Following on from the Thread Of SHITE I thought we should dig deeper and find those tracks from your favourite artiste that make your toes curl. You wonder how they produced some of your favourite music but also managed “that”. An off day, change of direction, bad advice or just a shite song that proves we’re all human.
Mine is Billy Mackenzie’s ( as The Associates) cover of “Heart Of Glass”. Desperate for a hit, no producers knowing what on earth to do with him or that voice. Some bright spark decided to take Blondie’s finest added the worst excesses of 80’s production and asked Billy to tone the singing down a bit. Then there’s the video. ….. Did Steely Dan do a stinker? Is there such a thing as bad Beatles? Did Kate Bush do any clunkers? Over to you. ..
Me first.
The Church. They’ve released some sublime stuff but “Maybe these boys” is not that. Urgh.
Mr Moonlight and Ob-La. Apart from that I’m two thumbs up. I even like Maxwell. And I REALLY like Rev 9. There, I said it.
Bad Beatles. … ✔
What’s the new Mary Jane – it reeks.
Does this count? It was only officially released on Anthology.
I don’t mind that one. I’d go for Free As A Bird. Terrible idea, a dirge of a song. What was it someone said? After years of trying to make ELO sound like The Beatles he makes The Beatles sound like ELO.
I like Free As A Bird, but the “make everything sound like a Jeff Lynne button” was firmly pressed
We’ve been here before with the Fabulosas, but I stick with ‘You Know My Name (Look Up The Number)’. Utter, utter tosh.
Someone will now say it’s they love it.
I *dramatic pause, arms slowly being raised aloft* l-o-v-e it. Especially the longer version on Anthology, of course. Just for its silliness. It makes me laugh. Though I wouldn’t call it a good song. But never underestimate a creative day at the funny farm.
Me too. “You know me number three, you know me number two”, “Welcome to Slaggers”. Top bantz.
It’s wonderful. Just so bizarre.
Yeah, I like ‘You Know My Name (Look Up The Number). I like it a lot more than, say, “Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds” or “The Long and Winding Road”.
Nah Mr Moonlight has that fabulous opening vocal line by John….so that alone discounts it as a worst
Unbelievable as it may seem, some Beatles songs are worse than others. How to decide which is worst? I can forgive experimentation (Revolution 9 is off the hook), lesser songwriters getting a rare chance (Don’t Pass Me By gets a pass), songs deliberately simple to appeal to children (Yellow Submarine is magnificent in that context) or musical hall for the mums and dads (When I’m 64 is pitched perfectly). I also reject anything The Beatles themselves rejected until after Let It Be (Mary Jane is home free) or skits used as links (Wild Honey Pie can rest easy). I’m loathe to include covers as they are not actually Beatles songs (although the lethargic versions of Perkins songs on Beatles For Sale are shameful).
No. I’m looking for hubris. Songs that are far worse than the composer thinks. Songs with both bad lyrics and bad music (Run For Your Life’s jaunty music just about keeps it off the bottom spot). Paul thought Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da and Maxwell’s Silver Hammer were worthy of being singles. Fortunately, the others over-ruled him. John’s efforts on Abbey Road’s second side are old or risible. Because is just about rescued by the harmonies and Sun King by George Martin’s production. George never really had confidence in his writing, so even his worst can’t be classed as hubristic (You Like Me Too Much, however, is awful and presents an over-cocky George ‘allowing’ a young lady to fawn over him, an attitude present in Love You To as well). Similarly, John was too well aware that It’s Only Love is lightweight both lyrically and musically.
The prize, for me, goes to Another Girl. It was felt to be superior enough to be included in Help! the movie and Paul had the gall to erase George’s solo, replacing it with his own oddity. Another Girl is distinctly well below average but, most of all, it reeks of hubris.
Talking of poor Beatles songs, I really enjoy the notion of the worst of The White Album posited by Twang. Try The Shite Album.
English Rose. The Jam. Not on the original album sleeve which kind of says what they thought of it. For no bombs can ever keep keep me from she.
And for solo artist: controversial choice. Don’t Give Up. Just awful smug entitled 80s mawkish balladry. Love Kate, hate this. (tin hat time)
Also love Kate. But I’ve always had a deep aversion to Wuthering Heights.
Kind of agree on the ‘smug, entitled’ bit – though to be kinder it could just be called ‘naively well-meaning’, but I think this is possibly Kate’s most sublime vocal.
My personal Kate hate is ‘Big Stripey Lie’ off The Red Shoes…almost unlistenable.
I do actually quite like English Rose (maybe it’s an age thing).
The Jam bad for me is Trans Global Express
English Rose is a strange one. I didn’t realise it wasn’t that great when listening to it on “All Mod Cons” as a lad. Then later in life it kept cropping up that it’s their worst song. It’s almost convinced me but, nope, sorry I like it…
Mrs Bartolozzi and her washing…machine.
