In this place and its predecessor, The Afterword T-Shirt Slogan is a meme (not very long ago, I had to look up what ‘meme’ meant so apologies if I’ve misapplied it). Someone makes a comment on a thread. Another picks out a phrase and declares it a great idea for an Afterword T-Shirt. The latest example is “Gong is my benchmark” as concocted by Ainsley and man.of.soup on the Civilians thread. Over the years, there must have been hundreds.
Besides, we have a T-Shirt designer amongst us. Wheldrake has the skills as detailed on Noticeboard. I’d love a T-Shirt that is different to the mainstream and chimes with my interests. I do have to point out, however, that my age and build require a collar. Otherwise, I look like a retired roady. But, I’m willing to make an exception if the slogan’s right.
Summer is coming & soon we’ll be able to cast our clouts. So, Afterworders, let’s dredge our memories and surface with Afterword T-Shirt slogans. You never know, dreams could become reality!
Whilst you are dredging, here’s a video on How To Make A Gong Shirt. It may be relevant. I haven’t actually watched it.
Wonderful idea. But the idea that we can reach a consensus on one design? Unlikely.
GCU has a great eye for these memorable Afterwordisms.
This isn’t about consensus. It’s about generating a long list! We can decide what to do with the long list once we have one.
In my house, I’m only allowed to listen to music in the car.
You have to park your car in the HOUSE?!
Parking the car in the house is fine. But, if I do, I’m not allowed to listen to music in it. The car, that is.
Park your car in the house. Hur-hur-hur.
Sorry, @minibreakfast channelling my inner @moose-the-mooche there.
Channelling. Sorry . . .
Sometimes you have to make do with the driveway. Or one of those multi-storey things.
Christ, that’s tortuous, even by my standards
Y’know, taking a car into a multi-storey car park is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. First, you’ve got to make sure you’ve raised your barrier, otherwise you aren’t going anywhere. Then, . .
Don’t stop there. I might learn something.
I look like a retired roady. There’s a t shirt there.
I made one with ‘ I’ve swum with the cod off Grimsby’ can’t remember who’s that one was,
Does it matter if I haven’t actually swam in the Freshney?
There is no cod in the Freshney, unless you count Big Bernie’s Fish Platter in the Barge pub, which you might not survive long enough to get the t-shirt.
*shivers*
I did a job for Body Shop in the 90s, when Anita Roddick still ran the place. We, the crew, were issued with bright green T shirts bearing the legend “Recycled Roadie”
I want one. Do they do large?
Crew shirts are always large. Or bigger.
Great! I’ll have one.
I did ‘roadie’ as a teenager for a local group called Snatchback. They were good but not good enough.
“I did a job for Body Shop”. You sound like the wussiest hit-man ever. “Some out out of town jojoba dealers were stealing some of our action, and I hadta ice one with an organic loofah”
I broke a finger nail too.
if in doubt, the answer is probably “Stay” by David Bowie…
– I’m sure that was a quote by Sheev (maybe?) in the old place
That’s better than I remember it. I thought it was “The answer is always David Bowie”.
as usual the answer is…
or was it, the answer as usual is…
Either way it was a memorable phrase.
That’s it. That’s it! I remember it really well. Perfectly well, in fact.
“As usual, the answer is David Bowie”
I’m meme-worthy on The Afterword – I’ve made it!
You’ve always been meme-worthy to me, Ainsley!
” No Flouncing “
Several.
“I’ve created a playlist called Mid-Life Crises I-VII”
“Weapons of Mosh Dissection”
“There Ain’t No Rafferty Claus”
“Lose Time Now. Ask Me How”
“I Went to 1971 And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt”
“Frankie Says Arm The Unembarrassed”
“Bitch, I’ve Got a Mellotron”
“Cool As Faux”
“Is There Gas In the Massive? Yes, There’s Gas In The Massive”
“Rock and Roll Ain’t Noise Pollution, Though I May Be Air Pollution”
“Me So CrumHorny”
“I Open Up For Gatefold Sleeves”
The voice of reason!
I knew somebody would have kept a track of these things. Where’s sal?
http://i1060.photobucket.com/albums/t449/GCU_Grey_Area/sal_zps849ea640.jpg
I think I should have one of those.
Hi @tiggerlion. While I do have an enormous number of lists of threads, (a) they don’t include the T-shirt thread, and (b) none of them work at the moment anyway. It would be really great to get access to the archive of the old Afterword site, but I’m guessing (@admin1, @tim_admin2-2, @hannah) that this isn’t going to happen any time soon.
I remember the T-shirt thread – it was quite early on. I made an Afterword T-shirt for it – in the style of the Aftermath cover, with Hepworth, Ellen, Fraser, Kate and Collins pasted in. I was rather fond of it, but now I can’t find a copy anywhere.
Such is life.
