nominate Time Bandits.
Sorry LB, time bandits gets a thumbs down from me.
Can I also propose
The Magnificent Seven (The 60s version, not the recent remake – and yes, I know it is itself a remake)
Toy story
The Commitments
Gran Torino
I’m going to veto Gran Torino. Didn’t like it. Boring. Mystic River would be a much better choice.
Veto Mystic River. Overwrought and lots of overacting.
Good choice with The Commitments and The Sting.
Oops, nearly forgot – The Sting.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.
The Good, The Bad & The Ugly.
Great choice & a killer soundtrack.
Mrs Doubtfire. Robin Williams at his ad-libbing best. Pierce Brosnan is great in it and even Sally Fields can’t spoil the fun. The essence of family entertainment.
Mrs Doubtfire is awful. As are most films starring Robin Williams. Massive veto.
Patch Adams, the obvious exception.
Seriously? I absolutely loathed Patch Adams. One Hour Photo is the obvious exception.
Good Morning Vietnam is another.
As is The World According To Garp.
Good Morning Vietnam is exactly the same story as Patch Adams, just in a different context. It’s formula-following, lowest common denominator tripe. Garp at least has a spark of originality.
The Fisher King.
Dead Poets Society. In my all time top five films of all time, m’great mate.
The Fisher King’s a goodun, but Dead Poets is awful. Nobody like those characters exists in real life.
Watch Song For A Raggy Boy, if you’ve not seen it. On youtube in its entirety (albeit with Portugese subtitles). A realistic Dead Poets (sort of), with realistic characters and a realistic story. And none of that “Captain my Captain” bollocks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpyo-BtwoJY
Yes – definitely agree about DPS – poor privileged schoolboys fighting for their right to self expression? Not one sympathetic character in the whole film, and Robin Williams’ oh so noble heroic teacher made me want to puke.
Disagree completely. Having rich parents doesn’t guarantee you happiness, by any means. I think several of the kids are very sympathetic characters.
Bingo, if that was a response to me (hard to tell, this far into a sub-thread), it might not have been apparent, but I wasn’t suggesting the schoolboys didn’t have their troubles – just that it wasn’t a situation I related to or cared about. And I’m speaking as someone who experienced bullying at boarding school.
I’m glad you found the characters sympathetic. I didn’t, but that wasn’t because they were privileged. I just didn’t like them.
Raising Arizona
Excellent choice!
School for Scoundrels
Another nom for Two Way Stretch
Express Bongo (expect to be shot down on this one)
Talking of getting shot down, The Dam Busters
If you don’t like Hunt for the Wilderpeople you are dead to me.
Hooray! Hunt for the Wilderpeople.
Another School for scoundrels/ two way stretch.
Plus original “the ladykillers”
In the heat of the night
Original “the Producers”
“Bad day at black rock”
And an outsider: “Street Trash”
In the Heat of the Night – great call.
Jules et Jim… The vote stops here
My viewing for tonight, funnily enough. Glorious.
American Beauty
Veto. Also pre vetoing Fight Club.
That’s a yellow card for even mentioning it.
The first rule of Fight Club is that you veto Fight Club. Pitt so wooden you could use him for solid fuel.
“The first rule of Mime Club is….” *gets thrown out of Mime Club*
Paris, Texas.
10 Rillington Place.
Citizen X.
For fans of the macabre.
I have been busy doing normal Saturday evening things like seeing a woman about a dog, putting a child to bed, washing up etc and in the meantime this thread has taken on a life of its own. I feel like Dr Frankenstein getting back to the lab to discove that his creation has learnt to dance, found a girlfriend and is now a YouTube celebrity.
I do think we have to ban the Preemptive Veto. Getting the retaliation in first. particualarly if it is before a thread has even started, does not seem to be Queenbury Rules.
But lots of wonderful films are being named. Locust is establishing a reputation for herself as the Valkyrie of Vetonia. Heaven save the poor song or film which occurs her displeasure!
I think I’ve been very restrained, I’ve only vetoed two films (and two songs IIRC) and have let lots of quite mediocre films go by unvetoed. I only veto when I feel really strongly about it!
