I can’t promise to look after this as closely as I should as I’m popping in and out of the kitchen right now and will probably be drunk by the time it’s over, but we need somewhere for all of us (which is more than might admit it) enjoying the show. Away you go.
The Afterword Eurovision live blog!
by 107 Comments
Here come the Begians!
With a Rapper’s Delight/Another One bites The Dust bassline.
Czech republic goes for the wind machine approach.
Belgium was all Beyoncé/Justin Bieber type pop crap. Whereas Czech Republic is all Bonny Tyler drama.
Both shite.
The Netherlands seem to have a Cliff Richard knock off.
I thought The Eagles. Or James Taylor. Or someone.
Only just realised the Hungarian guy is a singing in English
Is he Zayn from 1D long lost bro?
My first thought too.
Always a sucker for a cute hippie chick with melting brown eyes.
Our scorecard has Italy well in the lead so far
And Italy the first to sing in their own language. Way to go!
Ooh, she’s gone into English. The polyglot!
Spending the Israeli performance waiting for a key change which never seems to come
I quite like that – very 80s
We Are Made Of Stars indeed. Cos we are. Moby said so too. Israel and Netherlands best so far imho.
And at last a song that sounds like it was recorded this year
Bloody hell Sweden, make an effort.
Yep. Decent lyric too. Best so far.
Sweden? We have him last.but the night is young.
As is Franz.
Questionable hat, that’s our verdict
That’s how I like to imagine Bricameron dresses.
To our surprise France, which we didn’t think we enjoyed much, is joint lead in our scoring
why has BeetleJuice come on stage?
Just woken up after a few bricamerons…English is apparently the only language allowed in Euroland . All too much for me, I’m off to bed.
“it’s like being in a football stadium… but more camp”
I wonder how the Austrexit vote will go. Not sure they’re fully committed to the EU.
Can anyone explain why Australia are in it? My wife has just asked whether they already know who has won because it is sunday morning there….
This Australian one might get about 3 points in total or might resonate with all of Europe and sweep the board. I can never tell.
I’m sure that’s the guy who runs my local Turkish barbers on vocals
If Australia win it, does everyone have to go there next year?
They’ll stage it in Germany with an Australian crew. Not that I’ve been paying attention or anything …
I doubt it. For one thing we wouldn’t all fit. And who’d feed our pets?
We’re starting to,like everything. I think the booze is kicking in.
In a corner of Lithuania it will always be 1992
“Frozen, much?” – my daughter on the Lithuanian performance.
The favourite, apparently.
He strikes me as a stand in for someone with more charisma
He is performing like a winner though
“Thunder and lightening, it’s getting exciting!”
This Russian one is giving me some great ideas for my next presentation at work.
Spot the models who have been told ‘don’t look at the presenter!’
“Crazy is the new mad” – that presenter lady is funny…
An ‘alternative music school’? Hyphens can be so portent.
Ahem. ‘Important’.
Rehearsal note ‘Think “haunted”‘
Greetings from Stockholm. I am (probably) the Afterworder who is geographically closest to the actual comptetion this year, as Kaisfatdad is spending the weekend in London.
Central Stockholm has been packed with Eurovision fans for the past five days. I’m longing for Monday, when I won’t have to share a tube carriage with hordes of people with very poor musical taste, waving the flags of Switzerland and Azerbaijan.
Welcome! Isn’t Locust in Stockholm too?
I am, but being Swedish, I actually watched it (stone cold sober), taking notes and everything, so I didn’t have time to join you.
I heard at least two songs heavily influenced by “Umbrella” and two Coldplay rip-offs, judging by our song I don’t think we wanted to win again this year (I’m surprised that it got that many votes), I can’t understand why I liked that odd Polish guy as much as I did, Spain was taking fashion tips from Madonna circa “Desperately Seeking Susan”, the minute I heard the Georgian Snufkin and his band channelling Oasis I thought “and all of UK is picking up their phones now” (and you did), Austria was reinacting the film “Enchanted”, Armenia’s contestant got very few points in the talent part of the show but made up for it in the swimsuit section, and Ukraine had a gorgeous song but I bet no-one’s whistling it on the way out of the arena.
At least I wasn’t bored (much).
