I’m visiting England very soon, with my wife and her daughter. I’m a little nervous of arriving in a third-world country with all its strange traditions and pitfalls, so any advice from the seasoned global travellers here will be very welcome! Please bear in mind we’ll be staying at my dad’s semi-d in a very dull and ugly Midlands town and spending as little money as possible. What should we do? Eat? Watch on TV? What cultural idiosyncracies should we be aware of? How best should we deal with the English? Are there any useful phrases we should learn?