I knew I could rely on your memory. Did that T-shirt have a slogan?
Found it!
http://i1366.photobucket.com/albums/r761/salwarpe1/Afterword_zpsch1ctinh.png
How topical!
Word Magazine hasn’t aged well, has it?
In fact it’s dead, isn’t it?
Great T-shirt, though. Much better than the album.
I LOVE THAT! I WANT ONE!
The Mono versions are better
I prefer the second album
Yes, it does HAVE to be in Alphabetical Order
I prefer the early demos
Even Steven Wilson Couldn’t Clean Me Up
My Ipod’s Too Progalicious For You
*applauds the Steven Wilson one*
Famous popular song comes on the radio.
Wife: ‘Oh, I like this.’
Me: ‘I prefer the b-side.’
It’s nearly always true.
There are variations.
For ’19th Nervous Breakdown’ and ‘I Can See For Miles’, for example, you can say ‘I prefer the US b-side’.
For ‘Mr. Pleasant’, you can say ‘I prefer the export-only b-side’.
“I prefer the B-side” is a good one.
Otherwise, I think you were aiming for the Civilians thread.
Re: “For ‘Mr. Pleasant’, you can say ‘I prefer the export-only b-side’.”
“This is Where I Belong”? Nice choice there, Mr daze ….
Some recent(ish) Observations From The Afterword, Which Have Tickled Me;
‘Saveloys in theguardian’
‘Shite Enough For Beany’
‘It’s Like Beany’s, but Listenable’
‘Rob_C’s Crafty Jazz Gaspers’
‘Brie Solicitor Discretion’
‘Struggling With The Reformation’
‘Crab Stick Postcodes’
‘L.Ron Hoover’s Church Of Applianceology’
‘Jocastas With Hampers’
‘The Spatula-Donkey Incident’
‘Ketamine Nachos’
‘Jihadi Hen-Nights’
‘The Defining Funk Of The Cow-bell’
‘Ubertwunt’
and
http://i1060.photobucket.com/albums/t449/GCU_Grey_Area/dfecde98.jpg
That’s me. Bit of fixation, the old crumhorn. My parents had a lot of folk-rock records in the 70s so they’re obviously part of some awful primal memory.
And it’s a funny word.
What a list! Is that all from memory or do you keep notes?
Me? Me sad b*stard, me keep notes. Tragic, but true. Blame this site, it gives me much joy. . .
Can I have “Serial Flouncer” size medium, please?
Medium? MEDIUM?? How do you manage that?
Only one from me
“My wife hates my taste in music”
and on the back it could say:
“… and so does just about everyone else I meet”
I allude to this in the one about the car.
I want one that says:
What are we listening to, exactly?
On the back, “You won’t have heard of them.”
I know. I was thinking that Pencil’s header with no slogan would be rather fetching on a T-shirt.
A few more….
Yes, I Am Lubed Up For Analogue
I Have Tasted The Maggots In The Mind of The Universe. I Was Not Offended
I AM LIVING THE DERAM
I AM LIVING THE DERAM – brilliant, I honestly think we have a winner.
I agree, I think @moose-the-mooche has just won the interweb.
retired
I AM LIVING THE DERAM – I think that neatly ties into the thread about us & civilians, in that it is elitist enough to give all that understand it a nice warming glow of smugness/ superiority.
This fella loves his Deram. Or, at least, his Lionel Bart LP.
Aftermath hasn’t aged well has it? would work
Also – Last of the famous international bien pensants
Haven’t heard much from Gerry Rafferty lately.
My night of shame with a Fray Bentos pie
Lager Lager Lager Typing
Very good. You are getting closer to this century.
If I was Dave Amitri I could legitimately wear a t shirt that read:
“I made Professor Brian Cox’s wife come..”
with
“.. To The Word blog”
on the back.
I’m haven’t seen Dave about for a while. Was he lost when the ship went down?
Just spotted him posting earlier today, though can’t remember where, possibly the thread about the oldest profession.
But whither Faux, he posted when we reconvened, but hasn’t been seen since.
No, there he is over on the thread that hangs its head in shame.
Dave Amitri is in the house.
Is he listening to music in his car?
“Would you take me by the hand, give me a packet of Daz”
Humourless soi-disant Guardianista and proud of it.
I find The Guardian quite funny.
You missed ‘bien pensant’ there
The really worrying un-civilian thing is that I realised that I had meant bien pensant rather than soi disant while dozing this morning and have just hurried downstairs to correct it.
Kate. Cake. Cunt.
Do you realise that you just said that out loud?
It’s an old MOJO message board thing about The Massive.
Which thread is that slogan from?
Our future King’s priorities right there
Arf! I take it that number three bears no relationship to number one?
Not for the first time, I feel like an enormous ignoramus staring up the anus of a hippopotamus. Had to look up what DERAM was. (It’s a record label from the 60s).
