Surely this poetic image is a contender:
–We danced the night away
We drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up
Great for the first dance song, eh? Any other suggestions?
Musings on the byways of popular culture
Surely this poetic image is a contender:
–We danced the night away
We drank too much
I held your hair back when
You were throwing up
Great for the first dance song, eh? Any other suggestions?
You must be logged in to post a comment.
Worst lyrics? What are you talking about, BJB?
Have you not a romantic bone in your body?
The couple that heaves together, leaves together. The couple that barfs together, laugh together. The couple that techniclour yawns together, spawns together.
I often quote this, but I’m happy to trot it out again…Garry Mills’s epic Top Teen Baby from 1960:
I dig this cookie she’s the mostest of the lot
And furthermore she is the only chick I got
Sheer poetry.
This song asks a simple but profound question, and provides a really really lousy answer.
“Yo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah”
That is even better in print!
The entire lyric of Wang Chung’s ‘Dancehall Days.’
It doesn’t ruin the song though. I’m fond of that song. Maybe because of the Grosse Pointe Blank soundtrack thing.
“Everybody Wang Chung tonight” is a stinker, mind.
Which reminds me…
This thread is about as easy as a nuclear war.
I’m as serious as cancer when I say that I agree with you.
No, war, war is stupid
And people are stupid
“James, James
Hold the ladder steady.
James, James
I’m packed and I am ready.
James, James
Hold the ladder steady.
I’m a-coming down into your arms.”
From “James (Hold The Ladder Steady)”, the final one of four 1962 singles by 17-year-old Carol Deene (born Carole Carver). She had previously had a minor hit “Sad Movies (Make Me Cry)” in 1961.
***Listen At Your Peril*** It’s awful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR61G0D1jb0
You’ve obviously never heard Oh Oh Oh Willie.
‘I’m so much in love with Willie that it’s silly…I just go for darling Willie willy-nilly…’
To be fair to James, it’s a typically puckish John D Loudermilk song, so it’s reasonable to suppose his tongue was firmly in his cheek when he wrote it.
Thank heaven he’d never heard of Milli Vanilli when he wrote it.
Oh Oh Oh Willie was written by one Hal Shaper (it says here), whose main meal ticket was the English lyrics to an Italian song called Softly As I Leave You. It was first recorded by Matt Monro, and then (among many others nobody’s ever heard of) by Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, The Sandpipers, Bobby Darin, Doris Day, The Lettermen, Shirley Bassey, Johnny Rivers, Mantovani, Eydie Gorme, Brenda Lee, Lena Horne, Cliff Richard, Vic Damone, Howard Keel and Michael Bubblo.
That’s some meal ticket.
Long, long ago, on Juke Box Jury, during a Carole Deene record, musical comedy star Stubby Kaye put a clothes peg on his nose and said “this record stinks and so does the person who sang it. ” Unfortunately, Ms Deene was that week’s singer behind the screen and she ran off in tears
What are the chances of him having a clothes peg in his pocket, eh?
My thought too.
“I’m sorry that I doubted you, I was so unfair/ You were in a car crash/ and you lost your hair”
Well it wasn’t a “hit” as such but still…
ONJ’s “Sam, Sam, you know where I am…”
Good thing his name wasn’t Wilberforce or Onofrio, someone might’ve had to think for longer than half a second to think of a rhyme.
“There’s a place I know if you’re looking for a show
Where they go hardcore and there’s glitter on the floor” … “glitter on the floor” doesn’t sound particularly hardcore does it? Blood, vomit, goat’s entrails would be more appropriate surely. (Or am i too old to know that “glitter” is a euphemism for something more sinister).
“Gonna write a classic,
Gonna write it in an attic”
The next line “cos baby I’m an addict” made it even worse. After lyrics like that bad I didn’t hold my breath waiting to hear the classic.
Another contender is “why do I find it hard to write the next line?” Good question Gary, perhaps its a lack of either imagination or songwriting talent.
