I for one applaud Team Mod’s bold new palette! There’s nothing quite like painting something brown to freshen it up! To celebrate their happy chromatic initiative, let’s have a KFD-style thread of All Things Brown!

Let’s get this dung beetle ball rolling with Frank Zappa, no stranger to brown love!

Coincidence? I think not!

Plenty more where this came from here: (*pastes link into box*)

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https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

What’s with this ghastly new colour scheme? It’s given this august institution all the graphic dignity of a Bisto tin. Is there nobody amongst the mods who isn’t either colourblind or totally devoid of graphic skills? It’s an outrage. And – like Trump – NOTHING WILL BE DONE. We’re stuck with it.

As funny today as it was back then. And you can’t say that about much, can yer? Eh? EH?

https://commentisweird.tumblr.com/?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

I found this sifting through my external drives, and if there’s one place it might be enjoyed, it’s here. My Dad became quite adept – in a quiet way – at cooking for himself, and wrote about it with as much enjoyment. He took the photographs, too. I did him a layout, which has become uglified in file conversion, and his achievement merits a little wider circulation.

Good appetite!

https://workupload.com/file/BrSfjkUd4Sx

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I know I take the Michael out of him something rotten, have been for years and years (can you remember his Nude Trampolining Camp, readers?), but he is a stalwart pillar of this community, a reliable content provider (unlike chiz, say – just a name pulled at random) who kept the Afterword flag flying – well, fluttering – during the Dark Ages, and whose good humour is a tonic in these terrible times. So please take a minute or so to attach a YewChewb clip you think he might enjoy, as a way of saying – “thanks, old chap!”

Done something recently that gives you small but significant pleasure? (Not that, Moose.) Some seemingly trivial action that creates a secret glow of satisfaction in a job well done? Something you wouldn’t brag about but feel that a little appreciation would be justified?

Example. I’d been struggling with a badly-designed frying pan for months. Handle too heavy, resulting in instability. So I sawed a couple of inches off it. Not as easy as it sounds, let me tell you! Very dense heat-proof plastic. Hacksaw. Holding pan secure while the work was done. Result? Complete success! Pan now sits securely on its base. Handle long enough to hold. The gratification seems out of proportion with the act. I didn’t reverse climate change, or learn to play Fairy Bells on the piano. I made a modest improvement that returns a private pleasure every day. I did a thing I’m mildly proud of.

There are other examples, but I’m sure you get the gist.

Help me here. I hadn’t heard of her, but there she is, apparently your next unelected Prime Minister! Anyone would think you were living in a Third World country!

She looks and sounds like a freaking nightmare, par for the course for your institutionally eternal Tory government, but does she have secret attributes tucked away? How are you wearing her? And does she have the cojones?

There’s a nice summation of what we know/don’t know here:

https://mobile.twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/1556798517208924164

(I used the box as well)

https://mobile.twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/1556798517208924164

Comment: “If you are seeing this you probably got rickrolled” (54,000 “likes”)

In the ‘sixties (a bore writes), it was the format of the U.K. beat combo; three snaggle-toothed, whey-faced, potato-nosed blerks, and one for the girls to scream at.

Here’s one example: Yer Beatles. Paul was the Pretty One. Yes, the others had their Special Fans, but Paulie was The Pretty One.

Other examples?

It is my contention that Punk Rock put an end to this. The Pretty Pistol? The Pretty Pogue? But are there any exceptions? Why am I asking you?

Just me, then.

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In a private email, Steve [KIlbey – Ed.] tells me “it won’t be out till next year”, adding that it’s “probably the last Church album.” He also sends me a reelcrafter.com link with the “master mix progress”. I’m listening as I type this.

I just thought you’d like to know. Peasants.

Veteran rocker Mick Jagger today confirmed the addition of a permanent rhythm section to the core three-piece band of Jagger, Keith Richards, and Ronnie Wood. “The more we thought about it, the more sense it made”, says Jagger. “These guys have the experience, were available for work, and fit right in.” “To be honest,” says Paul McCartney, “Ringo and me were waiting for the call for, like, the longest time. We learned pretty much the entire Stones back catalog for the audition.” “We were scared shitless!” laughs Ringo. “These guys are like our idols, you know, and I dropped me sticks at one point during Gimme Shelter. But we got the gig!” Will the new boys be appearing on the next Stones album? “Nah,” says Jagger. “We need to get on the road for a bit, let them settle in.” And what about incorporating some Beatles songs into the setlist? Keith Richards laughs, “Are you fucking kidding?”

