Clearly Fat Boy wouldn’t know what that is a reference to, but this isn’t about The Doors.
The 20th May 2020 jaunt in the garden of No. 10 surely has to signal the end of Johnson as Prime Minister.
I’m absolutely gob-smacked that a person who so obviously lies through his teeth at every available opportunity ( and no, they don’t “all do it”) has been given life after life after life.
If I was younger, in need of funds, I would see his morals and bending of the truth for his own convenience, as a red light to do whatever I pleased to get ahead for myself.
If those grey men in the Tory Party were so vexed (rightly… finally) at the end of last year about the December 2020 gathering, this has to be the final straw.
I got a prediction wrong last week (Australia 5 England 0… hurrah!), but surely this time next month Fat boy J. won’t be Prime Minister any more.
We’ll see!
I squirm when he, and others, won’t confirm or deny or even attempt to answer a straight question about whatever misdemeanour they’ve been accused of this particular week. I’d be a hopeless politician.
Oh yeah? What happened to “beautiful”?
*sulks*
Doubt if he’ll go within the next month – whatever else you can say about the Tories, they know how to win elections and aren’t going to dump their leader – however unpopular – until a time it suits them to do so.
My guess is that time will come after the local elections in May – or roughly halfway through the life of the current parliament.
All of which will give Johnson’s putative replacements plenty of time to rally their support and set out their stalls. With a massive majority, getting shot of Bojo before summer will also give them plenty of scope to try and refloat their electoral boat.
Spot on.
He’s not going anywhere because of this, however hypocritical the whole thing is
However combined with a NI tax hike in April and massive energy bill increases, I think it could get interesting this year.. people only really revolt when it hits their pocket
Five o’clock tonight, Downing Street Press Conference.
“Only decent thing for me to do is resign”. Small pause. Big smirk. “Tee hee, only joking”.
He’ll be blustering and obfuscating at us for some while to come.
He doesn’t care, I think. Not fundamentally. He’s simply being himself and following his destiny of being World King. Look at him at any PMQ. Gesticulating and pointing and letting the hatred wash across him. He’s playing. Very possibly like he did in his schoolroom and bedroom.
He’ll be allowed to ride this one out again through delays to enquiries, reviews of such and on and on and on while he points at the Opposition, Mr Speaker.
The longer he stays in no. 10 the better, cos every day more and more voters are seeing him for what he is, as demonstrated in his plummeting popularity in the polls. Our best chance of defeating the Tories is if he can stay in power until close to the next election, followed by a bombshell a week or two before election night.
We also could do with some sort of shift in Scotland though, because whilst the SNP hold nearly all the seats up there, it’s a very big ask for Labour to get a majority. And any coalition between Labour and the SNP would surely rest on whether Labour would grant another referendum on leaving the union, which, if successful, would reduce Labour to being a minority government.
But for now, long may he continue to take the government down the toilet.
Not just taking the government (such as it is) but the country ‘down the toilet’ alas.
@Paul-Wad
Do you seriously think the Tories haven’t twigged that Labour’s “best chance” is to keep Johnson there until as close as possible to the next election and to hope for one or two bombshells close to the day of the vote?
Agree with you about Labour “getting some sort of shift in Scotland” though.Sadly, that ship has long since sailed.
Ultimately, Labour’s best chance of winning back some of Scotland and the red wall seats they lost in 2019 is to come up with some credible ideas and policies.
While Starmer is on the right track, he still has a looooooooooonnnnng way to win outright power in the face of a majority I don’t think has ever been overturned in UK electoral history.
Given the disastrous fall out from the Clinton/Trump, Corbyn/Johnson and Trump/Biden elections, think voters will be a lot more savvy when it comes to voting against candidates rather than for them
next time around
I don’t think Starmer is on any track let alone the right one. Being attacked by him is like being hit by a wet lettuce. Not suitable as a leader of the opposition and the Tories know this. Bojo is a complete twat but the population at large buy into his personality sadly. The number of work colleagues who think he is doing a good job is scary. They disregard his lying as something that all politicians do> Oh, so that makes it alright then?
Unbelievable.
Same as a lot of people l know. Depressing thinking ahead.
Still, look on the bright side. Trump will be back soon.
Not at all! I’m 52 and fully resigned to never seeing anything other than a Tory government in my lifetime. Without Scotland Labour have no chance.
You mean as long as it suits the SNP to have s Conservative government in Westminster. Which it always will, with or without independence.
“We also could do with some sort of shift in Scotland though.”
