Most of my adult life I have worked shifts. When I was younger (up until my mid 40s), I coped with this without any serious problems, but when my wife passed away shortly before my 45th birthday I asked my doctor for & was prescribed sleeping pills.
At first they did the trick, but I found that they became a way of shutting away the bad things in my life.
One consequence of living 150 miles from my nearest family/friends was that I made some appalling financial decisions & as a result I will probably have to continue to work even after I become due my state pension which is currently due to be paid in about 14 months.
No complaints, I should have thought a little more & spent a lot less & perhaps things may have panned out differently – hey ho, 20/20 hindsight & all that.
Not sure how to really describe my problem, but I do feel that just confessing/putting it out there (here) may be the best thing.
I think I have managed to get myself addicted to sleeping pills. I get them from 2 people who are prescribed them but don’t use them & they give them to me.
This has been the way for several years now, & before that I was eating high strength nytol like they were sweets.
Part of me wants to go to my GP & put my hands up, but I am really scared of the consequences both medically & legally.
The thought of running out of them gives me real concern & I genuinely don’t know what to do.
Sorry for the rambling & incoherent nature of this post.
I would really appreciate any/ all advice.
Mods – if you think this is inappropriate then I would be happy if you decide to remove/delete this post.
Jack, it seems to me that the very first person to whom you should turn is precisely your GP – it is their role to facilitate turning things around for you, not to lambast you for the uncomfortable circumstances you’ve found yourself in! Take their advice, follow their guidance and grasp the opportunity with both hands to end your entrapment. Easier said than done, I know, but really, no-one is better placed to help you steer your way to calm waters than your GP.
Hi
If you have reservations about approaching your GP, I’d suggest that you consider contacting your local community addiction team. I’m sure they would be well placed to offer you some non-judgemental advice and support (they might even liaise with your GP on your behalf).
It’s very easy to slip into a dependency (be it with alcohol,/illicit substances, cigarettes, coffee, prescription drugs etc) and it sounds like you’ve got an awful lot on your plate at the moment.
I’m sure your GP would be sympathetic to your situation. Good luck, be brave and make the call.
Hi Les
I can only agree with the comments above. I don’t think you need to worry about legal consequences – there won’t be any. If your GP is someone to whom you can talk, that’s got to be option one. I’m sure it won’t be easy – but with the right help, I’m sure you can turn this around.
Yup. You won’t face any legal repercussions. I doubt you’ve even committed any offence, but nobody would be interested in pursuing it even if you had. You’ll be offered help. That’s it. Make the appointment, and Godspeed.
Hi Jack, us men for many reasons and with many excuses too easily put off seeing our GP. A lump, an ache, a lack of power in our piss, a bloody poo the list goes on. We’re taught from an early age to man up, don’t fuss, get on with it. With your naval career behind you I’m sure that is even more engrained. That call to your GP will be the first step on your road to recovery. I have a couple of examples where they have helped me, either putting my mind at rest or finding and fixing a problem. Make it the first thing you do on Monday morning. Youve faced worse, you won’t regret it. Dave x
I finally had ultrasound and xray of several fingers yesterday, after nearly 18 months of excruciating pain. My excuse the Doctor? “I was just waiting to see if they got better!”. He then held up my finger that has a fungal infection of the nail and raised his eyebrows. “17 years!” I said. I was sent on my way with a script and a referral feeling much better for it.
Jack, I can only repeat the advice that others here have given and strongly recommend seeing your doctor. They will be non-judgemental and know the best course of action. I genuinely wish you all the best with this and am glad that you felt comfortable enough to discuss it on this forum. I think that strongly indicates that you are ready for action.
As they say, with the proviso that you don’t have to accept the first opinion given; there are other Drs in most practices and other practices in most towns of any size. Sure, they will want you to get off ’em, as, I suspect (hope?) do you, but it is slow and not always easy.
What they said. The services will only want to help you and having made the move to post this you can do it. It takes a lot more strength to ask for help than drift on. Fingers crossed brother.
Jack, first & foremost I’d say how sorry I am to learn of your situation & urge you not to beat yourself up about it, but recognise that you’ve taken the most important step of all – acknowledging the issue & seeking a way out.
As others more informed than me have said, there are paths forward & they don’t involve shaming you because of a situation not of your making. Millions of people resort to all kinds of coping mechanisms to circumstances beyond their control – and there is help available to people in a pickle when it’s become a problem.
It takes courage to spill your guts about stuff & I’m certain you can get this sorted, even though it’ll be tough I’ve no doubt.
You’re amongst friends here, so I’m sure everyone else as well as me will wish you the absolute best in slaying the dragon. You can definitely do it!
