It’s not widely known that resident Afterword mascot Mike Thep has a secret past as a “rock ‘n roller”, but Colin H’s official biography “I Could Of Been The Next Terry Dene – The Mickey Genial Story” sets the record straight! As a willowy young lad with a cowlick and a curled lip, Mike Thep was noticed by pop impressario and physique enthusiast Larry Parnes in a public house of ease. “I was surprised by his approach, as I was just zipping up, but his persistence, and encouraging manner, soon won me over” laughs Mike today from his Belmont North Nissen hut. What Parnes glimpsed, perhaps reflected in wet porcelain, was potential. He had already established a stable of willowy young lads, giving them virile names (Billy Fury, Vince Eager, Duffy Power etc.) and flashy cufflinks, and saw young Mike Thep as an exciting addition. “But Mickey – I called him Mickey from the get-go – had something different – a kindly, almost avuncular quality, so I dubbed him Mickey Genial, and we went straight into the studio – my back room in dear old Romilly Street – and sweated long and hard into the night on his seven-incher.” That » Continue Reading.
Saw This And Thought Of You
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The Top Five Best Van Morrison Albums You Must Hear Of All Time Before You Die, Ever
Let’s get this damn business settled once and for all. Steve T’s alarming claim that Hymns To The Silence is the great man’s “best album” cannot – must not! – go unchallenged. List yer Top Five and we can all go home with a sense of satisfaction that the issue has at last been laid to rest.
If we’ve done this before, and it seems more than likely we have, please link to the results and we can accept those and save ourselves a lot of bother. If not, roll your sleeves up and get stuck in. Five for your top choice (at the top of your list), one for the bottom.
Here’s mine (which is of course definitive):
Astral Whelks (I KNOW! I KNOW! SHUT UP!) St. Dominic’s Preview Veedon Fleece Too Late To Stop Now Tupelo Honey
Songs About Erections
I have to “enter my post” here, apparently.
The Things Kids Say!
In the Oz tennis thread Dan P quotes his twelve year-old as saying someone is “a bit of a Karen.” This is brilliant (I do know what a Karen is). Not knowing any young, English-speaking kids, I’m probably missing out on a wealth of teenspeak. If you have kids, what are they saying?
I Am So In Love With This Woman My Toes Crimp
And she’s going to be President. Just the first minute or so of this clip is what she’s all about. Smart, funny, and milftastic. No, you can’t have her. I bagsied first.
Catering For The Production Of Lord Of The Ringos
Curry That Wight
Trump Pardons Hitler, Vlad The Impaler, In Burst Of Yuletide Good Will
A beaming Donald Trump, dressed in traditional Santa garb, dispensed festive pardons from the balcony of the White House today. Reaching into his sack for another seasonal get-out-of-jail-free card, he said “Merry Covfefe from your favourite president! Here’s that long-awaited pardon for Pol Pot!”
A packed crowd of up to a dozen faithful White House staff sang (I’m Dreaming Of A) Trump Christmas as their President essayed a few waist-up dance moves before being stretchered off.
Johnson Agrees To Farage’s Demand For Covexit Referendum
Nigel Farage gave a triumphant press conference from the open roof of the Covexit Bus yesterday after Prime Minister Boris Johnson gave the go-ahead for a National Covid Referendum. “The Great People of Britain will have their say!” He said to the crowd of maskless Covexit supporters filling the Winnersh, Berks, car park. “Vote LEAVE, vote COVEXIT, and we sever all ties with the pandemic, freeing five million billion Great British pounds to restart the economy and rescue the NHS! A vote for leave is a vote for health and prosperity! For too long the Great British people have suffered the unnecessary and criminal restrictions on personal liberty caused by this immigrant virus! Claim your birthright freedom and vote LEAVE on January ist for a New Year like no other!” Farage was borne aloft through the swelling crowd as impromptu renditions of Rule Brittannia and (Simply Having) A Wonderful Christmastime filled the air. Johnson said later from an undisclosed location he was “confident the Great British People will make the right decision.”
Great Pubs
You must have known at least one. I mean almost mythically great with something extraordinary about it, not just an acceptable local boozer.