Oh could you really? How arrogant. How English.
We in Scotland could really use some sort of shift from England.
I think we can safely assume there are going to be pictures released soon which is why Boris won’t comment. They’re clearly holding off to see if he denies being there first but that’s not going to happen. If there is evidence clearly showing him in attendance surely he’s a goner?
@dkhbrit
Have it on good authority from a “well-placed source” that the only visual evidence they have of Bojo being at the gatherings are blurry images of his fat arse bestriding the Downing Street photocopier
There’s an intrusive thought I’m gonna struggle to shift today.
At least the guests escaped his charms
Listening to Nicky Campbell’s show at the moment, and the callers (mainly from the North which won’t be lost on the Tory hierarchy) are up in arms over this in a much more animated way than they were before Christmas.
I think the hierarchy and the Tory members at grass roots level would have been seeing the New Year as a new start – Fat Boy even got a sort-of haircut which rather confirms this – but now we’re back where we started, and I don’t think it’ll be lost on any of them. I doubt that the “election winner” (beating Ken Livingstone for Mayor of London was like beating Rochdale at home in the League Cup) is now seen as such by a lot of the Red Wall MPs.
Prediction:
I think he’s a comedy vehicle for Matt Berry, a hit for Q-Tips, a staple food made with dough and then heated, best with cheese.
Erm… I think he’s toast.
The drip-drip-drip effect of this is rather deadly, don’t you think?
Someone’s got it in for him, they’re planting stories on ITV News …
The thing about being disloyal is that it’s kinda contagious.
Of course. If whoever leaked the invitation cared about the BYOB party happening then they would have leaked it in May 2020.
Was probably expecting a promotion that hasn’t materialised in th’interim.
Like Trump and that sodding tennis player, this absolute blister* is soaking up way too much of the attention of sensible, thoughtful people in ways that don’t advance the nation’s prospects one little bit. He has become the story.
I long for a PM, and by extension a government, that just quietly gets on with the job, even if they pursue policies I disagree with. Even Thatcher, who I loathed, took her job seriously.
* I have been listening to Stephen Fry reading P G Wodehouse. Some of it may have rubbed off.
One of the problems with modern politics is the constant “presenteeism”
It started under New Labour, the need to show what you’d been doing over the past few months, and has just got worse,
With a five year electoral cycle, all the plans have to show some progress before the next election, whereas things like health & education don’t produce the results until long after that.
This means politicians come up with very short term, headline, grabbing ideas, without having thought them through & are moved on before they come to fruition.
Interestingly, your last sentence above could equally apply to Health Service management over the previous decade or so…
The “always on” nature of politics is a direct result of 24-hour rolling TV news. If your channel is “on” 24/7 then you need to fill it’s schedule with something and politics is relatively easy and not that expensive to do.
It also leaves pols exposed to the public gaze like never before.
Not only for what they’ve been doing today but increasingly for the sort of stuff all of us did when we were much younger and most of us will probably never think about again.
Sadly, the more you see or hear from pols, the less likely you are to empathise or identify with them.
What would change if they got rid of him? Who would be brought in that would be much different?
The Cheese Queen will sort it all out.
She’s “backing him 100%”.
That’s it – he’s finished.
Cheese / toast
This pretty much says it all. Hard to see how any Prime Minister with an ounce of integrity could survive this, but we are talking about a PM without any.
As if things weren’t bad enough I find myself agreeing with Angela Rayner’s speech. Desperately grim times indeed.
He won’t go. He doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, and wouldn’t ‘do the right thing’ even if he had. And it doesn’t make sense to unveil your intended election-winner yet, because we’ll still be living in chaos for a couple more years and you want all that to be on him. So buckle in for another year of this sort of stuff.
Boris would never jump and his party won’t push until they’re sure that the blame for everything will fall with him.
For my thoughts on the matter, I would refer you to the recent UK Christmas No. 2 hit.
Sausage rolls?
….oh, number two…
Fat Boy likes Latin.
He’s well been a bottilla jobius today.
The current PM appeals to a lot of the electorate precisely because people can empathise with him. I mean this in the sense that he’s hopelessly out of his depth, inept at his job and has bad hair days. I’m not being flippant: in the era of rampant solipsism and constant references to imposter syndrome, a lot of people like him because they feel that, like him, they’re getting away with it. With every smirk and obfuscation, people think: ‘yeah, I’d probably say/do the same!’
I’ll be clear: he’s an arse. A copper-bottomed, seagoing, hope-mangling arse.
