Well as I’d splurged my private life all over these here ‘pages’ on a few occasions (like here and here among others, I thought some of you might appreciate an update. Also as a thankyou to the many folk on here who told me it would get better, and I’m here to tell ya – it does.
Brief timeline:
GLW tells me 3yrs ago that she ‘doesn’t want to be married to me anymore’ but we’ll continue as a ‘couple’ for the kids’ sake.
We live under same roof but in separate bedrooms since then. I still hold out hope that things may change but make no major changes in my mindset to bring about that scenario. Life plods along.
Mid-Jan this year she tells me she’s met someone. Cue emotional meltdown from me – the full (well actually a mad fluctuation between the first four) Kübler-Ross.
Many uncharacteristic tears (the full unstoppable tsunami) from me later, as well as many sarky remarks on both sides and all the rest of it, I have now arrived at:
Acceptance. Now open to the possibility of a new relationship for myself, whereas in my bleakest moments I literally could not imagine such a thing. Had one of those bittersweet and ironic moments the other night with the (still) GLW where we had a good chat about things and I even mentioned to her that I had been told that a friend of a close friend was, like, totally into me. She was genuinely happy for me (as the ‘dumper’ in this scenario the last thing she wants is me being a kind of Ghost of Christmas Past – a role I was more than ready to fulfil for a while!) and we had a laugh about the situation.
I hope this flicker of romantic interest develops but even if it doesn’t I can definitely see that my sackcloth and ashes self-flagellation was faintly ridiculous.
So – a rare moment of positivity from me. Enjoy 🙂
Disclaimer – I was never cruel to my woman, nor beat her, nor kept her apart from the things that she loved.
“…can definitely see that my sackcloth and ashes self-flagellation was faintly ridiculous.”
But so ubiquitous that you might as well just consider it to be part of the human condition.
Still, very pleased to hear that you’re seeing some kind of light at the end of the tunnel…onward and upward! 🙂
Thanks for coming back to us with an update, Dougie. It’s great to hear things are turning for the better. Life’s much too short to wallow in misery.
Go get her 😉
Good for you Dougie. Good luck!
I’m available, if you’re looking.
🙂
When one door close, another opens.
https://youtu.be/g3Z4PX2JI_c
She sounds a cruel and selfish woman to have you put your life on hold for so long, whatever her self-justification. Just saying. Sorry if my bluntness takes a layer off your welcome new shine, and I hope your kids are as forgiving.
I was going to post Don’t think Twice It’s Alright, but whoever uploaded it saw fit to illustrate it with a picture of Churchill’s funeral… not appropriate.
Good luck Dougie.
Here is some advice for you @DougieJ – a friend of mine was distraught at the collapse of his marriage with circumstances similar to yours. When he eventually got round to exploring the possibilities of a new romantic encounter he was concerned that he may fall short in the bedroom department. To ensure complete success he purchased some little blue pills. The instruction was to take one tablet in the run up. To ensure success he decided to take an extra half tablet.
Mayhem ensued- he had a hard on for about 8 hours he couldn’t get rid of.
🙂
Cheers everyone. Much appreciated.
That’s really good news. Very pleased for you. As a fellow divorce survivor things definitely can get better and there will be romantic opportunities aplenty (the internet is a blessing and a curse in this respect.)
Keep us updated!
👍
Dougie…get yerself back in the game ASAP mate. There are SO many opportunities these days (Online,APPS)in hooking up with a like minded , more compatible soul, who will appreciate your unique and special qualities. Qualities that the present Mrs Dougie doesn’t even see any more, let alone appreciate.
Take it from a bloke that has been there, worn the sack cloth T-Shirt and now moved on …for the fuckin’ better.
Life is short and getting shorter every day, grasp it and go for it. The nervouseness about doing this is actually far greater than actually doing it! Crack on old son…the friend of a friend will be fun, it may not lead onto anything much, but it will be fun and positive. And hey, fun and positive I am guessing is way more than the GLW is towards you at present. Best of luck matey.
So many opportunities for the doublemeister here, if only the word “grasp”, but this probably isn’t the time.
….”for the fuckin’ better…”…. no, shut up, Moose.
Cheers Razor Boy
Cheers Dougie. I’m right slap bang in the middle of something similar. This has helped.
The Afterword – Not Just for the Nice Things in Life.
Whatever you do, just relax and enjoy it and take it for what it is in the moment. I lurched from divorce to looking for a LTR.
Took me a while to sort through my thinking and realize what was going to be important to me, and then I got lucky and found it.
sound advice, cheers