I’ve decided to return under my own familiar moniker, soiled as it may be, so I’ll just do what I do best and dump a list here. It’s all the “clean skin” names I was considering returning under.
You want any of ’em? Fill yer boots, chums.
Assaulty Dogg
Buffalo Shelbyville
Samuel F*ckwitt
Air and Neville
Five Loaves Left
Darkyr Earlyer
Brewer’s Bitch
Famous Matt Topcoat
Grayson Danger
Syco Candide
Brimful of Gnasher
Syd Jarrett
Technical Sergeant Eliot
Error Twilight
Matthew Sour
Marvin Goy
Goose Jazz
Age of Chauncey
Babylon’s Berni
Petsounds The Younger
Killer Mina Funk
Fuster Klick
Hey Moose welcome back.
I find changes of nom de plume very confusing. We need a reference table.
But if I were to adopt one of your list it would be Babylon’s Bernie
Please pay attention. The spelling is crucial. It’s someone listening to the Ruts… while eating a gammon steak.
Ohhhhh!
A 15 minute edit window? I’m only just back and I’ve had an “excitement accident” already.
nah sorry- don’t get it
Berni, as opposed to Bernie.
Berni Inns was a chain of faux posh UK steak houses.
Re: Berni Inns
Yes indeed.
Sample menu:
Starter: Prawn cocktail
Main course: Gammon steak with pineapple
Dessert: Black Forest Gateau
….and an Irish coffee.
I’d have one of those right now.
There, I’ve said it.
Gammon Steak. Nobody says,gammon anymore! See also,Scampi. Wtf IS scampi?
Brewer’s Bitch, please. Earlier today I used the words “Moose” and “downed tools” in the same sentence – I knew that weakness for Owl porn would draw you out..
Too-wit Too-woo!
I know a song about owls (so would you if you caught the latest car boot cloudcast).
Cor! There’s music on those things as well?
Welcome back!
Brimful of Gnasher gets my vote.
Welcome back. Nobody does it better. I’ll have Samuel Fickwitt please. Or should that be Fackwitt? Or Feckwitt? Or Fockwitt?
I think Fyckwitt sounds posher. Or possibly Ffyckwitt, pronounced “Fitt”.
Moose is back! Have a manly Hurrr from me. Stick to the tried and tested moniker. I think we all agree it carries a certain gravitas around here. Anyway, I’m far too dazed and confused to remember my own name, let alone cope with anyone else changing theirs.
Now down to business; any chance you could have word with Mr Saucecraft, Mr Bisto, and the various other recently lost souls?
Well, I just crawled out of the sweat lodge where I was sequestered with HP, Dis Bob, Bisto, Faux Geordie and even the noble Bob Numbers.
Truth be told, I was expelled for generating too much steam.
Well that is good news and should be celebrated with a song.
But don’t forget! We know what you did last summer …..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FGCODdJWRYU
Well if you Swedes left some decent stuff in yer bins….
You’ve been missed so much, Moose! Welcome back.
I’ll have Syco Candide please.
X Factor plus Noise Rock plus French Rudeness.
Very appropriate.
Oh, that feels sooooo good!
Syco Candide, qu’est ce c’est?
Ooh la la!
Assaulty Dogg? Very good.
I Pale in comparison.
Welcome back, sir! Syd Jarrett, a plumber from Bromsgrove who still skins up on a Friday night then listens to Meddle on repeat.
You’ll never grout alone.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!!!!!!!!! 🎉💜🎈🎉💜🎈
*regains composure*
…..alright mate?
Always nice to see your balloons.
Yippeeeeeeeeee!
Hats in the air! Welcome back. Grayson Danger for me, ta very much
wElkome back.
Welcome back, Moosie!
Famous Matt Topcoat, eh! Respeck!!
May your entendres stay paired, Mr Hulltramarine.
Nice to have you back, Moosey.
May your antlers always be velvety.
Welcome back Moose. That list of names makes me think of the (really quite funny) vandalism that has occurred on So Solid Crew’s Wikipedia page. See below for an (oldish) example.
https://profanityswan.com/2012/01/05/wikipedias-so-solid-crew-list/
That is fantastic. Moose and that = a good start to the day.