Me too!!
If he’s still leader in the run up to the next election he’ll win again by a mile. It’s what he was born to do especially in this era of 30 second hit politics. He’ll lie, cheat and bluster his way into the hearts and minds of the majority on the back of a catchphrase and some crazy video clips. I suspect all Tory MPs know this and being the unprincipled selfish buggers they are will keep their 1922 committee letters in their drawers, even now. My political naivety means the real consequences of a 80 seat majority never really occurred to me. Who knows where this shitshow will end…
God help us if he has to deal with Russia invading Ukraine.
Putin was probably at the party…
My worry is that Fat Boy will lead this appalling country into a war (I know which side I’d be on).
I mean, if your hero is Ian Botham you’re going to play cricket, right?
If your hero is Johnny Marr, you might pick up a guitar.
If your hero is Winston f***** Churchill (f*** me!!!), what’s gonna be your default position over an issue of disputed territory abroad or in foreign waters… especially as it’s a great vote-winner.
I bet he’d love to go to war with the French or the Spanish… and the Mail, Express, Sun, Times, Telegraph etc. are hardly going to treat a disturbance with anything other than sabre rattling language to stoke it up.
If so, good luck on finding an army… down in Cornwall, following Brexit (good idea!!), there’s no one to even pick the daffodils.
Oh, if any of you should require dead daffodils for Valentine’s Day, give us a bell.
Janners voted for it too! You couldn’t make it up.
Wonder if Boris will go into Andrew Neil mode and ask Old Ma Johnson to write a note excusing him from PMQs on account of a chill.
The reason why johnson took the unprecedented step of allowing Dominic Cummings to host his infamous “Barnard Castle eye test” press conference in the Garden at No. 10 just five days after the BYOB fiasco suddenly makes a lot more sense.
Given that Johnson’s only hope of survival is for him to brak the habit of a lifetime and apologize my prediction about Johnson’s not getting defenestrated until May is looking rather unlikely.
Given the vengeance DC has extracted (and is still extracting) from Johnson, DC’s new BFF Rishi Rich had better watch out.
Rishi Rich, TVS links, 1972…
Todays’ PMQs is going to be fun. Plan A would be to hide behind the investigation – can’t say anything now, why are you playing politics, we’re trying to get on with running the country.
But that won’t wash even with his own backbenchers, so Plan B: Make a statement minutes before the session, as he did a few weeks ago, to spike Starmer’s guns. It’ll be something along the lines of “I wasn’t aware of it, you can’t prove I was there, I’ve sacked my Private Secretary.” But Labour will have anticipated this.
So Plan C: Announce Carrie is pregnant again? Declare war on France?
How many dead cats can one table hold?
You don’t need a Dead Cat when there’s a Sweaty Royal standing by to steal your headlines. What a well timed annoncement that was.
ISWYDT
Very subtle I thought 🤫
Willing to bet there will be a photo leaked just before it.
He could say that he held lots of work meetings in the garden when the weather permitted (it was a lovely Spring, I recall) and, sometimes, at the end of a long day, number ten employees were allowed limited amounts of alcohol paid for by themselves. He perceived this work meeting as much the same and he just popped in for a few minutes to say hello at the time and praise them for all their hard work.
He’s really sorry. These meetings were a mistake but he was ill-advised. There is no way they can be characterised as ‘parties’. The guy who advised him and sent the badly worded email has gone.
Sue Gray is doing a great job, ect, ect, ect
Then, the dogs of war will be unleashed. Politics is nothing to do with facts, only perception, and this does not look good.
…and it was all socially distanced, groups of two, same as you would have seen in any public park at the time.
But then he has to be absolutely sure there isn’t a photo.
If there’s two metres between that fat arse and a photocopier it’s still very bad.
We did that one yesterday, do keep up at the back!
It’s not the same joke. It is the same arse, the same Prime Minister, and maybe the same photocopier. I couldn’t possibly comment.
He didn’t realise it was an arse. He thought it was an elbow. In hindsight, he realises that some people might think that the photocopy of his elbow looks a lot like an arse. He apologises for any offence caused by the arse, which he still believes is an elbow, and not his, and he wasn’t there at all and hasn’t even got an arse, not as far as he can see, anyway.
There you both go, lowering the toner the place
Photocopier puns now, is it? That’s niche.
Good joke though. As the French say, Tray B an
Care to enlarge?
No scan do.
Will he apologise?