(But I feel grateful to other bloggers not showing the same restraint – especially Blue Boy has shown some excellent veto judgment…)
Only pulling your leg, Locust. Please veto away!
I am afraid I’m a real wuss when it comes to vetoing. I can always see redeeming virutes in the worst films.
@kaisfatdad, I have a cunning plan for preventing this thread from eating the whole internet.
Why don’t we just say the answer is anything with Alastair Sim in it and leave it at that?
Veto on the ban on the pre-emptive veto.
All this way and no mention of Gregory’s Girl or Blade Runner?
It’s late, I moved house today and have had a few beers…
Of the films I have noticed above, Local Hero and Aliens are surely beyond reproach.
Gregory’s Girl is up there. I think I’ll exercise my veto on Blade Runner though, as I’ve tried several times but have never been able to get on with it.
Three inexplicable omissions:
The Searchers
Hellzapoppin
Casablanca.
This is a hell of a long list so far. Not necessarily my favourite films but ones I can’t imagine anyone here not liking:
Shrek
Casablanca
Coal Miners Daughter
Veto Coal Miners Daughter. Sissy Spacek far better than the subject deserves.
Veto Shrek. Absolute rubbish.
Big Hero 6.
Excellent film. Took the kids and we had the whole cinema to ourselves. Should have been much more successful.
It’s a belter, that film.
Pan’s Labyrinth
No Country For Old Men
Kung Fu Hustle
Our Neighbour Totoro
But hey, this is the Afterword. It’s got to be This Is Spinal Tap.
Great list.
The (original) Italian Job.
But for the existence of Spinal Tap, The Italian job would/should be the clear winner
Veto.
The Italian Job? Far too cocky and nostalgic and responsible for the whole Loaded culture. I wouldn’t watch it.
Isn’t that like saying Alan Moore is crap because of all the “grim’n’gritty” rubbish that came in his wake?
Although I’m not saying it’s crap (I don’t think it is), in some sense you are right – it can’t be held responsible for what comes after, of course.
Let me rephrase – “…and I can’t disassociate it from the whole Loaded culture that drew its inspiration from it”.
But I don’t rate it that highly on its own merits, either.
I’m pleased to see that no one has nominated Citizen Kane as it’s vastly overrated and I would have to veto it.
After almost three hundred posts and I didn’t see……. Twelve Angry Men
I dunno about a dozen, but there are one or two who are struggling with the concept that other people might not like their personal faves….
Well played that man. Are you here all week ?
Yep! Don’t forget to tip your waitress…
Con Air.
Haha! Yes. And The Rock.
I also have a massive soft spot for the ridiculousness that is Armageddon. None more Bay / Bruckheimer.
Armageddon is a piece of dreck and The Rock is not much better. Veto to both.
However, Con Air is a work of warped genius. ‘Put the bunny back in the box.’
They’re all shit, obviously, but they’re such fun.
As far as I can see no one has mentioned Tavernier masterpiece, Round Midnight, one of the best films ever made about jazz. With a soundtrack to die for.
What about “A Hard Day’s Night”?
Another film I can watch time and time again.
It’s such a great film, capturing the youthful optimism of the 60s and its stuffed full of great songs.
And The Beatles look so chuffing cool!
What’s not to like?
Veto. It’s fine as a bit of memorabilia but you have to be a raving Beatles fan to like it in 2017, and as an actual film it’s not honestly much cop.
A reluctant veto, because I prefer Help!
Vetoing Help.
What’s wrong with you people? The answer is obvious and perfect for The Afterword.
Groundhog Day.
Andie McDowell might be a problem, if you hadn’t noticed.
Yeah – she is the fly in the otherwise perfect ointment, isn’t she? Although I could see why Bill Murray keeps killing himself – imagine an eternity with her. Although the film’s whole raison d’etre could be the challenge of skilling yourself up to make a future liveable with her by your side.
What’s wrong with you people? The answer is obvious and perfect for The Afterword.
Groundhog Day.
That!
