A beaming Donald Trump, dressed in traditional Santa garb, dispensed festive pardons from the balcony of the White House today. Reaching into his sack for another seasonal get-out-of-jail-free card, he said “Merry Covfefe from your favourite president! Here’s that long-awaited pardon for Pol Pot!”
A packed crowd of up to a dozen faithful White House staff sang (I’m Dreaming Of A) Trump Christmas as their President essayed a few waist-up dance moves before being stretchered off.
Gilles de Rais, Countess Elizabeth Báthory, Richard Nixon …
Vogue.
I think Gerald Ford got in there first to pardon Nixon.
Why would that stop Trump? They’re all dead. He doesn’t know anything.
… we didn’t start the fire
It’s the end of the world as we know it and the vandals took the handles.
I’m not sure how to tread on this thread. Be serious or just gangplank away with dark humour.
With your permission I’m going to rearrange this to more of a headline.
In a burst of Yuletide goodwill, President Trump pardons Hitler, Vlad The Impaler. Details to follow…
Has he pardoned Beelezeebub yet? He’s probably saving that for the grand finale.
👏👏👏
Will he pardon Boris, tho?
I’m a little uneasy about this. On the one hand it’s the Afterword. On the other the man pardoned Mercenaries.
Can I have some guidance from the elders on how to proceed?
Such an infinitesimally small soul in such a craven pygmy of a man. Yet such a putrid stench from him it envelops the world.
He’ll never see justice or the prison he deserves. I was deeply wrong in thinking he’d win the electoral college. I truly hope I’m wrong about prison.
I can’t imagine the USA ever imprisoning a former President but you never know?
I can imagine it. I’m doing it now.
If you’ve been following the complex grand jury processes and the SDNY state charges (leaving federal charges out of the picture for the moment) being prepared by them you will realise that imprisonment is a real possibility – even probability. Too good to be true? Trump getting elected was too bad to be true.
Indeed, HP. There are at least two investigations that ought to have him doing porridge champing at the bit to get him in the dock at 12:01 pm on the 20th.
Biden’s aim is to move on and not spend time and political capital pursuing the corrupt bullying fucker, but Trump has been blatant in his infamy. He’s already been impeached, lest we forget. I don’t see how such behaviour can’t be pursued or what is the point of the checks and balances.
It’ll be interesting to see if SDNY move quickly against him. I think there’s a good chance he’ll leave the US quickly to avoid the possibility of imprisonment.
The fucker will probably come here and replace Dominic Cummings as Boris Johnson’s Special Advisor. Or perhaps Putin will give him a job in Moscow.
Almost nothing would surprise me from of this living cartoon villain. I did think he’d make a break for Moscow on a private jet during his impeachment. Though how that could have been attempted given his swaddling in layer upon layer of Secret Service and military protection is not really a debate.
Once he’s ditched by them and none of his work passes work anymore then yes I can see the fool having a go.
Having now “done my research” – bleeurgh – it looks to me like the SDNY cases might very well struggle to put him away. Or at least that he’ll be able to delay and obfuscate until he dies. Which is a shame.
For normal people to be under permanent legal duress would be an almost intolerable strain, but for your Grade A, solid gold narcissist sociopath it’s water off a duck’s back.
But would that apply in the case of a Grade A, solid gold narcissist sociopath who runs out of money to pay his lawyers?
Will his financial backers stick with him for the length of time the cases he needs to delay and obfuscate keep churning through the courts?
Possibly not, but have you seen his latest con to suck money out of his followers (dressed up in “please help us fight this stolen election” clothes)? It’s raking in the loot apparently.
Yes and a significant percentage can legally be siphoned off to Trump personally, I forget the details.
It’s not Impossible to get the facts out for the wider public. It’s convincing them that’s the challenge.
Just a point of order: it’s good form to wait for @Vulpes-Vulpes to start these “hell in a handcart” pieces. We shouldn’t all just pile in with them, scattering them liberally throughout the, er, forum, you know, the place will look messy.
What happened to @helena-handcart?
Whatever happened to me?
What became of the people we used to be?