The Yellow Bellied/Headed Twat hasn`t got the guts to apaologise and as someone stated above if he has to do deal with the Russian threat……
I don`t know whether to watch P.Q.T. because I honestly can`t stand the sight of the Twat and having to listen to even more lies…I don`t think I can take any more.
Got that wrong didn`t I?
The thing is it wasn`t a proper apology just a Twat`s twat of an apology. By the looks of him it may be better for his health if he did fuck off and a bloody good riddance it would be. Maybe we could have a long bank holiday to celebrate and then bemoan the bastard who takes his place,
Apology given. Not sure it will be anywhere near enough.
Tory spokespeople are still defending him on television. Have they been briefed? They must have no idea how the public see this. He simply must have waited until someone confirmed to him that photos were taken on phones when he was present; the British public will know that in their gut, and treat his behaviour with deepening contempt. Won’t they?
*crosses fingers*
As Harold Wilson famously said, “a week is a long time in Politics” and with or without Johnson, the Tories have got 150-odd of them between now and the deadline for the next election.
At least two of those who stood up with their distracting shyte will be gone at the next election.
And what would you like on your Boris Johnson? Toast, I meant toast.
Any danger of Plod raising even a minor concern? Just a little bit.
Perhaps if Fat Boy was one of those “piccaninnies” he so likes to refer to, the Met would be a bit more hands on.
And anyone got any faith in Sue Gray? I’ve got more faith in Tottenham winning a trophy.
Toast, Fat Boy.
On the day of this little “work meeting”, Rory Kinnear buried his sister.
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/jan/12/rory-kinnear-no-10-lockdown-party-buried-sister
I can relate. My mother died exactly a month before. Wasn’t allowed in hospital to see her for the four weeks leading up to her passing. Said my goodbyes via my brother’s phone as he was the ‘designated visitor; she couldn’t respond as by that time she was in a coma. The funeral was horribly sterile, saying nothing about the person she was. I’m still struggling to deal with the strangeness of those events and the fractured aftermath. Have been left with so many unanswered questions and doubts that I fear will now always be with me.
I’m really sorry to hear that. I can see that the circumstances leave a legacy that could last a lifetime. I think Kinnear’s article was pretty measured and if anything understated. The sneering contempt that Johnson and other ring pieces like Fabricant and Rees-Mogg have for people who have experienced this makes me really angry.
The Radio 4 news at 5 o’clock invited someone who knew Sue Gray to speak about her upcoming assignment.
Have I got this right?
She is going to look into dates, times etc. but can not definitively come out with “Fat Boy is guilty and should resign.”
Instead her findings go to Whitehall somewhere, get shuffled around a bit, and then end up on the desk of the final arbiter on this disgraceful episode.
“Who that be?” I hear you ask.
Well – and I’m NOT on a willy-wind-up here – the final arbiter is an Eton-educated, Bullingdon Club trasher of family restaurants, ex-Spectator editor who goes by the name of… have you got it yet?… Fat Boy Johnson.
Please, please tell me I’ve got the wrong end of the stick on this one.
It must be a Sue Gray area.
I’m here all week etc
One of my dogs has shat under the dining room table.
I’m waiting for Sue Gray’s report to shed some light on the culprit
@Rigid-Digit
Did the dog shit there technically or implicitly?
If so, was he (or she) acting within the clearly defined
guidelines of what constitutes the dining room?
What short memories. All over the country dogs, and even people, were shitting under dining room tables. Let’s get real, and he who is without sin cast the first bone…er, stone.
….big dogs.
Of course the ordure can be tested for DNA, then we can nail the culprit.
As a bullet can be tested by ballistics then the markings on the faecal matter can be checked for anal exudation marks……….. possibly.
In the words of the great philosopher Donald “Duck” Dunn – If the shit fits, wear it.
Check the paerbacks, too.
What a year!
This morning Five Live ran with:
1. Djokovic
2. Fat Boy
3. (he’s been no. 3 all his life) Prince Andrew
Jackpot!
Not so much three bells in a row, more three bell-ends in a row.
Prince (“didn’t suffer fools gladly”) Philip’s favourite son is apparently obliged to swear to tell the truth (in person, but more likely via Zoom) and then answer questions for 7 (S.E.V.E.N.) hours without lying. That’s the same Prince Andrew who did that car crash of an interview a couple of years ago on the BBC.
I hope Virginia has the stomach to continue and isn’t fobbed off with money from his mummy.
The reason Maxwell still has another trial pending is they think she had lied (didn’t see that coming… what are the chances?) during her seven hour interview.