The Afterword: BuzzFeed for Misanthropes
Surely even the most miserable veto-spewing humbugger would have to admit to having enjoyed The Naked Gun?
I’m having a Captain America: The Winter Soldier morning. I’m 10 mins in and realised I’ve been smiling constantly since it started. Love this movie.
Sorry old bean, have to veto this. Saw it at the cinema and found my mind wandering throughout most of the second half. Not my cuppa.
I was loving this right up until the nonsense with Hydra. Lost me with the computerised Toby Jones.
Good fun and Civil War is even better!
Veto Civil War. Another yawnfest.
Avengers
Guardians
Shocked and amazed (or maybe I missed it) that no one has mentioned…
Back to the future.
Probably the most perfect film script ever written.
I get the concept, and I can understand why it is/was popular, but not for me.
There are bits that are great (the Johnny B Goode bit, just about any time Christopher Lloyd is on screen), but it’s all a bit Quantum Leap (which hadn’t been invented yet), cheesy, saccharine.
And it had a Sticker book attached to it – any film that has a sticker book attached to it should be immediately excluded on the grounds of over-zealous marketing and racketeering
The Conversation.
“He’d veto us if he could”
Back to the future is a superb choice.
Here are a few of my favourites, entering the arena to face the Veto Velociraptors.
Still Life (Uberto Pasolini)
Almost Famous
Howl’s Moving Castle
Assault on Precint 13 (the Carpenter original of course)
Pride
It happened one night
Singing in the Rain
Italian for beginners
Chinatown
Il ladro di bambini (The Stolen Children)
Together
The Tin Drum
Intouchablles
Toni Erdmann
Human Capital
Boy (Taika Waititi)
Orphee (Cocteau)
Little Miss Sunshine
8 ½
And finally, Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (one film at least on this thread that is safe from the Moosian Veto!)
Pride is an excellent, under-recognised, movie.
Vetoing Almost Famous. It’s shit.
I immediately veto Pride. I never understood the love for that movie. Stereotype city.
Good call on Almost Famous though. Lovely film.
If this were a movie, we’d now have to end up together, Gary.
At a Big Wednesday, Apocalypto, Boyhood triple bill, presumably.
You had me at Big Wednesday…
Infernal Affairs – probably the greatest cop movie ever made, and so much better than The Departed that it’s not even funny
Hero – brilliantly choreographed fighting and luminous cinematography
Wolf Children – one of my favourite animated movies, about the contrast and pull between urban and rural
Wood Job – utterly charming feelgood comedy from Japan
Still Walking – Koreeda directs the most well-observed family dramas, and this is his masterpiece
Anybody said The Matrix yet? It’s brilliant fun. Such a shame they never thought to make any sequels
Goodbye Lenin – the feelgood flipside of The Lives Of Others
Tremors – there has never been a better film about giant monsters under the ground that eat people
I know it’s going to get vetoed, but I’m also going to say Pacific Rim. Any objections you may have about any aspect of that movie are easily outweighed by the spectacle of giant robots smashing the crap out of giant monsters, sometimes with a ship.
Braindead – the funniest zombie movie ever, basically a live action Tom & Jerry cartoon. And the soundtrack was composed by an Afterworder, so veto it at your peril, you monster!
I will personally veto all suggestions by anyone who vetoes Pac Rim.
I’m vetoing it. More an internal training video for the World Trade Organisation’s China/USA Committee than an actual movie. Big robots though.
Well, now I just want to hear you explain what you think the WTO actually does…
The director of Braindead also made the Lord Of The Rings adaptations – they must be in with a shout? I do worry that the nasty taste of the subsequent Hobbit films has robbed LOTR of some of the kudos it is still very much entitled to.
Veto on all LOTR films. Self important and dull. The Tales from Topographic Oceans of cinema.
And that’s bad?
Going to have to veto the Lord of the Rings trilogy I’m afraid. Po faced tedium.
I didn’t like the first one much, went to see the second as I thought I might have been in a bad mood because of a heavy cold when I saw the first but fell asleep (the only time I have ever done that in a cinema, and I don’t recall being particularly tired – just bored). I haven’t seen the third but I see it has already been multiply vetoed.