You’ve been through all of that and are only mildly addicted to some pills. You’re made of strong stuff, but you don’t have to be. Ask for help, you’ll be amazed how much is available. You will be fine.
See above. All sound advice. I’ve been a clinical psychologist for decades, and exclusively worked with drug users for 6 years before that. Many people move on, and being honest to themselves is a great first step. You seem to be quite frank about your difficulties. The advice from The Massive is spot on; the GP is the gatekeeper, there are services out there that can help. If you want to change, you can, and many do. Find distractions and things to soothe yourself to undermine any cravings till you can reset your receptors. There’s a psychiatrist in the Massive Manor who is around sometimes, and maybe they can advise, too.
Jack, I can only echo the above. I really think your GP should be your first port of call.
You have accepted/admitted to yourself, and now to a group of relative strangers.
I have always found GPs (rarely do I see the same Doctor in my local surgery) to be both sympathetic and supportive.
Rooting for you and hope you can get on a path to sorting it.
When I told my GP that I’m addicted to codeine, after my health issues, she said I’m entitled to be. Just wanted to add this. Your GP is human.
A really important post Jack – you are a hero for sharing. This – and Niall’s post yesterday- are really positive reasons for keeping a group like this going.
A few years ago a whole bunch of us had a collective 50th birthday get together over several days. It’s a group of (mostly) men and we’ve all known each other since school days. The first day was pretty much wall-to-wall laughter and silly stuff. From day 2 onwards we started to have deeper one-to-one conversations. Suffice to say you are not alone, not at all. It feels like you are alone because all of this stuff is always internalised and it always looks like everyone else is functioning fine. We are all “fooling the public” in various degrees and this is natural human behaviour.
I am sure your GP (if it’s someone you are comfortable with) will assist you and will know what the best course of action is which is in all probability a referral to a specialist.
You’ve done nothing wrong, Jack. Other than be a human being.
Go to your GP. You’ll receive nothing but help.
Jack, I have a chum who is now a GP but started out in A&E. If he’s any kind of a yard stick, your GP will also have seen a lot worse than you! Honestly, you have nothing to worry about.
The worst part is acknowledging there is a problem. Be strong, and good luck. We’re here for you.
Hats off to you for writing this post, Jack. That took guts.
I too will be keeping my fingers crossed for you and hoping that everything goes well when you contact your GP. It is all going to go well.
“You are among friends.”
Gosh! That really does sum this place up rather well.
Been pretty close to something similar myself. It it controls you rather than the other way around seek help. There is plenty out there and it is a sign of strength to do so. You have made the first step by confiding in us here.
As I said on Niall’s thread, I wish we could all be this honest.
You’ve fessed to yourself/us… this is a big step . Now you are in control, believe it or not. Get to your GP and tell him/her what you’ve told us – you would not believe the shit they hear every hour of their working day. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Even if you have, it’s your health – that’s his/her job.
Rock on, Jack Good luck. Keep us posted.🤘
I think it’s really brave of you Jack to talk about this. Contemplating change is a big deal. I wish you all the best, suspect a chat with your GP is the right move and there is no reason not to do this now (or there abouts).
Adding my voice to the chorus: an honest, very brave post, and yes, see your, or any doctor and they will point you towards help. You don’t deserve to feel like this, and you don’t need to. Great first step, take the next one.
Nothing is scarier than asking for help, but the reward for doing so is unlimited. The relief of letting go of your secret, getting the help from experts to safely free you from your problem, and the help from friends to free you from your sense of shame and get you through the tough times, and in the long run the benefits to your health and peace of mind.
Just go for it, it’s worth fighting for, even if it won’t be easy. Good luck!
Well done for posting Jack, like others have said, that must have taken guts.
My own experience was deciding to come off Sertraline completely independently after a few years of being on a fairly high dose. Ridiculously, I just stopped. It was a stupid move and a disaster, and I wish I’d taken GP advice as it nearly cost me my marriage, not to mention my sanity. I had to go back on it to withdraw properly.
Please see your GP, or as someone else wisely said, your Community Addiction Team. Good luck.
Posting/ talking about my problems here is something that I have done many times before, &, FWIIW, I find this place to be a form of comfort blanket for me, I find that bringing something up in this parish of ours is a good way of testing the water.
So, firstly & most importantly thank you all for the concern, messages of support & advice.
I am going to try & pluck up the courage to ring my GP this coming week, but knowing full well that saying I will do something is not the same as actually doing it.
It will come as no surprise that I waited a long time to bring myself to write my original post, but I am glad I did.