I am the eggman
They are the eggmen
I am the walrus
Goo goo g’ joob
Does that really qualify as Lennon’s intention with Walrus was to write a completely nonsensical lyric.
He was a genius after all. Do you see Dave?
And deep? Like way deep.
God is a concept by which we measure our pain
Uh huh. Deep. Told you.
That is not what I was saying at all.
2 oldies-but-baddies here:
“Can’t complain, mustn’t grumble, help yourself to another piece of apple crumble”
(I maintain that Martin Fry is usually such a clever lyricist, that this must have been deliberately crap.)
“I don’t want to see a ghost, It’s a sight that I fear most, I’d rather have a piece of toast”
(from Des’ree’s “Life”, staggeringly enough nominated for a Brit Award for Best British Single in 1995)
Damn you got to Des’Ree before me. It spawned a Twitter account called Des’Ree News for a while, which was really funny.
The thing that troubles me about the ABC lyric is the notion of a “piece”. Apple crumble is not pieceable. It can only be served in dollops.
What you have there, Mr Fry, is an apple tart.
I used to know some people for whom that Apple Crumble line was the best line in popular music – formed a friendship over it.
It does nothing for me – ah….
I pine a lot
I find the lot
falls through without you
There can be only one :-
‘I’m as serious as cancer,
When I say rhythm is a dancer’
Close thread.
Ah, you beat me to it…
I am always very fond of this snippet from the late, great Jackie Leven:
“We sat in a bar
She went for a piss
I confessed the emptiness
In every kiss”
Oh no. That’s the wrong Leven lyric.
This is the right one:
The salt in the ocean is there
Because the fishes cry too
They cry for their loved ones
They see taken into the bluuuueeee
This was number one for what seemed like the whole year (which was 1983)
I bought a ticket to the world
But now I’ve come back again
Why do I find it hard to write the next line?
Oh, I want the truth to be said
Well, it certainly felt as if True was number one for the part of the year until “Karma Chameleon” and “Uptown Girl” came along to monopolise the airwaves entirely in the autumn…
‘Twas in Nirvana I dwelt till reminded of the horror of Uptown Girl.
Ah, the
She used to be a diplomat
Now she works down the laundromat
Hitmakers…
To be fair, it’s not much worse than rhyming Diplomat with Siamese Cat.
I’d forgotten that one, which is far, far worse.
‘I walk into an empty room
And suddenly my heart goes boom’
You must need to carry a defibrillator…
Horse With No Name by America is a pretty good example of the ‘will this do?’ school of lyrics writing.
Setting aside the ‘You’re in the desert. You’ve got nothing else to do. NAME THE FREAKIN’ HORSE’ element, not to mention that the narrator must have skin like an armadillo if it only started to turn red after two days in the desert you have the following:
There were plants and birds and rocks and things
There was sand and hills and rings
The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz
And the sky with no clouds
The heat was hot and the ground was dry
But the air was full of sound
I’m presuming this probably was written in the studio after a couple of tokes, but really….
‘After nine days I let the horse run free because the desert had turned to sea’
2 problems here :
Because most deserts lie in the interior of continents, they don’t have water to moderate their temperatures.
Horses can drink sea water now ?
& no one remembers your name for there ain’t no one for to give you no pain!!.. Huh?
Let’s be real. A Horse With No Name is an appalling song on every conceivable level.
I was about to say that all those lyrical shortcomings do not matter because it’s just a tremendous song overall. My pedantic contribution is that apparently in the desert if you can’t remember your own name, how can you hope to recall the horse’s moniker?
Rather than having no name, isn’t it more likely that the frazzled, tragic hippy in the saddle has just forgotten it?
The reason I consider A Horse With No Name to be a lyrical turd is, quite simply, the line ‘…plants and birds and rocks and things’. THINGS????? Come on! THINGS???
Authentic stoner language. Todally lost my nouns, dude.
Song With No Tune ?
Oh it’s GOT a tune. Just a really shit rinky-dinky one.
