So in response to Tigger’s thread suggestion back in the Prostitution thread about Bruce’s worst song triggering a thread, I’m starting said thread.
Here’s my suggestion – Pony Boy. Jeez, he even played it live. Talk of lack of self-awareness.
However I’m not limiting it to Bruce. Any decent sized back catalogue has a stinker or two (yes, Mr Young I’m looking at you as a multiple offender) so let us have your bona fide, rotten blue cheese, stinkers.
My affection for the mighty Tull is well known but this is a shocker.
*hangs head* I quite like that
I like that one! It may be based around the most thinly veiled of double entendres but it’s a rollicking tune.
Well Ian Anderson can certainly write a good chune, for sure.
A song that I suspect The Dame has never performed live: The Laughing Gnome.
Beanyesque in its badness.
Nah. His real stinker is Across The Universe.
Nah, it’s horrible but not as bad as God Only Knows.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOadV_CPT_k
I can’t bear the thought of listening to it, but is he doing the Beach Boys song? Jesus wept. Like Bryan Ferry, he can’t do covers. It the problem with having a contrived vocal style, it only works (brilliantly, in their case) on their own material. Soon as they leave the reservation and try to sing normal songs it sounds crap.
I feel another thread coming on. Bowie’s best cover is Wild Is The Wind. He does many other really good ones, including a surprisingly good Working Class Hero. You are being harsh on Ferry. He is something of an expert on Dylan, his version of Make You Feel My Love, which he sang at the Diana tribute concert, brought it to the fore and led to it becoming a huge hit. His last album includes a cover of Johnny and Mary with Todd Terje and it’s marvellous, despite his ageing voice!
http://youtu.be/EFSGe-l18Yo
Yep, I can’t agree with you there, Twang. Bowie shoves in a cover on most of his albums and they’re often pretty good, with Wild Is The Wind and Sorrow being right up there with his very best.
I know I’m in a small minority here. The thing about artists like Bowie and the Beatles is people who love them lose all objectivity and can’t recognise good from bad. As more of a casual fan I know what sounds real and what sounds forced and clunky to my ears. OOAA.
Now don’t you be accusing me of being no Bowie lover there now Twang, sir. No way, no how. I only like his singles. I think most of his albums (with a few notable exceptions) are unlistenable rubbish.
I’ll let you off then!
I love David Bowie, warts and all. That doesn’t mean I can’t recognise a wart when I hear one. Two have been mentioned already. However, he has recorded some magnificent covers, Wild Is The Wind and Sorrow being the best examples. Here’s another.
http://youtu.be/08tCskqM5Y4
Where Have All The Good Times Gone.
And here’s another. ‘Cept he didn’t record it. Silly man.
The Laughing Gnome is a fabulous record full of inventive sounds and dumb puns. Slagging it is lazy rock cliché no#2 behind “Ringo is a crap drummer”
“Worst Songs” can be entirely subjective, and often over time you may find something redeemable in there.
But I’ve never got past the stinkiness of this one in The Jam’s catalogue.
Trans Global Express
(I realise I’m opening myself up for derision here, with cries over “open your eyes” and “you complete dullard”, but that song just pongs a bit too much for my liking)
I don’t much care for “Trans-Global Express” on record, partly becuase you can’t hear the vocals.
But the one time I saw the Jam live, they did that track, and it was a huge improvement over the version on “The Gift”.
I refer Richard Thompson, but the hideous finger wagging of Modern Woman can sod off.
You say that like it’s a bad thing, Thommo. And no, I don’t think he was being ‘ironic’ on this one.
‘Revere’ not ‘refer’ of course.
Phantom (an instrumental b-side) by The Sisters Of Mercy divides fans, I think it sucks, but the same thing is true about You Could Be The One which, I adore. Last decent thing they recorded.
bad
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvSMY8GDdo4
good, v. good
I didn’t know Phantom divided Sisters fans. I quite like it. The Sisters song I think really doesn’t cut the mustard is “Possession” from FALAA.
So many options for the Genesis of the 1980s. I could offer Genesis from 1983 as an entire album of stinkers. But for me, the creme de la creme has to be this horrible piece of noise:
http://youtu.be/DR6QFlNfzdE
Arse. This is what happens when you try and get fancy with italics and there’s no edit function.