Without trying to blow smoke up your bottoms, I believe that this parish of ours is a force for good with such a wide range of backgrounds that the collective knowledge/experience makes it (to me), the go to place for advice on anything under the sun.
Anyway, my genie is out of the bottle now and my logical next step is going to see my GP, knowing me, there will almost certainly be some sitting on my hands before that happens, but I promise that I will do it & will keep y’all in the picture as to how things are going.
Again, thanks you all for the kind words of support.
What a wonderful place this little corner of the internet is…
👍👍👍
Jack do it sooner rather than later…even if it is a phone call consultation rather than a face to face meeting. These are much more common and available now following covid.
Wishing you well.
That’s what our bottoms are for, to have smoke blown up them. Er, I think…good man yourself for your post and good luck!
Good luck, my friend. As everyone says, you’ll be surprised how much help is out there, and how much people want to help. Do it this week. Asking for help will be hard but, after that, everything becomes easier.
Good luck. It’s an easy thing to happen.
And I’m another one who will have to work till I drop after not making for provision for the future. In all ways, you are not alone.
Good luck Jack.
We’re all rooting for you
Sending you all the best Jack. If you make that call I’m sure you’ll feel good for having made that first step – which is often the hardest. Good luck.
I’ve been taking prescription sleeping aids for over 10 years now – Trazodone.
I was up to 400mg at one stage, which a doctor thought was “a helluva lot”.
I realized that I was…relying upon them, and started an experiment. What was 4 pills a night became 3.5, then 3, and to the point I take 1. I haven’t yet mustered the nerve to pull the trigger on the remaining 1, because when I can’t sleep, I REALLY can’t sleep, and my mental health does better when I sleep.
I agree you should speak to someone – especially to know if you have a physiological addiction or psychological. That’s going to guide your next steps.
I wish you every success, and support.
My doctor prescribed me sleeping tablets about 10 years ago after I was diagnosed to have sleep apnea in order to help me to sleep with a mask on my face. I can still keep renewing the prescription now. Never been more than 1/2 or 1 pill a night and right now 30 pills can last me more than 6 months. I only take one when I am really desperate.
I would suggest to try Melatonin, an over the counter “natural” sleep aid. I find this can work for me and is doing much less damage to me hopefully than Zopiclone. Failing that I am finding a small dose of a (legal here) cannabis edible also helps. that may be harder to find in UK.
I don’t think you can get melatonin over the counter in the UK either.
You can’t. It can be prescribed in over 55s for sleep (or to ADHD kids by child psychs.)
Surprising. Also used to help with jetlag.
I know, having bought a supply last time I was in Walmart
No natural remedies have ever helped.
I’m so sorry to hear about you losing your wife so young. I would take the advice given so far by your brethren in the preceding comments. The only thing I would add as far as getting a good nights sleep in is to try a little indica. You don’t necessarily have to smoke it, maybe try an edible. All the best.
Jack. You’re a top man. Writing that took guts and (as ever round here) you’ve got sound great advice. I hope you get it sorted.
Address the worry head on and all the best. If you ever need a natter, shout.
An update (or not).
I have received several messages of support/concern from members of our parish & that has helped me far more than you could imagine.
What I am going to say is actually not much in the grand scheme of things WRT my problem, but hopefully you will understand.
My GP practice has a policy of not making any appointments without first discussing it with a receptionist.
There are no exceptions to this & that is what is holding me back, I simply cannot discuss this outside of the Doctors surgery, but I can’t find a way to get in.
All relatively minor you may think & in different circumstances I would probably think the same, but it is a reflection of my scrambled thinking that I am seeing it as a major problem.
Covid restrictions seem to be easing, so my plan is to wait & see if I can get an appointment in the nearish future & hopefully get the courage/resolve to open up to my GP, the problem with that of course is my overwhelming sense of shame & embarrassment.
As an addition to this, my general health is suffering, self inflicted (of course), as my guilt ridden binge eating has meant my weight has increased a lot.
Just talking about it here makes me feel so fucking useless.
Fucking useless you are not (well, not much anyway …)
You’ve said it (to a bunch of pixels on a screen), and you are looking to do something about it, and good on you. Hope it comes through for you.
All power to you – easy to say, but don’t beat yourself up too much (told you it was easy to say – I know from similar past experience, it is very difficult thing to do to keep oneself on the level).
Just talking about it can be (unconsciously) helpful safety valve
That’s a pretty hardcore policy your GP has. But if there’s no way round it, screw your courage to the sticking point, march in and yell, “I AM ADDICTED TO SLEEPING PILLS AND NEED HELP FROM MY DOCTOR.” That should do it. You have nothing to be embarrassed about, much less ashamed of.