“three bell-ends in a row”
First tea/keyboard moment of the day. Well done, dd.
I keep reading that as Maxell and expecting the Bela Lugosi is Dead hitmaker to be brought forth as a witness.
All that wind would blow the court papers all over the shop…
Oh how convenient. When the going gets tough the tough make something up and hide in a cupboard… again.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/uk-59977092
“Family member” is quite funny… he has a family?
He is his family’s “member”.
Oh, you mean he’s a knob?
*blinks*
And now Rees-Mogg has said that the enquiry, which let us not forget Johnson spent yesterday afternoon saying we shouldn’t pre-empt, might conclude that it was OK for the government to flout the restrictions which they had themselves put in place because they were ‘very hard’. What an utter shower to hold the country in such contempt.
It’s very hard not to organise a BYOB party for 100 people. A struggle millions face daily, I’m sure.
I am appalled that no-one has pointed out one of the worst features of this story, not even Jacob Rees-Mogg, a true guardian of traditional values.
The invitation (not invite!) that was sent out said “bring your own booze”. Disgraceful. BYOB is widely understood, even in these sorry times, to stand for “bring your own bottle”.
And let us not forget that, even if we did believe that Johnson thought all this was within the regulations, his idea of thanking his staff for their hard work involved them supplying their own drinks.
Though isn’t quite in the same league as Mogg comparing, presumably with the authority of the government, not attending the funeral of a grandchild (doable) with not drinking in the sun for 10 to 25 minutes (just too difficult).
It had to say booze, if it had said bottle,johnson would have brought a bottle of tomato ketchup and filched free drinks from his staff.
I have been informed that he enjoys free drinks and food.
Judging by the Downing Street flat, he enjoys free everything, and usually gets it.
On the other hand, if he thinks he’s ever had a free shag he’s mistaken.
Re: “I have been informed that he enjoys free drinks and food.”
Well, Johnson’s great hero Churchill did famously say that “Champagne should be dry, cold, and free”.
Anyone see Mogg on Newsnight? He repeated ‘apologize’ or some variant thereof about 20 times in the three or four minutes he was on air.
Probably because it’s one of those words he can elongate in that Peter York Tribute Act manner.
Can we have real posh people back? These stand-ins are getting it wrong.
And not once did it sound sincere. Patronising yes, sincere? Oh please!
And inevitably …
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2022/01/13/two-parties-held-downing-street-queen-country-mourned-death/
Yep, this will be drip drip drip all the way.
Fat Boy’s only tactic is to bat away each accusation individually, and if anyone should have the temerity to want to refer to the many previous misdemeanours (increasing day by day), that person will be told by Johnson, Rees-Mogg, Priti Vacant, the Met Police, Whitehall, and whichever Civil Servant is conducting the latest inquiry, to stick to the issue at hand.
It’s like dealing with a Primary School child who has nicked 50 packets of crisps from the tuck shop. All the teachers know he did it – but each packet will be slowly unveiled one after another with the juvenile loudly protesting his innocence over and over again.
Bollocks to Eton (they should be hanging their collective heads in shame – what the f*** did they teach him at that s***hole?)… Fat Boy hasn’t moved on from that age.
And now he’s hiding. A guy who can’t finish a sentence without mentioning Churchill or Blitz spirit. What a bastard.
Still, at least the cricket is on.
They should be hanging their heads, you’re right. I would suspect they’re not though. A good number will be doing joyous cartwheels.
The horrible bastard has still won, hasn’t he? He’s achieved all he ever wanted from that point on. From happily mocking working class scholarship boys with speech impediments during prep to becoming Prime Minister. He’s done it all; becoming MP, Mayor of London, Foreign Secretary to the very toppermost.
It doesn’t matter if he resigns this afternoon, is presented with a vote of no confidence or even faces the public at an election. Not to him, very much.
It’s all laid out in front of him when he goes and the how he goes doesn’t matter. The directorships, the punditry, the book deals, the holiday home in the Dordogne, the Shepherd’s Hut in the garden. A few months after he does go he won’t give the slightest fuck about anything he’s done only that his little plan of ambition actually fucking happened.
There’ll be more than few of the same stripe at that school and similar looking on and waiting.
All accurate, I fear. He won’t really get what he should unless he is sacked, silenced, shamed and in the slammer.
He was born in New York. He’ll make a run for the White House next.
I’m not sure about that. Didn’t he give up his US passport to avoid a hefty tax bill?
Probably. You can use this all-purpose question:
Didn’t Boris Johnson ________________ to avoid ________________________?