Many years ago (*harp glissando*) I used to frequent the Miners’ Arms at Greenhow, near Pately Bridge. This was great for the following bullet-proof reasons:
1 Free house. As I haven’t lived in the UK for a long time, I have no idea if they still exists. It meant not being owned by a brewery, and able to sell what the hell the landlord wanted to sell. This resulted in 16 taps along a fairly short bar, because he wanted to sell a lot.
2 One room. None of this fancy partitioning or different levels or what-have-you. It was basically the front room of a house, with bench seats around two sides.
3 Darts. None of that southern nonsense, either – no trebles. One of the locals, humourously nicknamed Butch, threw from the hip – never seen that anywhere else. He also wore a stetson. All the time.
4 House mild, correctly mixed by John the landlord from the slops and allowed to ferment a little. Jesus fucking christ.
5 Lock-ins. Regular, whenever there was a demand, » Continue Reading.
Pop Stars Asking Irritating Questions
When we all fall asleep, where do we go? – Billie Eilish Have you ever seen the rain? – Creedence Clearwater Revival How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand? – Bob Dylan
Legal Lockdown Highs
– Keep a couple of Halls Mentholyptus lozenges in your mouth as you drink a cold glass of milk
– Put your head inside (empty) washing machine and mystically chant “OM”
– Rub muscle strain liniment into scrotal sac, then as eyes begin to water, into eyes
Er …
Steve Kilbey – Eleven Women
The “post a review” thing was too baffling for me to cope with, so here it is.
I was a little – what’s the word? – trepidatious? coming to this. Steve – I call him Steve – hasn’t really been on songwriting form for a while. But this is possibly his best solo album, like, ever. Colour me astonished, really. We’ve exchanged emails about it – I am Friend To The Stars – and he’s chuffed with it (as much as he can be – he’s the driest, slyest bloke I ever talked to), as he should be. Because songs. Not the usual mid-paced semi-ambient monotone stuff I was expecting. I think the democratic composition technique in the Church had led to songs-by-numbers. Here, he shows what he can do, and what he can still do. I was also concerned – that’s the word I was looking for – that this was going to be an *ulp* “lo-fi” production, which it ain’t. Everything was done in a couple or three takes, and there’s an energy here I haven’t heard from him for decades. But it’s not a punk album, it’s beautifully produced without being polished to a gleaming shine.
A Covid Christmas In The UK?
What do you have planned that your government won’t fine you for?
One of the reliefs of living Out Here is not having to deal with Christmas, neither having to opt out nor opt in. It’s a horrible, venal, stressful “festival” that should die anyway – will covid help to kill it off?
(Two arguments that are way past their sell-by date; People who don’t like Christmas are bah-humbug Scrooges who seek to abolish a wonderful heart-warming time of the year, and “it’s for the kids”).
The Product Placement© Thread
D’you know, readers, as I was shaving this morning with my GILLETTE© MACH III™ razor, it occurred to me that a thread featuring favourite Name Brands might prove not unpopular! Yes, as the triple blades of the GILLETTE© MACH III™ sliced easily through my stubble, even after five weeks of daily use – I ruminated pleasurably – you can do that in the shower (@Moose) – on the sheer performance of the GILLETTE© MACH III™ razor! They promise a week’s worth of shaving with every blade, but I get up to a couple of months out of every GILLETTE© MACH III™ blade cartridge! I have what I imagine is a “reasonably sized” (@MC Escher) beard growth, and find that the GILLETTE© MACH III™ razor is not only a pleasure to use, with its sleek lines and weighted and balanced handle, but also surprisingly economical! I bought a starter pack GILLETTE© MACH III™ razor + cartridge at half price, but even at full price the GILLETTE© MACH III™ will prove at least as economical as those flesh-slicing disposable razors! Yes, readers, as I rinsed off the precision blades of the GILLETTE© MACH III™ after yet another successful facial grooming exercise, I » Continue Reading.
