As His Royal Highness The Prince Andrew Albert Christian Edward, Duke of York, Earl of Inverness, Baron Killyleagh, Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight Grand Cross of the Royal Victorian Order, Personal Aide-de-Camp to The Queen said:
“I didn’t sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenaline in the Falklands War when I was shot at and I simply…it was almost impossible for me to sweat.”
Surely the French had the right idea; cut their heads off in a public spectacle and make a tourist attraction out of the location? Is anyone able to justify this bunch of parasitic areseholes to me?
Curious that he said the flaw in the accuser’s story was ‘I had a medical condition which prevented me from sweating at the time’ and not ‘I don’t make a habit of having sex with teenage girls whose presence at my convicted paedophile friend’s place (it looks like upstairs, but I never went there) is unexplained.’
Bet he’s sweating like a dinner lady this morning though.
Herself* – the Head Buck Cat, QE2 – is the only thing keeping this leaky boat afloat. When the Queen expires, the rest should shamefacedly pack their tents and get the fuck outta Dodge.
*It’s only the women in that family that I can tolerate. The Queen says nowt even if she must have felt like booting several prime ministers in the fork. The Duchess of Cornwall would drink us all under the table, the distinctly misanthropic but principled (to me) Princess Royal didn’t seek titles for her kids, the Duchess of Cambridge is of solid, bourgeois, hard working stock and appears to be in possession of a soul (the fact she’s a patron of – Jesus Christ – hospices for children reflects well).
There must be records of his movements held by the Royal Protection department surely?
Our wisely cautious admins might care to note the the post’s original title still appears in the tags.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer, is Andy. As he can’t sweat, he shouldn’t be travelling to all those hot places like Phuket, Dubai, and Rio, and definitely not standing out on those tropical golf courses in the sun. With Ma’am approaching her century, disappointing Chaz the next incumbent, and this, I dare say once Brexit and the election are over, there is going to be a big national row about quite why we keep them.
It is said it took months to set this up, so he must have been well prepared. I suspect speaking to an intelligent woman who refused to show him deference was a first for him.
Not the sharpest knife in the drawer because he is constantly putting himself at serious risk of heat stroke etc. or because is so … easy to disbelieve?
Andy’s thick as shit in a bottle and making a “dog ate homework” excuse that collapses when faced with scrutiny. In my opinion. Allegedly.
Prize winner
“Is anyone able to justify this bunch of parasitic areseholes to me?”
Mr Hump
I’m struggling to tell from the opening post wether you are a royalist or not?
Hump News: Fair & Balanced
Appalling acting and implausible storylines.
Since it’s move to BBC, The Crown has nosedived. Such a shame.
But they bring in loads more tourist £’s than they cost! Thats’s the pro-Royal argument. I have never seen any hard figures to back this up though !
Wouldn’t the nation still have the palaces and the Tower of London, even without the royal family?
Yep…. and it might be argued that more royal buildings would be available to bring in the tourists if we got shot of the actual royals. (I’ve no idea who actually owns what though)
I know there are lots of people that ‘like’ the royals but I would pull all their funding and if money starts to run low they could always start a Kickstarter to see quite how many people are actually happy to pay for them.
We would indeed but they would all be turned into Wetherspoons
France, Versailles, tourists aplenty, royaume famille zero.
I’ve never understood the logic of this argument either, Razor. Stratford still manages to pull in the tourists, despite no new material from Shakespeare for the best part of 500 years. And Versailles attracts plenty of visitors even though its occupants got the chop in the 1790s. Would the absence of live-in royals really affect visitor numbers to Buck House and Sandringham that much?
It’s created a new job interview strategy though:
Q: What would you say is your greatest weakness?
A: You know, I think it might be that I’m too honourable.
I don’t buy that he can’t remember having sex with a 17-year-old girl. I had sex with a 17-year-old girl 36 years ago and I still remember it
I do. Perhaps he had sex with so many 17 year old girls, he can’t remember one from another.
That’s the only explanation
Not necessarily. He could have been off his tits on cocaine at the time.
That defend doesn’t hold up: having sex on cocaine does not cause memory loss…. so I’m told.
Also, if he thought all those young women in Epstein’s house were staff, who happened to be willing to have sex with him, what does he get up to in Bucks House?
Perhaps Old Scrotum is not disposed to tumbles with royalty.
You’re misinformed. It all depends on for how long you’ve been continuously off your tits on cocaine.
That defence doesn’t hold up though. Having sex on cocaine does not cause memory loss.