Oh Gawd, stop it. Any more and I’ll be reaching for the sherry, early doors.
Pour yourself a reasonably sized schooner and settle back, Mo – I’m sure Foxy will be along later.
??”early doors”? Bloody hell. We’ll be calling people “LEGEND!!” next.
Cheer up Rodney, I’ve got five more beers here, and there’s water in the tap; run yourself a glass and join me on the sofa.
Waiting for my daddio
There’s water in the tap-o
Hmmm, I think I know why they changed that.
Are you watching The Royal Tenenbaums too? Good innit? Cheers. Hic!
Nominative determinism, Moosey.
Helena’s probably chosen another name and is lying low until it all blows over.
I can now reveal that Helena Handcart is mrbellows, a character she built a narrative for after bricameron was booted from what used to be the “blog”.
In a world where Donald Trump happened, we’re in the grip of a pandemic that’s mutating, the planet is melting or burning or drowning, we’ve been barricaded onto our little island, and Jesy has left Little Mix the scariest thing remains the fact that 75 million Americans still felt that 4 more years of the orange walking talking puss filled ball bag was the best option.
If your church tells you he’s the godly choice, you vote for him. Never underestimate the power of the US evangelical lobby. They sell him to their congregations as a King David figure, flawed and sinful but doing the Lord’s work. I’m not kidding.
And before we get too smug, I know people who voted for Brexit because they’re evangelicals and their pastor told them to. Can’t really imagine doing exactly what a priest tells me, but then I’m C of E, so maybe I’m not used to seeing priests as anything more than nice old sorts who do a bit of mild stand-up comedy once a week and then dole out the wafers.
Ps: the Trump-McConnell axis of stupid-evil/evil-evil promised the god squad a packed federal bench at all levels. That’s what they got. No wonder they love him.
I have an old mate who is now a Born Again Evangelical. A few years ago I asked him why he was backing Brexit considering that back in the day we were both liberal, free-minded left-leaning softies. I haven’t heard a word from him since, not even a Christmas card, nada, zilch.
What do the God Botherers think is Evil about the EU?
Because it’s foreign and doesn’t follow in the footsteps of the Lord (who of course was an Englishman)
Those feet in ancient times walked upon England’s mountains green, in sandals with Argyll socks.
Born Again Evangelical ≠ Christian
And while Christian ≠ Evangelical, Evangelical ≠ right-wing fucknugget.
Do they give out wafers in C of E? I thought that was only a Catholic thang.
Yes they do – they’re basically the same as Catholics.
Happy to point out the difference- The consecration. That’s the big difference between them. As it’s Christmas Eve I’ll share you the sermon.
No worries and merry Christmas to you. It was a (weak) attempt at humour.
The new prog triple album from Transubstantiation is out soon.
And to you sir
I fear the most read headlines on the BBC this morning give an insight into public priorities, and I can’t really blame them after the battering the ‘proper’ news has given us this year.
The Teigen story is shaded, so you obviously clicked on it. Not judging.
*totally judges*
hahalol
I did! But only to find who ‘Teigen’ is. John Legend’s other half I discovered.
Oh John Legend, he’s got a good voice. Not a very interesting observation, but there you go.
Difficult to tell real headlines from Chris Morris et al’s ‘The Day Today’.
Bong! ‘UK closes Denmark corridor after mink Covid scare’. Bong! ‘Sausage King killed in Moscow in crossbow attack’.
‘Those are the headlines; God I wish they weren’t…’
– Teenage boy roasts himself in sacrifice to Chris Kelly
– Nato annuled after delegate swallows treaty
…..and sacked chimney-sweep pumps boss full of mayonnaise.
From palmerreport:
“Michael Cohen is telling CBS News that the grand jury probe “has to do with his finances, it has to do with his tax returns, it has to do with his properties, it has to do with the personal financial statements that he had made and provided in order to obtain loans.” Cohen added that while portions of the New York probe are civil, other portions are indeed criminal.