Things seem pretty quiet here. Too quiet, you ask me. Nothin’ much of anything happening. Even a KFD piece about Inuit Yurt Zither ensembles trailing an entire day’s worth of YouTube clips behind it would be welcome. So to tide us over, is anyone up for a bout of fisticuffs? I’m an old man and out of shape and should be a pushover. Come on then, if you think you’re hard enough! See you next Tuesday!

This course landscaped for your golfing pleasure. Please replace divots.

It occurred to me today that my Melvyn Bragg impersonation will probably never again be fully appreciated. I live in a country where he’s not widely known. Or at all. My wife looks askance at me when I add an adenoidally compressed Braggsian commentary when feeding the dogs, unaware of its satiric nuance. Similarly, the number of requests for me to perform “Anji”, or the first few bars of “Oh Well Part 1”, on guitar have fallen to their lowest ever for many years now. And who will gasp anew in amazement at my uncannily realistic Owl Hoot, produced with just my cupped hands?

It is nothing short of tragic that these finely-honed life skills have no value in today’s couldn’t-care-less world. Perhaps you have specialised abilities that will likely never be called upon? Why not join me in compiling a useful Skills Bank, right here on this lively on-line community? Plenty of reasons. But join in anyway.

Possibly the single greatest rock music video I’ve ever seen.

(Hope the sound works)

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Heard of DALL-E? Of course you haven’t. You’re still watching Kate Bush videos and trying to convince yourself the latest Van Morrison album is actually pretty good.

DALL-E (a portmanteau of WALL-E and Dali) is a computer technology that creates images from text input. This means, it will draw what you type. Although in its early days of development, the images are stunning (google image search), and the implications are terrifying (basically, you will be able to see anybody doing and saying anything).

The image above (I hope) is the result of my typing the words ROCK FACE into a field at this site: https://pixray.gob.io – I don’t think it’s as advanced as DALL-E, but it’s still scarily impressive.

Vision On? Why not try this at home? Your input will be queued (only seven people in front of me, so pretty quick), and you may well think of something more amusing and provocative to type (@moose-the-mooche). You can post your picture here in a comment! (Pat Keysell voice: “I’m sorry, but we can’t return any of your pictures”)

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IMHO, AFAIR, BBC SFW!

Can someone explain to me exactly how the Abba show (at the “Abba Arena” apparently – not the Abbarena) is done? Are they holograms or not? What’s the technology here? I’ve read a couple of reviews this morning (it’s fantastic, apparently, if you liked Abba, which would be kind of a dealbreaker for me) but there’s no explanation of what’s happening.

Somebody here must know, Shirley?

Binge watching on recommendation of Archie Valparaiso (14). It’s terrific. Which is a surprise as his recent recommendations have been for Adele and Batman. Of course, if you don’t “have” Apple TV, and you do “have” morals, it’ll mean breaking the law and possibly incurring a prison sentence or hefty fine if you watch it at home. So let me tell you what your high moral stance is costing you: the finest televisual binge since Engrenages. Everything is perfect, as far as I can tell. London is grimy and gothic. The streets are slippery with red herrings and every door bangs open onto a cliff-hanger. Gary Oldman farts himself awake and doesn’t mind re-opening his dinner in front of Kristin Scott Thomas, who makes Helen MIrren look like a crack whore. Some LOL-out loud lines, some exciting violence, and an overall impression of it having been made by grown-ups for grown-ups. I’m four episodes in, out of six (I think), and I’m already gagging for another series based on the works of the author whose name I have forgot (like Gary Oldman’s fart). But I’m not going to read them in case they make another TV series. Who needs books » Continue Reading.

This field cannot be blank.

When you were a wee tyke, becoming aware of music, what records did your Mum and Dad have? (Apologies at this point for exclusionary, entitled, gender-restrictive terminology). The records in my home were mostly my Mum’s – in spite of his claims to be “a musician”, the only notes my Dad was interested were wrong ones, or the ones he considered to be wrong. I can’t remember him ever bringing a record home, but my Mum did. She’d buy records that were playing in the record shop if she liked the sound of them, without knowing anything about them. Ike Quebec’s “Blue And Sentimental”, George Shearing’s “Out Of The Woods”, Bing Crosby & Rosemary Clooney’s “Fancy Meeting You Here”, and Dave Brubeck’s “Greatest Hits” were high points, and albums I’ve listened to ever since. There were also the usual James Last and Bert Kaempfert soundtracks for swingin’ suburban parties (not that kind of swingin’), a couple of classical albums, and a Readers’ Digest box set (“Mood Music For Listening And Relaxation”) that in common with other box sets – to this day – remained mostly unopened. The singles in a shoe box weren’t of much interest – I can remember » Continue Reading.