“I feel like an enormous ignoramus staring up the anus of a hippopotamus” is my favourite so far.
I can understand the problem Deram predates Bob Carolgees first appearance on the telly box by a good few years and I don’t picture him listening to The Moody Blues or Procol Harum in his youth.
No, he went out and bought a dog called Spit and The Punk Rock was born.
Bob and Andy Warhol were great friends, you know. Andy saw the act as situationist conceptual art. And if he didn’t, he should have done – if he had actually met him.
No, I’m fine.
“The Afterword: My Regal Zonophone”
The Afterword: It’s All About the He-Said She-Said Blogshit
Do you think the addition of a consonant would improve that? “It’s all about the She-Said She-Said Blogshit”? I do so love Revolver.
The Afterword: Compulsive Cataloging of Culture
The Afterword: How many songs about chickens can YOU name?
The Afterword: It’s Not All Lists And Puns. (on the back) No, Wait. It Is.
The Afterword: Listomania!
There you go – lists, a pun, a self-deprecating joke and an obscure cultural reference all in one word. On the back it says “I could explain it to you but it’s probably not worth it.”
I’d give you an up, chiz, if I could.
Tell me, when your mum was out, did we listen to Bridge Over Troubled Water in your flat in, oh, I dunno, 1971, and giggle at the naughty bits?
The Afterword:
He said Captain. I said Beefheart.
I like it. However, doesn’t it work better if the youngster reading it is familiar with Captain Sensible’s single but not the Jazz freakery of the old growler?
“The youngster reading it” – you’re funny.
Youngsters reading t-shirts. Or anything.
By ‘youngster’ I mean anyone under fifty.
It’ll give you Ronnie Wood.
What will?
Squirrelgate
I’ve really no idea. I’ll have a go, though.
“Catflap”
Not tellin’.
You are no fun… Have you listened to To Pimp A Butterfly yet?
The puppy dog is lovely but your own work is beautiful, pencil. Why that avatar?
Nope. I’ve been too busy listening to Ryley Walker Tigg but I have changed my profile piccy just for you my friend.
I much prefer that one. Thank you. You have so many to choose from.
Today, I listened to Astral Weeks, Solid Air and Bryter Layter. Am I missing anything?
The Afterword: post
Hmm. That baffles me, too, I’m afraid. Post modern, I could understand, maybe?
Not a latin student then?
I’m not saying it’s funny, but it’s true; the word for after in Latin is post. Which we do. A lot.
In that case; “The Afterword: post logus”. I’ve got a Latin O Level, you know.
Missing the double meaning there though…!
Erm…right..er. Try a space bar “post log us”
I think we’re both trying too hard now…in the words of the song: “Let’s call the whole thing off!” 🙂
I know. I’m overthinking things. Just like Moose.
“I’m overthinking things. Just like Moose.”
Now that’s a T-shirt slogan only the AW clique will understand!
A classical pedant writes: ‘logos’ is the Greek for ‘word’. The Latin would be ‘verbum’. Neither of which particularly add to Locust’s rather neat joke. As you were.
This would make the Greek for Afterword ‘metalogos’, from which we could easily derive “meta-logue” which I propose should be used to describe any long post that mentions Gerry Rafferty, TMFTL, etc.
I’m no scholar but ‘logus’ is definitely Latin and means word. It also means joke or bon mot, even, which is where I was trying to be intellectual and funny at the same time. ‘Post logus’ meaning joky afterword. Clearly, I failed at both.
http://www.latin-dictionary.net/search/latin/Logus
hmm, so it is. I don’t recall ever coming across it in my Lain studies though. You may gauge for yourself how appropriate for the Afterword it is to pick a semi-obscure alternative when there is a much more common version that most people would be satisfied with, of course 😉
I went too far. I confused myself. Best draw a veil.
‘People called Romanes, they go the house?’
No AW – No Comment
Clunky 80’s production .
So, then, @-Wheldrake, any ideas worth running with?
Let’s try again. @wheldrake
Front: Trolls ate my interweb 2014
Back: Afterword Redux 2015
A couple of similar threads ran on the original Word site, where the web community was known as ‘The Massive’
I suggested a t-shirt with the slogan ‘I’m A Massive Member’
No sale.
I would have bought one!
I suggest we all print t-shirts with our blog nameson and wear them to visits to national and international Afterword hubs, such as Fopp on Earlham Street.
names on.
As in “I’m Tiggerlion and I’m a Massive Member”?
Some nice ideas there from the Massive but I’m amazed that no-one has come up with the ultimate Afterword t-shirt slogan. One that gets repeated at regular intervals….
WHERE’S BURT?
😉
Shouldn’t that be “Whither Burt?”
You Are Burt Kocain and I Claim My Five Pounds.