In other words, New York is indeed in the process of criminally indicting Donald Trump on various financial charges. These kinds of crimes essentially always result in convictions, and Trump can’t even try to pardon himself on state charges. In other words, Trump really is going to prison.”
It’s not like we don’t have other worries to occupy us. When he’s gone, he’ll be quickly forgotten because people will be grateful not to have to look at his face or listen to what he says any more, in or out of jail. He’s already Yesterday’s Man.
Except, he’s not. Wishful thinking. I’m excited to see how far this is going to go. I don’t have kids.
I don’t think he will go to prison. It just isn’t going to happen.
I believe that President Biden will pardon/absolve him of any & all offences & will ask states to do the same for the sake of national unity.
He can’t pardon him of state crimes, and has no power to ask states to do so. If you think the governor of NY would feel minded to pardon Donald Trump, try googling “Andrew Cuomo Donald Trump”.
The only reason I think Trump would get off is because I’ve learned not to want nice things.
Not only are state crimes unpardonable, and they’re the ones already on the books and being investigated by grand juries (which only convene when there is enough evidence to warrant the process), but Biden has explicitly stated he will not interfere with any actions taken against Trump by his new DOJ. Pardons are off the table, and Donald is on the hook. Any one of the fraud/obstruction charges waiting for him will be enough to take care of him for the rest of his life. He has no magic powers as an “ordinary” citizen, and he can only count on a bunch of farting clowns to act as his attorneys. It’s a matter of time. Time when we will have far weightier things to deal with than the fate of a has-been grifter.
Aww, that’s nice to read on a Boxing Day morning. Let’s hope, though I suspect at the very end of it all the justice we see won’t be what’s deserved.
Even so, just to see him at the beginning of proceedings in cuffs being escorted to a police vehicle with a piss eyed scowl on his malevolent face will be very satisfying *does a Chef’s kiss*
Let’s hope his idiot kids and their spouses are dragged in too otherwise there’s a risk of one of them running for President in the next election.
Amen brother
What either side in US politics could do with right now is a well-loved music/movie/TV figure to be their next presidential candidate. One who is definitely “with” their program, whatever it might be, and can be relied upon to front their operation reliably, without alienating sensible people. Rather like Ronald Reagan successfully did for the Republicans from ’81 to ’89.
I wonder if Bruce Springsteen could be persuaded to run for the Democrats in 2024 ..
2025: President Morrissey approves capital punishment for blessed DJs
Could never happen as he’s not US-born. Even in the UK, those who like his music wouldn’t vote for him.
Assuming the breakup of the UK, Paul McCartney or Alan Bennett might swing it for England. Billy Connolly for sure in Scotland. Wales and Norn Iron are a bit trickier to guess.
Wales: Manic Street Preachers and/or Cerys Matthews
Norn Iron: Van The Man. Or Snow Patrol could re-record Chasing Votes
You can’t have tinfoil hat-wearing nutjobs in charge of Northern Ireland. er…
Someone like Tom Hanks perhaps?
Mike Moore writes at some length in one of his books that Oprah Winfrey would be very electable and possibly a great President. Perhaps one thing DT has shown us is that it can be done.
Another update from the usually reliable Palmer Report:
“The Manhattan District Attorney has brought on forensic accounting specialists to pin down Donald Trump’s criminal decision to use campaign money to buy the silence of Stormy Daniels. This is just one of numerous financial crimes that the DA is targeting Trump for. Recent reports have the charges ranging from insurance fraud to mortgage fraud, all started when the DA convinced the grand jury to subpoena Trump’s tax returns.
This criminal case from the Manhattan District Attorney can put Donald Trump in prison, and can also ask a jury to seize Trump’s assets. This is in addition to the New York Attorney General’s civil case into the Trump Organization’s finances, which can also fine Trump or seize his assets. The walls are closing in on Trump in New York, and he can’t even try to pardon himself on any of it.”
The irony of all this is that when the vile grifter gets thrown into prison, we won’t care that much. We’ll be too busy trying to stay alive and fed to worry about his fate, or even have a well-deserved gloat (how I wish there was a long German word for “gloat” I could use to impress readers with my “nuance”).