A thread in which we will determine the most good looking band of all time.
No solo artists permitted.
All time periods welcome.
No adjustments made for failure to adhere to contemporary grooming mores.
Can be boys, girls or a mix (tell me about the ladyboys).
Any genre, but at least one band member has to be playing an instrument (to avoid a total boy/girl band whitewash).
No exceptions – all band members must be counted towards the total aggregate handsomeness of the collective (aka “The Coors Clause”).
GO!
Tyrannosaurus Rex.
Second choice: Pookiesnackenburger.
Nobody’s responded. Look at this if you can take it. Specifically it’s the cover of the T. Rex album.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/T._Rex_(album)#/media/File:T._Rex_(Album).jpg
Hotlinking here would be irresponsible here even if it was possible.
Well, original-lineup Suede were pretty peng. Bertie and Bernie obviously dragging up the average, but old Simon Gilbert is a decent looking lad, and Mat Osman has quite the following too.
Peng! PENG! either that’s a spelling mistake or I’m seriously (although not surprisingly) out of touch.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=peng
David Gilmore is mostly cross at Waters for being such a massive uggo and cancelling out Dave’s ridiculous early-20s beauty.
Syd and Dave were both hotties. Then time passed and they grew ugly and a bit dead and Rog out-handsomed them. I’m fearing the same could happen with me and The Afterword.
Rick was a nice looking lad, especially in later life. Huge eyelashes. It’s a wonder he could see the keyboard.
Roger’s got a face like a suicidal giraffe. Always did.
Japan
I’d say Japan too. Sylvian, Karn, Jansen were all hotties. Barbieri let the side down a bit, but not that much.
In fact, now I recollect it, Sylvian was voted or hailed as “World’s Most Beautiful Man” by someone or other at some point or something. Which carries loadsa points, I would have thought? And extra kudos for turning his back on such nonsense. And scoffing. Haughtily. (Probably.)
😂😂😂
Is the correct answer.
Tyrannosaurus Rex are going to be tough to beat.
School of Seven Bells are certainly the most preposterously good looking band I’ve ever seen in the flesh, but their relatively low profile and the – y’know – music probably keeps them lower on the list than they should be.
I’ll say The Bangles. Because it’s them, isn’t it?
Goddammit it’s definitely the Bangles.
You could probably form a new version of the band consisting of you, me and Hoffs and it would still be the Bangles.
Gonna be a short thread.
Hoffs is implausibly beautiful. And not just beautiful. She’s knowing.
*swoons*
She also ages like Keanu.
And me.
She also shares your girlish wiggle.
That’s EXACTLY what a massive waistist would say.
@gary
Can’t believe this didn’t get the response it deserved. Hats off!
Why thankee, Freddy. x
Can you imagine if her and Keanu had kids? They’d cause an instant beauty-induced event horizon which would wipe out life on earth. And if they didn’t, they would on their fiftieth birthdays, because they’d only get hotter.
I like to imagine a world in which the tabloids run countdown timers until the day young Reeves-Hoffs reaches 50. By which point everyone else has been blinded anyway.
If someone’s going to wrap their legs around my throat, drag me to the ground and shoot me in the head I’d rather it be her…
You should tweet her and let her know.
any excuse…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWE0xkCKmSc
Yup – The Bangles
I’m sorry, one Susannah Hoffs does not a gorgeous band make.
C’mon, Michael Steele is gorgeous. Vicki Peterson is gorgeous. And Debbi Peterson is gorgeous…for a drummer. Says oil-painting me.
Got to say Take That, preferably in their older iteration i.e. without Robbie, but with or without (preferably with) Jason (or the one who left, I dunno who that was, was it Jason?)
Hmmm… we’re going to need a ruling on instruments here Ruby.
If not, there’s always Manowar.
Well I was going to say The Bangles but it’s TOO OBVIOUS. 😉
I’m sure one of them can play the recorder.
No wait- Gary plays piano. (I think?)
I think the piano squeezes you in under the wire.
No love for the handsome hunks of East 17?
I was also going to go for Franz Ferdinand and Friendly Fires but the lead singers bring up the average, hence both bands are disqualified under the Corrs Clause.
Oh and Blur…..so, SO close.
OK I’m going for Blur or Take That.
Aha, Blur. A little something for everyone in there.
I think Blur should win- beautiful when younger, grizzled and handsome when older.
25% ginger! Surely an automatic fail?