Oh well, if we’re just going for sheer logic (or lack thereof), then we’re obliged to include:
“Tonight there’s gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town”
Perhaps you might want to start at the jail, Phil…?
Ah, but… what if Phil is singing about good ol’ London Town? We have: Brixton, Pentonville, Thameside, Wandsworth, Belmarsh and, last but not least, “a name only Satan in all his splendour could have thought up, namely Wormwood Scrubs”.
So in that case Phil was right to be vague.
… see also
jailbreak
ˈdʒeɪlbreɪk/
verb (computing)
1.
modify (a smartphone or other electronic device) to remove restrictions imposed by the manufacturer or operator, e.g. to allow the installation of unauthorized software.
“in order to use these programs, iPhone owners have to jailbreak their device”
That’s just the men.
Let us not forget Holloway (so memorably sung about by The Kinks on Muswell Hillbillies).
From Weapons Of Mass Destruction by Faithless.
“You ain’t going to Nirvana, or far-vana.”
Vanessa Williams’ ‘Save the Best for Last’:
Sometimes the snow comes down in June
Sometimes the Sun goes round the Moon
I admit the first can happen, though whether that is remarkable depends on where you are, but I’d like to see evidence of your second assertion, Vanessa. In your own time then.
Oooh, I fancy some gravy now.
It’s a hidden Science Fiction song, just like I shall be released – I see the sun come rising up from West unto the East.
(actually 39 by Queen IS a hidden SF song, along with Sign in Stranger by Steely Dan. To be fair quite a lot of SD/DF is SF)
Oh dear, answering pop stars back? That twerp with the blog will be along soon threatening legal action for using his Completely Brilliant Original Idea.
“I drive a Rolls Royce
…cos, it’s good for my voice”
has to be up there.
Along with Mr Tantric himself:
“It’s no use, he sees her, He starts to shake and cough
Just like the old man in That book by Nabakov”
If a book on the whole rock/nonce thing ever gets written, that song’s perspective (“Temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry”) would warrant a Yewtree-sized analysis.
Didn’t Richard Thompson write a song about Sting? Cos I seem to remember the lyrics for that are absolutely terrible. As are the lyrics for his Trump song someone posted on here recently.
It’s a shame cos he plays a nifty guitar. But his voice and lyrics ruin the whole bangshoot for me.
But he’s never had a hit, so is inadmissible for this thread.
Did he? It’s not a song he needs, it’s a charge sheet.
With you on RT’s voice. I’ve never much cared for his tone either. And don’t get me started on his hat…
I think he’s just got a weird head and paints it.
Found it.
Here comes Geordie, back in town again
Here comes Geordie, strutting down the lane
Girls all want to toy with his affection
Boys all say, he loves his own reflection
Hey now, Geordie, sing us all a song
Whoa there, Geordie, where’s your mother tongue?
That don’t sound like Tyneside to me
Geordie, are you from Jamaica, ee?
Here comes Geordie in his private plane
Got to save the planet once again
Good old Geordie, righteous as can be
Chop down the forest just to save a tree
Good old Geordie went to buy a hat
Geordie says, my head won’t fit in that
It’s so swollen, much to my surprise
They’re all too small, there’s nothing in my size
Here comes Geordie acting in a play
He’s no Gielgud or Olivier
Stiff as cardboard, isn’t it a drag,
Can’t act his way out of a paper bag
Here comes Geordie, back in town again
Here comes Geordie, strutting down the lane
Girls all love him, think he is the end
Boys all say, the mirror’s his best friend
Here comes Geordie
Here comes Geordie
It’s absolutely pitiful.
Pretty good. Pitiless? Half way through it seems to go from wit to spite, but a deserving target.
“Oh Sting, where is thy death?” (© David Quantick, I believe)
Eesh. It’s just woeful doggerel, and the easiest possible target, to my eyes. Horses for courses!
Well, he denied that it’s about Sting but I don’t see how that can stand. A Geordie singer who acts and sings in a cod-Jamaican accent? There can’t be many contenders.