You’re misinformed, oh, er, I mean, um………
Does it make you go blind?
I tbink we are expecting more rain by Wednesday teatime.
The UK needs to change.
A Lib Dem led government and axing the House of Lords would be a start.
Binning the Monarchy might take longer but gets my vote
PR is critical for me. Everyone’s vote counting would be a great way forward.
I’m all for binning them off too but there are many that love them and all they stand for, even though they ( and their coterie of hangers on) have been taking the piss out of us all for decades and decades. For example, WTF has Prince “I’m a Royal Knockout” Edward done to deserve all the handouts from Mummy ( indirectly from all us taxpayers) ? What does he contribute to the country
So he goes to his mates Eppers house with the sole intention of telling him he couldn’t be mates with him anymore. He stops there for several days because it was convenient.
Fucking plausible that innit?
I’m staunchly anti-monarchy. I think the outdated concept is at best an embarrassment, at worst an obscenity. But even the staunchest anti-monarchist must admit that the Queen herself has done an amazing job as Head of State. 67 years without any personal scandal, but only infallible dignity. It’s a stunning achievement, not to be dismissed lightly. I think the nation would be foolish not to want her to continue in the role. However, when she eventually goes it should definitely be time to consider change.
It may not be entirely her fault but she’s failed to produce a worthy successor so perhaps she should have spent some time in the past 30 years trying to change the system.
And no scandals because for the entirety of her life the press has fawned and doffed instead of you know, honestly reporting and investigating – the stuff we were told about at journalism college
Thing is, lots of the progressive and modern nations (mostly Scandi, admittedly, and the Dutch) manage perfectly fine with a monarchy. The main issue with ours is how it fits with the rest of the mess that is our constitution. The Lords is part of that. I don’t even think the Lords in principle is a terrible thing. A chamber that doesn’t rely on demeaning itself having to chase a vote the way the general elections end up being is useful, though in an ideal world I’d love to see people selected to do it by ballot, or the appointment process be taken out of the hands of the executive and made entirely transparent.
It’s tempting to think a republic would be better, but then what kind of president would we have? Executive? In which case look over the pond, or who is is currently in number 10 and consider how much real power you’d want them to wield as a head of state. What about the process to elect them? What an horrific bunfight that would turn out to be. We always have to try to imagine the worst that could happen, because at some point it probably would.
Or they could be ceremonial. In which case, why not just strip away some of the monarchy’s powers and leave them to the same job? It’s hard to quantify value or return, but they are a source of soft power for the UK overseas.
That said, there s a lot of baggage in the extended family, Prince Thicky McThickPants and his vapid children included, that could be pruned away quite happily.
I will dismiss it lightly. She has brought up an incredibly dysfunctional family (probably not too involved in that though), has never made a public statement of any worth, and at times (e.g. death of Diana) shown a completely clueless, out of touch approach towards her “subjects”. She’s still alive in her 90s, that’s her only tangible achievement.
That doesn’t seems so bad in 67 years of service. I only worked at my last job for a few weeks and I was much more crap than that.
Her lack of public statements I would shove in the “pros” list.
It amazes me that in 67 years she’s never so much as farted loudly in public or been caught picking her nose or thrown up all over the Belgian ambassador. I managed two of those three just this morning.
I think, as Heads of State go, she’s done fine.
Quite so. Might as well be a cardboard cut out. A non-entity. Not you her, I mean. They talk about how amazing it is how she has been alive through so many historic events and met all those prime ministers who have come and gone but there’s nothing to show for it. Her secrets will die with her. All that fascinating small talk we will never hear. She looks miserable except when at the gee-gees.
I guess it’s better to have the monarch than not though. I vote for a scaled-down more basic version. Like the Scandinavian ones. Some reform such as she has no ‘subjects’. No bowing or curtseying. No honours or knighthoods. That kind of thing.
Sorry, G but you is Wrong. Her Mum was a bigoted racist drunkard who would have been quite happy if Hitler had won the war. She achieved “what a wonderful woman” status by lasting till she was one hundred and eighty four. The Queen is well down the same path. “Look , she can stand and shake hands and everything”. And of course her greatest crime was not to knee Rees-Mogg in the balls when he so rudely interrupted her summer holidays in Balmoral recently.
Saying all that, these days now having reached a certain dignified maturity I have no real objection to us keeping a core of Royals around. I would suggest a maximum of ten, all the rest to be run through the streets naked and pelted with rotten fruit before they are sent off to eke out a living in Southern Italy.
