So, after years of smiling politely and nodding my head like an idiot in pubs when I didn’t have a bloody clue what someone had told me (apologies if you are one of those people) and exasperated looks when people say ‘Seriously…you can’t hear that car alarm?!’ I went for a free hearing test at Boots in February this year.
I’d thought I’d done quite well in my ‘Mr and Mrs’ style booth, pressing the button every time I heard a tone. I came out to a look of slight concern on the face of the woman who’d run the test. ‘I think we need to book you in for a more thorough assessment’. These initial results showed moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears which was a bit of a shock as I’d presumed that it wouldn’t be quite so bad. A further test 3 weeks later confirmed the initial results and the audiologist gave me an expensive hearing aid to try out. The improvement was impressive, the aural equivalent of switching from black & white to colour. The downside? I’d need to spend around £2000 to get my hands on a pair. He told me that the NHS models weren’t so good and they’d only give me one, which wouldn’t help me much. But I like to get a second opinion about my options and hate spending money unless I have to…so I went to the NHS.
A visit to the GP, a referral to the Ear, Nose and Throat clinic and from there a visit to the Audiology Dept this morning. Due to the nature of my job (lots of different environments) I’ve been given two hearing aids, a load of free batteries and a card to pick up more when I need them (thank you NHS) and am now 6 hours into this new soundscape.
I grew up with a Mum who was born profoundly deaf so wearing a hearing aid hasn’t been a particularly emotional challenge – but it surprised me that I did have a little wobble when I first learned how bad things were. I told myself I was being ridiculous, that no-one gets upset if they have a prescription for glasses and after that I was on an even keel again.
Walking back from the hospital through the Botanical Gardens in Sheffield almost made me sit on a bench and weep. The symphony of bird song I could hear was so beautiful. Later on my walk I heard those noises that bin lorries make when they reverse, even when I couldn’t see them. I heard the pavement scuffing noises from the shoes of the man walking ahead of me. And when I got home I put on Ryley Walker’s ‘Primrose Green’ LP and heard all sorts of jangly chimes that had hitherto been hidden from me. It feels like I’ve got a Foley artist installed behind my eyes to be my bespoke sound editor. At the moment there’s a slight tinny quality to my own voice but I should soon get used to that.
Why am I writing this? I suppose it’s in case anyone else out there thinks that they’re missing a lot of what people are saying, are always putting the subtitles on or are just feeling that something’s not quite right. Don’t be frightened, go and get a hearing test and see if hearing aids can help you. I wish I’d done it earlier – there are a lot of nights out, films and conversations I’d have enjoyed so much more. I’m really looking forward to my new lease of life.
Fantastic news. I’m assuming you chose the ‘Moz’ model? 🙂
I’m mostly deaf in one ear this week, until I see the big scary nurse on Thursday, and I can tell you that the last few days have been quite bewildering. I’m so glad you took the plunge and had a test – enjoy your ‘new’ record collection!
I started wearing glasses recently. I knew I needed them a few years ago but just never got round to getting them. Then, after a car crash last summer I finally decided to. Wow! Like going from normal telly to high definition 3D! I can’t believe this is how everyone else has been seeing the world all this time! I can see all the cracks in the pavement. All the shop signs on the other side of the road. All my wrinkles in the mirror. It’s a total trip!
Bravo! Good for you.
A great post.
Delighted for you my friend. Sadly you’ll now be able to hear us slagging you off for having a slightly tinny quality…
There’s always a downside to everything …
Get yourself the new Paul Simon album to celebrate – a feast for the lug ‘oles.
Good on you. I hope whichever design you opt for is right for you.
I was born with high-tone deafness and throughout my childhood and intermittently in later life I have worn/tried/owned every type going from flesh coloured horn with strategically styled hair to all singing all dancing canal hobbies. Each with varying degrees of success.
The most striking aural revelation, I have found, is just how much shit people talk. But the saving grace is re-discovering your love of music. It’s worth it for that alone.
Good luck.
‘jobbies’ ffs
Moose where are you FFS, it’s all kicking off here – someone calling himself ‘Wad’ further down has just dropped the ‘Penistone’ bomb but your first priority is get up here to coordinates ‘Attackdog 18:10, para 2’ – it’s hell in there. On NO account let your wife or servants read that post.