I’m 100% ginger and my at ruefully agree.
I am a big fan of red-haired men in general (in general ) and although Dave is an all-round good guy he does somewhat drag down the average. But that’s nothing to do with his hair.
Don’t take away my excuse!
‘Red-haired men’, *applies henna.*
Graham Coxon, beautiful? Really?
In the eye of the beholder, I guess.
Skinny indie boy [check], specs [check], cheekbones [check]. OOAA.
I love East 17. Any band which features a man capable of running himself over with his own Range Rover following a Henrician surfeit of baked potatoes is alright by me.
Ah, but is he sexy?
Like most guys who massively overdo the potatoes, he’s absolutely bloody gorgeous.
I can’t, and indeed won’t, disagree…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0mg7ok8dmDU
Fun fact: East 17 were the first band to get their facial hair waxed.
You had to ask, didn’t you? Well, here they are, with instruments.
Amazing. I can’t be the only person surprised at quite how aroused they are by that video.
Potential peng-ness aside, fuck me that’s awful.
Aw, c’mon – he’s wearing leather trews and everthing!
@hubert_rawlinson Try Nice n’ Easy Light Auburn. Might match the fez, even.
An AW top tip @RubyBlue
A better tip would be to find the painter who did the picture in Susannah Hoff’s attic.
@RubyBlue I seem to remember you having a rant a while back about the way middle aged men swoon at the mention of Ms Hoffs.
“Swoons”
Hah, yes I did. And there was some suggestion that I might be jealous of her never-aging beauty, and talent. I mean, as if!
Actually she irritates me mainly for the mugging to camera and Princess-of Hearts-like looking under the eyelashes.
Great band, though.
Ok. In the interests of the viability of this thread, I’m officially excluding The Bangles. They’re clearly the 800 pound gorilla in the room, albeit an 800 pound gorilla with perfect bone structure.
Out they go, exiled to the Mount Olympus of physical appearance.
Who will replace them on the iron throne?
Bananarama!
Alternative Vote: The Go Gos
(I was a teenager in the early 80s – these things remain with you)
The Disappoint Express Band!
Those manly forearms don’t half set a lady’s heart all a flutter
(*swoons dramatically*)
Double Brown Nose points over here!!!
It is still yet to be established whether Bob truly plays his own instrument.
I’ll leave you all with that pleasing image.
Ha! I’m the Guy Garvey of age-inappropriate indie pop.
He hasn’t shown us his organ yet, it’s already established the one in the video was Katy’s nipper’s.
I always thought The Strokes in their prime were at least 3/5ths very handsome. (Although I saw a recent picture of them and they’re now edging closer to the ‘making small children cry’ thread.)
Don’t be shy, Wilson – name names. I’m guessing that Fab, Julian and Nick are in Camp Handsome, with Nikolai being refused entry at the door and poor, dear Albert being soundly beaten by the guards.
100% Mr Little.
Also in with a shout in the 3/5ths very handsome department: Fleetwood Mac.
In fact, the band could have been Stevie Nicks, Mark E Smith and the bloke from Ultrasound and they’d still have belonged on this list.
Up to 3/4 of The Church. Kilbey and Willson-Piper were absurdly beautiful. Kilbey is still annoyingly handsome.
3/4s of Talking Heads circa 1980. Byrne: Crisp white suit, big brown eyes, cool moves, great hair. Jerry Harrison: piercing eyes, wing-mirror cheekbones. Tina Weymouth – for a start it’s a chick with a bass guitar, and furthermore, huurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…………..
Then….. Chris Frantz: Biff from Death of a Salesman. Thankfully made up for it by being one of the greatest drummers on the planet.
@h-p-saucecraft
Yebbut, have you seen Marty recently? Let himself go somewhat in a Nick Cave backing band stylee.
Marty is definitely pie-positive these days, after a brief period when he looked like a biker warrior god.
@h-p-saucecraft
Pie positive…yes!
Anyway, the new album? Only heard the two lead tracks so far, one excellent and one a bit “eh?”
Struggling to locate a hard copy at the mo. Might have to have one shipped from Oz…pfft.
Pie-positive… coincidentally, my blood-type.
A-ha! (As in the band, not as in “I’ve just thought of someone” – although I have just thought of someone and it is A-ha.) As shown on a recent thread, Morten Thingy is probably the only man in the world who looks better at my age than I do. I didn’t look at the other two. Why would anyone?