No. I think Mr Blast called it right. @camille is Burt in disguise.
I say you chaps – I take it a bit ill that the only mensh I’m getting here is a despairing cry for me to come and make this dreadful place bearable again for the Thinking Person. I can state with all honesty and without a trace of vainglory that it was I – pauses to buff nails on lapel of blazer – who invented the idea of the Afterword t-shirt, extracting quotes from comments and adding “Afterword T-shirt” for comedic effect. It was one of the many innovations I made that have gone unheralded, be it out of personal bitterness and envy or sheer … sheer … stockings? No … forgetfulness? Anyway. It’s MY idea and you bastards better just watch it, that’s all, right?
I can’t remember any now, of course, except “we’re not all menopausal” which I think was from one of Hanna’s comments.
I am.
That is all fine and dandy, Mr HPSelectivememory, but Wheldrake has already copyrighted the ‘idea’ in order to mass produce the product. He already has access to a sweatshop and has the necessary kit. It is only a matter of time before the streets of London, Manchester, Leeds and, indeed, Bangkok are thronged with people wearing cheap colour-stained cloth bearing a pithy Afterword slogan.
You’ll have to pay for one just like everybody else. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business.
I’m providing the sweat.
Hur X3
The creativity of the artist and the labour of the working man once again gets rode roughshod over by the heel of, er, tyranny and the, er, hegemony of the capitalist plutocracy.
(Afterword t-shirt)
…..see how long he’s been doing this???
Who? Me?
No…. him.
I’m waiting for the Nutmeg Comedown re-union.
That’s a bit long for a T-shirt slogan, don’t you think?
My top five:
5. Recycled Roadie
4. Living The Deram
3. Even Steve Wilson Can’t Clean Me Up
2. I’m A Massive Member
1. Whither Burt
Just a thought….
Redbubble.com, where I upload my lovely designs, is easy to set up. They handle all the production, printing and dispatch and VAT payment, you just set a mark up on each item (usually 20%) and then once you hit £65 or more that send you the money.
Perhaps, in collaboration with the Admins, we could set up an Afterword account. That way all proceeds could go towards the running of the site (rather than into my pocket).
Magnanimous, me.
I’m in! I think we need to tag admin so they gather like bees to a honey pot!
@hannah @tim_admin2-2 @admin1
*buzzes over*
Hello! What a brilliant idea. Thank you, Wheldrake, anything that keeps the servers fired up and the site running is always appreciated.
If you or one of the other Admins have time, have a look at Redbubble.com
If you guys set up an Afterword account, supply the login and password to those of us who “make things look pretty on computers” and we can start the ball rolling. There’s a few good ideas on this thread, so let’s see what happens.
No copyright infringement allowed, so we’d have to be careful what we stick up there but the whole thing sorts of looks after itself. Dead easy.
“Be Careful What We Stick Up There”
– there’s another one.
Very generous of you @wheldrake. A brilliant idea.
Of course, the chances of us agreeing on a slogan ……..
One way or another I intend to get myself a “Gong is my yardstick” T shirt this summer.
The beauty of it is we don’t have to stick to one.
I know there are a couple of other designers on here. If we all have access and the ability to upload designs, we can have a whole range. Even one-offs. Plus if non-afterword people buy them – bonus! More money for the Afterword coffers.
Afterword Merchandise. It started here!
If we ever get as far as an actual t-shirt (and I really hope we do) can we bear in mind that some of us are Massive in more than one sense.
It would be traumatic to say the least if I couldn’t get a very, very, very large – happily pay extra for a bigger size. XXL won’t cut it!
I want one with nipple holes.
Perhaps we need to combine an outsize t-shirt with a yurt.
If you will, a Tyurt.
Advertise your favourite website while camping on a suitably idyllic greenfield site, and when you’ve sobered up, hey presto! Stick your head through the top and move on.
An, If you will, T-shyurt.
Oh, suit yourselves.
I’m pretty positive @rob-c would shell out for some Magick undercrackers and I would seriously like an artfully logoed up cape and top hat ensemble.
Am I the only one who had long forgotten this thread, clicked, laughed, reminisced, then was spooked at Mr Blast’s appearance. Twas only then I checked the date and realised it was an old ‘un. Anyway, was nice to be reminded of JB out of the blue.
The thing that upsets me is that this thread is three and a half years old. Seems like yesterday…
Why is that upsetting? Time is an ever-flowing stream, when it’s not taking liberties with itself en route to the floor.
Hold your mad hands!
Still a medium with a full lustrous mane btw Tiggs 😉
B*st*rd!!!
Medium is it?
Fatso.
I did do a ‘Living the Deram’ bit of artwork. Must be on another thread.
Do people that start three-year-old threads qualify for a hamper?
Yes – vintage products only. Port, cheddar, any hope for humanity.
Great news! I could do with some hope.