My minor hells are
– another interview/ podcast with Graham Nash.
– David Hepworth interrupting Mark Ellen to tell him that he has ‘ a theory’
– podcasters taking five minutes to laugh before starting the podcast
I know, I know, I should read a book. It’s just that my dogs like long walks.
What are your minor hells?
What is yours?
I like Heppo’s theories …”I have a theory on this, would you like to know what it is?” is his catchphrase.
Long introductions annoy me a bit on podcasts – particularly when they introduce multiple levels of membership for “a pint a week” or similar. I know they need to monetise but just the one “Platinum” level is fine – don’t make it complicated.
As schoolchildren, didn’t we all say at one point “our conversations are MUCH funnier than anything on TV and radio! We should record them!” Well, now you can.
Long introductions to podcasts? That’s what the ffwd button is for – forward 30 seconds, rewind 10 or 20 seconds, and die Werbung ist vorbei!
This is one of those AW gripe threads, yeah?
Heppo’s theories, expounded in the early Word Podcasts are quite often ridiculously wrong, which could be amusing in smaller doses.
“Ah but have you listened to [insert name of album] by [insert name of artist you just can’t be arsed about]” because you mentioned that you lacked enthusiasm for [insert name of artist etc.].
Finding myself in the company of (usually men) whose only topic of conversation is football.
Popping a toffee into my mouth and discovering it’s “rum flavoured”.
Wake up blearry-eyed, put the kettle on, brew the tea, get the milk out of the fridge. Give it a quick sniff, smells just about ok, add it to the hot tea, but it forms lumps.
Drink it anyway and strain it through my teeth? Or drive to the petrol station in my jim-jams for a fresh pinta? Either way, my day never really recovers.
Just continuing on that theme, I shared a flat with a guy back in the 90s who regularly turned the sockets of at the walls so you’d get up still half asleep, put the kettle on, go out into the yard and have a ciggie, come back in and pour out a cold coffee or tea.
My wife does it sometimes as well. Drives me nuts
Again in the 90s I had a work colleague who took her breaks just a couple of minutes earlier than me. She was incapable of putting the kettle on without filling it to the bring, with the result that it took ages to boil and I wouldn’t have enough time for my coffee to cool down before the break ended.
Arriving home to find I have forgotten to switch the slow cooker on.
Ah yes. Nothing worse.
What gets me is people thinking it is ok to be outside in pyjamas 😉
Was clearing snow off my car couple of days ago and my next door neighbour was out to drive his kid to daycare in his PJs (with a jacket over them) WTF! Get dressed!
Not long before Covid kicked off I left my flat to walk to work one day and noticed a distinctive smell. Looking around it quickly identified the source as a young woman standing outside her block of flats in her pyjamas and dressing gown, enjoying an eye-wateringly strong spliff, a little before 8 o’clock in the morning.
What if you breakdown? Or get a puncture? Or have prang? That’s why clothes were invented.
That’s why you have to make sure you are wearing clean underpants.
Well as i haven’t owned a pair of pyjamas since I was about 14 years old, me going out in my “night attire’ would probably get me arrested.
Don’t worry, I was being rhetorical.
Option C would be drinking black tea, but that’s odd unless it is Iced Lemon Tea in high summer. Or you are folkie Jim Moray, who takes his tea black with brown sugar.
As an aside, who’d think that Crosby, in the few years before he died, had resurrected his career and reputation to quite an extent while Nash, ever wanting be be seen as ‘the reasonable one’ has become an insufferable blowhard. Stephen ‘took so much coke he convinced himself he was a Vietnam Vet’ Stills comes a distant third in my book.
When a car journey (usually when you’re a bit late) hits red traffic lights at every turn
Crowds.
– Podcasts that are too long. Do they need to be over 45 mins? Usually not.
– ‘Deluxe’ versions of new albums being released at the same time as the standard one.
“Do they need to be over 45 mins? Usually not.”
Not a listener to Chartmusic TOTP then?
I just looked this up & wow they are long! Think i will be giving these a swerve!
I do love a podcast, but I find that a lot of the ones that are long (45 mins is plucked out of the air here) tend to be needlessly so & could be edited better. The latest episodes of Rockonteurs with Harvey Goldsmith was a two parter & it definitely helped to have them split up in this way.