Oh this. Morten Harket a is fucking SPECIMEN. At one time the most beautiful human being ever to have lived, and he’s not got noticeably uglier with time.
Mags was no slouch either, but Pal looks like Mr Filch the caretaker from Harry Potter.
I just don’t get the Morten love. Well, I do, but I don’t share it. Mags ont he other hand…
On the cusp…
The Stones could probably make both lists
The Pierces! Bloody hellfire they’re gorgeous. I saw them live a few years ago at the Union Chapel and nearly rushed the stage….luckily the surroundings and my desire to not be arrested stopped me.
Getting in touch with my feminine side, could I nominate Curiosity Killed the Cat. Very popular at their peak among my female peers to the extent that Mr. Pepperpot the lead singer wasn’t even Top Three in terms of Hot Band members…
Dare on mention En Vogue?
hurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
But they don’t play nothing, innit? A bit like that there One Direction are a good-looking bunch, albeit slightly more male than En Vogue, but they don’t fit Bingo’s tight-arsed brief, unless you count the Irish one posing with a guitar, which we don’t.
My briefs are tight all over, Gary. You have to give the people what they want.
I think you mean “Dare en mention En Vogue”.
Brett Smiley. Simply lovely.
I don’t know who this is, but he doesn’t sound like a band.
Good point…..David Essex…Oh shit!
Hang on – which one’s the biffer in the Corrs?
Jimothy Corr. Natch.
I was actually referring to Andrea. That fella is a dreamboat.
Abba
They’re not good looking, they’re just Swedish.
You’re too young. You had to be there.
If not thinking Abba are good looking is young, I don’t wanna be – uh – yight.
This lot
Someone has a thing for bassface.
That’s bit harsh… she doesn’t look that much like a fish
Gah! I hoped to get away with bassface
Does Haim (nearly) rhyme with plain? And for Americans, they have terrible teeth.
Once I saw Haim leaning on a lampost on the corner of the street.
The Human League
U2
Sorry but it is probably right.
Or The Runaways
Or Girls Aloud. Tambourine counts, right?
Whaaaa? How does your guide dog do the typing, that’s what I want to know.
Larry & Adam are both dishes, I think we can agree on that at least. They are better than bloomin’ Blur, fuxakes.
On the subject of Larry’s looks, I remember Boy George once said “Whenever Bono sings ‘I still haven’t found what I’m looking for,’ I want to shout ‘Look behind you!”
I’ll give you Ken, but Adam has always looked recently dug up.
Adam looks too much like Deirdre’s Mum on Coronation Street to be taken seriously.
Wouldn’t matter either way as the ginger midget and the bald driving instructor ensure this train can never escape the track to Uglyville..
“The Edge” is short for “The Educational Video About Reversing Round A Corner”.
*sells house, gives D-Bob all equity*
I’m sensing a little push back here. Seems my tastes are a little niche for you lot. Humph.
Adam gets points for looking like a dirty sod, but Larry is a true beauty. And that’s it, really.
None can compare to Albarn in his blue-eyed glory. And Graham and Alex are very pretty in different ways.
ETA I can’t remember Alex’s surname so I just asked: ‘What is Alex Cheese’s surname?’
On the evidence of the Achtung cover, Adam’s got a true beauty.
Heh heh, I had forgotten that. *remembers*
Re: members?
The Afterword: Pretending to be Heterosexual Since 2012
Is it The Motors?
Lloyd Cole and his Commotions causing one themselves, smouldering with their perfect skin, catalogue style, at least in 1984 anyway.
The monochrome images on the cover of Mainstream are gorgeous.
I’d like to nominate Warpaint please.
Yes, you can.
I love Warpaint, they’re ace.
Sex Pistols – best looking band ever.
Katzenjammer of course……..Anne Marit is mine, though
Good call. I do like that big lass with the triangular guitar.
You smooth talking devil, Moose!
Aye, appen. All I need is me “lucky” string vest and I’m irresistible.
The 60s produced some remarkably good looking couples.
Denmark’s Nina and Frederick could have both worked as models
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSScSMY6gLA
And then there was Richard and Mimi Farina (Joan Baez’s even cuter sister) : young talented, good looking and very much in love.
Things ended very tragically for both Frederick and Richard.
Always admired how Frederick “led” with his beard, like some kind of idealised medieval monarch.
Probably one of my first gigs, Nina and Frederick. It was all downhill after that. @Kaisfatdad
Did you brave the mosh-pit, hubes?
