Daddy was a bankknobber
David Knobbie (sings Knobbing The Alien)
Knob Brydon
The Right Reverned Knobert Runcie
I knob, you knob, he/she/it knobs, we knob
Oh but it’s a great term of abuse, especially delivered with sufficient spittle-flecked hatred.
C. 1990 The family Moose have the telly on. My Dad has always taken the ‘shouting-at-the-telly’ aspect of fatherhood very seriously. During a commercial break there was an ad for the TV Times, made up of vox pops from bizarrely satisfied customers of the aforesaid waste-of-trees. One of the readers was a bearded bloke who cheerfully said, “I like it, and I’ll buy it!”
My dad responded directly: “You….KNOB!” And so we had the birth of a family catchphrase.
I’ve always found the word lurk, or any of it’s variations funny for some reason. Not in all circumstances I guess. Rapists and murderers must do a fair bit of lurking, for instance. But when not describing someone with serious crime on their mind, lurking is funny.
Arse.
Many years ago, I co-wrote a book with a couple of comedians, and when we received the editorial markings from the publishers, they’d changed ‘arse’ to ‘bum’ every time (and there were a fair number of times). We changed them all back, but great was the disappointment we felt at the lack of understanding.
On a sort of similar theme, back in the late 80s, IPC had a spate of making the music papers asterisk out the swear words. At Melody Maker, a compromise was reached: they could use one unasterisked swear word per issue. For a lark, the designer mocked up the new issue’s cover. Melody Fucker.
Was watching a recent repeat of an interview Mark Lawson did with the late Barry Cryer who maintained that words that contained Ks or hard Cs were always inherently side-splitting,
From the above, it seems this insight may be one of the reasons he’d managed to crack this comedic caper for so long
I was once called up by a friend, quite drunk at the time, asking me to come and join him and a few others for a drink.
‘Yeah alright. Where are you?’
‘The Nurglies’
‘The what?’
‘The Nurglies’
‘Eh?’
‘Nurglies. Down from Kennington tube’
He was trying to say The Hercules, a pub on the Kennington Road in Lambeth. Anyway, it’s remained The Nurglies ever since, And, to the point, is a funny word.
In 1942 England, a family sit in a drawing room making conversation. The father, Mansfield Vermin-Jones (Graham Chapman), lets out a sighing “gorn” and his wife Mrs Vermin-Jones (Eric Idle) asks him what ‘gorn’ means. He says it doesn’t mean anything, it just gives him confidence as it has a ‘woody’ quality about it. He then complains how ‘newspaper’ and ‘litter bin’ have a tinny sound to them, upsetting their daughter Rebecca (Carol Cleveland) at the word ‘tin’. ‘Sausage’, ‘seemly’, ‘prodding’, ‘vacuum’, ‘leap’ have a woody sound, though the mother and Rebecca disagree at the last one, as it’s a PVC sort of word. ‘Bound’ and ‘vole’ also have woody sounds, but not ‘recidivist’, which Rebecca runs out the room after hearing the word ‘tinny’ again.
Mrs Mansfield says ‘caribou’ which Mr Mansfield approves of, but she meant there was a caribou in the garden. He shoots it, and says ‘intercourse’ and other rude words as examples of woody words. The mother tosses a bucket of water over him and he returns to normal. They realise that all the naughty words are woody, apart from ‘tit’. He leaves to fire a servant with a tinny name, Simpkins.
The RAF pilot Gervaise (Michael Palin) bursts in telling his mother a story in RAF slang, but she doesn’t understand. His mother asks him to sing a woody song, and he begins to sing-shout “She’s going to marry Yum Yum”, killing her.
It’s a good debagging of the awful fucking elitist nonsense Nancy Mitford peddled as u and non-u words. Fry and Laurie and Theresa May give that sort of 1% self-love a good kicking here
“Promises me I’m as safe as houses
As long as I remember who’s wearing the trousers”
From “Never Let Me Down Again”. Yer Mode had to add the word “Again” to the title so that it wasn’t confused with Bowie’s smash hit single “Never Let Me Down”.
When poor Martin was a boy, his family were so poor that there was only one pair of trousers between them, which they had to take in in turns to wear in order to go down to the Spar shop.
‘Gabardine makes lovely trousers/Aberdeen has lovely houses’ was a snatch (hurrr) of a song my grandpa used to sing. From Much Binding in the Marsh, apparently.
