Word of warning though, can easily be confused with the other over the counter drug “Niagara”, which loosens all sphinctral resistance and quickly evacuates both bowel and bladder. Kills the mood a little – but we British press on don’t we?
Hmm. My post didn’t have quite the thickness I expected, despite my repeated hammering away.
I shall of course be returning to Superdrug to demand my money back, and shall show the young lady at the counter photographs to illustrate my predicament.
Well, let us celebrate British humour in all its subtlety. Shall we now turn from cocks to bums, or from the dryness of fannies to their moisture? Or shall we return to farts, or perhaps turds even? Or what about the sizes of A-Worders’ tits?
A Canadian friend of mine was divorced after many years of marriage. When he er got back in the saddle again he was a little nervous that his performance wouldn’t reach the required levels so invested in some Viagara. He took more than he was supposed to hoping it would guarantee success. Unfortunately he ended up with a stiffy that lasted for several hours, was very uncomfortable and he couldn’t get rid of.
Be careful out there you guys.
How may times did he come? And didn’t that make any difference at all to the `’stiffy`’? And what about his meeting the criteria for “success”, as you put it? Whose success did it end up being, if anyone’s? Or did you only inquire into the matter at a very superficial level?
Oh cheer up, FFS. It’s one thing to have a bit of an argument about an actual topic, but is you wandering about the site picking fights and telling us we’re shit really making anyone happier? What’s more feeble than that?
Yes, well done. Sorry for invading your space with my bad personality and foreign (lack of) culture. I think I’m going to start a militant pride movement with others as similarly deprived, called Sugah of the World Unite.
To maintain peak performance in this thread I have written a limerick. No need to thank me.
There was an old Greek god called Priapus
Whose dick was the size of an omnibus
They said, ‘F’kin’ ‘ell,’
He said, ‘Might as well,
I’ve more than enough for the three of us.’
Expect some hard bargaining.
Is it expensive? Wouldn’t want to get stiffed…
Will it be inflation proof?
Everything’s going up these days.
Better than a stiff upper lip.
Will it be hard to get..?
I’m not sure you’re fully grasping this.
I won’t stand for this.
Wood that that were true.
You won’t let it lie
I’m intrigued that it’s now called Viagra Connect. Were people, er abusing it?
This is probably the moment to reveal that if you have prostate cancer you get Viagra free on the National Elf. Every cloud, etc…
Will billboards advising of this be erected ?
That’s a bit unfair to those who prefer doing it in a bed.
😂
Word of warning though, can easily be confused with the other over the counter drug “Niagara”, which loosens all sphinctral resistance and quickly evacuates both bowel and bladder. Kills the mood a little – but we British press on don’t we?
I should be able to take advantage of both!
JJ.😉😮
Shouldn’t this be in “Nights In” ?
(Shopkeeper with a hearing aid)
“Can I help you?”
(Customer) “Packet of Viagra please!”
“Come again?”
“Certainly hope so!”
What an outstanding post.
Presumably as a result of some stiff competition?
Thanks for enlarging this thread and helping it to go on a bit longer.
He’s expanded on the original point.
The length of this is making me uncomfortable.
… Oh, don’t get sore!
It’s not the size of the thread that matters. It’s how long we can keep it up.
Not just the length.
The giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttthhhhhhhh
Yeah I hate it when you get those weeny little skinny ones over to the right. Deeply unsatisfying.
Hmm. My post didn’t have quite the thickness I expected, despite my repeated hammering away.
I shall of course be returning to Superdrug to demand my money back, and shall show the young lady at the counter photographs to illustrate my predicament.
There are 722 of us who can vouch for your unblemished record in court.
I have asked for an earlier blemish to be taken into consideration.
*Clears throat*
It’ll never stand up in court.
*Acknowledges applause*
Silence!
I’ll bang my gavel if you aren’t careful.
Have any of you tried Viagra tea bags?
It doesn’t taste very nice but it stops your biscuit going soft.
😂😂😂
If we keep this up it could be the standout post of the week.
Will it turn my 7″ flexi into a 180g 12-incher?
What this thread deserves is some sort of monument erected to it’s upstanding nature.
Maybe something a bit like this…
Or this:
The one in your photo appears to be ribbed for pleasure, Peter…
Isn’t that the new Mount Rushmore image of Trump?
Well, let us celebrate British humour in all its subtlety. Shall we now turn from cocks to bums, or from the dryness of fannies to their moisture? Or shall we return to farts, or perhaps turds even? Or what about the sizes of A-Worders’ tits?
Is there such a thing as the humorless arse?
Are you impugning the quality of this thread?