“Flesh coloured horn”.
HUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRR!!
Well thank goodness that the Afterword is an Equal Opportunities Blog and that a girl has been able to step in and do a man’s job.
Er, I’ve just re-read my post, above, and winced. Apologies, @minibreakfast .
Hope you got on ok at the big scary nurse yesterday, and that your hearing’s back to normal.
*cups ear*
Whut?
I said HOW DID YOU GET ON THAT BIG HAIRY HORSE YESTERDAY??? HORSE!! *mimes horse, feels foolish*. No, HORSE!!
Oh it doesn’t matt- I SAID IT DOESN’T MATTER.
She can’t hear me, can she, bless her? Look, she’s wandering off now, still hasn’t got a clue what I said. Seems happy in herself though.
Eh?
EIGHT O’CLOCK!
Great post.
It must have been a bit of a shock to find your hearing had got so bad but once over that psychological barrier, you’re going to find things are so much better.
I’ve got two pretty top notch state of the art aids courtesy of the good old NHS as a result of mild to moderate hearing loss that has left me with permanent tinnitus. The aids help a lot as they amplify the high frequencies that the brain is trying to replace with phantom sound and so keep the worst of it at bay. The aids are very discreet (unless I get a shorter haircut than I intend) and few people comment or if they do it’s surprise that I wear them. Funnily enough, I’ve been on holiday the last couple of weeks in Greece and not been wearing them and the GLW has remarked how I’m saying pardon a whole lot more.
Two good side effects:
1. The possession of an NHS battery book entitles you to a Disabled Railcard (£50 for three years) and easily pays for itself and you can even use it for whoever accompanies you on the trip (presumably to relay to you what the train announcer has just said) .
2. I also got me one of these: http://www.oticon.global/solutions/accessories/connectline/
Sadly not on the NHS (£130) but it means you can stream stuff direct from your phone into your hearing aid and listen without anybody knowing!
Not all bad eh?
I had no idea about those 2 benefits. Thank you, will investigate at once!
Well, fan my brow! I attended the very same department last Thursday and got my first hearing aid, batteries and the address for the nearest surgery to get the batteries replaced (nothing in Penistone, so the nearest is Stocksbridge).
Mine is mainly to try to decrease my tinnitus, which is predominently in my right ear, although I do have some deafness in that ear associated with it. For example, if I lay on my left side I won’t hear a word anyone is saying. I’ve had the tinnitus since I had an operation to remove a tumour the size of a broad been from the middle of my spinal cord in the C4-C5 (neck) area. As they cut through the spinal cord it has left me with all sorts of problems, one of which was the tinnitus.
I have been ignoring the tinnitus, as much as I can, but for the past 12 months or so my symptoms (loss of feeling below neck, pain, poor balance, losing power in limbs, etc) have worsened, including my tinnitus. The tinnitus has always been in my right ear, but I have noticed it in both on occasion. It gets worse if I am unwell or tired. A few friends have recommended hearing aids, as it has helped them with their tinnitus, so I thought I’d take the plunge.
Since I got my hearing aid it has pretty much cut out most of the tinnitus in my right ear…but it is now louder than ever in my left ear! I have to go and see the physio at the Northern General on Thursday morning, so I am going to try to get up to the walk-in clinic at the Hallamshire afterwards, to ask for the second hearing aid the nice lady said I may need. I am really hoping that the second one will cut the tinnitus out altogether. I would love to hear silence for the first time in 13 years. We moved from London to the countryside back home in Yorkshire 8 years ago, so it would be great if my ears can benefit from it too!
I’m too skint/mean to pay for an expensive hearing aid, so I was pleasantly surprised to see how small the NHS ones are nowadays. As I can’t feel my fingers I have a little trouble getting it in, but I can tell when it is in by scratching my head. If it sounds like I am shaking a bag of crisps right next to my ear it’s in! I’m having a few problems with itchiness inside my ear and the top of my ear is getting a little sore from having the battery part stuck behind it, but I guess it will settle down as I get more used to it.