Not obligatory to listen to all at once. Chart Music podcasts may take me about a week to get through but it’s worth it generally (although they are not as good as they used to be)
I love Chart Music – easily my favourite podcast – as long as Taylor Parkes is on, or Neil Kulkani. If Simon Price is on without Taylor or Neil it can become a chore. Al Needham is a modern day Pepys. The research he does for each episode is truly impressive.
Not a fan of Neil Kulkani. I like Simon Price if he holds back a bit. Taylor Parkes is great but am getting slightly weary of some of his pronouncements. The other two are ok except “ROCK EXPERT DAVID STUBBS” doesn’t like anything much. Al Needham uses wikipedia a lot I think
Kulkarni and Price have the annoying habit of declaring that a particular hit was bought “by people who don’t really like music”…and they all seem to be under the impression that black American soul music is the only music of any worth, and anything else is either copying it (excusable) or not (total crap).
They are wonderful. Listen to them in parts
“Deluxe” versions of new albums being released a few weeks after the standard version are more annoying (along with no information that they’re being released)
This is true. I find the whole deluxe album thing a bit puzzling when enough time has not passed for the album to breathe.
Throwing in a new format with 4 extra tracks just feels like we are being served up some songs not deemed good enough for the original release.
Brian “fucking” Eno
Bet you just saw that on an Oblique Strategies card
Arf!
When your Offspring has already been in the shower, you get a nice lather of Head & Shoulders on your bonce, and the hot water runs out.
Which is why God gave us combo boilers.
Currently , fucking apps that fire up in my car for no apparent reason. Todays it was a history podcast by Bragg on The Mamluks.
see any website that suddenly scrolls the screen so that you inadvertently click on an advert banner. Just in case any website creators are on the blog, I have a list of advertisers who do this and. I. will. never. buy. any. of. their. products. ever.
I like baked beans and I like egg but not on the same plate.
Similarly I like brown sauce but not on egg under any circumstances.
Standing concerts where someone who is 6’6 comes and stands directly in front of you.
When you go for a dump in the morning and realise that the missus has used the last toilet paper in the loo and not replaced it necessitating a trek into the kitchen to get a new roll all because she will not allow unused rolls cluttering up the toilet.
That’s a lot to digest Steve but I’m with you on the egg rules.
It’s inhuman not to keep a spare in the loo.
Obligatory. What if you run out completely and are unaware until the fateful moment arrives?
That’s what cats are for.
You wipe your arse with a cat??!!
Not as such. Something I learnt after mistakenly using a pilchard for the purpose, a cat came and finished me off. So to speak.
🤢
Needing a dump when not at or near home. Mainly due to the fear that it will not flush, should I need to take an “away” dump.
Carry a metal coat hanger with you at all times @mike_h
Had a real clearout at my cousins at the weekend and it took 3 flushes because of a floater – never happens at home of course.
Beware the night watchman.
Similarly, when the doorbell rings mid-dump and you’re the only person in the house. Which means Postie is attempting to deliver something too big to fit in the letter box, which means it is going to be interesting (i.e. probably a record).
Postmen can always bend a record in half so it fits easily through the letterbox.
This happened to a friend of mine. The LP snapped perfectly in half.
I like to think it’s revenge for tiny letterboxes at ground level with springs like Arkwright’s Till (TMFTL).
I ordered a rare Canadian promo 7″ single on Discogs. It made it all the way from Toronto to Cambridge in one piece then, as Postie shoved it through the letter box, I heard the crack (I was in the hallway at the time).
The paper label holds the two halves together but it is unplayable. I’ve never seen another copy.
Is that because the postie ran away before you could retrieve it from his throat / rectum?
You need a sausage to act as a breakwater between the egg and beans
Thoughtful breakfast emporia put the beans in a ramekin or small dish, for those affected by a potential bean juice/yolk co-mingling. Even more thoughtful establishments do not offer beans with a Full English. Beans are for teatime. Hash browns are another Unwelcome Breakfast Abomination. See also tinned tomatoes, heated through.
Perfect, um, product placement between @fentonsteve and @thegp ‘s posts there. Quite a chortle.
@Thegp 10 on 10. Let’s make love.
Bellowhead – A-Begging I will Go. It’s top of my Apple Music library and will often, but not always, start playing when I plug my phone in the car. It’s in all of my year end most popular songs for this reason alone.
The paper in the printer running out, the ink running out, all that sort of malarkey. Battery in the remote control and in my wireless headphones. In anything needing a recharge, to be fair.
