SFWIC is organising a 50th birthday bash for a work colleague, and I sort of volunteered to do the card.
Now, all I really know about him is that he was born and raised in West Yorkshire (I seem to recall Cleckheaton being mentioned) and studied at the University of Huddersfield. He moved out here ten years ago.
So what I want to do is throw in arcane references (it’ll probably be a caricature with lots of background bits) to things Yorkshire that will have him scratching his head and wondering “How the hell could you know about (arcane reference)?”
Well-known local pubs, clubs, places…the sort of thing a local would recognise straight off – can anyone suggest anything? Even bits of catchphrase. local in-jokes (bearing in mind he’s been gone 10 years)…any and all suggestions gratefully accepted.
Ahh_Bisto says
The only ones that spring to mind from living in Yorkshire for 18 months are to ensure you call him “love” and to insist that tea is “mashed” not brewed and to compliment him on his “warty clothes”
count jim moriarty says
Unless he spent any time in Sheffield, where they would call him “duck” and smother his food in Henderson’s Relish.
Johnny Concheroo says
And if he complained about the cold he was “nesh”
And feeling sorry for himself he would be “mardy”
But these may be Sheffield specific
Harry Tufnell says
Nah, people can be mardy and nesh in Barnsley as well, it’s not just you dee-dars!
Johnny Concheroo says
Perhaps I should have said Sheffield catchment area specific?
badartdog says
I m from Bradford -folks still live there but I never heard of warty clothes. Agree that tea is mashed though.
hubert rawlinson says
Live in the next town Heckmondwike, mention Cleckheckmondsedge, a combination of the conurbation. Will post more when I’m back home.
bobness says
Or Cleckhudddersfax.
And call it Bratford. With a “t”.
mutikonka says
Just down the road from my old house in Drig. Cleckheaton is … ?? Near the old Batley Variety Club? Spiritual home to Agadoo hitmasters Black Lace (and perhaps Creme Brulee)? There used to be a butcher’s shop there that had a sign outside saying “Don’t talk tripe, eat it!” Or was that Heckmondwike. Cleckheaton is one of those small West Riding mill towns south of Leeds that are now industrial no-man’s lands. Just watch Ripping Yarns – The Testing of Eric Olthwaite and I think you’ll get the idea of what it used to be like. For someone approaching 50 growing up there would be a cross between Kes and League of Gentlemen.
hubert rawlinson says
Dewsbury had the tripe stall. Hey’s tripe it was with the slogan ” Don’t talk …”
Harry Tufnell says
Just watch “Rita Sue and Bob Too”, that’ll give you some idea of the typical West Yorkshire upbringing.
tinysuns says
High excitement when Hillards came to my bit of Yorkshire as a kid. They were based in Cleckheaton, but this may be more pointlessly obscure than you were hoping for…
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hillards
attackdog says
More an astute observation of the West Yorkshire, but in the years I have lived here I find myself agreeing with it more and more.
‘Yorkshire. Lovely scenery but there are people in the West Riding who have lived there since 1106 but are still not accepted as true Yorkshiremen because rumour has it that their mother bought clogs from a pedlar who had a cousin in Prestbury, thereby blighting the bloodline forever. They make Londoners look like Hawaiian greeter girls. Plus you can’t stray within 50 miles of Haworth sodding Parsonage without being assailed on all sides by Bronte bilge. The Branwell Tea Shoppe. The Helen Burns Sunbed Centre. Mr Rochester Opticians. Grace Moon Loft Conversations. What a load of Wuthering Shite.’
(as appeared in The Grauniad many moons ago).
hubert rawlinson says
The cinema there was called the Bronte cinema too. I remember going to Haworth years ago, the sound of church bells rang out, after a while there was a sudden stop mid clang and the sound of a tape recording of bells in reverse and very fast.
Black Celebration says
My parents were from from Bradford. They said several impenetrable things that might only make sense to locals:
“Where are you going?”
“to Shipley for a Sludder!”
(Translation – “none of your business”)
“Boris Johnson’s just said something stupid”
“Aye and cats ont doorstep”
(Translation – “that’s not a surprising piece of news”)
“Buggerlugs”
(Translation – “I have forgotten the name of the person I am talking about, so this is his name for the purposes of this story.”)
The big posh Department Store in town was Brown and Muffs. It was a big deal to go there. As a teenager, I cringed as my half-deaf grandmother asked for open gusset tights by shouting incredibly loudly at the main door towards the make up counter. She marched up to several random counters, ignoring what they said while shouting “ah allas ‘ave URPEN GOOSIT” .