Three, maybe four times I’ve tried to watch The Matrix and I’ve either given up or fallen asleep. My wife thinks it’s brilliant though.
The Matrix is great. The sequel has a couple of decent scenes, but the third is incomprehensible cack.
But the rave scene in Revolutions is one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.
For anyone who likes the Matrix: please, please, please watch Jupiter Ascending. It’s one of the funniest films I’ve ever seen, and includes a fantastic talking normally THEN SUDDENLY SHOUTING performance from Eddie Redmayne.
Some solace for those getting favourites shot down
I’ve been on a bit of a veto-spree so I had better nominate one… off the top of my head and from my comfort films pile, I see no one has nominated Wonder Boys. So, Wonder Boys.
Veto Wonder Boys.
Howsabout the James Bond series?
A single film choice would be Diamonds Are Forever.
Best Bond = Roger Moore
My vote would be for Spy Who Loved Me – less wiggy than Diamonds and it’s got Rog in!
Veto ALL Bond films. Utter tripe the lot of them.
But wouldn’t that be a generic genre veto, the sort outlawed under the rules?
Bond films aren’t technically a genre in their own right, I guess.
A sufficiently large sub-genre to qualify for protected status.
Nah, they’re a franchise, not a sub-genre. And if several people have seen and hate them all, why should they be protected?
I’ll veto them one by one if I have to.
Sorryu Jim, that’s akin to vetoing a whole genre. O07 is still in the game.
The same goes for a blanket vero on all Toklien adaåtations and Star Wars movies.
The Force is still with us.
Hmmmm… I sense a finger on the scales here.
Finger on the scales, my arse.
I have got Lord Vaders fingers tightly round my throat. If I allow a veto on the Star Wars series, I will be on the first transport out of here to the prison planet of Moosiania where I will be forced to watch B movies daily for the rest of my useless existence.
Lord Vader doesn’t need to put his fingers round your throat, he can kill you with a single thought.
No blanket LOTR veto, you say?
Very well: I didn’t want to have to resort to this but you leave me no choice.
The Fellowship of the Ring – veto
The Two Towers – veto
The Return of the King – veto
Can I just veto every film where David Bowie makes an appearance on the basis that he is uniformly appalling and any film rendered so by his presence. There is no blanket vero rules and then D Bowie films.
The Hunger is pretty good.
I am agree.
That would exclude The Prstige, which would just be wrong. Bowie is even pretty good in it.
Pretty good is a ringing endorsement. You mean “not as bad as usual” I assume?
Well, yes. I’m not suggesting that he steals the film or anything, but he does a perfectly good job in a small but important role.
As explained above, Bond is a franchise not a genre. I’ll veto them all individually if necessary.
I veto all Bond films. Establishment-pandering wank fantasies for adolescent boys of any age.
Wasn’t that the Daily Mirror review for the re-released (“re-imagined?”) Casino Royale
That’s actually the one Bond film I’ve quite liked in the last thirty years.
Excellent – Spy Who Loved Me escapes the 30 year embargo!
I’d like to briefly nominate (before it’s vetoed in a heartbeat) Austin Powers – The Spy Who Shagged Me.
No veto – although if I’m honest “International Man of Mystery” was the better film
Ah, the last thirty years of me watching them, I’m afraid, which means any and all that happened to be on telly at any time after 1987 or so.
I do vaguely remember having a Dinky-type model of the car from The Spy Who Loved Me. That was good, at the time.
White Lotus Esprit – that became a submarine (sort of – fins popped out of the bodywork when you pressed the front bumper)
White Lotus Esprit – that was the opening track on Led Zep II, wasn’t it?
I feel a Partridge style rage brewing……. The Spy Who Loved Me escapes veto because of THAT scene that Alan describes so beautifully “bit of bush….”
The only Bond films that should be on the list are Goldfinger, Live and Let Die and Skyfall.
Veto all three.
Well, if Bond is out – and I’d put up a vote for each of Spy who loved me, Goldfinger and Casino Royale – then what about Ipcress File? Harry Palmer is no establishment stooge, looks cool in glasses and there is that great tear up next to the phone box.