Ukraine channeling Massive Attack?
MY bro in Law is in Stockholm too. I texted him to ask if he was there. His reply was “No, cos it’s shit” The fool he is *so* missing out.
Thought for the day – why isn’t a male ballet dancer called a ballerino?
They are.
Only in your house.
Malta has a show off Bez-type dancer.
We liked Cyprus, so this could be up our street.
This is what graham calls a ‘big slab of noise’ is it? I guess he never went to many Motörhead gigs.
Georgia are actually giving us a band. Brave.
Gosh didn’t know Kasabian were Georgian
Georgia evoking Primal Scream (or that’s what it sounded like through a haze of beer and sitting in a different room)
You can always spot the more conservative countries by the dresses the women wear.
Made it! Georgia top by miles so far.
And our sub-Coldplay entry sounds ok as well to these Leffe handicapped ears.
UK entry could have been a good 80s single.
UK lose points for the spooky non blinking guitarist
Last song? So soon?
UK entry best song, but we can’t vote for ourselves!
Armenia – she’s trying too hard.
A Florence wannabe, me thinks
My top 5:
1. Georgia
2. Sweden
3. UK
4. Israel
5. Netherlands
We inhabit very different npmusical worlds, Gary. Apart fro the UK all of your top 5 are in the bottom half by our marking.
Yeahbut, only cos you’re all drunk and everything. You’re probably holding the scorecard upside down.
Our votes are in:
1) Russia
2) Cyprus
3) Equal Bulgaria, France, Armenia
Last is Sweden. Sorry Sweden. Try harder next time.
1. Belgium
2. UK
3. Russia
Justin, you are losing any cool you have.
Quite good: Holland, Italy, Ukraine, Armenia, Georgia.
The winner is gonna come from Bulgaria, Australia, or Russia
Justin brought sexy back didn’t he? Anyone’s guess where he put it once he did. He holds all he sexual menace of Justin Bieber.
Cassandra doing Beatles’ Tomorrow
http://concert.arte.tv/de/moers-festival-livestream-vom-140516
Nice
Now a hot version of Miles’ Voodoo. Antedote to ESC. Reference to Moers festival. Running now.
Are 70s bow rise a hipster affectation now?
That’s ‘ties’. Alcohol may have robbed me of the power of typing.
We have a winner. The presenters deliver the song of the night.
No arguments here.
It was actually quite funny once it going (and gives the lie to the idea that all the other countries take it really seriously while we snigger behind our sleeves at it) –
Top 40 hit easily
Liked the hybrid euro song. Genuine lols
Finland, land of the dead. That’s their tourist info slogan.
Deaf not dead. Wine fingers to blame.
Why was Eddie Izzard giving the Latvian results? 12 points to Ukraine, you’ll need a tray…”
Australia looking likely to take it.
But only on the jury votes – audience votes yet to come!
David Sedaris (quoting his boyfriend Hugh) : a bow tie is a signal to the world that the wearer can no longer get an erection
I thought Richard Osman might make a pointless reference…
No one here who elected winners mentioned that well known European country Australia at all.
Though we had them in joint fourth on our cards.
Ahem, check my comments
Agh but you didn’t rank them and elect a 1, 2, 3
Actually, BigJimBob did.
Ahem, check.
Frankly I’m about a bottle and a half into the evening and too drunk to care. Hic.
Christopher Biggins is in Ukraine!
Ukrainian oh woe is me emo anthem carries the day. Ho hum.
Basically bluesy, nice little drift into Orienal scale at the end, wee bit exotic.
Reading this was so much more fun – and quicker – than following the real thing. Would the team consider liveblogging the olympics?
That headline in today’s Daily Bile in full…
RUSSIA ANNEXES UKRAINE – “THAT EUROVISION CROWN IS OURS” SAYS PUTIN
Interesting reading the comments, down here the Aussie contestant was ALWAYS going to be top 5 . Fuck knows why we are in the comp but then if Israel is there.
Aussie came fifth last year. This year’s contestant is Korean-Australian with a broad Aussie accent and looks a bit like Kylie (hubba hubba) -comes from a tough part of Brisbane with a v multi cultural school -good on her.
Be amazed if Australia ever won.