Do you, in short, believe it to be a load of old cock?
In short, huh?
Moose has the biggest tits.
And why do they call you mini, pray tell?
It’s the extent of her patience.
This thread is for members only
No need to be a dick about it.
A Canadian friend of mine was divorced after many years of marriage. When he er got back in the saddle again he was a little nervous that his performance wouldn’t reach the required levels so invested in some Viagara. He took more than he was supposed to hoping it would guarantee success. Unfortunately he ended up with a stiffy that lasted for several hours, was very uncomfortable and he couldn’t get rid of.
Be careful out there you guys.
How may times did he come? And didn’t that make any difference at all to the `’stiffy`’? And what about his meeting the criteria for “success”, as you put it? Whose success did it end up being, if anyone’s? Or did you only inquire into the matter at a very superficial level?
Trying to think of puerile puns for this thread is a struggle – it’s certainly got my head throbbing anyway.
They’ve all been pretty puerile so far, haven’t they, starting with “Ithangyew!”?
???
Er… yes.
You may be similarly disappointed to find that on the “Soon be Christmas” thread a lot of the posts seem to be about Christmas.
Sorry again, sugah!
I wasn’t referring to the topic but to the quality of the humour. A thread that depends entirely on puns is not disappointing, not even close.
As for Christmas, well that IS a crappy topic. But I have a feeling that Bob sometimes aims to disappoint.
Big tits! Try adding some sugar and see if you get a lick. The yank is in Kentucky BTW.
Well, we can’t all keep up with your high standards. Sugah.
Feeble riposte
Oh cheer up, FFS. It’s one thing to have a bit of an argument about an actual topic, but is you wandering about the site picking fights and telling us we’re shit really making anyone happier? What’s more feeble than that?
I’m sure you’re right, for what it’s worth.
What else did you expect the thread to depend on? The clue was in the OP.
Reading any particular thread isn’t compulsory, you know…
True. Just bored, that’s all. Something about the time of year, I think.
An angry, throbbing presence that always seems to pop up at the end.
Sorry I couldn’t match the LLITTLE contribution you made so early on (sorry, I guess you do shoot your little bolt a bit early).
Know what you mean, Moose – it’s very, very hard. Especially first thing in the morning.
Urban myth, Steve, doesn’t work like that, even if it’s a funny tale.
Fuckin ‘ell, at least Niscum seemed to enjoy himself…
A mate of mine uses viagra eye drops to make him look hard.
Can we get back to the puerile nonsense now please? This thread has gone very limp.
It’s ok. It happens to lots of threads. Honestly, it’s not a problem. Let’s just try again in a few minutes.
It’s not you, it’s me.
That said, can we have the light off?
20 mins later…
Hoi! Wake up!
Wuh?! Oh! Sorry!
Will you two stop bickering? I’m trying to do the crossword!
I’m now imagining the three of us in our PJs and dressing gowns, sitting up in bed reading and bickering, Morecambe and Wise style.
…..he’ll never sell any icecreams travelling at that speed!
Haha!
(You two can make breakfast, btw.)
I can’t do that without any music on…
Careful with that chopper!
Me grapefruit!
Apologies, it was your thread after all, and it’s your call.
I’m trying to think of another double-entendre but it’s too hard.
Keep at it, something will come up!
Yes, usually when your partner has given up and fallen asleep.
Well, I think this little thread is now a success. You should all give yourselves a big, er, hand. If you’ve got the energy at this stage.
I for one shall be rubbing my hands together with pleasure.
Congratulations on this thread’s success. I was worried that it was going to flop.
It almost did until we all pulled together.
No thank you, mini. We are all grateful that you’ve been so accommodating.
This thread’s still up!?
Yes, well done. Sorry for invading your space with my bad personality and foreign (lack of) culture. I think I’m going to start a militant pride movement with others as similarly deprived, called Sugah of the World Unite.
This thread appears to have gone limp at 89 comments. Let’s see if we can get it up to 100.
Golly, it’s risen!
It’s getting harder to keep going
Maintaining the necessary thrust is the problem. We must stand firm.
I’ll just put my small contribution in here to keep the old pot boiling.
WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD POT!!!?
Not who…. what!
😷
Quick, before it dries on your pants,
(What?)
Useful if you’re prone to falling out of bed.
To maintain peak performance in this thread I have written a limerick. No need to thank me.
There was an old Greek god called Priapus
Whose dick was the size of an omnibus
They said, ‘F’kin’ ‘ell,’
He said, ‘Might as well,
I’ve more than enough for the three of us.’
Doesn’t scan.
Yes it does.
Viagra!
Spray-on starch was always good enough for me.