I don’t want to hear from car drivers about how annoying cyclists are or from cyclists about how annoying car drivers are or from car drivers about how annoying other car drivers are who hog the middle lane, or drive too close up your arse, etc. We’ve done all that before and we know where we stand.

I’ve got a couple of new ones.

[a] Those pricks on motorcycles who look like they’re Biker-Bill until they get up close and you see that their high-vis vest actually says “POLITE” and not “POLICE”. Surely they should be done for trying to impersonate an Officer of the Lerr.

[b] These new Lidl supermarkets that have about 20 spaces in their car parks when they need about 100, causing lines of waiting vehicles on access roads and consequent delays to through traffic. I blame the local authority for giving them planning permission.

You have any current motoring gripes?

Oh yeah. [c] The Kingston F***ing Bypass.