Needing a wee or a poo when I’m already in a hurry and running late.
Emptying the fecking dishwasher.
Most machines that can, will and do break and malfunction.
Objects that resolutely stay in one item of clothing pocket when I change coat, jacket or trousers, then not where they should’ve when needed.
The thing where the replies get thinner and longer, when reading AW on a phone. Drives me nuts.
I could go on. Normally I am a very mild mannered and accepting individual, but you would think the modern world could have sorted these egregious concerns out by now!
Oh, and, if needs must, I see nothing wrong in putting out my bins in my dressing gown. Hardly my fault the buggers collect at the same time every vweek…….
Plugging in USB cables/connectors (pre-USB C). It can only go in one of two ways, so why does it always take me three attempts?
Being addressed as bud, buddy, chap, fella or mate. Very unnecessary.
Don’t move to Essex, mate, or you’ll never hear the end of it, mate, know what I mean, mate?
Okay mate, thanks for the advice.
Or Australia.
I once said “mate” to a policeman who wanted information about a minor incident not involving myself that I knew about – he said “I’m not your mate”, so I didn’t help him with his enquiries.
Rather self-defeating!
Should always address policemen as “Ossifer” if you want them to be your friends.
The world’s prisons are full of people the police interviewed about incidents they “weren’t involved in”
Chap or fella are very annoying indeed.
I would choose any of them over being addressed as ‘sir’.
Guys! Aaaarrrgggghhhh
Mate is the universal here in Alice. Well, in most of Australia.
If you’re close friends, you may well be addressed as cunt.
Having spent a couple of years living in New Zealand, being called Bro a lot of the time used to drive me up the wall
That’s been exported.
Being addressed as “Chief” or, worse still, “Chiefy” by some slack-jawed member of the lumpenproletariat is even more galling
Attempting, and failing, to open the front door of my house by pointing my car keys at it and pressing the central locking button.
Attempting, and failing, to open my car by pointing and pressing my wife’s car keys.
(It would be understandable, and possibly forgivable if the cars were the same make)
Yesterday I had an appointment with my chiropractor just after lunch. I was short on time so I grabbed some horrible drive through food and ate it in my car in the parking lot at the surgery. Threw out the remains and entered the building, realised I didn’t have my car keys with me. Went back to car which was open and they weren’t there. Retraced my steps to the bin and found them next to the rubbish I had thrown out. Thankfully they were on the edge of the bin and could easily be retrieved. Worried me a bit to be honest.
I open the back door of my house from inside with a key on the same key ring as the front door key and the patio door key. I open the garage with a garage key on a ring which also has the back door key.
A couple of weeks ago, I discovered it is possible to lock the back door from outside, with the key inside still in the lock. But not to unlock it from outside unless the inside key is removed.
Having locked myself out of the house from morning until Mrs F came home in the evening, I added the spare patio door key to the garage key ring. I had to have a Rich Tea based lunch.
Well, your tea would have been too wet otherwise – as these titans of Euston Films would testify were they still around..
I wonder if Jako spent the afternoon farting, too?
Whenever I take my car alarm/unlocking fob out of my pocket, the side with the operating buttons is always facing into my palm, not accessible to fingers until I turn it over.
Going shopping in Sainsbury’s, guaranteed that at least 2 items on my list will be out of stock. Especially items for which I have extra Nectar points coupons.
Buying a half-speed mastered album, only to find it has been pressed at GZ.
Weather people who say “bits and pieces of rain”, people who say “would of” instead of “would have”, people who begin an answer with “so”. People who try to get me interested in some new band when they’ve never heard of the Zombies. Texters in cinemas. Texters outside cinemas. Texters. Gigs that go on for longer than ten minutes.
I tend to stay in a lot.
We have a winner. The would of/would have thing drives me up the wall. Ignore anything else I said above, I would trade any of them in to stop this!
nb. Especially when people actually say it incorrectly. i.e. ‘should/would of’! A favourite of football pundits (especially Micah Richards).
I work in a numerate and literate job (I.e lots of formal writing required) and it drives me nuts that university educated (I’m not) graduates constantly write “would of” or “should of”. Not just saying it. I could of throttled um.
I find it very hard not to verbally correct people- even the occasional friend- when they say “would of.” It’s the equivalent of a chalk scraping down a blackboard for me I’m afraid.