The Genesis album? The one with Mama and Home by the Sea on it? The case against it being all stinkers is included in my second question.
Alright, I’ll give you Home by the Sea, although it’s laboured and dull. Not a big fan of Mama or anything else on that record. Illegal Alien? What were they thinking?
I happily agree that Illegal alien is awful!
Have you read Then Play Long’s review of the album? I was shocked and rather irritated when I first read it, but on reflection I don’t think they’re too far off the mark. http://nobilliards.blogspot.com.es/2014/03/genesis-genesis.html
Wot Gorilla?
I don’t mind that one. I can’t really think of any song pre-Duke that stands out as bad. Post Duke, the opposite seems to apply, and it’s hard to find anything I like.
Re: Genesis – Who Dunnit
Someone posted that track on the old site. I’d never heard it before. And I hope I never hear it again.
I couldn’t believe that the same band that had made “Watcher of the Skies,” “The Cinema Show” and “The Chamber of 32 Doors” could’ve produced that crock of sh*t.
Any suggestions for The Fabs
(or is that too much of a sacred cow?)
3 from the White Album:
Savoy Truffle
Wild Honey Pie
Revolution #9
Man people may suggest “Maxwells Siver Hammer” – actually, I don’t mind that (its certainly preferabble to Yellow Submarine (another one often cited as their “worst” (if there can be such a thing?).
Final Nomination – Dig It
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P2AW0f5BOao
This is crazy talk! Dig It is a mere interlude and not a proper track. Piggies is far worse than Savoy Truffle, Revolution #9 is a charming example of avant garde pop, Yellow Submarine is the best children’s song ever and Maxwell is hideous, especially Paul’s chuckle towards the end.
I nominate Honey Don’t, which is a lacklustre dirge that even Ringo sounds weary of.
http://youtu.be/JKttZhDbw10
I note Wild Honey Pie escapes your impassioned defence.
And your nomination of “Honey Don’t” – there must be something about Honey and The Beatles that just doesn’t gel.
Good job they didn’t call it “Can’t Buy Me Honey” (or was that a Winnie The Pooh single?)
I love all of those three White Album nominations…
The worst (least good) songs from that album IMO are
The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill
I’m So Tired
Rocky Racoon
Don’t Pass Me By
and
Good Night
But none of them are as awful as Hello Goodbye (from MMT). That song gets on my nerves…
Well. Wild Honey Pie is, like Dig It, a mere interlude. It’s actually good fun!
I don’t often say this, but Locust is wrong too. Bungalow Bill is the first Eco-protest song, Tired is really witty with tremendous bass (love the ‘stupid get’ line) and Don’t Pass Me By is really quite touching, as is the delicate lullaby, Goodnight, beautifully sung by Ringo. I struggle a bit with Rocky Racoon I have to admit. I’d like it a lot better if it was shorter. Hello Goodbye is very cheerful, then uses a ‘world music’ rhythm for the closing coda. What’s not to like? Lots of worse tracks on MMT.
” Lots of worse tracks on MMT”
Like ‘Your Mother Should Know’ for example
I did say: (least good)…I don’t think any of them are all that awful really.
Hello Goodbye isn’t all that bad musically, I just can’t stand the lyrics. Sure, it’s probably written for some silly scene in the film (I fell asleep almost immediately when it was shown on telly last year, so I don’t know for sure) and supposed to be nonsensical, but there are limits…
If I’m honest the song I really can’t listen to is Yesterday, but that’s partly thanks to over-exposure.
I am often wrong though! Especially on subjective topics… 😉
I seem to remember that we had a whole thread dedicated to “The Worst Beatles Track” on the old site. There were about 500 contributions. In the end, I think I voted for “Little Child”.
For my fifth birthday, my aunt bought me With The Beatles. I adored Little Child. It’s the first record I remember dancing to. I cannot countenance it being a “stinker”.
I have now, and nodded along to a good deal of it, though it’s been a long time since I heard the album as a whole.
Easy choice for the worst Beatles track. “Don’t Pass Me By”.
A stinker.
But ‘you were in a car crash, and you lost your hair’ is such a toweringly great couplet…..