Shouldn’t reply to my own post really;
The Afterword No-Longer Solid Crew, Thanks to Dulcolax
Ctrl-Alt-Delete
Snopake
Gerald Tha’ Gorilla
Gerald Nabarro
Triumph Gerald
JD Sportz
A.J.P Taylor
DJ Taylor
Gregg Da Baker
Hot Wheelz
Mattchboxx Superfast
Hendersonz Relish
Kid Charlemagne
A19
Ermine Street
Phantom Pregnancy
Eric Hobsbawm
That last one is rubbish. Sorry.
PS I’ll see your Ctrl-Alt-Delete and raise you an Attack-Decay-Sustain-Release.
Dulcolax – don’t you mean duco0l-lax?
Ay, ay, ay, ay…etc.
Modern Romance eh?
Oy, oy, oy, oy…
Famous Matt Topcoat sounds good to me. Welcome back! I’ve pictured you on a seasonal migration to northern climes for the summer and hoped you would return when the weather cooled and your antlers were calling you south again 🙂
Actually, I did spend a lot of the summer in Northumberland, possibly the greatest place in the world. Had a grand old time, and have now come down to earth with a bump. Distractions are needed. Comfort. Safety. Snuggling, even.
(….sorry. Always worth a try)
Feel free, Moosey -Snugglebunny, c’est moi! I know what you mean about distractions and the rest too.
I’ve just listened to a track with a particularly good* breakdown, and it occurred to me that it’d sound great said in a Hull accent. So, @moose-the-mooche, would you mind saying “Christmas disco bongo solo”?
*a subjective term I’ll admit
Mmm. Christmas Discerr Bongerr Serrlerr.
Splendid. Not least because the phrase reminds me of Ray Ellington off the Goon Show, peace and blessings be upon him.
In other news, today I bought some vahn rahpened tomaterrrs.
Honestly, Sockpuppet Amnesty is the best of the lot.
Hey, man…..I was beginning to worry…..how’s it hangin’?
I do like Assaulty Dogg as an alternative moniker….
Dogg is of course a reference to Matt Johnson’s brother.
Too obscure? Pah! Try the last one!
Welcome back, Moosey.
A colleague brought in a some home-grown pyrus communis this morning. I’m presently having a nibble on her firm pear.
Well, the ripening process must have been worth the wait.
By the way, you’ve got sticky juice on your chin.
I’ve been munching on Victoria’s plums. I’m beginning to have my doubts that Victoria hasn’t been exactly straight with me.
Bloody mail-order brides…
Good to read you Moosey.
Good to squeeze yer, old chum.
When I changed my username I almost became Quadring Eudike, my favourite road sign on the A17.
…an endless noodling Progstrumental if ever I heard one.
Assaulty Dogg. Syd Jarrett. Very good.
Ah Mr Moose … we’ve been expecting you
(No we haven’t. Who let him back in?)
Darkyr Earlyer
Am I the only one who immediately gets a vision of the Blog being visited by the ghost of Derek Guyler under a pseudonym
Awww, yusss!
What are you talking about? I have no idea what your post means.
You’re not missing anything.
Moose, my joy at your return is great.
It can only be compared with the feelings of a Norwegian baker’s lass who discovers that a large forest dweller has sneaked in during the night and given her buns rather a lot of unexpected attention.
“Scuse me love, have you got large white floury baps?”
Grayson Danger gets my vote. What adventures!
Welcome back, Grayson Dangermoose.
He’s got an eyepatch, and fights crime with an Echoplex.
I’ve got pirate copies of all his stu- I SAID I’VE GOT PIRATE COP- …PIRATE… EYEPATCH… oh c’mon work with me here, I can’t do this all on my own, throw me a bone* already wiwya?
*fnarr, obvs.
Don’t yer mean fnARRRRR…
There’s me keeping the standard of the blog high, as ever
Oh first-class work there, very solid input indeed, so soon after your return.
I may have just had a little ‘excitement accident’ myself. Thankyou very much.
Burn those socks…
Tried. Ain’t happening. Completely unimflammable. I’ve offered them to the Chernobyl* people.
*?possible opening here for the ‘Chernobyl fall off’ gag? Just a thought. You’re the expert, I’ll leave it in your capables.
The Cherno Bill joke was made not long ago on here, anniversary style.
I agree that it’s very difficult to burn things that are sodden with inseminary oozings.
it’s like that – and that’s the way it is.
Dawww, ‘Chemistry’ eh??!! What’s it like??!! Maaaad!!!!
Wait, ‘Inseminary Oozings’?? Is that that Tallis Scholars / Enya mash-up? Doesn’t raylleh flert mah bert, Christian Rock.
Chris Rock! Everybody Hates Raymond! etc.