Speaking of blackboards I saw a blackboard sign for a cafe today. It served and sold confectionary I decided not to visit.
@Leem
You should of
I remember a few years ago weather forecasters would quote a percentage chance of rain, so sometimes they would say something like ‘there is a 50% chance of showers’….I guess someone pointed out that this actually means it might rain, or it might not…thanks for that.
I have also repeatedly heard the phrase ‘more organised showers’, whatever that means.
‘Showery rain’ is another irritant.
Any dog owners out there? I hate it when, every time you reach into your pocket for keys or money, a fresh (er…unused) poo bag clings to your fingers or flutters across the supermarket checkout…
BBC weather presenters seem to have a long-running bet on how many times they can describe conditions as ‘squally’.
people who begin an answer with “so”.
This – on the spot fines should be introduced and rigorously applied.
I deeply resent the current over-usages of “narrative” and “journey” when not talking about a book/film/play and when not going anywhere, respectively.
Also people saying “myself and X” rather than “X and I”. Thick.
Also, “how’s yourself”.
Quite keen on the latter, but I think it is correct, in Scots. So more a “How’s yersel’?”
See also: “Gawn yersel’!”, often followed by “big man” or “wee man” as appropriate.
“How’s Yourself?” is also a common greeting in Ireland.
I think that battle is lost. I die a little when I hear, or worse read, people use who when it should be whom.
Reach out
Reach out
People who cannot say the words ‘last minute’ without adding a ‘dot com’.
And people who describe themselves as ‘anal’. Surely they’ve grabbed the wrong word out of the phrase ‘anally retentive’ ?
Yes! Last minute dot com is surely the winner.
Although the misuse of “literally” is also utterly infuriating.
I’m happy to have literally and lastminute.com tie for first (last?) place.
Ah but, “literally” literally means “not literally”. It’s literally in the dictionary.
I like language. If enough people get it wrong, it eventually becomes part of the rules. Bit like Brexit I suppose.
And Wordle.
Wordle is a bit like masturbation. It’s much better if you don’t post about it.
Also, neither is likely to lead to proper sex with another human.
Ah, @Gary: but “literally” only means “not literally” in its informal usage in the dictionary. I spurn informal usage.
With haughty disdain? When I spurn things, I always try to do so with haughty disdain.
I spurn informal usage as I would spurn a rabid dog.
Brusquely, I would imagine. And with little regard for conventional etiquette.
“Brusquely”…you have the mot juste…
Well… I have written long posts, considered posts, philosophical posts but this is my greatest hit? This is the one I’ll be forced to play at my gigs? I have enjoyed these contributions very much – I have found over the years that the site has offered me much laughter – thankyou everyone. Keep them coming. Oddly, one of my minor hells is making an ugly writing error and not being able to fix it. Because I posted on my phone, I couldn’t work out how to edit once it was posted. I convinced myself not to worry because nobody would notice or comment ( and nobody did the latter). So most things we worry about never do happen.
My latest minor hell would be arriving at the swimming pool changing rooms and realizing I’d forgotten one thing from the list of things I need for a good swim. In increasing scale of irritation and action needed, all these I have neglected to bring at least once:
swimming shoes
shampoo/soap
flippers
underpants (commando!)
goggles
towel (amazing how much use an overhead hair dryer can be put to)
coin for the locker (trip back to the reception to borrow a coin)
swimming trunks (there’s no way round this one – give up or quickly go back to collect said item)
Flippers? How big / deep is your local pool?
Normal length (25 m long, about 3 m deep), but I am very lazy, and it is nice to motor through the first 10 lengths without making any effort at all,
Ah, it was YOU I saw in Droitwich brine baths.
In my 6th decade and I’d never till now made the obvious salt connection between SALwarpe and Droitwich Spa.
*hangs head in shame*
Every day’s a school day.
Our dishwasher’s been out of action for a couple of weeks and our student Offspring is home for Easter. I find myself doing the washing up six or seven times a day.
I also have to pull long hair out of the clogged-up shower drain, not to mention sliding about in the shower tray like I’m on roller skates, after she has applied hair oil.
No wonder she and her flatmates are always falling out.
The ambiguity of that last sentence amuses me hugely..
Hah! SWIDT. If only it had been intentional…
The transparent plastic wrappers on the little mints you get at cafes and restaurants. In the last year I have had 27 of them. How do I know? The wrappers are still stuck to my hand.
People who answer no yes to a question. It must be a long time since anyone found that amusing.
YouTube ads. I watch a lot of guitar gear and tuition vids. Live footage of favourite artistes. Photography tuitions. And the like.
Either I’m obliged to sit through two ads at the start or (until ‘skip ads’ appears) or one will pop up mid-vid. The most annoying are those set to the laziest 3 chord strum on a fucking ukulele.
Agree, and especially because they are always completely fucking irrelevant. BMWs or MacDonalds or creosote, none of which I have any interest in purchasing.
Is that why I found myself creosoting a BMW outside McDonalds the other day?
I think I might have been unwittingly influenced by the internet.
Yep. Plus, one ad will play over and over for weeks. Obviously having paid YT for the privilege.
One that drove me mad was for a recruitment agency. ‘Granny! I got the job!’
Didn’t we have a discussion about YouTube ads a while back?
The only ones I get are ones that are embedded in the clips themselves. I use the AdBlocker Ultimate extension with Google Chrome and it just works. Not 100% everywhere but certainly with YT.
The only real problem is with websites that recognise their ads are being blocked and tell me off or deny access for blocking ads they rely on to finance the site. Individual sites can be whitelisted in the extension’s configuration if necessary.
Delivery schedule hell where you are told your parcel/a workman will arrive between 8 am and 2 pm.
Having donned your jim-jamjs preparatory to heading into the back garden for a crafty early morning spliff and pausing only to place the beans next to the fried egg on your guest’s full Irish breakfast plate, said delivery will invariably arrive at exactly 8 am.
Having waited around all day composing highly dubious theories and inaccurate news stories for Heppo to leak on his Twitter feed, you are called away momentarily at 3:59 sharp – exactly the moment the fuckers ring the doorbell
The UK needs packstations – locally-distributed electronically-controlled post storage systems where you can drop off and pick up parcels, without having to be at your home address at a certain time.
When you buy something online here you can choose how to collect it. Up to a certain size and it can be picked up from your nearest mini market’s instabox. You get a pin via text message. If that option’s not available you can get it from the same shop where they have a parcel pick up counter. Get it when it suits you. Seldom must you have something come to your door.
Same one-minute-past/one-minute-to principle applies to repair/installation guys who need you to be home to let them in
I had just this yesterday (minus the spliff). Waiting for a small item from Amazon for which delivery was attempted during the 3-5 minute window when I was taking the recycling bags out to the pavement.
It’s very minor in the greater scheme of things: but use of the term “vinyls” to describe LPs makes me want to smack someone -and I’m really not a violent person.
“Vinlys” is even worse.
…and why is there an emoji for broccoli?
You could get a whole philosophical paper out of that last question.
Also clueless dullards who refer to the internet as “t’internet”, or equally egregiously the “interweb”
The broccoli emoji 🥦 is slang for weed on Tiktok. It is often used by people who are trying to be subtle about their drug use.
Good gracious!
What I was getting at is why *wouldn’t* there be an emoji picture for broccoli? There are carrots, onions, potatoes…what’s wrong with broccoli joining in the “fun”?
Where does the philosophical paper come in, then? What are you implying, sir? Are you suggesting that my anti-broccoli bias is worthy of study?
Before you question “why?” in relation something or someone’s very existence – it is necessary to answer satisfactorily the “why not?” question before you do. If you do not have a credible answer to the “why not” question, asking “why?” is toddler-level petulance.
If a broccoli emoji was for some reason offensive to Methodists (say) – that would be an effective “why not” and your argument would be sound.
I have often wondered why we have Joe Pasquale….but I can’t come up with an ethical reason for him not to exist. So I keep my mouth shut on all matters Pasquale.
(That’s me told…”toddler-level petulance”…back in your box, fitter!)
It was an opportunity to ramble on with a load of old bollocks, which is something I like doing from time to time. I mean absolutely none of it.
‘Vinyls’, yes. Grrr.
When your dishwasher goes on the blink, you’re fairly sure it is a blocked inlet filter, you move the lever on the isolator valve to the ‘off’ position, unplug the dishwasher hose and… flood the kitchen with mains pressure cold water. Because the isolator valve mechanism has seized up.
Guess what I did today.
I did something similar when I replaced the washing machine a while ago.
2 isolator valves under the sink. Logic says the one on the left (nearest the washing machine) is the correct choice.
Nope …
Dull News update: I paid the local plumber £45 to replace the isolator valve. Dishwasher still not happy.
Took the dishwasher to bits and flushed out the float switch thingy as per the numerous YT videos. Dishwasher ran for 10 minutes, and then stopped.
Anyone know how to move a dishwasher full of water?
@fentonsteve I occasionally have to clean the outlet rotor on ours, which is under the filter, because stuff gets past the filter and jams it. A bit fiddly to get at and not nice to put your fingers into but a quick fix.
Thanks. I did that also, but the error message is low mains pressure. I also topped up the salt and rinse aid, just in case – I’m not going to get those back now.
Couldn’t you be really dull and, like, go back to washing dishes by hand?
I’ve been doing that for over two weeks now. It doesn’t help that Offspring the Elder is home for the Easter break, so two of us eat three meals a day and the two Offsprings graze. So I’m living in a student house again, and doing the washing up about 10 times a day.
@fentonsteve
Switch to paper plates or start recycling those unloved CDs
@fentonsteve
Another way to say goodbye to student house mealtime misery is to cobble together a DIY trough out of those old student staple Pot Noodle containers and buy a hose.
On a side note, why would anyone bother washing up Pot Noodle containers anyway?
@fentonsteve I’m on the edge of my seat, waiting to find out if you fixed your dishwasher!
Rest easy, Dave. After a week of reading ‘best dishwasher 2023’ reviews, I ordered a new Hotpoint from the JL website earlier today.
Our previous two were Neff or Indesit (~£300, lasted 5 years) and Bosch (£350, 3 years), and both were so nearly identical it seemed like they’d been made in the same factory, which it turns out they were – the Hotpoint factory.
The next cheapest on the JL site was a Neff (£450, winner of the BBC Good Food award) which included all kinds of rubbish like WiFi, remote control via an app, and all kinds of useless rubbish.
The Hotpoint is due to arrive on Thursday.
Best feature on our most recent one is the red light that shines in the floor to tell you it’s on, which usually stops us from opening the door mid cycle.
Our now scrap Bosch did that. The new Hoover one apparently opens the door when the cycle finishes to allow the contents to better dry off. That’s going to freak out the cat, who sleeps in the kitchen with a possessed domestic appliance.
Rest easy, everyone. John Lewis delivered a new Hotpoint dishwasher on Thursday and took the old Bosch away for recycling. I installed it on Saturday morning.
It is noticeably a bit, well, cheaply made and surprising how un-ergonomic the internal design is – can’t easily fit more than one saucepan, the cutlery tray is at lower back, making access awkward, the door doesn’t fully open horizontally so the rack rolls back inside, etc.
But it appears to wash the dishes alright. I won’t be buying another Hotpoint when this one dies, though.
More dishwasher news in just over two years, probably, given the two-year JL warranty.
@fentonsteve
The coronation won’t be the only reason old folk will be dancing in the street as the entire nation rejoices this weekend
I hate it when people mangle language unintentionally. When I do it, knowingly and deliberately, I think it positively Wildean.
I like verbing nouns. It weirds language.
(c) Watterson.
Could get confusing if you ever told the neighbours you were divorcing Mrs Ref and were about to court her.
Shouldn’t that be “Wildinian”?
Wildesque. You are thinking of bewildian, a confusing juxtaposition of metaphors.
Or a bewilderbeest
Or a Badly Drawn Boy album?
Or this.
Discovering, as I just have, that Scandi Noir is so called because there was no lighting budget. 8 hours of near black.
The Guardian’s repeated begging bowl every time you open a page on the site. In fact all similar pop-ups, cookie permissions, passwords, identifying every square containing a fire hydrant/traffic lights, captcha things which require 3 attempts to identify the chain of numbers/letters and finally – “Speedy Boarding” (its no such thing, you just pay to stand for longer in the queue waiting to board the plane)
I am 102 years old
I mentioned this on Twitter a while ago, and observed it again when I flew with a cheapo airline on Monday and Tuesday. I’ve watched people who had paid for the privilege queue at the gate (for up to an hour), queue at the bottom of the stairs to the tarmac, and queue again at the steps to the plane, all while I sat in a comfortable seat in the lounge before sauntering onboard. It’s not priority boarding, it’s priority queuing. You have a numbered seat and no one is going to take it away from you or fly without checking you’re on board.
