Yes, it’s easy to mock, point and giggle with mirth – we all know it’s easier shouting the answers from our armchairs. That said, one of the contestants on this morning’s Popmaster was truly awful. The signs were there early on, when this exchange took place:
Ken: Ok, bonus rounds. You can have ‘Debut Hits’ or ‘the Hollies’.
Contestant: Errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmm. I’ll go for ‘the Hollies’.
Ken: ‘The Hollies’ it is then.
Contestant: I hope it’s not about the music group the Hollies – I don’t know much about them.
Ken: (completely stumped but trying to be polite) Well, I, erm, it might not be…
It’s a music quiz with a round on the Hollies. What was she expecting? Questions on Christmas-related paraphernalia, or the tree family Aquifoliaceae? She eventually limped to six points (which is two right answers), demonstrating virtually no knowledge on what was a pretty easy and broad set of questions.
So, I ask: do any terrible quizzers or quiz answers come to mind? My personal favourite is the guy who, when asked to name a famous bridge, went for The Bridge Over Troubled Waters.
Not a TV show, but we’ll worthy of inclusion.
We were having a game of Articulate with my ex’s family one Christmas. It’s the game where you have to describe the item on the card without saying any word on the card, what it rhymes with or what letter it begins with. Once your teammate gets it right you move on to the next card and try to get as many right as you can in one minute or something. There are different categories, and the ex and her sister had landed on geography. The exchange went like this:
“Capital of Australia”
“Sydney”
“Correct”
…and then they moved on to the next card. We all started to raise objections, but quickly realised that they had actually done nothing wrong. In fact, they had played the game perfectly, as Liz’s clue helped Kath guess the word on the card very quickly. Had either of them known what the capital of Australia actually was it may have taken a little longer, but it was a perfect example of two wrongs making a right.
I sometimes wonder why some people apply for Mastermind when their knowledge of their specialist subject is merely average but their general knowledge is poor. I can quite often do quite well when I’m listening to Counterpoint on Radio 4 but I’m not deluded enough to apply to compete. One of our number from the old place was on a couple of months ago and acquitted himself quite well but didn’t win IIRC.
Watching Aussie Mastermind last night – it’s on at 530 every night.
Specialist subject – Eminem. He rapped for a minute before starting.
Grand total after both rounds: 5
The leader after round 1 was on 10 points. Bang on middle of the road. A top scorer normally gets 15 – 16.
Final score: 10.
I was yelling at the television.
Celebrity Mastermind fascinates me. It’s not really the quiz that Proper Mastermind is, it’s an entertainment to benefit charities.
Without fail though anyone of them who has a specialist subject like Harry Potter or Ariana Grande will know fuck all about nowt in the general knowledge round.
It’s a regular repetition of ‘pass’ with the growing look of bewilderment on their faces at the huge number of facts there actually are.
There must be at least a hundred.
Those specialist subjects on Masremind aren’t always the contestants first choice. Reading an interview with (can’t remember who? might’ve been John Bishop) when asked most people gave a subject they knew about, one they sort of knew, and a random one to make up the numbers.
Mastermind the chose the subject and let the sleb know. In this case it was the random subject – cue much reading of wikipedia
It’s something that always baffles me. The number of people who think it’s a good idea to go on a TV general knowledge quiz when they have absolutely no knowledge of anything. I could post hundreds of examples simply by digging out copies of Private Eye and reposting the ‘Dumb Britain’ column.
Celebrity versions of quizzes can be very tedious when it’s a comedian trying to be amusing about how little they know.
Joe and Josie Public love to be on telly, whatever the circumstances.
Wrt celebs – I remember watching Ricky Hatton on Celebrity Mastermind doing dismally and feeling so bad for him. He took it all with a chuckle and, of course, he was there to raise money for some laudable charity, but it was torture to watch..
You’ve just reminded me of his appearance on The Weakest Link. When Anne Robinson tried to shame him for his lack of knowledge he replied, ‘I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Anne, but I get hit in the head for a living.’
True enough. As an aside it’s been interesting to see how comedians have generally dominated Richard Osman’s House of Games.
One thing that has bugged me for years is a young contestant saying : “well…Elvis Presley is *slightly* before my time…” as if a question about Elvis is fundamentally unfair because they weren’t alive when Elvis was active. Not just Elvis, this is an example.
Richard Osman, to his credit, picks up on it when contestants do this on Pointless.
Wasn’t there the answer given to the question what is Elvis Presley’s middle name?
Er ……. Costello?
Or is that just apocryphal?
Could well be true.
Aaron. It was the name of his twin brother who died at birth.
No, his brother was Jesse Garon Presley. Incidentally, his parents used the spelling Aron on his birth records, but official state records had the spelling with two A’s. Later on, Elvis said that he preferred the latter, biblical spelling.
Serves me right for not checking first. Thanks !
Both wrong. Elvis the Pelvis had a twin brother called Enis but they wouldn’t let him sing.
Thank you, thank you…
Trivia alert – both Scott Walker & Paddy McAloon have written songs about Jesse Presley.