I revere Thommo – greatest of all time is my basic contention – but loathe his ‘comedy’ digs at easy targets. Most of them (Madonna’s Wedding, Dear Janet Jackson) don’t end up on albums; Geordie did for some unknown reason.
You must have forgotten the Jimmy Nail album ” Why Aye Irie”
That don’t sound like Tyneside to me
Geordie, are you from Jamaica, ee?
did he write this when he was five?
Hmmm … I think we can all agree that the lyrics of “Here Comes Geordie” don’t quite match those of “Beeswing” or “1952 Vincent Black Lightning” in the quality stakes.
Is he suggesting that Geordie is false?
That Rolls Royce line is brilliant, love it!
Here are a few more:
“I met a girl. She asked me my name. I told her what it was.” – Razorlight
“Young, black and famous – with money hanging out the anus.” – Puff Daddy
“You work in a shirt with your name tag on it, drifting apart like a plate tectonic.” – Kaiser Chiefs
“Girl you make me feel real good, we can do it til we both wake up.” – Color Me Badd
“Bob Marley, poet and a prophet/Bob Marley taught me how to offit/Bob Marley, walkin’ like he talk it/Goodness me, can’t you see, I’m gonna cough it” – Red Hot Chili Peppers
You could do a whole thread just on Les Red Hots.
How that band got to be as big as they are is a question of “Trump?” proportions.
I kind of like the idea of them, but they’re just bloody awful, aren’t they?
One of the worst gigs I’ve ever seen was them debuting their new material for Stadium Arcadium outside the BBC. Honestly regretted being there; they looked, acted and sounded absolutely ridiculous.
I’m pretty sure without Anthony Pienis they’d be fine. Rock solid drummer, ridiculous bass player who can actually rein it in occasionally and play genuine notes, and John Fruitsalad was useful too despite being a hilarious pseud.
I love a stupid LA musician. Remember how Dave Navarro out of Jane’s (and briefly RHCP) made a solo album, pressed like 100 copies of it and kept them all in a coffin in his front room because the album represented “his pain”.
Brilliant.
I think you’re right. The great mystery of the Chilis is how they’re so much less than the sum of their parts – Kiedis is the drag factor here.
The Red Hot Chilli Peppers: 30 Years of Sock Abuse.
In his own right, The Stingster had a hit with Russians, which includes the priceless:
MIster Krushchev said, “We will bury you.”
I don’t subscribe to this point of view.
It’d be such an ignorant thing to do
If the Russians love their children too.
Or indeed this gem, from the same lp I believe:
“When you have sunk without a trace
The universe will suck me into place”
… and if Kruschev did say that, it’s not a “point of view” is it?
The ‘Rolls Royce/voice’ line is pop genius.
‘Stranglehold’ by UK Subs is the most moronic slab of crap ever to grace any hit parade in any universe at any time. Apart from being a huge flag to Yewtree, the ‘lyricist’ can’t even be bothered to write words for most of it – he just counts numbers. Here’s the opening:
One two three
Four five six
Gotta do a dance
And it goes like this
See I don’t mind that kind of thing. Reminds of The Ramones. Stuff like Cretin Hop, which is one of the silliest and best lyrics ever.
1-2-3-4
Cretins wanna hop some more
4-5-6-7
All good cretins go to heaven
Brilliant.
They even told you what they were about to do lyrically:
“Third verse/different from the first”
In PiL’s Don’t Ask Me, Lydon yells “Middle eight!”
You seem to have an alarmingly deep knowledge of British C-list punk bands, Colin.
(Charlie Harper was 35 when Stranglehold came out.)
I’m fascinated with C-list punk bands, Yorky! It’s like watching a car crash or something – one can’t help oneself. And because of YouTube etc, one can watch said car crash indefinitely. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!! 🙂
@colinh – don’t forget the “one more time!” aftter having sung “Stranglehold on me” about 119 times.
