The Afterword

Musings on the byways of popular culture

Menu

Navigation

You are here: Home / Forum / We’ll have to watch these guys. Sounds like a hostile takeover bid for the Afterword

Comments

  2. To be honest, I don’t know how the mums on Mumsnet find the time to squander on the computer, what with all the mum things they have to do, like housework and cooking etc.

    • Really? I thought the problem was the other way round – finding time to do the mum stuff in between exchanging torrents of bile, vitriol and invective online.

  3. This place is nowhere approaching Mumsnet. There would have to be a LOT more swearing, and plenty of threads about awful MILs (Mother’s in Law), neighbour disputes and bridezillas.

    • There was a rumour that @Drakeygirl ventured in there once, but she was rescued by Orpheus, just about – racing up the steps from the depths, pursued by demonic incarnations of flaming handbags, exaggerated children’s school reports, totally out-of-hand neighbour disputes and Kirsty Alsopp.

  7. Mrs B enjoys Mumsnet, mainly for the message boards which appear to be torrents of filth and tales of mortification.

    Also, our daughter, noting her mother reading a Mumsnet page, once chirped up ‘Are you finding out how to be a better Mummy?’

    • Well, Colin actually there are a lot of very funny (as in amusing) posters on there, which is what attracts me in spite of the vitriol which I try to avoid. One woman started a thread called Booked the Wrong Hotel – Terrible Mistake. She then elaborated that she had failed to notice the hotel didn’t have a grand marble foyer for her 6 year old to walk over. This could have been a Mother of Invention thread (see above) but people cheerily piled in agreeing the holiday would now be a total disaster, one saying they always took marble flooring even on camping holidays because the tent wouldn’t be the same. Another suggested the OP order a lot of marble floor samples and take them away so she could reassemble them on arrival. Someone else posted a lot of photos of various hotel marble floors called Holiday Photos 2006-2010. It was a hoot.

      • It’s a fair cop, Carolina – truth is, I have never once visited Mumsnet and speak only from a position of knowing its reputation – and, as is customary for me, exaggerating it tenfold! What you mention does sound like good fun. Thing is, only a day or two before this thread was started I’d read (yet another) newspaper piece on a Mumsnet controversy, with various advertisers pulling their ads from it on the basis of rampant swearing, or something like that… ANYTHING one tends to read about the place in newspapers makes it sound like a bear-pit.

        • Yes it can be a Sweary Bear-Pit (TMFTL) especially the Talk subforum called AIBU which stands for Am I Being Unreasonable? where most of the spleen is vented. Mind you, I’ve often wondered how an AIBU? would look on the AW.

          But all human life is there if you search the whole Talk site, which I appreciate you may not exactly care to do. The Archers thread is usually very good-natured and there isn’t much aggro on the Housekeeping forum either, though reading the ‘Can I Clean My Shower with Pickling Vinegar?’ discussion probably wouldn’t float your boat!

          • Ah, it must be the AIBU subforum that’s the subject of the highly entertaining Twitter account Mumsnet Madness, with screenshots of OPs full of DHs, DDs, DSs and loads more mind boggling abbreviations.

            Dreadful, dreadful people; tremendously funny.

            • ‘Dreadful, dreadful people; tremendously funny’.

              Yes, that just about sums AIBU up. Hard to tear yourself away from the horror.

              There’s even a Mumsnet sub-Reddit which seems to consist of tearing into other posters.

              Having said that the Style and Beauty , Archers and SEN subforums are generally nice and supportive; although a thread in S&B titled ‘Should I wear false lashes before going into labour?’ has caused some…. discussion.

              As noted above, if you think the AW gets tetchy sometimes, just pop over to AIBU.

              • The False Eyelashes before labour, oh that is hilarious. I bet it really kicked off. Another way to ensure a “healthy debate” on S & B is for one poster to go on about how they’ve spent thousands of pounds on a designer handbag and then people will have endless pages worth of how much or little they think it is morally right to expend.

                • Any and every designer handbag thread (did I really just type that?)

                  – I have £2,000 to spend on a bag; what would you recommend?

                  – x 4 replies: [insert names of designer bags here]

                  -That’s an obscene amount of money to spend on a bag. Why don’t you donate the money to a homeless charity/a food bank/go on holiday with your poor CHILDREN;

                  – I work for my money/my DH wants to buy me an anniversary gift, I’ll spend my money how I like;

                  – But will nobody think of the CHILDREN? [or foodbanks, or the homeless];

                  – It’s her right as a WOMAN to spend her money as she likes;

                  – Why are women so obsessed with their appearance and so vacuous and not finishing their PhDs instead?

                  – This is Style and Beauty- what did you expect?

                  – We should respect every woman’s choices: Mulberry bag, Chanel bag, preloved bag, Waitrose bag, Tesco carrier bag (but not Vuitton. Never Vuitton);

                  -Why oh why do women always turn on each other?

                  [end thread]

                  Also replace ‘designer bags’ with the cosmetic surgery of your choice, rinse and repeat.

                • ‘My DH wants to spend £2000 on a new designer bike/vinlys/Xbox game bundle. AIBU in being a FPO and asking him to spend it on #makingmemories with the #famalam on a nice #holibobs?’

  9. I’ll say this for Mumsnet. If your moving home and checking out places to relocate, it’s a great way to find out what places to avoid. ‘Skateparks’, (oh no)…..’not good for teenagers’, ‘very quiet’, ‘local pub old fashioned and doesn’t have a play area’ etc. Bliss.

      • There is a school of thought which suggests that beginning any statement with “Speaking as a parent…” contains a form of passive-aggressive implication that whatever you are about to declaim comes tinged with an already world-weary moral superiority to which non-breeders can only wistfully aspire. That *sound effect* is me being bundled to the floor by adherents of this theory.

  11. I tell you what, there’s a few regulars here who would poop their big boy pants if they were exposed to a fraction of the hostility the average Mumsnet user puts up with. It’s vicious in there.

    • What you have to do is post a request to be let into the Porn Suite. Specify an initial area of interest – MILF seems to work – and later, when you’ve been accepted, they let you into the private rooms at the back. Remember to specify penis length, and attach a photograph if possible.

      Let us know how you get on!

        • @RubyBlue I have not, but after this rather hectic weekend – when I have accrued some special “me” time- I shall investigate. Thanks!

          Oh and PS, for an important mesagge like this you should really use the hyphen not the underscore on the old “member callout” thing. Thanks in advance. Luckily I’ve been F5-ing this page for the last fourteen hours, so I didn’t miss your post!

          • Oh so glad you didn’t miss my message. Be interested in your thoughts on ‘Exploring my bi side’.

            Enjoy the long weekend, hun, make sure to get in your ‘me’ time and ‘self-care’.

  14. THREE LADIES IN A SAUNA.

    THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A
    SAUNA.

    SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND
    THE BEEP STOPPED.

    THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. “THAT WAS MY PAGER,” SHE SAID. “I
    HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.”

    A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM
    TO HER EAR.

    WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, “THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A
    MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.”

    THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW-TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD
    TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT
    TO THE BATHROOM.

    SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

    THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.

    THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID…”WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT…I’M
    GETTING A FAX!”

Leave a Reply