And isn’t Nick Cave’s The Firstborn Is Dead, with attendant song Tupelo, on the same theme?
16 year olds should try this when they are asked to write about Shakespeare for GCSE English.
“Before my time”. Three-word essay right there.
Deformed, unfinish’d, sent before my time
Into this breathing world, scarce half made up,
And that so lamely and unfashionable
That dogs bark at me as I halt by them;
And heaven knows I’m miserable now…
This song sums it all up
I fast-forward Pointless every day just for the music questions.
A couple of guys recently, about 35-40, were so petrified – you could see the terror in their eyes – of a fairly mundane subject like Rock in Film (e.g. name an Elvis film) that they convinced themselves they’d do better on a subject like 18th Century female literature.
If three resounding Xs is doing better, I guess they made the right decision
The two finalists today chose Olympic Gymnastics rather than Folk Rock and Celtic Punk. I am very disappoint. All three of their answers were completely wrong.
A repeat. Celtic punk does come up later, you can guess the name of a band that features.
Exactly.
I like gymnastics but who on earth knows anything about it.
Celtic Punk probably means name a U2 top 40 single.
I own ‘no’ U2 top 40 singles.
I’ll go….
1. A Celebration
2. Fire
and erm, was a song called Numb a single?
Won’t risk it… 3. Two Hearts Beat as One.
How did I do?
Celtic Punk – unlikely to be The Defects or The Outcasts.
Probably The Undertones, Boomtown Rats, or Ash
(may also include Thin Lizzy and Big Country)
The Pogues Shirley?
Yes it was The Pogues or they were at least part of the question
Name a member of Fairport Convention was also part of that episode. I would have been a treble winner!
I think I could have got a good pointless one there.
Dan Ar Braz.
My three were Roger Burridge, Shaun Frater and Tom Farnell.
At Thompson’s 70th I was in the same room as two Pointless pointless answers Loudon Wainwright 111 and Harry Shearer.
Yes, that was one. I also got Trevor Lucas and Jerry Donnelly.
Sorry, meant Jerry Donahue
Puts on smarmy, insincere Alexander Armstrong voice:
“Oh, that’s so sad, Kjwilly! So close to the £1,000 jackpot only to lose out.
Still, you will get to take home a coveted Pointless trophy….”
Nice to know there are fellow viewers here.
I watch that live whenever I can work permitting. A. nice intro to cooking dinner and opening the wine!
I fast forward Pointless for the inane chit chat that seems to make up 70% of each programme.
And Mastermind is no more than a pub quiz these days, and the questions are so long, it seems they’re written to give John Humphreys maximum speaking time, rather than actually trying to gauge how much the contestants know.
I can’t stand Alexander Armstrong’s chitchat on Pointless. For someone who is, I believe, a Cambridge graduate, and would potentially have a wide vocabulary, he seems hellbent on reducing adjectives of approbation to two words: nice or fun.
“So tell us what you do”
“I’m the chief paperclip sorter for a firm of chartered accountants”
“Oh, that’s fun”
or
“I clear blockages in sewers with my bare hands”
“Oh that’s nice”
It’s not!
Which one?
Don’t get Diappointing Bob hear you say that; huge fan!
I am a big fan of the programme too.Alexander Armstrong doesnt irritate me too much except for repeating the questions. Unnecessary – if they dont get the first time thata their tough titties
I like it too. I reckon a lot of the repetition comes from doing all the chat and repeated phrases after every round so every show can be edited to the correct length and, probably more importantly, that it started off as a half hour programme which still doesn’t quite merit the 45 minutes it is now given.
I think the 45 minutes is so that when it is shown on ‘Challenge’ tv with the added adverts it’ll last an hour. Probably why some of the afternoon shows are 45 minutes too.
The repition is also to allow viewers at home time to formulate their answers. Nothing switches viewers off more than not having enough time to get thier own attempts in.
Oh, that’s fun.
I have noticed something about his banter with Richard Osman. At the end of each sequence he pauses and says “Thank you very much”’ or “Thank you very much indeed” (something like that).
This is an editing point because the witty exchanges don’t always work or they are too long. Having Alexander say something like that allows the preceding exchange to be cut if it’s not needed.
“Achievement” in Britain is now pooled from such a narrow source that Alexander Armstrong and Boris Johnson simply went into wrong rooms in a facility situated between Oxford and Cambridge, circa 1988, with one coming out a quiz show host after having hoped to be PM, and the other PM after having hoped to be a quiz show host.
How would anyone, least of all them, notice the difference?
He’s a massive loser, obviously. Accomplished choral singer, smart man, half of a genuinely excellent comedy duo who made some of the better sketches of the last 20 years or so, handsome, an obvious sweetie. I realise his naysayers here are infinitely superior to him in intellect and accomplishment but has it occurred to any of you that he presents a teatime quiz show, not Civilisation With Alexander Armstrong? Featherlight chitchat is a feature, not a bug.