And it comes as a great relief. For most of the song we worry that poor Ringo had been stood up yet again. Turns out she had a good explanation for not showing up.
I’m so Tired is fantastic!
Don’t pass me by is bearable
I would nominate Why don’t we do it in the road. Never make it to the end of that one. Just annoying
It is said John was rather jealous of that track because it naughtily recommends sex in public!
Worst Beatles track is the wretched ‘If You Got Troubles’ they kept in the bottom of the box for 30 years for a good reason, alongside ’12 Bar Original’ and ‘Mailman Bring Me No More Blues’
It’s Oh-bla-di-oh-fucking-da. Lennon was right to slag it.
As Carl mentions in the OP, Mr Young is indeed a serial offender, but Old King on the otherwise lovely Harvest Moon takes the biscuit. I can’t even bear to post a link, so instead here’s the rather wonderful “Unknown Legend” from the same album:
Depeche Mode’s worst is Pipeline
http://youtu.be/Uc2koTGsKAQ
Even worse, it was used in a documentary to highlight how clever they were using various sounds in their songs. It’s an awful, awful, track.
Also – lyrically – it starts in a toe curling way and doesn’t get much better:
“Get out the crane
Construction time again
What is it this time?
We’re laying a pipeline…”
That’s not Pipeline, this is!
I can forgive Counting Crows for a lot, even a cover of Ooh La La on Underwater Sunshine, but…..you don’t mess with Joni.
I quite like it.
I’d say it’s better than everything on last year’s “best album since their debut” Somewhere Under Wonderland.
The final nail for many
The. Pits. Possibly one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.
Simultaneously, tries too hard and doesn’t try half enough.
Re: Peter Gabriel.
“Kiss that Frog” isn’t too great, either.
I agree; it was a toss-up between the two.
The years-too-late media critique, and failure to even bother with a melody meant this one took the ‘prize’.
As I remember, it worked well live. But it does seem odd that a man who spends so much time putting together each album didn’t click that this clunked.
Does it clunk any more than anything else on Up? I’ve never been able to enjoy that album. Mind you, now I come to think of it, I don’t much like OVO either. There are plenty of weak links in those two albums. Too many to choose from.
By contrast, this is great.
OVO is a mess but it has both Father Son andPaul Buchanan on it… crikey.
I’ve been wracking my brains and I can’t think of a real clunker for Steely Dan, Roxy Music or Talking Heads!
My first thought was Babylon Sisters, but although it is not great I don’t know if it is a true hang your head in shame moment.
You are joking, aren’t you? Babylon Sisters is the perfect opening to their coolest, most depraved album.
Totally agree, Tiggs. Babylon Sisters doesn’t belong anywhere near this thread. It’s fantastic!
Well, it’s a challenge … finding a “stinker” by Steely Dan, Roxy Music and Talking Heads … but it is my quest for the day.
Good luck! You may be gone some time.
It is fun searching. This is where I have landed at the moment.
*snorts tea onto ipad*
Here’s the Roxy Music track I struggle with the most
http://youtu.be/8G8u1pJl_nY
Tryptych from Country Life.
If pushed, I’d say Radio Head is the worst Talking Heads track.
http://youtu.be/sSjYDJtX_-E
Today, it sounds pleasingly jolly!
Hm. I think it’s Bill, if we’re going to restrict ourselves to the original records rather than including the tab-ends that have emerged since the split.
We had an exchange about Naked on the old site wherein I opined how intrusive I found Bill on the CD, after 15 years or so of listening to the LP. I also prefer the chopped versions of some of the songs on the album (see also Speaking in Tongues)
Radio Head is better than I Get Wild (Wild Gravity) or Puzzlin’ Evidence… but they’re still all pretty good. What a blimmin’ band.
Radio Head is by definition a stinker, for giving an identity to that band…
Re: Talking Heads – stinkers?
On the first 7 albums, up to “True Stories”, I honestly don’t think there are any stinkers. It’s an incredibly fine and consistent body of work.
“Naked” I’ve never liked as much. So if I were to pick a poor Talking Heads track, it might be “Big Daddy”, “Bill” or “The Democratic Circus” off of that album.
Ooohh, none of these songs are stinkers by any normal standards. I slightly wince at the overdubbed portions of the original Stop Making Sense record but.. this is nitpicking.