As I mentioned, I have a lot of symptoms and I have been in chronic pain since January 2002. I haven’t been able to feel much below my neck since 2003 and I feel tired at the slightest exertion. But I have always said that if I could get rid of one of my symptoms for half an hour it would be the tinnitus. I can relieve my pain with medication (I am on so many tablets these days that they more or less form part of my diet), but there’s nothing that can take the constant noises away. The best I can hope for is that I get so distracted by doing something that I forget about it. But knowing my luck the second hearing aid will get rid of it in my left ear too, but I’ll start hearing it through my nose!
Thanks for sharing that Paul and I’m sorry to hear about the symptoms and various issues that you have. I’ve already noticed a reduction in my tinnitus since popping them in, not that mine was at the same level of yours; it was more of a slight irritation than a ‘driving me to distraction’ cacophony. I hope that a second one does the job for you and gives you some respite.
Tinnitus through the nose? TMFTL!
I should also have apologised for hijacking your thread somewhat, but some of the tablets I take are opiate based and they make me go on, a bit like Spud at his job interview in Trainspotting. The wife has long since stopped listening to me, so I tend to go on a bit when I start writing too!
Tinnitus through the nose is actually a great description of that awful pop factor stuff that my 10 year old daughter listens to!
No apology needed Paul. It was interesting to read about your experiences; I wonder if the nice lady at the audiology clinic was the same nice lady I had. She was so patient and explained things very clearly.
Let us know if you get that 2nd aid and if it helps with the tinnitus.
All the best.
Sounds like the same one. She had two hearing aids in herself, so it was very reassuring that she could empathise with me, having similar hearing problems to Me. However, had my neurosurgeon 13 years ago told me that he had undergone similar surgery to me I wouldn’t have been as reassured. If someone is operating for 8 hours on your spinal cord, where a slight slip could leave you totally dependent, you sort of need him to be able to feel his fingers and to be able to stand for more than 10 minutes without starting to lose his balance!
Well, i dragged myself from one hospital to the other, took my ticket for the queue, as told to do so (to be fair, they really rattled through the queue so I wasn’t waiting long), only to be told they don’t have funding to give two hearing aids to one person. When I questioned this she went and asked her supervisor, who told her she was talking nonsense. However, they couldn’t give me the second one at the walk-in clinic, so will be sending me another appointment to come back for the fitting.
As I sit here writing this I realise I have left my hearing aid upstairs, but it’s very noticeable that the tinnitus is almost entirely in my left ear, even with it out, which is interesting. Does this mean that a week or so with two in I might be able to get shut of it altogether? Are your ears tricked that easily??
If it’s not too crass and clumsy and / or patronising, Paul, I’d just like to say that I’m awed by your resilience and phlegmaticness (no, I’m not not going to say that I’m awed by your phlegm), and I have huge respect for you. What an inspirational post. Thankyou.
Ah, I thought that phlegmaticness was referring to my asthma, which I’m also blessed with.
I’ve made it sound like I’m on death’s door, which I do feel like sometimes, but isn’t really the case. Apart from the bags under my eyes from the sleeping problems and the ruddy great scar down the back of my head/neck, you wouldn’t necessarily think there was anything wrong with me by looking at me, which can often be a pain (like when you’re on a bus and really need a seat more than the elderly lady who is giving you daggers!). However, if you keep looking you’ll probably see me struggle to get up, lose my balance, drop something or grimace slightly more than you’d expect someone to do when having to walk up a couple of steps.
I haven’t been able to work for almost a year (I’m a paediatric/A&E nurse by training, although have worked in corporate health/risk insurance for the past 14 years) as the pain, symptoms and side effects of the meds have seen to that, but my Specialists (I have several) are just surprised that I managed to work as long as I did. I feel tired pretty much all the time (not helped by the meds affecting my sleep pattern – it’s 3:34am right now) and have very little stamina. But because what I had was so rare, it’s usually difficult to explain to people why I struggle with certain things. My brother in law has MS and our symptoms are very similar to a point (I am affected in many more ways than him, but his bad spells are worse and his condition is likely to deteriorate quicker), but as his condition is more well known it is easier for people to understand his limitations than they do mine.