I feel inclined to blow my mind
Get hung up, feed the ducks with a bun
They all come out to groove about
Be nice and have fun in the sun
A bizarre mix of vague hippy-dippy sentiment – get hung up, groove about, be nice, have fun – and the extremely specific ‘feed the ducks with a bun.’ Mother’s Pride ain’t good enough for these quacks. And is it the ducks who come out and groove about? Frankly the whole thing’s a mess.
Have we forgotten this?
Slowly walking down the hall
Faster than a cannon ball
I’m sorry I’ll lyric that again!
It is shit but I always read that as trying to render the feeling of being off your face on summat. I’ve seen worse.
Macca is the master (still love him mind):
this was a hit:
“Mary had a little lamb,
his fleece was white as snow,
Ev’rywhere that Mary went,
that lamb was sure to go.
And you could hear them singing:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la …”
As was this:
“Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Don’t Make Them Have To Take It Away
Give Ireland Back To The Irish
Make Ireland Irish Today
Great Britain You Are Tremendous
And Nobody Knows Like Me
But Really What Are You Doin’
In The Land Across The Sea …”
This wasn’t (Driving Rain):
“1 2 3 4 5 let’s go for a drive
6 7 8 9 10 ooh ooh
1 2 3 4 5 let’s go for a drive
6 7 8 9 10 let’s go there and back again …”
Neither was this (Bip Bop):
“Bip bop, bip bip bop
Bip bop, bip bip band
Dig your bottom dollar
put it in your hand
Try to hang out
underneath the stand
Put your hands together
gonna see a band
Treat me…”
The Smiths:
Punctured bicycle
On a hillside desolate
Will nature make a man of me yet?
or
Why pamper life’s complexity
When the leather runs smooth
On the passenger’s seat?
Also, not Hits but M’Lud, I have to submit:
Mr Zappa’s
She stripped away her rancid poncho, And laid out naked by the door,
We did it till we were un-concho, And it was useless any more.
Mr S. Miller’s
Hot Chilli is Groovy, After a movie, Or watching TV.
Fountains of Wayne’s (admittedly tongue in cheek) Denise:
She works at Liberty Travel,
She has a heart made of…..gravel…
You gotsta be kidding, Badlands! Those Smiths lines are wonderful!
Seconded. Glorious!
That’s isn’t just one of Moz’s best it’s one of the greatest ever.
You got that this is looking for *bad* lyrics, right? 😐
Yes, but those lines are so nonsensical and disconnected, they could have been written by Jon Anderson or the Random Yessongs word generator. Forget the love for Mozzer – it’s doggerel.
When Frank Zappa’s lyrics were bad, which was often, it was generally because he wanted them to be bad.
Yeah, I have the same approach to my posts on this site.
I know I always target this one. I otherwise like Heaven 17, but this really gets my goat.
“I was 37, you were 17
You were half my age, the youth I’d never seen”
Firstly, half of 37 is not 17, it is 18.5 – see me after class.
Secondly, if you were 37, you must have once been 17 – unless you own a time machine, or were in a year-long coma.
Let’s not forget how the story unfolds..
if half the things they say are quarter true of me (Good)
Then how can I eclipse the youth you gave to set me free? (?)
Something in your smile was hard to reconcile (Good)
But time had come to testify to reason (?)
Though years will not erase the remembrance of those days (Good)
At least there’s no submission to heart’s treason (??? – see me)
Alice Cooper being brutally honest:
“We got no principles
We ain’t got no innocence
We can’t even think of a word that rhymes”
Newsflash:
Song Lyrics Do Not Rhyme shocker! See page 92.
Busted said:
“I’ve been to the year 3000,
Not much has changed but they lived underwater,
And your great, great, great-granddaughter is pretty fine”
Point 1:
“Live underwater” – so has the human race developed gills and are now living as fish following a great flood or polar ice cap melt in about 2300? More detail on “future history” please
Point 2:
“Your great, great, great-granddaughter is pretty fine”
Lets allow 30 years for each generation. The family relationship is 5 generations removed, therefore 150 years.