(PS “But… this is nitpicking” is my latest suggestion for an Afterword t-shirt)
Had half a mind to nominate The Democratic Circus. Now you’ve made a stand, I’ll park myself behind you and give a few kicks to the man down.
Roxy Music … Mother of Pearl maybe?
Trouble is, they look so damn cool even when performing a piece of nonsense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwT_SbBtX8U
There you go. Mother Of Pearl is their best song! There is a narrative thread, one that Bryan revisited many times. There’s a fabulous party going on but somehow Bryan feels excluded. After the breakdown, he yearns for the mysterious, glamorous, perfect woman who is just beyond his reach. She is almost a chimera and by the end of the song she disappears, leaving Bryan alone with his prayers. At least that’s what happens on Stranded, Roxy Music’s finest album, on which Mother Of Pearl is the finest song.
Maybe he could have done all that in 3 minutes though.
That’s too easy. Just listen to Serenade two tracks before Mother Of Pearl.
http://youtu.be/vgCe4eswoRs
Sometimes, tha band like to stretch out. Otherwise, you’d miss out on Paul Thompson’s lovely syncopated rhythm and Jobson, Manzanera and MacKay’s swirling maelstrom of instrumentation which gradually peels away as the song reaches its conclusion.
PT’s drumming is particularly ace on this album… his floor toms on Psalm for example.
I think Hepworth said that PT is as crucial to early Roxy’s greatness as is Bonzer to Zep. He’s right.
Almost a chimera? Almost a fire breathing female monster with a lion’s head, a goat’s body and a snake’s tail? Crumbs.
Her body is much more sexy than a goat’s!
Re Roxy Music stinkers.
There’s probably goes to be chorus of “You must be joking” now, but don’t you fel that “The Bogus Man” sort of … goes on a bit. At 9 mins 20 secs it’s just a tad too long. Possibly.
I rather like it’s Kraut-y aimlessness. And Bryan’s ska noises.
Good to have you back, Moose, the voice of reason.
Pink Floyd – a few to choose from pre DSOTM era
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmoDL7GirxE
De rigeur in those days to have one or two moments of mucking about on an album. I blame them Beatles, though you could say that liberated attitude enabled more creativity overall, perhaps. It was also the spirit of the times, Python, Zappa and the like. The counter-culture underground. After it all got more corporate in rock and big business, a greater degree of professionalism was required and things got less interesting. You could argue punk helped bring back some of that irreverent, free-spirited approach, for a little while.
This has got to be better than all that Grooving with a Pict nonsense. And while the More soundtrack has some great moments, they seem to be barely awake for half of it.
Interesting thread. I used to wind people up by insisting Pony Boy was Bruce’s finest piece of work. I’m actually quite fond of the track. I’ve also championed All The Tired Horses as Dylan’s finest moment (Quite fond of that as well).
Cringe…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27ATt3FXAUY
I see your Spies Like Us and raise you a Spirits of Ancient Egypt.
https://youtu.be/PRgHFMmGbVc
and this is worse than sticking a version of a Soap Opera theme on the end of the album?
Actually, yes it is.
The Crossroads theme is only about a minute long, so at least its over quick.
This is 3 times longer, and no matter how forgiving you are Denny Laines voice just aint up to it.
But there’s always hope for tomorrow. Ugh.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JfxiF5LCgaA
More stoned noodling from the master. Unbelievably, he managed to string this out for over four minutes.
I’d never heard that before. I like it.
I’ve still got my 7″ of that – its Penny Lane compared to Biker Like An Icon
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a bowl of soup
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a rolling hoop
Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle like a ton of lead
Wiggle—you can raise the dead
Read more: http://www.bobdylan.com/us/songs/wiggle-wiggle#ixzz3WLu289Qu
That is indeed a strong contender but for me the most embarrassing song in Sir Bob’s oeuvre is that hagiography of violent murderous gangster Joey Gallo,’Joey’….
‘His closest friends were black men ’cause they seemed to understand
What it’s like to be in society with a shackle on your hand’, indeed….
Can we talk about the Rolling Stones (or, as the kids like to call them, the Stones) for a moment? Leaving aside everything they’ve done since 1975, because that’s about the time I finally gave up, may I nominate the execrable ‘Angie’ as their moment of shame?