For full effect, imagine Kevin Bridges or Billy Connolly saying this Scottish word:
Bawbag!
Generally used as an insult, this word, meaning scrotum, gained international notoriety when The West Wing’s Richard Schiff discovered it and started referring to Trump online with the hashtag #presidentbawbag.
Only marginally part of the English language, but there’s a place up the road in QLD called Wonglepong which always brings forth a titter. But don’t get me started on Aussie place names. Oh.
It’s starting to feel like ISIHAC, the round round where one teams says a series of unconnected words and the opposition have to demonstrate a connection…
“Nevertheless” is my pick as the funniest word in the world in any language.
Below is the reason why.
It’s a two minute clip of the director of Boogie Nights talking about the difficulty they had filming a scene where Mark Wahlberg and Burt Reynolds are arguing…
(especially as a verb)
Daddy was a bankknobber
David Knobbie (sings Knobbing The Alien)
Knob Brydon
The Right Reverned Knobert Runcie
I knob, you knob, he/she/it knobs, we knob
Oh yes, I can see your point
What’s funnier, Knob-a-Job or Bob-a-Knob?
I must know.
Knobbie Williams
Oh but it’s a great term of abuse, especially delivered with sufficient spittle-flecked hatred.
C. 1990 The family Moose have the telly on. My Dad has always taken the ‘shouting-at-the-telly’ aspect of fatherhood very seriously. During a commercial break there was an ad for the TV Times, made up of vox pops from bizarrely satisfied customers of the aforesaid waste-of-trees. One of the readers was a bearded bloke who cheerfully said, “I like it, and I’ll buy it!”
My dad responded directly: “You….KNOB!” And so we had the birth of a family catchphrase.
*dabs away a tear of pride*
I’ve always found the word lurk, or any of it’s variations funny for some reason. Not in all circumstances I guess. Rapists and murderers must do a fair bit of lurking, for instance. But when not describing someone with serious crime on their mind, lurking is funny.
Spiders lurk as well, which is definitely not funny. Unless you’re a spider.
I know that Ant (out of Ant and Dec) lurks here.
Thanks for the clarification, i didn’t think you meant Adam Anus….sorry, Adam Ant
Plinth
Especially in a clump.
Footlights fan, eh?
Adenoid
Hinckel
Wankel (Rotary Engine)
Indeedy, had a lovely chat with Dr Miller a couple of times.
Arse.
Many years ago, I co-wrote a book with a couple of comedians, and when we received the editorial markings from the publishers, they’d changed ‘arse’ to ‘bum’ every time (and there were a fair number of times). We changed them all back, but great was the disappointment we felt at the lack of understanding.
On a sort of similar theme, back in the late 80s, IPC had a spate of making the music papers asterisk out the swear words. At Melody Maker, a compromise was reached: they could use one unasterisked swear word per issue. For a lark, the designer mocked up the new issue’s cover. Melody Fucker.
Chump
Was watching a recent repeat of an interview Mark Lawson did with the late Barry Cryer who maintained that words that contained Ks or hard Cs were always inherently side-splitting,
From the above, it seems this insight may be one of the reasons he’d managed to crack this comedic caper for so long
Buttocks. (Hmmm, the theory works.)
There are three.
Thrapp. Frinnt. Squee.
Onomatopoeic fart noises from Viz Comic.
I win.
I’ll put my hand up to the other two, but I am fairly sure I have never in my life done a frinnt.
Needs a bit of tuning, I will admit.
Should you hear someone execute a “thrapp” the correct response is: “a bit more choke and that would’ve started.”
“A confident appeal from the Australian players there “
I do like the range of words Don Martin supplied for “people being hit”:
Foinsapp
Schtoink
Thuk
Spwatch
Pwang
…
Yes. Superb call, Moose.
‘Doont’ A wine bottle bouncing off your napper.
Oh this is good, a great big list of them.
For example GLANK = Stick against head.
https://www.madcoversite.com/dmd-alphabetical.html
“Don’t mind if I do”
Don Martin is the dog’s bollocks.
Instantly recognizable and unforgettable is a hard act to pull off, but DM did it with every frame he ever drew and wrote
Assume you know the difference between an egg and a wank, G….
‘Speak up Mr Brown, you’re through!’
That’s working, now try your lights
What’s that Sweep?