Nods, nods, sound of screeching tyres … Handsome? Eye of the beholder I suppose.
I know quite a few women who crush very hard on ol’ Xander. He’s not my type, but he’s a very presentable chap.
Nothing to do with intellect (see “Boris Johnson”), simply that if he’d wanted to be an MP at 30 he’d have been fast-tracked to a shoe-in seat near Henley slightly quicker than 99% of the population. Obviously. Went to Cambridge and meritocracy went out with mono recordings.
Don’t dislike him but clearly him, Johnson, Cameron etc. are interchangeable.
Having seen him years ago at a Thompson 1000 Years gig and in one of his exchanges he mentioned talking to the wife of Harry Shearer ( Judith Owen who of course sang with Thompson on the 1000 years gigs). I reckon hid fit in well here.
Less certain…..
A & M were properly good, particularly during their stint at C4.
“Come on, Chuffy….”
“Ponytail!” *boaks*
That was desperately sad, that sketch.
On that subject, so was the Mitchell & Webb one about the alcoholic in the corner shop.
Oh, that’s nice.
Afterword connection.
Some friends of ours were playing Articulate, when “fox” came up as one of the words.
No problem, thinks my mate, the wife will get this in a jiffy, I know exactly what to do.
“Actor, Michael J vulpes vulpes”, he stated triumphantly.
Silence and a bewildered look…
Everyone’s fave is surely the apparently real answer to the question
“Name a bird with a long neck”.
“Naomi Campbell”.
Mythical tale from a US quiz Show:
“Where is the strangest place you’ve made love?”
Wife looks at Husband, he smiles ad encourages her.
“Up my ass”
Groucho Marx on “You Bet Your Life” to a female contestant :
G : “How many children do you have?”
C : “Fourteen!”
(Groucho reacts – audience laughter)
C : “well…I… I…love my husband!”
G : “I love my cigar but I take it out of my mouth every now and then!”
I was just about to post that!!
Wow, whoever titled that clip really understands comedy….
There was a Prog Rock category in the Pointless final once. Don’t think it was ever chosen though.
My guess would be:
Any member of King Crimson
Any member of Yes
Albums remixed by Steven Wilson
That has been aired
I cannot remember the questions but I am sure members of Yes was one of them.
I suggested Bill Bruford and he was a pointless answer.
£120k would have been mine…not.
Smart answer – works for 2 categories. Was he pointless in both?
Robert Fripp and Rick Wakeman were probably the highest scorers
Both of those got points I believe,
Jon Anderson was a double figure score as well with Steve Howe the highest I think.
They were all below 20.
It was on recently.
Yes members was an option, songs on a Floyd comp. another, but the easiest one was “any act in a Top 50 Prog albums poll in Rolling Stone magazine.”
They narrowly missed the prize, going for the other categories, but the answer for the Top 50 was anyone apart from the obvious five or so.
So, Soft Machine, Gong, King Crimson etc. and it was ker-ching.
Steven Wilson got mentioned on a civilian TV show?
Screenshot or it didn’t happen.
It didn’t happen
There was a famously notorious answer on Family Fortunes:
Q – Name a dangerous race
A – The Arabs
On one of these Saturday Night Lottery shows – probably with dale Winton or Eamon Holmes, they once had a cocky bloke on who scoffed at every answer and once or twice sighed and said “bit easy”. Fair dos he got the final big payout question.
He looked at the possible answers, said “You might as well write the cheque now” and then gave the wrong answer.
What a pillock he looked
Yeah, but there’s something unloveable about the other extreme:
I think it was on that new quiz show whee that silly woman whose name I cant re.rmber but who thinks she is Anne Robinson:
Q: which airline began life as Queensland and Northern Territories Aerial service
A: Airbus
Ffs.
I used to work with someone who had been on 3 or 4 different afternoon quiz shows as a contestant. He said it was easier to get on them than you might think, as not that many people apply, and quite a few get nerves during the audition process and drop out. He was trying to find a way into TV, and this was one of the things he tried, like being a runner on low budget films. He said he met other contestants on the shows who were on them for the same reason. That was a few years ago, but “Quizzing” in itself now seems to have become a professional strand of entertainment in itself leading to careers as an Egghead or a Chaser.
There do seem to be some “serial” contestants.
I remember the Stainers (especially the very lovely Katie Bramall-Stainer) on a few shows, including Only Connect, hubby David also won Brain of Britain on the radio last year I think.
That said, Uni Challenge phenom Gail Trimble struggled like a mere mortal at Only Connect when she was on.
Well, Only Connect isn’t really a quiz, I’d say. More an exercise in lateral thinking.
Indeed, the winners of last week’s Only Connect final self describe as Puzzle solvers not quizzers.
and when the delectable VCM says “top quizzing” you just know her tongue is planted firmly in her cheek
Stop this now… please
A really good OC question is completely baffling and when it’s revealed you think “of course! Why didn’t I get that?”.
Due to its complete lack of touchy-feely high fives and hugs, its transition to COVID protocols was barely noticeable.