Has anyone mentioned Moon or Midnight Run?
Little Miss Sunshine.
Veto! It’s Kooky and all right minded people should detest Kooky.
I fail to see how anyone could not be thrilled and charmed by Spirited Away. An extra-ordinary achievement.
A Room For Romeo Brass
Great call. Excellent film.
Also stuck Local Hero on the list, it’s a long scroll down or up! And fortunately has been left unscathed, as to veto It would be like killing off an injured rabbit
Is it worthwhile calling a vet?
At well over 400 posts & my working all weekend leaving me too tired/can’t be arsed to check all posts, I don’t know if Local hero has been put forward yet, but if it has not, can I propose it please.
Go on, I’ll chuck in another one – The Untouchables. “He vetoes one of yours, you um, veto one of his in the, um…”
May well have all been mentioned/vetoed above, but..
Billy Liar
Grosse Pointe Blank
Gregory’s Girl
Diva
It’s A Wonderful Life
Tokyo Story
Christiane F
Jules et Jim
Taken
The Man Who Knew Too Much
Taken is awful! Veto.
And isn’t Christiane F subject to the Bowie ban above? Grim fare anyway…
I’d just like to get ahead of the curve on the inevitable Film Everyone Hates thread (we do like hating don’t we. This is just a hate thread really). The answer is ” Peter’s Friends”, really the most atrocious film ever.
Veto.
This confirms my theory that you have a vetobot which automatically vetoes everyone’s posts. I think there should be a limited number of vetoes, say 3, to stop vexatious vetoing. Feel free to veto this suggestion.
That would be an excellent idea, if people were limited to disliking three films each in real life.
Tango & Cash is the worst film ever. It’s been scientifically proven. I’d show you the working but my lab book is in the attic.
Not seen it but taking you at your word, if it really is worse than PF I don’t want to either!
Favourites that I don’t think have been mentioned yet:
Memento
Whatever Happened To Baby Jane?
Arsenic and Old Lace
Freaks
The Big Blue
Get Shorty
Veto Memento and Get Shorty.
Double veto on get shorty.
Veto De Vito!
I’m very fond of Harvey (the film, that is; not a random bloke called Harvey).
Next time you watch it, keep your eyes on Josephine Hull in every scene she’s in. Every gesture, facial expression, even the way she walks, is a work of comedic genius. She’s so good that she makes me love a film starring Jimmy Stewart…and that’s very difficult!
The whole ensemble is great, but Josephine is the shining star.
Whoah there. I love Harvey too, but I’m having trouble with the suggestion that you don’t like Jimmy Stewart…
It does seem odd, since I’ve nominated not one, but two films with him in the lead role!
He acted in a lot of wonderful films, but I always find him a little annoying. Not annoying enough to spoil those films, however!
I may be wrong but there appears to be a Trading Places shaped hole in the list.
Ditto Coming to America. And Bowfinger. And Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. And Father of the Bride.
Vetoes on Dirty Rotten Scoundrels and Father of the Bride, both on Steve Martin grounds – in one he’s creepy and squirmy, in the other he’s creepy and squirmy with a heavy incest vibe. Not good.) I’m not wild about the other two either, but if you must …
The incest vibe is my favourite thing about the FOTB remakes! He’s clearly in love with his own daughter, and completely ignores his son throughout.
That said, my vote about was for the original, Spencer Tracy, FOTB. I sense that I am alone in my love for the Steve Martin/Steve Guttenberg version.
Fair enough – I haven’t seen the original. Father of the Bride stands.
Have you – ahem – seen Father of the Bride part 2?
No, I thought that would a Bridge too far.
Oh great, now you’ve corrected the typo so my joke doesn’t work any more!
Just change it to “a bride too far”. Still works!
*cough*
Nominating Father of the Bride part 2.
(it may have already been mentioned, and maybe even vetoed)
Ferris Buellers Day Off
Oh yeah
Dr. Strangelove
The Usual Suspects
Veto. Partly because the movie is overrated, but partly because Bryan Singer.