A beautiful, moving song about loss.
Sorry, BC – can’t agree with you there. Wonderful song.
New Order – Jetstream.
An absolute stinker referred to by many as Shitstream, stillborn in the studio, not even guest vocals by wotsername from Scissor Sisters can revive it.
I’m not going to post the video, cos that would only encourage them.
@fentonsteve
Jet stream is certainly a clunker as is most of the album it’s off. But what about that song (I’m not good on N.O song titles) with the lyric “I think you are a pig, you should be in a zoo….giggle?” Off Brotherhood or Lowlife?
Every second counts! Yeah, that’s not the best lyric.
Hey! Lyric Police – you caught him at a bad time, so why don’t you piss off!
The first time I saw NO, they did a few work-in-progress tracks from Brotherhood with Barney making up lyrics on the spot. I don’t think he bothered to polish that clunker.
Worse even than Jetstream is Guilt Is A Useless Emotion, the CD single of which has over an hour of doof-doof mixes of the one (awful) “tune”.
I really wish they’d packed it in after Technique, or perhaps Republic in 1993…
Republic should have just been a single…Regret.
I actually like The Associates’ version of Heart Of Glass, not least for drawing my attention to the phrase “adorable illusion” – I’d never caught it from Debbie’s Noo Yawk delivery.
And I think Billy did worse – I’m no fan of Helicopter, Helicopter from the Perhaps album, for example..
Fair play, its good to hear someone likes it. He has plenty of form post Rankine and pre solo. There is nothing of his I won’t listen to though……
I love Billy’s effortless vocal on Heart Of Glass – for me it transcends the weak production and lazy choice of song. I’m also rather fond of Helicopter, Helicopter from the underrated Perhaps, though I’d concede it’s one of it’s lesser moments.
Could we all agree on this? – I know they’re kidding, but really…
Oh I don’t mind “Blue Soap” I wonder if it’s a reposte to a critic saying he sounds like he’s singing in the shower (then phone his brother up). There are tales of The Associates experimenting with all sorts to find a different sound. This is certainly different even by their standards…
This, this is all wrong. From the mawkish, anaemic backing, hideous instrumental break, heavenly choir and 2307 styles of vocal tried before settling on “drunken uncle in pub”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOadV_CPT_k
agreed that is awful
I love Prince almost unconditionally. But I loathe ‘Jughead’ off Diamonds And Pearls. Just a shockingly ugly aberration.
I take most of the 90s as being the aberration for Prince. Lazy, vaguely funky, crappy lyrics, will this do era.
I’m the opposite. I really like most of his 90s albums. I’d not bothered with them first time round, as conventional wisdom said he’d gone rubbish, but on rediscovering him (annoyingly, shortly before he died) I found lots to like. The Gold Experience is probably my favourite Prince album.
This is just plain wrong. Diamonds And Pearls (apart from the aforementioned…), the Love Symbol album, Come, and Emancipation are all flawed, but are still full of career highlight songs. The Gold Experience, as Paul suggests, is a great album, easily on a par with his 80s ‘imperial phase’. Even the contractual obligation releases have redeeming qualities.
I will concede Diamonds and Pearls is pretty good. I dutifully bought everything up to Crystal Ball so was listening at the time, it just became soul destroying.
Few candidates from this band, but this is up there:
shockingly bad vocal
Stiff Little Fingers – Closed Groove
Snuck away at the end of their debut album. Really doesn’t sound like it fits.
Opinion is divided on the SLF Facebook page.
Some say it is a work of greatness with a clear SLF-type message. Others cite it as tosh
(I am definitely in the latter camp)
It may be a surprise to some but I’m a fan of The Mighty Tull. But not this shocker. The video amplifies its crapness.
https://youtu.be/RxEJJNZD__0
Painful. The worst of Tull is sadly not a short list: Working John, Working Joe, 4WD, Watching You Watching Me, Bungle, pretty much all of Under Wraps. Thankfully he seems to have left his pervy old man days behind.
True. But they wouldn’t be so brilliant if Ian didn’t overreach occasionally.
True. Although these feel like underreaches.
Good point.
painful “comedy” video horrible video, crap vocals and horrible “rawk” guitar
I can forgive Metallica for most things …
but their collaboration with Lou Reed – Why?
It’s more enjoyable than St Anger I think. But haven’t played them back to back. And I’m pretty sure I never will.
But St Anger … no I can’t defend it.
I would actually place St Anger above Lulu (just) but it is really a case of which turd do I polish the most.
Lulu can be hilarious in small doses. If it’s intentional, I don’t know. Most likely not.
St Anger is… a couple of good riffs stretched out to 80 minutes. And the drum sound? Not sure about that either.