Fill in the blanks with anything and it’ll probably be true.
@beezer
Great post. Sadly.
Thanks. Happily. 😁
This one could be pivotal. Surely the only person many of his followers love more than him is our dear old Queen.
The Venn diagram of Conservative voters, monarchists and Brexit enthusiasts would have a very large shared area in the middle, and this will play exceptionally badly with them. Now that Johnson has ‘got Brexit done’ what else does he have to offer them?
His hee-hee-hee-HILARIOUS hair!!!
What a LEGERRRND!
It’s our curse to be living in a world that Charlie Brooker warned us about. This from (feeling slightly sick) 2008:
https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2008/apr/14/charliebrooker.boris
…the joke about Ken L and the swastika hasn’t aged well though but…
2008? Wow. Seems like a far gone innocent time now, doesn’t it?
This particular bit from the comment section made me grimace a bit:
“Charlie, your views are coloured by living in London. You’re not seeing the bigger picture – unfortunately London needs to take one for the team on this occasion.
If Johnson is elected, he’ll make such a hash of running the capital that the Tories’ credibility as a potential party of government will be dealt a fatal blow. If they can’t run a single city without disastrous consequences, who’s going to trust them with the whole country? Especially since Cameron has gone out of his way to appear to be great pals with Boris.
Yes, Londoners will be in for a wretched four years, but isn’t it worth it to torpedo the Tories’ long-term prospects?”
Oh god.
Oh god, oh god, oh god.
The poor fools don’t know they’re born…
AND LIONEL BLAIR IS STILL ALIVE
AND BOWIE.
And that lovable DJ who raises millions for charity and volunteers at hospitals SIR Jimmy Savile.
….and Rolf Harris free to wobble his board in every animal hospital in the land
(I accept I’ve gone too far now)
Top grossing movie of 2008: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. (Eek)
Top album act of 2008: Coldplay (Cripes)
Top TV show of 2008: The X Factor (Yaroo)
On second thoughts, I’ll take 2021.
*EDIT* 2022! 2022! Still getting used to that….
….and if a fellow wanted a duck house he could bally well get it on expenses rather than having to pay for it like a peasant.
Hamper for Mr. Daze. Shall we nip round to the Co-Op for some booze?
I think he should bring his own.
…and then we’ll drink it.
There must have actually been a conversation during the party
“we need more shant, where’s the nearest place?’
“well, we’ll need shitloads because there’s another party here tomorrow”
“have to go by foot because we’re all too pissed to drive’
“are there any of those nice strong LIDL bags around?’
“hang on, what about this suitcase?”
Can’t believe they went the Tesco Express by the Tube though. Go the other way up Whitehall and there’s a much better Co-op on the Stand by Charing Cross.
Les Pionniers champagne, a snip at under twenty quid. Fill yer boots.
No one here has yet to mention the. Brexit dividend of the return of being able to buy wine by the suitcase measurement rather than in hated 700ml bottle
I’ve been calling for this for years. Literally.
Bar staff look askance.
You’ve never heard the expression “a case of wine?”
That’s only twelve bottles. That’s, like, four people. Whatcha tryna do, stay within the law or summink?
Or drinking ‘a case of you’
Joni’s early drafts:
A Crate of You
A Keg of You
A Magnum of You
A Demijohn of You
A Draughtflow Can of You
A Party Seven, err….
A nebuchadnzzar….🤔
Try getting the cork outta that.
The latest leak from No 10 is an initiative called “Operation Save Big Dog” which involves senior officials resigning and taking the blame. The worst part of this is that it means he likes being called “Big Dog”. I bet he drinks tea from a large mug with this written on it.
Big Dog – dumb, hairy, shits everywhere, eats everything, licks his own balls in public and will shag your leg if you’re careless enough to stand still. Sounds about right.
Has to go.
Fast forward to, say, April.
A new Covid variant is sweeping across the world and Johnson is behind his lectern with Union Jacks either side of him saying: “We really have to be vigilant at this time, which is why we are advising that no one can meet in a public space with a person not in their bubble and…”
Who on earth is going to listen to that? It’s all down the pub, isn’t it? Do you want to sprinkle spittle particles all over those dry roasted peanuts on the bar, or shall I?
He HAS TO GO.
I always thought there were checks and balances in our Parliament which went into operation if a leader went mad or is showing increasingly erratic behaviour.
That did used to be a thing didn’t it?
Where are the checks and balances now?
Please don’t tell me it’s the Conservative Party’s own 1922 Committee.
