Walking through a store in Sydney’s glorious QVB yesterday, I could hear the Muzak burbling away and thought, ‘hang on, that’s Quo with In The Army Now…what the…’. it’s just wrong on so many levels. Even the basement level where I was.
Inappropriate muzak
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I was coming out of Home Bargains (an otherwise Afterworder-free zone I should think) about six weeks ago and Stop Me If You Think If You’ve Heard This One Before.
I was delayed, I was way-laid
An emergency stop ,I smelt the last ten seconds of life
I crashed down on the crossbar
And the pain was enough to make a shy, bald Buddhist reflect
And plan a mass murder
A perfect soundtrack to pondering over the best of Fray Bentos.
These are the riches of the poor.
I Started Something I Couldn’t Finish…. a family pack of Monster Munch.
Home Bargains?
Shoplifters Of The World Unite … shirley?
I dropped into my local branch on the way home from work. Cheap deodorant, hand wash and a couple of bags of mixed nuts. Home Bargains are great for cheap essentials. No idea if there was any music playing though.
They were playing ‘William It Was Really Nothing’ in our local branch last week.
I’ve heard some other oddities in there over the past few years too – ‘September Gurls’, ‘The Ballad Of Easy Rider’, ‘Peg’, various vocal jazz and even Solomon Burke’s ‘Cry To Me’.
I was reluctantly at a gathering in a local bar a few years ago – don’t really remember why, I think it was a parents of one of children’s friends having a 40th and I was my wife’s +1. It was her they wanted, not me.
Anyway, I sat near a big screen that showed godawful videos and then – seemingly from nowhere – Stop Me…by The Smiths comes on! It’s a video I hadn’t seen before where Morrissey clones cycle around Salford. The night turned on his head thanks to that. As a result of saying what a great song it is, I met a bloke who hails from Malaysia originally and he told me his favourite band is Hipsway!
Did you say “Why Lord?”
No – but I did reference the Honey Thief i.e. the only one of theirs I know. He was really pleased.
The IKEA Megastore at the King’s Curve is a place where many young Stockholmers go to buy the furniture for their first home. Many of these are I am sure newly engaged young couples.
So to hear The Beautiful South’s Don’t Marry Her, Fuck Me on the in-store stereo seemed rather subversive. Great song though.
Here is a “clean” live version.
Common retail error?
Also heard in a Co-Op a couple of months ago
I took my kid to a baby rave in Islington once and stood in a room full of children having “Digeridoo” by the Aphex Twin blasted at them.
They liked the bubbles.
Calpooooool!
Calpooooool!
I am not familiar with the concept of a “baby rave” – you say it like it happens all the time.
I’m sure it does in Islington. You can hardly walk down Upper street for all the babies in high end strollers waving their glow sticks in your face.
Buoyed by the popularity of The Lightning Seeds’ Life Of Reilly, the Beeb’s Sport Department clearly adopted a policy of buying jaunty Northern English guitar pop by the yard to use as incidental music. This can be the only explanation for the fact that, over a compilation of the previous week’s goals on Football Focus, they opted for a slice from Morrissey’s “I Like You”, so that, as Jermain, Ruud and Dimitar were knocking them in we were treated to the lines 🎵I like you ‘cos you’re not right in the head and nor am I🎵
I’ve mentioned this before on this site, but a few years ago I was in Argos in Prescot and they were playing ‘You can’t always get what you want’ over the PA.
Early warning of low stock?
Yes because they followed it up with the little known Stones track ‘This item is available at our Widnes store’
When Pulp Fiction was the big new film someone in the local Wookiee tried to up their cool rating by playing the soundtrack in store. Cue the opening dialogue over the shop speakers:
‘Everybody be cool this is a robbery!’
‘Any of you f*&@ing pricks move and I’ll execute every motherf*&@ing last one of you!!!’
And that’s as much as we got to hear.
Surely the soundtrack of Return of the Jedi would have been more appropriate.
Not “muzak” as such but a friend told me of a family wedding and the disco afterwards where Grandma, Great Aunt Maud and the like we’re not quite prepared for the opening line of Ian Dury’s Plaistow Patricia.
Last time I was in Home Bargains, there was a boy with a thorn in aisle 5.