I am pleased and privileged and indeed humbled to announce that I am making a few enhancements to my leadership team and I hope you’re as excited as I clearly am.
I have been instructed – I mean – I have decisively instructed myself with NOONE else involved- to invite Lord Cameron to join his …MY team. Mine. As Foreign Secretary. MY Foreign Secretary. All right? Good.
I thank the former Home Secretary, Suella Braverman, for her tireless service to my administration but (chuckle) don’t let the door hit you on the “lifestyle choice” when you leave! (Cheeky grin – confused silence)
Anyway, stability is key and what could be more reassuring and stable than a failed former PM who caused all of this in 2016?
I can reassure everyone that we get it. We have listened and now we are not going to be silly any more. Bleep! I’ve lost my sausages! Nanu Nanu!