Reading that Facebook roll call on the FB Afterworders and then the long thread discussing the FB Afterworders post has been a weird experience. Can’t say I find naming names very edifying, referring to people as the greatest bores ever, trolls…
Anyway, as coincidence will have it, I got an email from Burt/HP alerting me to a new page he has set up to keep himself busy.
As with all his stuff, his satire will appeal to some and not to others.
mikethep says
Ahem (on the other great blogs thread).
We’ve both done our duty, anyhow…
salwarpe says
Yes, but comparing thread titles, there’s no way my little plea (already on the second page now) will get the same clicks as something directly mentioning Burt…
Junior Wells says
Well Sal , you need a subbie.
salwarpe says
*ow*
(tbh, I like the sound of my inner voice too much, so that would probably be a good thing)
Junior Wells says
Sorry for the duplicate Mike
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Posted the link on Moose’s Fagen thread the other day. Excellent writing as ever (and Burt’s isn’t bad other)
Lodestone of Wrongness says
ps I didn’t receive an email from him – instead it was a hand-written note delivered by a rather attractive young man called Ishmael…
Mike_H says
Are you sure it was an attractive young man, Lodey.
They can be pretty gender-flexible out there in the land of the Mekong.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Didn’t care, he/she was polite and very, very willing to please
Moose the Mooche says
Ishmael? He’s come a long way. Shoo him off sharpish – if you aren’t careful he’ll scrimshaw your gnomes.
Junior Wells says
Ok so every bastard on the blog got it!
Tiggerlion says
No. Just ‘the members of the clique’
😉
Junior Wells says
🤔does that mean I’M IN !!!!!🕺🏻🍾
Tiggerlion says
Indeed it does, Junior. Congratulations!
fentonsteve says
*Boring*
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Not sure about some the other pieces but the DF post was quite simply brilliant. IMHO of course
Diddley Farquar says
DF? David Furnish? Can’t think of any other DFs.
Junior Wells says
Solstice On Seventh Avenue
fentonsteve says
I jest, of course, but this is an example of the AW eating itself. There are no star posters.
Diddley Farquar says
There was Brian Cox’s wife. That was W rather than AW though I believe.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Whoever said “star posters” was a fool, a knave and most probably drunk. Mind you Burt can’t half write, right?
Twang says
Great stuff. But@fentonsteve is right.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
I beg to differ, there’s Lodestone and whatsisname and that bird who goes round car boots and that boring one who can answer all your techie questions and the guy with the driving gloves and, best of all, Gary. My case is won. Oh, and then there’s Moose – bugger, my case just fell apart…
Moose the Mooche says
Snibbet!
Tahir W says
I think you nailed it though
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Forgot Gatz, funniest guy (after Gary) on the internet (after HP) (and of course, me)
Lodestone of Wrongness says
And Junior is definitely a star and that Twang guy is pretty good and so is Retro. There are some completely bonkers ones as well mind – “Yes, The First Hundred Years” etc
Junior Wells says
Cheque is in the mail Lodes.
retropath2 says
@retro-man will be delighted
H.P. Saucecraft says
Well, gee! Thanks … I think. I wouldn’t want all my fan at the Afterword to miss the post dedicated to this lively online community – https://falsememoryfoam.blogspot.com/2019/04/rsd-special.html
(Note the comment by another Golden Age Legacy Afterword Contributor)
Junior Wells says
I resent the mocking of Chirpy Chirpy Cheep Cheep ( Chirpy to the cognoscenti), it’s may go to auto pilot, mindless singalong , whistle along.
Vulpes Vulpes says
Burthp’s false memory is fab, it’s like the Hidden Treasure feature in Mojo mag before they ran out of steam. Only better.
H.P. Saucecraft says
I’ve been lurking on this thread in the hope that some brave soul would stand on the tumbril and raise his clear voice to speak the truth – speak it simply, from the heart, and shame the pitchfork-wielding throng into silence. Thank you, Foxy … I’m a … forgive me … little bit emotional right now … *snurfle* …
I shall graciously take my leave, heartened that there are yet stout yeomen of England – honest, horny-handed sons of the soil – who are unafraid to [that’s enough – Ed.]
Vulpes Vulpes says
Yeah, right. I’m more flummoxed by how one is supposed to pronounce “Burthp”.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Throw a can of fizzy drink down your neck, punch your chest with a balled fist. Works for me.
retropath2 says
The lengths people will go to get back in the comforting bosom of the blog, eh? And I today learnt the Huffington Post is but a smokescreen from @rob-c , awaiting our notice and a mention. Like vampires, the flounced (the unboring?) need recognition to cross the portals one more.
H.P. Saucecraft says
The further I am from the comforts of your bosom, Mr. Path, the happier I am. Nothing personal.
(Rob C is preparing a piece for FalseMemoryFoam© on the ley lines connecting Poundsaver outlets in the East Midlands.)
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Ishmael is wondering if it’s safe to go back home yet? He’s looking a bit tired
Moose the Mooche says
After looking into the cold, evil eye of that huge white devil beast, Ishmael can never go home.
Junior Wells says
If the further from the comforts of the blog the happier you are, it begs the question HP.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Go on, then.
chiz says
How many songs that sound a little bit like Beatles’ songs can you name? We’re doing a list.
H.P. Saucecraft says
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! I know this! I SO know this! *jumps up and down on the spot, clapping hands like a girl*
Peanuts Molloy says
I can name 732.
Peanuts Molloy says
Damn! I forgot The Pinkees. 733.