Veto seconded solely on the grounds of the deranged miscasting of Pete Postlethwaite as a Japanese. WT actual F?
Embarrassingly bad. A blight upon his otherwise-immaculate film resumé.
Whatever Happened To The Likely Lads
No film of that title. The spin-off movie was simply called The Likely Lads.
Does anyone dislike The Man Who Would Be King?
Or The Year of Living Dangerously?
The Man Who Would Be King is brilliant, but I didn’t like The Year of Living Dangerously. Boring. (Good soundtrack though). Want some Mel?
Gallipoli
Apocalypto
And how about some Shakey?
Richard III
Romeo + Juliet
Apocalypto! Now we’re talking.
You can have Gallipoli, but I veto Apocalypto. That’s part pf the Mad Mel phase and therefore automatically binned.
TYOLD is slow, but I didn’t think boring.
Oh come on. Have you actually seen Apocalypto?
Magnificent movie. If we’re going to start vetoing because of unpleasant talent then I suspect very few movies will squeeze through to a final list.
I did. It just didn’t do anything for me.
Fair enough!
Oh Brother Where Art Thou?
Once Upon a Time in America
El Dorado or Rio Bravo (essentially the same film)
Veto for Oh Brother Where Art Thou. You could have any number of Coen Brothers films but I found this own a bore and a huge disappointment.
Zardoz – it’s got everything!
Sean Connery in a nappy IIRC?
Veto for that alone!
This is getting silly now
Bugsy Malone!
A few to throw in
Heat
The Long Goodbye
Parallax View
Night Moves
The Secret in their Eyes
The Thin Man
The Wild Bunch
and I am staggered this has not been mentioned yet:
Get Carter
Have an Up for The Secret in their eyes, the first Argentinian film to get a mention.
I’m going to have a Brazilian.
Black Orpheus, which took the world by storm in 1959 and has a soundtrack to die for.
And talking of fab soundtracks, how have we forgotten the coolest dude on the planet?
Shaft, John Shaft! Can you dig it?
There ain’t no mook in the Big Apple who would dare veto him.
A few more to be considered.
The Fortune Cookie.
Missing.
Letter to Brezhnev.
Au revoir les enfants
The 400 blows (or Les quatre cents coups, if you prefer).
Team America
Borat
Ooh, I hated Borat almost as much as Bruno. I just can’t stand films which deliberately make you squirm, so that’s a veto. Team America is an absolute joy though.
Team America
F**k yeah!
I’m very late to this thread, but a quick Ctrl + F tells me that no-one has yet mentioned Ghostbusters. Astonishing.
I’ve never done Ctrl + F. Brilliant! Thanks.
And a great choice too.
How come no-one’s mentioned Escape to Victory eh?
Ctrl+F. What a great movie that was. Only decent thing Ronnie Corbett ever did.
I’m going to veto Ghostbusters, I’m afraid. I saw it again recently and I don’t think it’s weathered well. In particular Bill Murray’s pursuit of Sigourney Weaver now strikes a discordant note.
12 Angry Men
High Fidelity
The French Connection
Good Will Hunting
Airplane!
24 Hour Party People
Strangers on a Train
Dog Day Afternoon
Bullitt
Shining
Jabberwocky
A Clockwork Orange
The Gold Rush
Metropolis
The Guard
A Fish Called Wanda
If…
It takes forever to scroll so has anyone put forward ‘Chitty Chitty Bang Bang’?
Or ‘Where Eagles Dare’?
You’re darn tootin’ it does, Bri! 550 comments – maybe it’s time to start part two collecting all the films as yet unvetoed.
Purely to lessen the workload: I will veto A Clockwork Orange.
Something’s got to be done about these extra long threads. But what? Do we have a navigator on board?
I have already started making a list of all the films vetoed and all the films unvetoed,
There are one or two!
I will try and the list published in the next 24 hours and then we can move on to Stage 2.
On the positive side, it is wonderful that the AW is so keen about the art of cinema.
Please do not post any new choices on this thread. It’s got rather long.
There is now a sequel: