I’m a simple man, with simple tastes and I like a tradition. Christmas Day must involve roast turkey. I’m willing to try goose. Or swan. But I haven’t experimented thus far and I’m in my seventh decade. There must sprouts, carrots, roast potatoes, gravy and stuffing. I don’t mind broccoli or mashed potato. Cranberry sauce is rather nice, a special treat for a special day. I’ll even have a bash at different types of stuffing. Streaky bacon cooked with the bird is perfectly acceptable.
However, roast parsnips set me on edge. Bread sauce is pointless. Yorkshire puddings belong with beef. Chipolatas or pigs in blankets are for the children at the table who turn their noses up at turkey. Additional meat of any kind is surplus to my requirements. Peas are too samey. Cauliflower cheese is an abomination that has no place on a plate with a roast and gravy. Without the cheese, cauliflower is okay.
I wonder what Afterworders would like to see on their Christmas plate? I’m especially interested in vegetarian, vegan and piscivore options.