Could you not discuss it with a receptionist on the phone? Our surgery has a similar policy and I heard one poor chap eventually say “I’ve got blood in my stools” while I was waiting for the blood pressure machine but he probably went in to make an appointment in person because it can be difficult to get through on the phone. I’m pretty sure I’ve made appointments by phone and all the receptionist wants to know is what it’s for and that it needs a doctor rather than the practice nurse. Good luck.
This strategy definitely works and I’ve used it myself (genuinely, as I have Crohn’s).
“We don’t have any appointments until next week”.
“But I’m shitting blood”
“Ah, I see. When can you come in?”
An alternative strategy Jack – tell the receptionist you have something else; back spasms, difficulty standing up / sitting down, a lump on your leg, a possible hernia. It should get you past the gatekeeper.
You lot are impossibly politely British.
In the States, my preferred tactic would have been to simply say “I have a medical problem and I want to see the doctor and not discuss it with you. If I don’t get an appointment because of this policy of speaking to a non-medical person, is it fair for me to assume that you will be taking on the liability for any problems that occur?”
I was having a lot of trouble with my insulin pump providers and paperwork that they had “never received”. That magic phrase suddenly discovered the paperwork/.
The man I heard with blood in his stools was told repeatedly that the receptionist had to know what it was for, poor chap. She just wouldn’t move until he told her, much to his embarrassment.
The receptionists just need a brief description. There have been people who died of a heart attack because they phoned for a GP appointment rather than an ambulance.
Try “insomnia” or “mental health”.
Don’t give up Jack. Ten o’clock is a good time to try again. The early rush has gone but the morning isn’t over yet.
Fingers crossed for you! ❤️
“Personal” works wherever I have worked, albeit usually pointing towards todger issues in the expectation of the Dr receiving said call.
Whatever slight of hand he used, I just hope jackthebiscuit managed to get to talk to the GP.
An update. Using a bit of subterfuge I managed to get a telephone appointment with a random GP at my practice – to speak to my GP of choice would have meant a 3 week wait & once I had got to the point where I could speak to a doctor, I thought taking the first available appointment was probably for the best.
The appointment went very well, that having been said, I got upset & tears were flowing, but having got to this stage I wasn’t that bothered about crying over the phone.
Short term he has put me on a low dosage of the tablets I have been taking & wants me to get back in touch with him in about 4 weeks.
I did not know that the tablets were predominantly anti depressants with a mild sedative.
During the course of the conversation/ consultation he said that he felt that perhaps my mental health issues were not being assessed properly & he also increased my dosage of sertraline – to be honest, the thought of taking more happy pills didn’t exactly cheer me up, but of course it is far better than my self medicating.
It feels very much like a weight has been lifted, & of course it is in the open now which can only be a good thing (right?).
So, tiny steps forward, & a long way to go.
My gratitude & thanks to all of you who have been kind enough to offer advice & sympathy (both here & DMs away from this site).
Before I go, I just want to say that throughout the writing of this post my heart has been in my mouth.
Thanks again, I really am not worthy.
Fingers crossed for you that it all works out.
Good luck worthy one.
Good to hear Jack. All the best on your journey.
Well done. That’s the hard part over. Good luck.
We’re here for you.
👊
Great work! The first step is the most difficult. Next appointment will be much easier.
Nice one Jack, good luck feller.
Congratulations Jack.
What a fine bloke you are. Well done and all the luck in the world to you.
Good on yer Jack. All The Best.
Tiny steps? You’ve taken the biggest step already
Good man yerself. Onwards and upwards.
You are way stronger than you think you are. Well done.
You lot here really are the nicest people on the internet.
I really am not worthy.
Well done, Jack. Definitely a step in the right direction.
All the best for the future.
All the best, man. You said in your post that there was a long way and tiny steps forward – well, there may be a way to go: but the step you’ve just taken is probably the biggest of the lot…
Further update.
For one reason or another, I have been putting off getting back in contact with my GP, but, several weeks ago I managed to book an appointment, & will be talking to him tomorrow afternoon.
I will be telling him that the low dosage he has put me on (15mg) seems to be helping me a lot more than the 2 x 45mg (sometimes more – much more) is helping me immensely – I no longer have a groggy feeling for the first few hours of each day for starters.
All in all I am starting to feel a little bit more positive & a little bit less pathetic & unworthy.
Another update to come once I have spoke to my Doctor & taken on board what he has to say.
(Hopefully).
That’s great news in itself. Keep looking forwards.
👍
All the best, keep positive.
Well done. Keep up the good work!
Thanks for the update Jack. Take care pal.
Great news Jack 👊