Just about every bit of my body is affected in some way, either as a result of the tumour/surgery or a side effect of the meds. In fact, I think my liver is the only thing I’ve not had problems with, despite my best efforts to damage that in my 20s and 30s. I’m missing the back of 3 or 4 vertebrae in my neck, for example, which leaves the remaining bone unstable and whats left of my spinal cord pretty exposed (I have the spinal cord of someone almost twice my age), so just lying or sitting in an awkward position can leave me in a load of pain and unable to use my arms/legs.
I’ve also become really accident prone, as you would when you can’t really feel your hands/feet and can’t tell the difference between hot and cold. I’m currently nursing a broken toe from walking into a chest of drawers and frequently cut myself, not realising until I see the blood. I suppose my best one was when I pulled my big toenail out in one clean go, by getting it caught inbetween the pedal and the mudguard of one of those big four seater bikes in Spain. I felt that! I also felt the pain when the Spanish doctor poured neat iodine on to the nail bed, having let me know he was about to do this in Spanish, which I don’t speak. then again, so did the doctor when my leg shot up and booted him!
But I’ve just got my first hearing aid, my mum gave me my first walking stick at the weekend, I’m putting off going to the opticians, as I will certainly be given my first pair of glasses, and I have had to get one of those little plastic compartment box thingies for my tablets, cos I take so many of them and have a load of trouble with my short term memory. Yet I have spent the past 6 months indulging in a new found love of rap/hip hop, so there’s still a bit of life left in me!
Applauds. Wonderful to read such a chipper post when most of us would crumble in your shoes. I laughed out loud (having first winced) at the tale of the nail and the Spanish quack. A delightful French female doctor once did a similar thing to me, involving several square feet of gravel rash and a bottle of medicinal alcohol. All power to your endurance, Paul.
What happened with the bike was, we had ridden it back down to our hotel where I had suggested going and changing from my sandals to my trainers, but the wife said not to bother.
So I was sat on it steering it, my daughter was on the back seat (she was only little at the time) and my wife was pushing it backwards, as we were turning right. As she pushed I felt a great sudden pain in my foot and looked down to see my left foot was getting squashed in between the pedal and mud guard. So Jules pulled it back and my foot was released.
If I can’t see my feet I don’t know where they are, so she told me to keep an eye on it as we tried reversing the bike again. But, in keeping my eye on my left foot I took my eye off my right foot…
This time she pushed a little firmer and my big toenail got pulled clean out. We wrapped my toe up as best we can with what we had to hand, i.e. A shower cap was taped around my toe and the makeshift dressing. We then had to get the bike back uphill to the doctors.
As we were halfway up the hill the pain got really bad and I took my foot off the pedal momentarily. I said to Jules to carry on pedalling, as starting again on the hill would be really difficult, and I joined back in a few seconds later. However, as I took my foot off the pedal and shouted to keep going we passed a family who all laughed at how lazy I was being, letting my poor wife do all the work!
We then had the goings on trying to umderstand what the Spanish doctor was saying.
Fortunately, it was at the end of the holiday, so didn’t impact it much. Funnily enough, we were in exactly the same resort we had been in only 9 months earlier and the previous time we had been there I had broken a toe (a particular speciality of mine!) so we decided not to go there again, because the next natural progression would have been the loss of a foot.
I can recommend some good industrial boots.
I’ve had tinnitus since 1990, gets worse bit by bit, day by day, but because of the aural nature of it, a hearing aid won’t do it for me.. apparently Meniere’s Syndrome is all about tones and hearing ranges stuff…. some people I can hear OK, some sounds are a mystery to me. But hey, Bananarama still sound shit to me, so it can’t be THAT bad.
That explains why you have invited me onto your Charity Shop Classics show in the past. You could not hear what the hell I was playing. You dirty rotten swine.
It’s true. I’m afraid your guest spot days are over old Bean(y)
Fantastic post WholeHogg, I’m delighted for you. How amazing to get effectively 1/5th of your senses back at the flick of a switch.
PS I can just picture the scene in Boots back in February:
Audiologist: “…and so I’m sorry to have to tell you that it’s going to cost £2000, Mr WholeHogg”</i.
WholeHogg: “Howwwww muuuuch!!!???”