The reason offered by those who do the queuing is they also pay to take a larger case on board, and want to make sure it is in an overhead locker adjacent to their seat.
Do EasyJet allocate seats, they didn’t used to. So being on plane first meant you could sit at the front and get off quicker at the other end.
What annoys me is when they announce “Boarding will begin soon, please remain seated until your group is called”, then everybody stands up and starts queuing
yes with easyJet you have to pay (if like me you’re built for comfort rather than speed) to ensure you get at least an aisle seat or a seat ‘upfront’. My most recent trip was a nightmare, partly of my own making as I booked on my phone’s app and tried to cut costs – nevertheless, I accidentally booked two hold bags when I only needed one (and there is no apparent means of cancelling that once booked) and I didn’t pay extra for extra legroom or selected a seat, meaning I was squashed rigid for the two hour flight in between two people fully loaded with bags, neck pillows, water bottles, buckets of coffee, cables, devices, etc.
And people struggle aboard with the maximum baggage possible meaning the frantic mashing of cases and bags into overhead lockers will crush any bags already in place is crazy. I can’t afford anything other than easyJet at the moment but given the option would quite cheerfully never fly with them ever again
At least you have those budget options, in Canada for internal or other North American flights the prices are crazy.
EasyJet and Ryanair both allocate seats now, but you have to pay if you want to pick one. If you don’t Ryanair make a point of seating people who book in together as far apart as possible while EasyJet will sit them together if possible.
@gatz – it is ridiculous, I quite agree. At Gatwick last week, SB simply meant a herd of passengers got past the bloke checking passports at the gate only to stand in a group waiting down the corridor thing to the plane door for a good half hour or so, as the rest of the passengers filed in behind them
While accept flights sometimes need to be delayed, abhor airlines’/airports’ policy of announcing flight delays in 30-, 45- or 60-minute increments.
As soon as you reach the new 1410 departure time for your delayed 1310 flight, the departure board clicks over and states “new departure time 1510” or even worse “TBC”
I get less tolerant of bores as I get older.
Hell is having to listen to someone banging on about YouTube conspiracy theories (Illuminati, Bohemian Grove, establishment paedophiles etc…) and not being able to get away.
The above accurately describes my current work situation.
Yes, I’m with you there. Apparently, any day now all of this will be out in the open. But what are the conspiracy theorists going to do with their lives when it is ?
Perhaps you could hint that you are, in fact, Illuminati yourself – and careless talk might result in…unpleasantness…for your work colleague.
Yes I like that approach.
“It’s not something I am able to talk about” and a stubborn refusal to elaborate will drive them nuts.
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CpJ6AFoJrv2/?igshid=MTIyMzRjYmRlZg==
Excuse me but I didn’t order any chilli peppers. Major hell.
Two phrases really grind my gears for no particular reason other than people just seem to throw them into their discussions as stock phrases to flesh out their sentences without considering what they mean:
– ‘it needed more character development’ (What does that actually mean? Do you mean the writing of the characters wasn’t developed enough before the final draft of the script? Do you mean the characters didn’t ‘develop’ during the story (and why is that a bad thing)? Or do you just mean you didn’t like the characters?)
– ‘way, shape or form’ (Way of what? Way to where? What shape? Isn’t shape the same as form in this context? Are you just using more words to try and sound more assertive?)
Also, the other daily annoyance which one day is really going to make me flip is little bits of eggshell in my omelette.
An omelette every day seems a tad excessive but then I’m not a great fan of the ovoid hen fruit.
I love ’em! Excessive? Pah!
I think character development is often necessary to care about them. And that helps with how involved you feel with what happens to them within a story. So pretty helpful I would say. How this is achieved is down to the skills of the writers and directors.
Spreading Weed & Feed on the lawn the day before a 97% chance of all-day heavy rain. And then the forecast changes to dry for the next week.
Bloody British weather. Either too wet, too cold, too dry or too warm!
A very minor hell, but watching Masterchef this evening I was increasingly irritated* by the swing doors between the kitchen and the tasting room, forcing contestants with two plates of carefully prepared food to kick them open or enter backwards ungracefully. It must be deliberate as surely the producers would have installed automatic doors by now?
*No, not irritated by Greg Wallace or John OtherChap – I quite like the presenters.
Don’t all restaurant kitchens have swing doors though? Navigating those is part of the skill of being in the restaurant business.