Isn’t it about time someone mentioned the Beatles? Whatever the question, they’re usually the answer….
No.
Ringo, whatever his other merits, has a face like Will Self’s ballbag. Lennon was meh. And Ringo is uglier than Paul and George combined are pretty, so no. No no no.
Go and stand in the corner and think about what you’ve just done.
The Hamburg Beatles with Stu and Pete…. yes.
Oh, OK. In which case can I suggest Lone Justice? Frankly I have no idea what the other three herberts look like, but Maria McKee, though…
I’m not sure what part of “stand in the corner” you’re failing to understand….
Oh siiirrrrr……
What about Prince and the Revolution? Prince himself plus Wendy and Lisa with Sheila E and Cat showing up at the live shows.
QUESTION: are either of the ladies who play keyboard in the 1999 video in his permanent band?
Not any more… the brunette was Lisa Coleman. No idea who the under-dressed blonde was.
Jill Jones (Prince Ed.)
If I remember the inner sleeve of the Parade album rightly, the chaps in the Rev weren’t exactly pigs either.
Altered Images? (previous comments re Lone Justice also apply here though)
Bowie and The Spiders. David and Mick were beautiful boys, Woody wasn’t too shabby, and…er…Trevor. We don’t actually know what Trevor looked like under those chops. But Bowie’s pulchritude surely eclipses any lack from the other quarters?
I have to admit that I’m never entirely convinced that David Bowie was actually all that handsome, and particularly not during the Spiders years.
If we’re going for Bowie, my sense is that he peaked in the 80s, which would probably require an argument for the aggregate loveliness of Tin Machine. Dare anyone make that argument?
80s was good, Earthling beardy ginge was a bit rubbish, but then the straight blonde hair for Reality was a brilliant look. Wish I looked like that. With the white guitar and the shabby chic clothesies. And then the long, straight, dark hair of hours… was pretty handsome too.
Oh, c’mon! When the bastard looked this fabulous in a police mugshot what possible hope is there for the rest of us?
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/mugshots/celebrity/music/david-bowie
Oh come on. Look at this poor bastard. I’m so grateful I don’t look like this.
https://ongallery.com/images/stories/virtuemart/product/newtonh_david-bowie.jpg
What a pig!
There’s a difference between ‘handsome’ and ‘beautiful’, and I suggest that younger Bowie from the mod/hippie/Beckenham periods up to the early incarnation of Ziggy was beautiful in a fey, androgynous way…which was precisely why that TOTP appearance had such an impact on so many impressionable boys, surely? The no-brow era, you may have a point; that emaciated alien look wasn’t so attractive.
Like a lucky few others mentioned up and down this thread, Bowie got more handsome as he got older, particularly after he got his teeth fixed. And off the drugs. Can’t say Mick Ronson was ever a picture though…genius yes, but oil painting ?
I’m on a Ronson Facebook page, and it’s always full of photos of him accompanied by swooning comments from the laydeez, so he must have had summat. Didn’t look very alluring whilst pulling the guitar-orgasm gurn, though. The other interesting thing is he’s nearly always exposing his bare torso, so maybe he thought of himself as a bit of an, er, pin-up. The MainMan people certainly presented him as such when they launched his solo career.
And he literally is an oil painting now:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C2Ke51ZWQAAvgRQ.jpg
Um… is a Ronson Facebook page really the right test bed to gauge his looks? You may as well ask his mum, while you’re at it.
So, two blokes on a muso-snob website can judge him to be a munter, but silly girls’ opinions don’t count because they are fans. That makes absolute sense.
Before he was even famous he was a sex-symbol in East Hull.
But, yeah, middle-aged men know these things best.
Indeed he was. Did you get to see Turn And Face The Strange, Moose?
Yes. It was fucking great. Yourself?
I was being facetious, darling. However, if you’d like to infer a heinous agenda to advance the patriarchy please do go right on ahead (although expect hate mail from the Bingo Little Facebook group).
Aren’t you a bit young and “happening”to be using Facebook? Whither Snappychat, Instant Telegram and the like?
I don’t “do” social media, Moose. The fans simply won’t be told though…
Oh tell me about it. Mumsnet won’t leave me alone.
This gets my vote.
The Everly Brothers?
So if I can’t have The Bangles (be still my beating heart), nobody’s mentioned Duran Duran. Probably for good reason. ‘Being pretty’ was their main qualification for being there wasn’t it ? See Pussycat Dolls for the same reason.