A bit more choke and she would have started.
“Sow a button on that”
“More Tea Vicar?”
(or is that one just me?)
Shite.
Always preferable to the shorter option.
Quite. Closely followed by Twat.
Be sure to wash your hands first..
….Shakespeare’s spiced up his stage directions
Bum.
Simple, everyone knows it, everyone has one, and guaranteed to evoke a childish snigger
Shoe, Megaphone, Grunties
Tits, Winkle, Vibraphone?
They’re going red in Helsinki…
That’s odd…in my mind William Kotzwinkle, author of The Fan Man, was always William Titzwinkle.
WK wrote the novelization of ET. A very odd book it is too.
Also wrotethe excellent Dr Rat
Fudge
I was once called up by a friend, quite drunk at the time, asking me to come and join him and a few others for a drink.
‘Yeah alright. Where are you?’
‘The Nurglies’
‘The what?’
‘The Nurglies’
‘Eh?’
‘Nurglies. Down from Kennington tube’
He was trying to say The Hercules, a pub on the Kennington Road in Lambeth. Anyway, it’s remained The Nurglies ever since, And, to the point, is a funny word.
Should have given him a Tunes. All enunciation issues sorted instantaneously.
Gusset.
Gusset breath.
Weewee.
Twunt.
Spouge.
Nibble. In a Rowan Atkinson voice.
Moist.
Organ.
Goitre
Is it woody or tinny?
In 1942 England, a family sit in a drawing room making conversation. The father, Mansfield Vermin-Jones (Graham Chapman), lets out a sighing “gorn” and his wife Mrs Vermin-Jones (Eric Idle) asks him what ‘gorn’ means. He says it doesn’t mean anything, it just gives him confidence as it has a ‘woody’ quality about it. He then complains how ‘newspaper’ and ‘litter bin’ have a tinny sound to them, upsetting their daughter Rebecca (Carol Cleveland) at the word ‘tin’. ‘Sausage’, ‘seemly’, ‘prodding’, ‘vacuum’, ‘leap’ have a woody sound, though the mother and Rebecca disagree at the last one, as it’s a PVC sort of word. ‘Bound’ and ‘vole’ also have woody sounds, but not ‘recidivist’, which Rebecca runs out the room after hearing the word ‘tinny’ again.
Mrs Mansfield says ‘caribou’ which Mr Mansfield approves of, but she meant there was a caribou in the garden. He shoots it, and says ‘intercourse’ and other rude words as examples of woody words. The mother tosses a bucket of water over him and he returns to normal. They realise that all the naughty words are woody, apart from ‘tit’. He leaves to fire a servant with a tinny name, Simpkins.
The RAF pilot Gervaise (Michael Palin) bursts in telling his mother a story in RAF slang, but she doesn’t understand. His mother asks him to sing a woody song, and he begins to sing-shout “She’s going to marry Yum Yum”, killing her.
It’s a good debagging of the awful fucking elitist nonsense Nancy Mitford peddled as u and non-u words. Fry and Laurie and Theresa May give that sort of 1% self-love a good kicking here
Pump.
My mothers word for fart.
‘Have you pumped?’
Dribble.
Snorkel.
Bobble.
Tryout names for the Banana Splits perhaps?
Bodkin.
Especially The Luck Of them.
My first PGW… instantly hooked.
Same! And the reason why I often catch myself thinking “There are wheels within wheels…”
Contrafibularities
Pericumbobulations
Sausage!
You’ve returned to this thread…… interfrastically
I am compunctious in my return
….having presumably vanquished the Nibble-Pibblies
He’s making it up as he goes along
Crepuscular
On balance I think the word “trousers” has delivered more laughs over time. Not sure why.
Depeche Mode used it in one of their songs and US fans were perplexed. It’s just not in their vocabulary, apparently.
Was it…..
Enjoy the Trousers
Personal Trousers
Get The Trousers Right
Trousers are Trousers
Blasphemous Trousers
New Trousers
Just Can’t Get Enough (Trousers)
Policy Of Trousers
Walking In My Trousers
….not forgetting Strangetrousers
It pays to Get The Trousers Right
Jazz Trousers
The Trousers Thieves
The Bottom Trousers
Trousers on the Windscreen
^Oy vey, that’s a stag night I’m glad I missed
Arf!
