In the song Monster Mash, the Monster Mash itself is a dance. It’s also the name of the song being sung. We conclude then, don’t we, that the characters mentioned in the song are dancing to some other groovy music from the time.

With me so far?

But…here’s the thing. When you hear the song, what do you imagine? I imagine a group of monsters and ghouls etc dancing *to* the song Monster Mash. Just like Pan’s People (see the video in comments).

I put it to you (grabs own lapel a la Rumpole of the Bailey) that it is not possible to imagine anything else!

And yet…the only song in the world that the monsters are definitely NOT dancing to is the song, Monster Mash! And also – we are none the wiser on how to actually do the monster mash dance. The song doesn’t tell us.