But Johnson’s behaviour isn’t increasingly erratic. This appears to be entirely normal behaviour for him. I wish that was as sarcastic as it sounds.
You’re right.
In his case, it would be demeaning the office of Prime Minister (similar to Trump) or simply just routinely breaking specific rules which he himself has implemented.
Either way, where are the checks and balances for this situation?
I don’t see any. It’s certainly not the Police. They would know where the Prime Minister is at every single second of every single day of his administration… what have they come up with – “We’ll wait for what Sue Gray says.” Eh?
Nor is it Sue Gray.
As a civil servant albeit a very senior one, her power is limited to being able to censure rather than remove or recommend the removal of the man initiating and responsible for signing off on the report
Nobody is holding their breath. Fifty Shades of Graywash.
You’re right. She’s only required to gather the facts and present them. She has no power to even recommend sacking him or anyone else.
‘Waiting for what the report says’ is the sound of a group of ineffectual hypocrites who can and should act decisively on their own terms choosing to hope this all blows away. Or at least recedes behind some good news.
Or…..any news. Hello Novak! Hello Andy!
I for one fully support our brave boys in Met blue. Nothing to see here, just the people who made the rules explicitly forbidding indoor parties blowing off a bit of steam with a few… uh… dozen… um… indoor parties.
In any case, Cressida’s lads had their hands full dealing with / beating up the real criminals: women holding a silent outdoor vigil against the murder of Sarah Everard by… *checks notes*… a Met police officer.
That’s probably why they’re not doing anything about this – police resources are scarce, a woman somewhere might express an opinion in public, and Sgt Knacker’s got to stay vigilant.
And as we now know, it is no longer possible for the boys in blue to investigate crimes that occurred retrospectively.
Were there any black people at these parties*? Maybe then they’d be interested.
*Probably not – racism comes in handy sometimes.
Save the Big Dog 1
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-downing-street-partygate-b1993433.html
This, the parties…. they’re pretty good at organising things when they actually want to, aren’t they?
As a former pub landlady, Sue Gray is a shoo-in for organizing Johnson’s leaving do come May.
Given that he’s likely to embark on a major cull of his more dispensable cabinet colleagues and senior advisors in an attempt to shore up his now almost totally untenable position, the only question is who’ll still be around to attend.
Nadine Dorries will be there. Difficult to see why she’s so loyal to Boris – perhaps it’s because he doesn’t hold with any of this birth control nonsense.
Save the Big Job, is it?
Apt, he’s full of shite.
Or is it Save the Bottle Job?
Also apt, he’s well a bottle job at the moment.
This quote on the BBC website hits the mark. From a senior Tory amp.
“If there’s another emergency where he has to call on the public to make sacrifices, he doesn’t have that authority. That makes his position in my book, as prime minister, completely untenable.”
But I still think he’ll survive. Will just continue to ignore the flak.
Thing is, things like this will carry on happening because of what Johnson is. Every other week there’ll be something like this, followed by another cover-up or non-apology with that little smirk that is the ‘tell’ of the psychopath.
That minister today telling him to “change his ways” just doesn’t know what Johnson is. This is where the “big dog” idea doesn’t work: dogs can be trained. Train Johnson? You’d have better luck trying to train a Dalek to work for The Samaritans.
Like i said at the top of the page, he’ll be gone by the end of May at the very latest.
Jennifer Arcuri says that things are about to accelerate and to “get ready”. An amusing detail from her last phone call with Johnson was that the conversation ended in confusion, with a man’s voice pretending to speak Chinese. This is how Sgt Bilko handles tricky situations.
It is ah not raining in Westminster!
If you have a Conservative MP, and given their majority many of us will, then please email them with you opinions. You could send messages of support for Johnson of course, but you may be in the minority.
I live in a seat where not only do they weigh the Tory votes but the MP is unlikely to break ranks because she holds a ministerial, though not cabinet, post. Nevertheless, even if it feels like spitting into to the wind I have at least have passed in my opinions, in polite and constructively worded a way as possible, to my elected representative.
This weekend it’s all about those inboxes. They don’t like it up ’em.
https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2022/jan/15/tories-will-oust-boris-johnson-if-he-tries-to-dodge-partygate-blame
….so they’ll oust him. Because if the alternative is Johnson accepting responsibility, there is no alternative. To coin a phrase.
Get your grey suits on, chaps. It’s that time again.
Are we expected to believe that the succession of revelations from Downing Street was a surprise to those MPs, especially after the first 2, 3, 4, …?