Audiologist: “Oh ker-ching! I, er, said IT’S GOING TO COSTTHREE… THOUSAND… POUNDS…“
I’ve had hearing aids for maybe 10 years now. “Classic industrial deafness” the audiologist said. I’ve spent most of my life playing music, sometimes loud, but not THAT loud FFS.
The funny thing was, I got my hearing tested because my wife said I never listened to what she said. I accused her of mumbling and so on. Anyway after I’d done the test the audiologist came into the room chuckling with laughter – my hearing loss is exactly in the frequency range of women’s voices.
Can I ask, how does it work for gigs?
I have some earplugs which I bought for (and needed) for My Bloody Valentine Gigs but I’ve started carrying them with me just in case – there have been one or two occasions where I’ve seen a band and thought they didn’t justify the damage I felt they were doing, or the sound mix was stupidly harsh and popped them in.
I don’t wear them at gigs. I turn them off. Then, when I want to talk to someone at interval, I turn them on.
Larvely piece.
My Dad sometimes wears them for Skype.
Me: “You haven’t got your ear-trumpets in.”
Dad: “What?” (continues)
A variation on a theme recently. He was wearing his new (and very successful) titanium-framed reading glasses.
Dad (grumpily, poking at glasses): “I’m taking these glasses back to the opticians, get them fixed. They’ve never been any good.”
Me (surprised): “I thought you liked them?”
Dad: “Nah. They don’t fit. Make me look like Eric Morecambe.”
Me (lightbulb going on): “That’s your other pair. Your bifocals.”
Dad (taking off reading glases, peering at them): “I am a daft old git.”
Arf. bless.
When it gets to higher frequency the line drops off a cliff.
I’ve always had a concern about the quality of sound through Hearing aids.
One wonders about bothering with a high end stereo if the final component is a hearing aid.
That’s definitely an issue. I generally turn them off to listen to music.
There are so many things posted above I can identify with. I was issued an NHS hearing aid – on my birthday no less – last year, after about 10 years of progressive hearing loss in my right ear, tinnitus, dizziness, loss of balance and occasional bouts of throwing up. The tinnitus finally drove me to the doctors and I was diagnosed as significantly mutton in one ear.
I can identify absolutely with the OP reaction to first wearing the aid, despite it being for just one ear for me. Birdsong, footsteps, road traffic, my own voice were suddenly audible again in a way that I hadn’t realised I’d lost. I had mixed feelings about wearing the aid – unlike my glasses, greying hair and expanding waistline this was just too much of a symbol of my old age. My father had needed aids in both ears from his late 60’s and it was a running joke in our family about the Hendrixesque feedback that would be arise on the rare occasions he could be induced to wear them, despite how much he missed out on without them, and the hair parting volume he had to have the TV at. I decided I just had to get on and wear it, and I’m glad I did.
Six months on I’m finding the aid pretty indispensable but far from perfect. Feedback is frequent but seemingly randomly provoked. What I hear is now more equally distributed from left to right, but the quality to the right ear very thin, lacking depth and bass. It’s proving hard to listen to music at any volume as the aid seems easily overwhelmed – I’m wondering if I should just do as Mousey does and take it out (mine has no “off” switch – you have to remove the battery). Listening without the aid through headphones is good, but lopsided. I’m looking at finding a way of adjusting the volume to each ear to see if that helps. Re Junior’s post above it’s left me thinking there’s no point in chasing hi-fi sound with lo-fi ears.
I could afford an expensive private aid, but I’m wondering if I would see any improvement in sound quality. I can’t tell if it’s the aid inhibiting what I hear or my duff hearing. I do find that in restaurants, bars, busy meetings etc that I still miss a lot of what is said – I don’t seem to get much delineation between things like speech and background noise. I’m a bit unsure about going for a test as they are bound to tell me I’ll see an improvement. Maybe they will have a way I can test drive something.
Excellent tip about the railcard. Really enjoyed reading all the posts so far.
Thanks Fortune, it was really interesting to read about your experiences and I agree about the thinness of the sound. I’m hoping over time that my brain adjusts and fills it out a bit – but you’ve had yours for a while now and it’s still lacking the depth of sound you’d like so maybe that doesn’t happen.