Peanuts Molloy says
Shit! I forgot The Pleasers. 734.
Peanuts Molloy says
Farq! I forgot The Quarrymen. 735.
Junior Wells says
Even though you know my point, are you back or just here to promote your new blog ?
H.P. Saucecraft says
Am I “back”? I’m a bit baffled, frankly, Junes … someone sent me a link to this thread and I assumed it was the only one on the blog … there’s another?
But yes, I suppose I am here to “promote” my blog, but not in the way I remember other Afterword contributors promoted their work, in order to sell something. As always, I’m giving stuff away, for nothing. Nada. So if that needs “promoting”, it’s worked out very well. Costs you zip, Junes. A bunch of free music and bantz aplenty. According to my blogger stats thingie, page views have about doubled since your very generous (er … I think) piece, spiking at eleven or twelve a day. Doubles all round!
Junior Wells says
Well I for one and happy to see you back HP. Lot of words on that Fake Memory Foam blog. I have to concentrate on my reading.
H.P. Saucecraft says
… and I’m very happy to see comments from ‘tworders over at FMF©. Everybody welcome!
Gary says
Thank you.
And have you noticed that the bit at the top of each comment where it says the time of the comment (for example, “at 14.28”) is now in blue, rather than grey as it was back in your day? On the ‘Updates’ page this makes the time of comment less distinguishable from the title of the thread, leading to all manner of where-to-click confusion.
MC Escher says
I prefer his earlier, funnier stuff
SteveT says
Fuck, I must have missed that.
H.P. Saucecraft says
You just didn’t get it, Steve. Same thing, really!
MC Escher says
This is a line in one of Woody Allen’s “grown up” movies” (Stardust Memories, perhaps?). I thought it might raise a wry smile.
MC Escher says
He was good in Twin Peaks tho
Tony Japanese says
This is great material, but I’m worried my memory is just playing tricks on me. I’m sure I’ve read that interview with Roger Waters somewhere before.
H.P. Saucecraft says
You probably read it twice, Tony, because you couldn’t believe anything could be so good. Then you forgot you read it again.
Black Celebration says
At this rate HPSaucecraft might qualify for a rare “Hamper By Proxy in Absentia”. The only other one was awarded to Middlerabbit, who send it back to the Aspistra & Hatstand unopened but with a note attached about Cold Turkey going down in the charts.
Junior Wells says
Is that anything like Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy ?
Mike_H says
Spank the Monkey by Proxy
Sniffity says
2HP by Proxy Music
fentonsteve says
Oh, very good. Have an AW chequebook and pen(cil).
Junior Wells says
@Sniffity. Excellent.
Black Celebration says
Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy should be said in John Peel’s voice.
*Decades* before “Three more from them later…” my great-laff mates and I would say in a Peel voice “and now in the studio we have a session from …”. if we came across an indie-band sounding thing.
chiz says
Well this thread currently has half as many comments and twice as many views as the ‘Let’s list all the songs that have guitars and harmonies in them’ thread, meaning that despite his long absence HP is still officially FOUR TIMES more attuned to the tastes of Afterword audience than Tiggerlion. Bravo, Saucers!
Moose the Mooche says
1300? Fake views!
retropath2 says
And the ironic thing is that I don’t even like Jim Carrey but it’s a good idea, an experiment whereby thirty odd, very odd, dudes, give or take, sit around thinking they entertain themselves alone, whereas…… Are we on Netflix?
Moose the Mooche says
Pinkerton does not return.
No wait… here he is.
H.P. Saucecraft says
As I gaze out of the mullioned gambrel window of this great old house at the pounding gray surf, stretching to an indistinct horizon, hideously suggestive of the altered geometry described in the arcane writings of The Mad Arab Alhazred – a volume of which rests open at my elbow – I weaken at the prospect of recounting the fatal expedition undertook – in all innocence! – by Professors Beacham, O’Stroud – both emiritus at Miskatonic University – and myself, then a callow youth unrecognizable from the dread image in the mirror I dare not contemplate – but recount I must, in the hope that these words may deter others from following in our path! Even now, a ship is being prepared at Innsmouth in spite of my passionate imprecations to abandon this foolhardy enterprise that can only result in the portal between this world and the Old Ones being re-opened – and the eldritch Yog Sothoth awakened from his primordial slumber!
Black Celebration says
This is Boris Johnson’s acceptance speech isn’t it?
H.P. Saucecraft says
I have no idea. You know when you go into a room and realise you haven’t a clue why? That’s what happened with my comment. I thought I had an idea, but … why am I here?
What I really want to talk about is FaceApp©. It’s causing welcome waves of sobbing hilarity in Thailand (where the selfie is the national sport), and I’ve swapped images with Archie Valparaiso and we’ve both burst our catheters. Have any of you tried it? Apparently you can change sex too, but that’s nothing unusual in Siam – whereas growing old is.
chiz says
Call me male-ish
MC Escher says
You win the internet todaym BC. ROFLcopters a go go
Black Celebration says
Which is my aw-gee-shucks way of saying that it’s good to see you here again.
Lodestone of Wrongness says
Call me Ishmael. Or should that be “Call me, Ishmael”?
hubert rawlinson says
‘Call me Ishmael, but if a woman answers hang up’
H.P. Saucecraft says
Ron an’ Rush Mael ,,, out of Shparksh. Wankersh.
hubert rawlinson says
Or call me Ron Mael
H.P. Saucecraft says
*hic*