I’d still go The Go Go’s as second choice.
As for the OP, did you mean the Corrs, or Coors as in ‘beer goggles’ ? Confusion rains. Reigns. Reynes. Ooh yes, Australian Crawl are apparently quite tasty if you like that sort of thing.
Oh blimey. Yes – the Corrs, quite right.
The Durannies are a great shout. Not sure we can allow the Pussycat Dolls – I’ve a strong suspicion that those ladies were instrument-free.
Ok, let’s go for contentious…. The Monkees…
Of course, I needed to know what Australian Crawl looked like…
Certainly not a gaggle of uggs.
A catchy song. But what are Aussies doing in a sauna? Talk about coals to Newcastle!
Roxy Music in 1972, when Eno had hair. Phil is a problem, but most drummers are, except for Clem Burke. Oh. Oh. Blondie! Blondie!!!
Oh god. Jimmy Destri. A rock’n’roll Keanu.
I know this sounds a bit far-fetched, but Jimmy Destri actually came round to my house when I was living in Prospect Heights in Brooklyn. He was looking for a place to rent and just turned up with his girlfriend and young child, with 15 minutes notice from the landlord. I pretended not to know who he was, but his girlfriend was all “You know who this is, don’t you”, and I did. I’d just had enough time to get my home studio in order before he arrived, and he was very complimentary. You could say we bonded over a shared love of Lexicon effects modules. Sexy!
Ahem, Tigger…Phil wasn’t the drummer. That, of course, was The Great Paul Thompson.
D’oh!
I was thinking of ugly Thompsons. Paul is a lot better looking than Phil, even today.
Blondie ? Yeah, but no. Debbie is one of the most beautiful beings to grace the planet, Clem and Jimmy are very handsome. But Frank and Chris ? That throws your average out quite a bit.
Which are the ugly ones here?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blondie_(band)
I was thinking of Frank Infante, and Chris Stein’s a bit angular. But I’m not in a particularly strong position to judge these things. You’re right that the Valentine/Burke/Harry/Stein/Destri line up is rather fine in the promo pics.
Good looking drummers? Sheila E. You’re right though. Thin on the ground.
Taylor Hawkins is pretty handsome.
Not to mention Dave Grohl. Possibly when younger. Some of the time at least. Or what about Nirvana themselves? All quite acceptable really, nothing to upset anyone there.
Acceptable does not equal beautiful.
*hastily rewrites Tinder profile*
Steve Jansen, handsome lad, fantastic drummer with a highly idiosyncratic percussive style.
Dave’s a bit funny looking. Kurt was beautiful.
Krist Novoselic. Tremendous human being. Integral part of the band. At his absolute most handsome was almost as good looking as Cameron Frye in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Also colossally tall.
I love him, but I’m not sure we can describe him as classically good looking. Ditto Grohl.
Cobain was one of the most preposterously photogenic musicians of them all though.
Krist, bless him, is basically Lurch.
https://i.redd.it/e76p7u6bcgqz.jpg
Reni has his fans, or did, as does Stewart Copeland and yer man out of Stray Cats. Mel Gaynor out of Simple Minds was a honey. Other than that, yes Brer Drummer is usually a bit odd-looking.
Ahem.
Dennis Wilson was a fine looking lad
And still no mention of Spandau Ballet. Still not getting my vote but I’ll throw them out there for the sharks to circle.
Martin Kemp, John Keeble and Spiny Norman are pretty fine, but Gary and Foghorn, not so much.
Martin Kemp was born with three kidneys while brother Gary was born with one. With that and the looks thing Gary has every right to look as
pissed offannoyed as he always does. (Realised that in the medical circumstances calling him ‘pissed off’ might be adding insult to injury.)Gary was even more pissed off after a childhood of hearing Martin greet him with “Alright, our kidney?”. Every. Single. Sodding. Day.
Qualiddy, that.
The best part of 200 posts in… it’s still The Bangles, isn’t it (if they weren’t being cruelly excluded)?
Bangles have a 1 in 4 hit rate for me so I don’t think so.
Which one would that be, MC?
So if I’ve understood Bingo’s rules, this lot should qualify by being a band, and not just Sade herself, for the name is the same, and her beauty (aye) would shunt the average upwards, even if you don’t exactly see the musicians too well (but they’re probably reasonably average) thus giving us a, say, top 10 candidate. Not sure myself actually..
Whatever: Sade.