I know there are a few Pop Crazed Youngsters on here who follow the Chart Music Podcast (go here if you’re not already up to speed : https://chartmusiccouk.wordpress.com/) and one of the joys is hearing from the great Taylor Parkes, who for my money is the Peter Cook or Chris Morris of music criticism. He can shine a light on music he loves in glorious technicolor or as if describing an incredibly elaborate and delightful piece of machinery, but he’s also funny as f**k in an extraordinarily creative fashion when something doesn’t take his fancy. A few of my favourites:
Banksy: “Fatuous ruiner of Brick Walls”
Big Fun : “Human Sop…like someone has gone all out to find a group of lads as wetly Anglo Saxon and Custard-like as possible..plucked out of the ground in the dead centre of England, put into a cylinder and fired through the Barley… straight into a recording studio”
Laurie Lingo (aka Dave Lee Travis) “A goat’s arse that talks….I hope he jackknifes”
Shakin’ Stevens: “The perfectly spherical pebble at the centre of the universe, the rotation of which is used to set the intergalactic clocks. Say what you like about Shakin’ Stevens but it would be unfair to accuse him of inconstancy.”
Jeff Rich (the Drummer from Status Quo since the 80s) “..like a blonde Keith Harris with the face of a newly born lamb”
Noel Edmonds’ Haircut: “like the drooping wings of a dead kestrel”
Rick Wakeman “Vindaloo breathed, beery medievalism..wearing a pointed hat while checking his pools coupon”
I could go on…
He’s brilliant, but does David Stubbs like anything?
Yes – the Young Gods of course!
He’s a bit annoying. For me the dream team is Taylor and Simon Price, any other combination is not as good.
I’m hoping for a bonus episode around Christmas – we had 3 4 hour episodes last December!
They seem to have slowed down a bit. To be honest I would prefer shorter episodes appearing more frequently. But the time they take to come out may more be down to Al’s self confessed technical limitations.
And so it occurred. It’s a Christmas miracle!
His takedowns of BA Robertson (Chart Music #27) and Toyah (Chart Music #39) are quite something. CM remains my favourite podcast, though if you’re new to them I’d start with one of the shorter earlier episodes and work your way through them – the length and the in-jokes (particularly in the first 3/4 hr) of later episodes may put newbies off.
I agree. Both artists mentioned take quite the proverbial pasting (BA Cunterson indeed). There is a dark poetry to his decriptions that I find hilarious and oddly compelling.
It’s a brilliant podcast and I’m glad they’ve started editing them down into four parts.
And adding commercials. No thanks. I do pay for it through Patreon, but prefer my podcast app to download it automatically than fiddling aroung with logins and downloads going to other areas of my phone.
How on earth can you mention Taylor Parkes without referencing his magnificent takedown of the witless Tim Lovejoy for When Saturday Comes?
https://www.wsc.co.uk/the-archive/42-Media/145-no-love-no-joy
By having zero interest in Football and being only dimly aware of Mr Lovejoy as a consequence.
Thanks so much for the post, Doc – I just read the Lovejoy evisceration – wonderfully crafted & demonstably sincere in every syllable.
As a lifelong CFC supporter, well accustomed to wincing at the antics of ‘fellow travellers’, Lovejoy is obviously beneath contempt as the personification of all things plastic.
I look forward to checking out his takes on Toyah et al.