“Charles,” said Cordelia, “Modern Art is all bosh, isn’t it?”
“Great bosh.”
“Oh, I’m so glad. I had an argument with one of our nuns and she said we shouldn’t try to criticise what we didn’t understand. Now I shall tell her I have had it straight from a real artist, and snubs to her.”
‘Very beautiful’ portrait
by 61 Comments
£1.5m!!!
According to the article, the painting is “based on” this photo. Clearly Peyton doesn’t do thumbs.
“Fuck noo, they’s two uv ’em!” as an audience member at the Glasgow Hippodrome famously shouted when Mike Winters smarmed onstage to join his gormless brother, Bernie
Can anybody tell me what is the point of painting a portrait from a photograph? It’s not like the 17th century before cameras were invented, we have the photograph
I can’t imagine Liam having the patience to sit still for any period of time for his portrait and you don’t have to listen to a photograph talk.
You could console yourself with the decidedly cheery realisation that every tube of paint used in the execution of this is a tube of paint that hasn’t been used by Robbie Williams. Works for me.
I wasn’t aware that Williams dabbled in art. I’ve just looked up his work on my computer’s internet and to be honest, I like his ceramics of Jesus and the Pope.
Coincidentally, I watched Better Man last night. One of the better rock/pop biopics, I thought. Having him played by a CGI monkey was a genius choice.
He has hidden shallows.
I had the misfortune to work with Robbie and the bloke who actually did all the “work” a few years ago when they had a selling exhibition of “his” paintings. They were appalling. It was awful, awful, really really awful.
Testify brother, testify. He’s one of a tedious number who should learn to keep their balls off other people’s lawns.
We always have a croquet mallet lying around for such eventualities. We will help him with his falsetto.
That would be an act of selfless socially minded compassion. I’m tearing up here at the thought.
I find portraiture a bit of a weird concept. There are exceptions of course but this example does not change that opinion.
Cripes.
On first glance I thought this looked as if it might portray Paul Weller and his hithertofore unknown twin brother. When I discovered (someone had to tell me) who it was supposed to represent, I realised it was an attempted portrait of The Jammiest Musical Counterfeiter in the world and his unfortunately well known, and equally talent-free, younger brother.
Seeing the post’s title I thought it was going to be a new official portrait of the satsuma suppository.
I’m reminded of the Renaissance painting in one of the Monty Python’s books, a beautiful rendition until we reach the hands which have been erased; scrubbed and crossed out “DÀMMIT”
Or possibly Zaphod Beeblebrox.
I knew a chap who couldn’t paint feet so he painted all his subjects, if he absolutely had to paint their lower extremities as if they were standing in a bucket or a box. Portraiture wasn’t really for him, not his forte. The last time I saw him he was driving a bus.
Maybe he could’ve painted them driving a bus, no feet on show.
I don’t think Norman would’ve been capable of that kind of ‘out of the box’ thinking.
Badum and a touch of tight.
Tish
Up for auction estimated price £1.5 million. A veritable snip a bit like the bar of Toblerone I just saw for sale at my local Morrisons for £60 on special offer for Father’s Day reduced from it’s usual rrp of £80.
Sixty quid for a bar of Toblerone??
Frame it and keep it in a good light.
Must be Dubai Toblerone.
I even pointed out this ‘bargain’ to a fellow customer and asked for their opinion. We were both flummoxed. It was in fairness a very large bar of Toblerone but even so. £60!
Re absence of thumbs. This is a simian feature is it not? Perhaps the artist is trying to tell us something.
Not so much thumbs aloft as thumbs adrift. Maybe Macca called copyright.
Have a, erm, thumbs up!
Looks like Jedward.
The band Oasis could have been
How about Billy Connolly? He has a certain style.
https://www.castlefineart.com/uk/artists/billy-connolly
I won’t even begin to express my feelings about Castle Fine Art as an enterprise or I’d be here all week.
Well, it’s not in a castle, there is nothing fine about it and it doesn’t sell art. Can’t the trades description people do something?
Last time I walked past, they were selling Dylan paintings and, before that, Ron Wood. They are fond of a sleb dabbler.
They peddled the wobble – boarded kangaroo bondage obsessed kiddie fiddlers atrocities at one time. They never knowingly sell art.
If someone just showed me that I would say it would cost maybe 100 quid. The art world is quite confusing for me.
It’s fabulously awful!
To me it brings to mind the work you always encounter in the GCSE/ Lower 6th sections of schools when you visit to meet your kid’s teachers & talk about ‘options’.
Plenty of gusto & you can generally make out who it’s supposed be, but you really wouldn’t dream of giving it house room.
I’d value it at about £18, which I’m sure is well below the cost of the materials it consists of.
However, if it makes somebody else happy at whatever price, good luck to them.
It seems there have been other attempts to capture the essence of the Gallaghers. Clearly all of them are doomed to failure.
At least they’re not wearing lippy in this effort.
At least if you squint at that one, with the sun in the right direction and after some thought, you might say, “Er, is it meant to be, oh, I dunno … Noel and Liam?”
Re the other one, if I hadn’t read the story, I’d never have known it was allegedly N’n’L.
I’m no artist, but when I see some of the work on display in galleries, I often wonder whether somewhere there’s an artist laughing themselves silly because they’ve got away with selling a work they know is a load of old tat to somebody with more money than sense.
I like how the eyebrows follow you about the room.
I don’t it’s creeping me out. Sentient eyebrows! It’s like something out of Dr Who.
Well played.
This thread has inspired me to give some thought as to how I would tackle making an image of these two wee rapscallions. I haven’t been so juiced up as to reach for a sketchbook as of yet and I doubt I ever will be tbh but after about ten minutes of serious thought I think “doin’ em” as a fotofit would work best for me. Loaded in subtext innit.
I’d love to see what you could do with Trump and Netanyahu.
It’d get bigly bloody.
I see two far more hideous portraits each time I visit my sister’s house and walk past the two portraits of his far from distinguished (or distinguished-looking) ancestors her hubby has hung on either side of the staircase.
The clothing shown being early 19th century in style, it is easy to imagine some enterprising brushie banging out dozens of canvases with blank spaces for the faces which he could then fill in each time he got a new commission.
When I jokingly pointed out this 1880s Snappy Snap business model to my brother-in-law, he was not a happy man.
Oasish.
Oafish
Hanging’s too good for it.
They’re no oil paintings, are they?
That is, manifestly, shit.
Definitely
Maybe
Don’t Look Back In Umber.
Sham Paint Supernova.
Shit Gouache and Alcohol
Wonder (What Art Lover Will Put That on Their) Wall
Blunderwall.
Hung in a Bad Place.
Did the “artist” go to the same art school as the guy who did that Ronaldo statue?
And/or did Liam request that Noel’s head would be replaced by an equally bad likeness of Robert Pattinson’s head?
Did Liam’s thumbs and Noel’s hands get cut off as a punishment for stealing (style, melodies, song titles etc)?
So many questions…
Oh.