Despite sluicing the taxpayer to the tune of many billions in dividends, our* magnificent water and sewerage companies now want to increase their bills next year by between 24% and 91%, depending upon how well practised they are in keeping a straight face while they take the piss.
In recent months I have been off the sauce almost entirely, guzzling water by the gallon instead. I’ve lost 10 Kgs in weight, and if I look downwards past my stomach I can confirm that I am no longer in the early stages of obesity. All of this progress is however now in jeopardy, as it looks like the most sensible option from 2025 onwards is going to be to exclusively drink beer.
Should this result in inadvertent intoxication, I fear that I might rashly take to the streets with a few half bricks and head to the nearest water company’s offices to wreak revenge on the greedy thieving bastards.
* I say ‘our’ but a lot of them are owned by overseas interests these days. Market rules innit.