Andrew Rawnsley today:
Conservative MPs now profess their shock-horror at the torrent of revelations about booze-ups at Number 10, but few expressed concern about earlier disgraces when it didn’t appear to be costing them support. Never mind the quality of the prime minister’s ethics, so they responded, feel the width of our poll rating.
Heard the latest?
No, not Operation Little Dong, that was yesterday, today The Sunday Times are reporting that Fat Boy J. is (i) going to take no (that’s… “NO”) responsibility for anything, and (ii) is going on a charm offensive with the Great Unwashed.
It’s quite a long list under the heading… I kid you not… Operation Red Meat.
If that doesn’t make you want to give up red meat, nothing will.
What would you do if you were a fat slob who went to Eton?
I’d start ramping up hostility to foreigners and “securing our borders.”
Fat Boy is going to ramp up hostility to foreigners to “secure our borders.”
“How do that, DD?” (mock “watermelon smile” accent).
Why, send the f****** military in to sort out any brown people fleeing their war-torn countries via dinghies in the middle of the English Channel, Afterword massive.
“The Riot Squad, they’re restless, they need somewhere to go.”
Got a pulse? Worried yet?
Remember all the enablers who allowed Hitler to carry on unchecked in the 1930s.
Lest We Forget… the buzz words for every Tory MP every November… I’ve news for you, if they ever knew anything, they’ve forgotten it.
Johnson hangs around, get you grandchildren toy soldiers for their next birthdays… get ’em practicing.
VERY concerning news.
Write to your local Tory MP… he HAS to go.
Unless, of course, you’re an enabler too.
….calculations based on the fond idea that “that’s surely it now” and there’s no more to come. There probably will be because the thing about shitheads is that they can’t help themselves.
I’ve got to admire the ITV News source’s sense of drama – dropping, as he/she has, these bombshells over a period of months. Terrific pacing. Whoever it is ought to get a gig storyboarding Scandi-noir shows.
According to the always excellent Tim Shipman in today’s Sunset Times, 35 of the 54 letters needed to mount a vote of no confidence have now been sent to 1922 Committee Chairman, Sir Graham Brady.
Tick, tick, tick…
The (former?) Borisgraph has turned against Empress Carrie on its front page. The worm turns!
I think it’s worth remembering that pretty much every anti-Carrie brief, most of which have been unreconstructed “pussywhipped” misogyny, has come from Dominic Cummings, who hates her guts for purely personal reasons.
…and also just not very keen on women, is he?
I think he’s not very keen on anyone who isn’t Dominic Cummings, but yeah, he does seem to be a nasty little sexist, just to complete his raft of -isms.
Interestingly, it seems that Rishi RIch’s tardiness and lack of enthusiasm in joining the circle of wagons around our beleaguered PM is being seen as not very “Us” by his fellow Tory heavy hitters.
Meanwhile, Boris is said to be taking matters so seriously “he has started to read his ministerial papers”.
I’d love to see that. Him picking one up, putting it down, picking it up again, staring into space, picking his nose, a SPAD points out that he’s holding the page upside down…. “Can’t I just pay someone to read it for me like I do with writing my books?”
That’s what Hestletine did. He lay down on a couch and got people to read the papers to him.
@Black-Celebration
Doubtless one of the reasons why uber-Tory Alan Clark dismissed Heseltine as being “the sort of person who had to buy his own furniture.”
Where exactly is Boris Johnson anyway? He’s supposedly isolating due to a ‘close-relative’ testing positive, but is he?
Is he at Chequers? Downing Street? Rehab? That Kent brothel he was photographed outside a few years ago?
Is he even still in the country, or has he made a secret trip out to see his mates in Perugia?
He’s partying like it’s 1999.
We must be due another revelation any moment now. It’s about every three days. Maybe they will sit on it until the day he’s back at PMQs. What do we reckon? A video this time?
There’s more in the Allegra Stratton video, so the Westminster rumour goes.
There’s a small one today about Carrie that only the ‘Graff seem to have picked up. Weekdays are the best time for this, drop fatty in it before PMQs and send the MPs back to their constituencies to face the shitstorm.
Nadine has tried the “nuke the BBC from orbit” thing but that’s only appeared in the parallel God-Save-Wonderful-Boris universe of the Mail. It might actually backfire anyway.
Fat Boy is understood to have “shared what he knows with Sue Gray.”
1. Rupert’s thingy is the shape of a parsnip.
2. Girlies have milky bumps on their chest.