Sixteen Minutes Of Goggle-Eyed Guitar Bliss You Must Experience Before You Die, Ever
The weird thing is, after being totally enraptured by this for oh-so-many reasons – wait – let’s have that list in full –
– No “hi guys! wasup?” YewChewb commentary – No generic music soundtrack – Sounds flat-out hilarious even when not on drugs – Deeply satisfying skills/toolage – Impeccable filming/editing – Gives flattering impression you could do actually this, with her skills. And tools. And wood. – Adorable text interjections – “Actually I screwed up here” – Rocks out to earbuds at one point – How Bellows sees the world
– the weird thing is, even after all this, I still don’t want the stoopid guitar, beautiful tho’ it be.
The Discreet Charm Of The Box Set
My first box set was Soft Machine’s Triple Echo, which may be the first, historically, with rare studio and live tracks rounding out a career overview to that point (already long in ’77!), together with a nice book. It set the form and the standard for all subsequent box sets, of which I bought quite a few. The advent of the CD made the concept more attractive, less cumbersome, and a regular feature of most acts’ back catalogue. Demos were expected, maybe interviews, anything that could be marketed as new, with the added value of remasters. And the bloat factor came in like gangbusters. Six discs, eight … there seems to be no limit.
But all of these lavish and satisfying collections stayed on the shelf. The act of owning them became enough in itself. What was the point of going to all the trouble of opening the box, choosing which disc you wanted to hear, and ejecting it after thirty minutes or so? When the alternative was simply to play an album, it all seemed too much hassle.
These days, I have no physical recordings at all, so the idea of a box set is redundant (as it is » Continue Reading.
What internets do you squint at first in the morning?
When I shake my mouse (@moose) in the morning, I hit the same half-dozen or so pages to see what’s happened since I fell into bed. These are they:
– Fastmail email account. I’ve had Fastmail for a long time. Bulletproof, plain and simple. Last year they lowered my already low sub because I’ve been with them so long.
– palmerreport.com. Bill Palmer is a rabid anti-Trumper who consistently devalues language (Trump is always “destroyed” by a mild critical tweet) and rarely carries any original news pieces, but for a headline-only update fo what’s happening (you really don’t need to need the short pieces attached, although T.R. Kenneth is a thoughtful contributor), the site works well as an instant catch-up. Use adblock.
– The Daily Beast, rawstory, and huffpost. If I venture “below the fold” on any of these sites I start to get irritated, but for headlines and short news pieces while you’re having a coffee they’re ideal.
– newzit.com. You can focus on UK or US news, seeing all the front web pages of a large number of news sites which you can click to bigly. The Drudge Report is arms-length fascinating – once tin-foil pro-Trump, it’s now » Continue Reading.
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY!
YES, OCTOBER 22 IS INTERNATIONAL CAPS LOCK DAY! (LOOK IT UP)
WHAT WILL YOU BE DOING TO CELEBRATE THE INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY THAT SO FEW SEEM TO KNOW ABOUT?
I’LL BE DOING MY BIT BY RESPONDING TO COMMENTS WITH MY CAPS LOCK BUTTON TAPED DOWN!
Pina Bausch Und Tanztheater Wuppertal – Was She Taking The P*** Or What?
In this thread, I’d like to discuss the issues raised by interpretative dance, especially those explored in the melancholic Café Müller (1985), in which dancers stumble around the stage crashing into tables and chairs.
Or, you know, list your favorite lockdown wear. Do you stumble around the house crashing into tables and chairs in your shreddies? Or suit up?
Taurus/Stairway Legal Dispute Finally Thrown Out
Final court ruling today against Mick Skidmore’s attempt to claim Stairway To Heaven was copied from Randy California’s Spirit instrumental Taurus. This has been going on for years. California didn’t want to go to court over it. It wasn’t an issue for him. But after he died Skidmore has been trying to make a buck out of it “for the estate”. Yeah, ri-ight. The legal costs must be e-NOR-mous.
There are wider ramifications, of course. Musicians won’t be so keen to try to sue for copyright over chord sequences or melodies they claim to have created.
George Harrison should never have been sued for My Sweet Lord. Traditional folk music copied and appropriated melodies, classical composers used themes from folk music and each others work. Jazz musicians quote tunes in improvisation. Claiming a few notes as legally your personal property is crazy, a process invented to give work to lawyers, who have done very nicely out of the Skidmore/Stairway business.