I’ve not had a chance to listen to much music on my stereo yet but have definitely noticed that I can hear the trebly stuff again – but the mix is wrong. I need an inner Mark E Smith, a ‘numbskulls’ version, to twiddle with the knobs on the amps till the balance is right. Or, I could just turn down the volume on my aids.
I’d be very wary of the “better” private ones as they are usually better only for the salespersons bonus. (But that one for Brian Johnson included here a few days back sounds fascinating*.)It’s true the aids from ENT clinics in hospitals may well have been only a small village of the art, rather than the whole state, but now Specsavers and the whole of the rest of the High Street can apply to be “qualified providers” for the NHS, they are hoovering up custom and issuing a much better quality, at NHS free at the point of delivery prices. (Of course, being the bien-pensant pinko I am, I struggle with this as a solution to NHS waiting lists as the companies know all the tricks to be making a fat profit thereby, further bankrupting the service down the line, even if hay in the suntime for consumers right now.)
Of course my curmudgeonliness is tempered by the fact I have sensory inattention: I can hear, apparently, just can’t process it in a mixed noise. Think of it as clumsy ears that can only deal with one noise at a time or I drop ’em all…….
Funny how a site nominally based around music lovers should have so many mutts and jeffs. I SAID FUNNY HOW…….
Nowt to do with being a youth at the front of Hammy Odeon, enjoying the buzz. You know, the buzz after the concert that lasts for a day or two and you think nothing of, comparing it to, say, the joy of the day after hangover, both gleefully compared with chums.
Back to AC/DC I feel a better solution for their singer might be to remove his tongue. And if the surgeon gets muddled up and removes Axl’s as well, fair enough, honest and helpful mistake.
Re different environments, when I looked into them the aids had multiple settings – noisy bar/party ,smaller group, one on one ….
That’s what tempts me to investigate a non NHS model, as mine has just 3 settings – louder, quieter or not in my ear.
Irrespective of my rather flippant post above I would urge anyone considering a hearing aid/s to insist on as many A/B comparisons as possible in order that you arrive at the best possible compromise. After all, you would do it with turntable or CD player, would you not?
In terms of how these things improve you hearing compared to how it was before I find impossible to judge. As I mentioned up there I (and my two brothers) were born with the same hearing deficiency which, with age, has got progressively worse.
If I can offer any advice – believe me I really have tried/owned/used a variety of devices – I would place uppermost the ability of the aid to separate background noise from foreground or one-to-one conversation. I believe this is best achieved using an aid in each ear.
Again, good luck and I hope you don’t hear too much more verbal bollocks or shite than you are no doubt already familiar.
The business of sounding tinny might just be the relative levels of airborne sound (which contains treble) to (bassy) bone conduction. You get a similar effect when using a microphone for public address, or leaving yourself an answerphone message.
In my head, I sound like Barry White. On mic, I sound like Michael Caine.
“You’re the first, you’re the last, you’re only supposed to blow the bloody doors off…”
Just a quick update on this post as it’s been a week now since I got my hearing aids (‘Oticon – Spirit Synergy’ – a Tangerine Dream masterpiece just waiting to happen).
Things I’ve been able to do this week which were previously impossible: go through a day without saying ‘pardon’, hear the living room phone from the attic, watch a programme without subtitles & still understand it and follow a 4-way conversation without any effort.
I find that when I first put them in in the morning, everything sounds odd, probably for the reason that Fentonsteve explained above – but after a short period of adjustment, it all becomes normalised.
I am pleased that I took the step and went for that hearing test, instead of struggling on and finding life increasingly frustrating. And, thanks to the tip from @poolhallrichard, I’ll be able to get my disabled railcard now.
All very positive.
If only my father-in-law had had such forward thinking attitude.
He was recently hauled over the coals for being (willfully) lax about wearing his hearing aids for the last five years. According to his audiologist (?) the effort his brain has put into trying to listen without them for much of that time has been very detrimental to his mental capacity in other ways – there is copious circumstantial evidence to support this.
One of his favourite excuses for taking them out / not putting them in is “I can hear myself eating”. To add spice to the mix his hearing loss appears to be very much in the frequency range of his wife’s voice which is, I would say, at the upper end of speech pitch.
On the other hand, the dowager Mrs never “won” a pair of upmarket hearing aids around the same time and has never looked back.