This captures pretty much all the hateable points of Mr Z quite neatly. Smug, hate-filled, misogynistic, thinks its way more clever than it is, musically unsatisfying (ground already covered on The Dangerous Kitchen and Ship Arriving Too Late to Save a Drowning Witch). Dire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQ-sWzyyvaM
I’m a Deadhead. You know that, Afterworders. I’m a tie-dyed-in-the-wool Deadhead.
But even I have to admit that “Keep your Day Job” isn’t very good. In a quite dreadfully poor sort of way. It featured in the Dead’s live sets on about 50 occasions between 1982 and 1986, until despairing fans begged the band not to play it any more. No wonder.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iFhI1bGELQ
I love the Waterboys. However their album Book of Lightning contained the song She tried to hold me. Not an awful song but has the most awful songline I have ever heard. I give you:
She lingered like Uranium
Like a demon in my cranium.
Really?
Also Elvis Costello’s Deep Dark truthful mirror. He must like it because it often appears in his sets but I think it is shite.
Depeche Mode went off the rails in 2009 with the third single off the Sounds of the Universe LP. It’s called “Hole to Feed”. It doesn’t really have a tune and is probably their weakest song. They have done plenty of bad songs but at least they are taking risks and it and sometimes goes amazingly well. When a risky song doesn’t go well, I love them all the more. “Hole to Feed” however is in the “will this do?” category and you are unlikely to have heard it at the time.
Worse than this though is the video. In this period they were not appearing in their own videos apart from the brief cameo appearance in the excellent song and video “Wrong”.
“Hole to Feed” has an unremarkable video showing street scenes groups of people going about their business in a city on a hot summer day somewhere on the Mexico border area perhaps. About half way through the video – the people we have seen commence with great big lingering tonguey french kissing – it’s actually disgusting.
@black-celebration
I don’t think it’s that bad, but it shouldn’t have been a single. Though it was probably in a contract somewhere one of Gahan’s contributions should be released as a single.
I really do hope DM have a latter day masterpiece in them, even if I’m starting to give up. We want Wilder! Come back, please!
I revere Richard Thompson, but he has two strands of writing which I pretty much always loathe. There’s the mawkish (Galway to Graceland is a prime example which is mysteriously popular among the fan base), and the cheap character assassination (Dear Janet Jackson, Madonna’s Wedding and so on). The all time low point though is when addressed himself to changing gender politics in the 70s. It didn’t go well. https://youtu.be/3NmdT9BlkD8
I like Galway to Graceland, and I love Waltzing’s for Dreamers which I guess you might put in the same category. But I do agree about the cheap shot character assassinations. Here Comes Geordie is my particular bete noire…
I have a soft spot for WFD, possibly because Amnesia is where I came in with Thommo.
Richard has always written sentimental ballads, G to G is great, good melody decent lyrics. That cant possibly be his worse
Fast Food is certainly a contender, but he drops a stinker on most of his records in truth
Poor Richard Thompson songs.
Has anyone mentioned “Psycho Street” yet?
No?
OK. I will, then.
Psycho Street!
Bod Dylan is at his worst when he’s at his most hagiographic. Lenny Bruce for example
Wonder how long it took him to come up with lines like
‘He was an outlaw, that’s for sure
More of an outlaw than you ever were’
Wow, to be an outlaw all you have to be is a fat drunk misogynist.
The world is full of outlaws!
So bad, at least you can be sure he didn’t plagiarize THAT…
Roll on John is worse
I’d call it a score draw. Then there’s Joey…..
The winner!
Steve Earle has many a reason to love him, but this is bottom of that list.
Even he can barely contain a snigger as he belts out “People say you’re cool, but I think you’re hot…”
The Fabs – Revolution 9 – self indulgent tripe.
Oh goody – the annual Revolution No9 is shite/ no to isn’t, it’s brilliant debate! Me, I’m definitely in the ‘brilliant’ camp – wouldn’t want the album to be without it.
Me neither!
Same here.
Nah it fits perfectly on the White Album. I still like it
Meat is Murder: Tedious, preachy junk.
Makes me want to fry flesh extremely fancifully.
Blur’s Country House was stodgy and crass, although popular, and seemed to epitomize the worst of the Britpop moment.
Damon Albarn (or Alex James?) described it as “Benny Hill type knees up music”.
It was sort of the point Blur said we don’t want to be a britpop band, but let’s see if we can get away with this one
I remember hearing it before release in a Virgin Megastore and laughing out loud – I assumed it was a Spitting Image-type pisstake.
It’s “House in the Country” only with the last word first, and the first word second.
Ray got paid out of court, yeah?
Simon and Garfunkel made some luminously wonderful records.
We’ve Got A Groovey Thing Goin’…. is not one of them
Likewise Cecilia. Hard to believe Simon liked it. His songwriting had matured at that point. Cecilia seems like ‘not sure about this, but we need one more’. The playfulness feels contrived.