Post 75/76 may be considered an easy target – there are a LOT of contenders.
However, how about this one from Their Satanic Majesties Request
Sing This All Together (See What Happens)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DKR9KG3xGDc
….still better than Blinded By Rainbows. Ughhh.
No you may not, Ivylander, I love Angie! Silver Train, on the other hand….
I’ve always loathed their cod country songs. It’s the terrible Southern draawl and the twanging acoustic guitars, which reached their apogee with Bob Dylan at Live Aid. Most of their ‘imperial’ albums are blighted by an example. Here’s the worst one from Beggars Banquet.
Dear Doctor
You may indeed offer Angie. I’ve never understood it’s appeal. However it comes from the same album that includes Star, Star.
If that song didn’t include naughty words I believe it would rightfully be dismissed as a crock of shit. But I guess it has a tang of rebelliousness for including the F word.
Ooh naughty, naughty Sir Michael. Aren’t you the dangerous toppler of Empires?
REM: ‘Star Me Kitten’ – the profanity ruins a gracefully enigmatic song. ‘Ignoreland’ ruins the graceful mood of a mostly beautiful album.
As a massive Prince fan, it pains me to say that there are waaaay too many examples throughout his canon, but I would cite ‘Orgasm’ as a prime exhibit. Not big (well, could be actually…) and not clever.
The Housemartins worst officially released track is Everyday’s the Same – which is something they helpfully tell you in the sleevenotes to Now That’s what I Call Quite Good.
All Housemartins’ songs are pish, twee nonsense. This is a fact.
After this, Florian was reported for making nuisance phone calls.
Manic Street Preachers.
Not so much worst, but a seemingly pointless exercise having 2 versions of Repeat on Generation Terrorists.
Repeat is an OK song (which I think is a fair review), but do we really need the “Stars and Stripes” version as well?
And the debut also houses the Clash-lite attempt of “NatWest-Barclays-Midlands-Lloyds”.
But, the low point comes on their second album (Gold Against The Soul) with “Nostalgic Pushead” and “Symphony of Tourette” fighting it out for the title.
“Symphony of Tourette” of wins
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBkeIOR0pP8
I’m not suggesting the band have been clunker-free since then, but I’m not wholly convinced they’ve gone quire as low and pointless as that one
The Stars and Stripes version is there to show that they were Down With Public Enemy. (Or, to put it another way, two junior members of the Bomb Squad tossed it off one afternoon to keep somebody at Sony off their backs…)
If ever a band looked like ‘just four blokes’ instead of a ‘band’ it’s the Manky Street Cleaners.
The majesty of the Chumbas was somewhat diminished by this stinker
“The majesty of the Chumbas” is a phrase last uttered by Judith Chalmers on Wish You Were Here in 1986.
Teh Wambas’ are just embarrassing.
Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy
Nah! That’s great. They all look like a bunch of thugs.
Are we allowed dreadful remixes?
Where’s the ‘un-hear’ button?
Yeah I like it. No real stinkers in 70s McCartney. Maybe Cook Of The House?
Eurythmics, anyone? I know they’re widely loathed these days, but I loved them, especially their first two and Savage. However, few songs have me reaching for the off switch – or, as this morning, exiting a shop – as sharply as There Must Be An Angel, which perversely is their biggest hit. I just can’t bloody stand anything about it.
I’m not the world’s greatest lothario but I once managed to soften a young lady’s heart by claiming that was my favourite record, after The Beatles, of course.
Lyrical stinkers from another less enlightened century.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kPZr3c5KP0
Roger that (as it were) on the Family. Ric Grech trying to do a kind of poor man’s Dylan…. dreadful. A blot on a magnificent album, thankfully easy to skip at the beginning of side two. But then we’re into From Past Archives and all is very, very much forgiven.
The Smiths ” Panic”, awful, the rest is all brilliant obviously…….
Totally agree. Except for the bit about Panic being awful.
Huge ‘Up Arrow’ to James for posting Agent Orange. I love that band. Where else online could one find the notion of ‘ Gong is my benchmark’ ( see ‘Civilians’ thread) & then shortly after a post of early 80s California skate punk maestros AO? Nowhere, that’s where.
AW, i salute you!