Apparently the bowing and scraping is now officially not required. Having said that, it beggars belief that when the overeducated simpleton takes over, there will be people in the country actually looking up to him.
I like this idea of the press going for someone who’s clearly lying through his teeth, cos there’s another chap who lives round the corner from the Palace who does that every time he opens his mouth. Maybe they’ll go for him next?
Actually, on that subject, anyone else reckon that there’s a ‘tell all’ interview from Jennifer Arcuri coming soon? The royals will be hoping it’s tomorrow!
Shouldn’t really comment as an outsider, but it does seem obvious from this far away that if you could make the Royals disappear in a puff of smoke tomorrow the inevitable consequence would be President Johnson in ten years’ time.
Seems to me your safest bet is to fund the head of state and spouse and tell the rest to earn a living..
I agree. Brenda and Phil; fair do’s. The rest? Get a job.
Even them. You don’t keep power like that without quality Machiavellianism. Huge amounts of unpleasantness and infelicity are buried by persons who should be sharing it. If we must have a symbolic head to avoid President Corbyn for life, make it a random British family for 10 years. Could be The Royle family, could be Terry and June, could be those nice people who run the corner shop. Every 10 years, we become vicariously involved with a bunch of strangers who represent some aspect of our nation. Not the ghastly aristocracy.
Interesting reading this as s3 of the Crown starts. I think the benign view of 67 years unsullied takes a bit of a kick, whether the series is truth or fantasy. Hard and calculating seems closer. Hence the hopeless parenting.
I have absolutely no time for the monarchy and the royal family, mostly because of the class system which it underpins. However, this is about the only thing Mrs. T and I violently disagree about – for some reason she will forgive them virtually anything. They all do a wonderful job….apparently. Go figure….
Should Andrew take a step back from public life, one thing concerns me. Given his role as a “Trade Ambassador”, how will we manage without his lifelong experience of commerce, industry and negotiation in the post-brexit winter which is approaching rapidly?
Don’t say I didn’t warn you…..
I appreciate your deeply felt tongue in cheek concern.
Having worked extensively in an advisory capacity to government business agencies ‘patronised’ by Mr R. Andy, I can assure you those same agencies would not miss his expertise.
I grew up in Woking and the locals are giddy about being on the map all of a sudden. The last time I saw scenes like this was when Town Called Malice was number one.
Coincidentally Woking was attacked by aliens last night, which I suspect is a desperate attempt at a cover up….
Famously, the Spielberg movie removes all reference to Woking following a scuffle with Paul Weller in the green room when the two of them were on the Russell Harty show in the late 70s.
I liked The Royal Family. My favourites were The Fabulous Wealthy Tarts.
Cue Pino Palladino impression. Over to you, Moosey!
Pino Palladino “The Prince of Wales”
…..and the Grand Duchy of Boooodowwww
Even though it was some years’ ago, I can’t imagine it’d be too tricky to find out if ol’ Airmiles really was at Pizza Express. If it was a party, surely someone took some pics/recalls him being there?
The interview was just bizarre: I really thought that sort of Q+A could never happen these days. Even dull pop stars, whose idea of Dionysian debauchery extends about as far as choosing the non-vegan option, have PRs. managers, etc. sitting in with them in interviews.
He made a massive arse of himself; it might be a case of posting him to the Bahamas to enjoy his later years.
Lenny Law has seen fit to mention the Portsmouth perception of the Prince:
Try https://twitter.com/lennylaw/status/1196202722908921856
Andrew was not the Royal that Private Eye reported as being called Dockyard Doris…
Q: What do you get if you cross Prince Andrew and Bill Clinton?
A: Murdered in your prison cell
If you were surprised when you heard Jeffrey Epstein commited suicide, imagine how surprised he must have been.
What does Prince Andrew have in common with Manchester United and the Black Eyed Peas?
They all got worse after Fergie left.
Gallivanting, they used to call it. What young princes have done since the dawn of time. Let’s cut the lad a bit of slack.
Says nobody..
OK, so you have to get the intonation right but, if this crock of shite (born 1960 … don’t laugh) had paid me to be his PR, the first thing I’d have told him to do would have been …
“Lean closer towards Emily just before she asks her first question and say … “Emily, before we start this interview, may I just say how devastated I am about what happened to these women, some obviously very young, and that my heart goes out to them.”
“Got that, crock of shite?”
Why would we laugh at his year of birth? #confused