In 2017, we are 983 years away from 3000, so your great, great, great-granddaughter is 833 years old.
Unless there was some form of cryogenic suspension (probably around the time of the flood?), I very much doubt that she is pretty fine.
Human League – The Lebanon
“Before he leaves the camp he stops,
He scans the world outside,
And where there used to be some shops,
Is where the snipers sometimes hide”
Hurrah! I knew “The Lebanon” would be along eventually. It’s always welcome!
Has anyone mentioned The Cranberries’ “I Shot John Lennon” yet? That’s a 24-carat stinker, (although admittedly not “an actual hit pop song”, as the OP requires).
Oh the Lennon song is amazing. Proper William McGonagall standard.
“It was a fearful night of December 8th
He was returning home from the studio late
He had perceptively known that it wouldn’t be nice
Because in 1980, he paid the price
John Lennon died
With a Smith and Wesson 38
John Lennon’s life was no longer a debate
He should have stayed at home
He should have never cared
The man who took his life declared:
He said, “I just shot John Lennon,
I just shot John Lennon”
What a sad and sorry and sickening sight
What a sad and sorry and sickening night.”
I thank you, Mr Friar, sir.
That song must be present on all “Bad lyrics” threads. It’s mandatory!
McGonagall lives!
“No matter where I roam
I will return to my English Rose
For no bonds can ever tempt me from she”
Surely this takes some beating?
Mind you, whoever left that cake out in the rain has got some explaining to do. Especially if the recipe was as unique as Richard Harris claimed.
A yes, as I said in a recent thread any song which has claims to be the worst of all time has English Rose and Imagine to beat first.
Bryan Adams has a similar, though not quite so atrocious, grasp of grammar:
She says her love for me could never die
But that’d change if she ever found out about you and I
Sloppy isn’t it. Change ” could never die” to ” would always be” and it all works wonderfully,
Wouldn’t work with the music. The second syllable of never is a quick “vuh” and is easy to jump off from into “die”. The “ways” of always is clumsy to sing quickly and get into the “be” without being really clunky and awful.
I can’t say the ungrammatical nature of the line has ever bothered me. I think Run To You is a really good tune, BA’s subsequent descent into extreme naffness notwithstanding.
Run To You is a lyrical high point of the Adams oeuvre. Here’s but one of the many, many lows:
I wanna be your t-shirt when i
t’s wet – wanna be the
shower when you sweat
I gotta to be the tattoo on your skin – ya lemme be your
bed baby – when you climb in
I wanna be the sheets when you sleep – lemme be the
secrets that you keep
I gotta be the spoon – ta stir your cream
I wanna to be the one that really makes you scream
I wanna be – your lipstick when ya lick it
I wanna be – your high heels when ya kick it
I wanna be – your sweet love babe – ya when you make it
From your feet up to your hair – more than anything I swear
I wanna be – your underwear
I wanna be the itch that you scratch – wanna be your
chair when you relax
I got to be your razor when you shave
Wanna be the habit that really makes you crave
I wanna be – your hot tub – when you’re dippin’
I wanna be – your bathrobe – when you’re drippin’
I wanna be – your cocktail baby – when you’re sippin’
I just wanna be right there – more than anything I swear
I wanna be – your underwear
Wanna be your sleepin’ bag – baby slip inside
Let me be your motorcycle n’ take ya for a ride –
alright
I wanna be – your hot sauce – ya when you’re cookin’
I wanna be – your sunglasses – hey good lookin’
I wanna be – wanna be the one – ya stick your hook in’
I just wanna be right there – more than anything I swear
Oh ya I wanna be – your underwear
Oh good LORD.
Fair play to Bryan Adams: he’s had many cruddy efforts.
My favourite of his comes from The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me Is You, as you can sing the next line before you’ve heard it:
Yeah it’s you – it could only be you
Nobody else will ever do
Yeah baby it’s you – that I stick to
Yeah we stick like glue.
What if you knew what I was thinking?
Would it make you like “Whoa!”?