Trousers Backwards
Poison Trousers
Where’s the Trousers
The Trousers Crime
Have you quite finished?
It’s a classic Gore couplet :
“Promises me I’m as safe as houses
As long as I remember who’s wearing the trousers”
From “Never Let Me Down Again”. Yer Mode had to add the word “Again” to the title so that it wasn’t confused with Bowie’s smash hit single “Never Let Me Down”.
When poor Martin was a boy, his family were so poor that there was only one pair of trousers between them, which they had to take in in turns to wear in order to go down to the Spar shop.
“Down to”? Going up the Spar shop, shirley? Going up the paper shop, up the clinic, up the pub, up the chippy, up the park …
Your choice. It’s down to you…or it’s up to you.
Essentially you are either Joni or The Specials.
That’s nonsense. He had his own personal jeans
‘Gabardine makes lovely trousers/Aberdeen has lovely houses’ was a snatch (hurrr) of a song my grandpa used to sing. From Much Binding in the Marsh, apparently.
Donald, where’s your troosers?
Och I must have left them in one of the boozers
For full effect, imagine Kevin Bridges or Billy Connolly saying this Scottish word:
Bawbag!
Generally used as an insult, this word, meaning scrotum, gained international notoriety when The West Wing’s Richard Schiff discovered it and started referring to Trump online with the hashtag #presidentbawbag.
Also the neds in Still Game: “….gonnae stop sayin’ bawbag??”
Fannybaws. The gender-neutral variant!
Pleat.
Shrub.
I’ve always liked caterempously in Big Muff by J Martyn.
Starts Tinny then becomes Woody.
Muff
Beverage.
Paradiddle
Buddy Rich invented the paradiddle and later the flam. The only jazz drummer directly influenced by Lewis Caroll.
Collywobbles
Blancmange
Titters
As in “get your titters out”
Ooh no madam. You shut up. Mmm.
Titters is good – right up there with knob.
Only marginally part of the English language, but there’s a place up the road in QLD called Wonglepong which always brings forth a titter. But don’t get me started on Aussie place names. Oh.
Wobbegong
Strathbungo
Yahtzee!
Perineum…
Shibboleth.
Panjandrums.
It’s starting to feel like ISIHAC, the round round where one teams says a series of unconnected words and the opposition have to demonstrate a connection…
“Nevertheless” is my pick as the funniest word in the world in any language.
Below is the reason why.
It’s a two minute clip of the director of Boogie Nights talking about the difficulty they had filming a scene where Mark Wahlberg and Burt Reynolds are arguing…
Your mum.
English, because language isn’t that funny and the is too short
Thrip
Dung.
…..this was supposed to be our big statement….
Genitals
….well I’m not keen on Marillion either, but…
Oh, wrong thread
Titular
I do hope the neighbours were at home today.
We were watching University Challenge, and in answer to one of the questions we yelled out in unison the word “POULTICE!”
Clunge
You can tell it’s Saturday night when people’s search terms start appearing as posts.
Have we had minge yet?
Sadly not
Minge
I think Gary wins. Minge is the funniest word in the English language, closely followed – perhaps a little too closely – by knob.
Excellent. Who won the “browsers” one?
But is minge only funny because of the meaning behind it, otherwise hinge, binge, singe etc would have us rolling in the aisles.
Likewise knob.
Yes. It’s the actual knob that is Schopenhauer’s comedic trigger here. Knobs are inherently ridiculous. Especially that one.
Especially Lord Hereford’s
Late entry here…..
Flounce
…late entry or early exit?
Great pal of mine always insisted “rooves” is the funniest word. Not sure why but it just is.
Very handy when you need a rhyme for….er…. hooves ..
Roofs ‘n’ hoofs, ya pooves x
First use of “pooves” on Th’Afterword? Amazing considering we’re all basically stuck in the 60s.
Cornucopia
Binge
Festoon
Mollusc
Trundle
Cobblers
Gertcha
Cowson
Girth
Puddle
Scabbard
Nub.
I’ve googled trumice…. turns out it’s not a word and Rambling Syd Rumpo lied to me.
Well, griddle my nodes!
….. and lunge my groats
… and green grow my nadgers oh
Tell him, Jules! Tell him!
I don’t like to say…
It’s well known that if you say any word enough times it’s funny.
So the answer is actually four words – “any word enough times”.
BOTTOM!!!!!