I don’t wanna risk putting my foot in this
So I keep my mouth closed.
https://youtu.be/hr0rDW5j1KU
And if I ever lose my mouth, all my teeth, north and south,
Yes if I ever lose my mouth, Oh iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiif… I won’t have to talk…
Not one for hospital radio, that.
Let’s hear it for the lyrical dexterity of the Goombay Dance Band
“…and if dreams were eagles, I would fly
but they ain’t
and that’s the reason why”
Neil Diamond – I am I said… “did you ever hear about a frog who dreamed of being a king?.. & then became one/well except for the names & a few other changes if ya talk about me?/the story’s the same one.. um I’m not a believer, Neil.
More Neil :
“I am!” I said
To no one there
No one heard at all
Not even the chair
You’re both whack! ND is boss.
And I’m not a man who likes to swear, but I’ve never cared for the sound of being alone.
yes.. i mean everyone knows that chairs have ears but to miss hearing Neil Diamond say that he IS.. well chair must have been hungover or going through domestic issues or something
Not even the chair!
Chairs can normally be relied on to hear things. This was a dead ignorant piece of furniture.
All good bad but the best has to be
Songs she sang to me
Songs she brang to me
Scrolling through this thread, I must say most of these lyrics are pretty great. Written down they may look crap, but when sung properly they sing.
Nice to hear Chris Difford was challenged on 6 Music on Sunday regarding the time difference on Up The Junction and admitted it’s bothered him as well.
This morning at four fifty
I took her rather nifty
Down to an incubator
Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter
Within a year a walker
She looked just like her mother
If there could be another
The whole lyric of The La’s Freedom Song. Is it a piss-take? Dreadful.
Here it is. Let all regret that Lee Mavers never made another album just melt away…
All this world seems bent upon
Contemplating Babylon
Fate is sealed inside a bomb
Where has all the freedom gone
There’s a place for everyone
Live and die our Kingdom Come
I believe the day will come
To understand where you come from
I’m not scared to die — God help me
We went to the same school and we
All learned the same rules of lament
The knot will never come undone
Accidents show mercy none*
There isn’t anywhere to run
The masterpiece is done
The war has won
There’s a place for everyone
Live and die our Kingdom Come
But until the web is spun
Everybody must have fun
*This is my favourite line, a pinnacle of awfulness.
As the OP I am shocked, shocked, SHOCKED I tell you that no one has brought this up:
The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless, longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what’s right
As sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what’s deep inside, frightened of this thing that I’ve become
Never mind that Kilimanjaro is bigger than Olympus, so the simile is nonsense, If you force yourself to listen to Africa by Toto, you will find the scansion of the last two lines is ear-burstingly dire.
Huge fan of any simile which figuratively compares a mountain to a mountain.
The lyrics are pure hilarious bunk but I really love Africa and that’s half the fun. Great tune.
Are
we
Human
or
are
we
dancer
10cc’s “The Things We Do For Love”:
“Communication is the problem to the answer…”
Is it? Is it, Graham and Eric? Is it really?
alice cooper, sghools out.
“well we got no class”
“and we got no principles”
“and we got no innocence”
“we can’t even think of a word that rhymes”
both dumb and great at the same time.
alice seem to do this a lot….
“who do you think we are…..special forces in a armoured car” from of course “special forces”.
“come and lay down on the floor with me…its warmer here by the fire”
“she didn’t know that there was more of me…she had to learn to love all four of me” from the splendidly batshit “no mans land”.
a song about a man working partime as a santa…picked up by a bored housewife…who then reveals his multiple personalities.
my fave….”I love that mountain with those four big heads…I love velvita slapped on wonderbread..
I love a commie, if he’s good and dead” from “I love America.
Oh come on, that’s some first-class punnage on “class” and “principles” (Principal being the American term for Headmaster)…
“I have runaway with you”
Yes, I’ve noticed – why are you telling me?
Generally speaking, if the genre is Metal (of whichever variety) the lyrics are going to be risible.