It’s not widely known that resident Afterword mascot Mike Thep has a secret past as a “rock ‘n roller”, but Colin H’s official biography “I Could Of Been The Next Terry Dene – The Mickey Genial Story” sets the record straight! As a willowy young lad with a cowlick and a curled lip, Mike Thep was noticed by pop impressario and physique enthusiast Larry Parnes in a public house of ease. “I was surprised by his approach, as I was just zipping up, but his persistence, and encouraging manner, soon won me over” laughs Mike today from his Belmont North Nissen hut. What Parnes glimpsed, perhaps reflected in wet porcelain, was potential. He had already established a stable of willowy young lads, giving them virile names (Billy Fury, Vince Eager, Duffy Power etc.) and flashy cufflinks, and saw young Mike Thep as an exciting addition. “But Mickey – I called him Mickey from the get-go – had something different – a kindly, almost avuncular quality, so I dubbed him Mickey Genial, and we went straight into the studio – my back room in dear old Romilly Street – and sweated long and hard into the night on his seven-incher.” That » Continue Reading.

Curry That Wight

A beaming Donald Trump, dressed in traditional Santa garb, dispensed festive pardons from the balcony of the White House today. Reaching into his sack for another seasonal get-out-of-jail-free card, he said “Merry Covfefe from your favourite president! Here’s that long-awaited pardon for Pol Pot!”

A packed crowd of up to a dozen faithful White House staff sang (I’m Dreaming Of A) Trump Christmas as their President essayed a few waist-up dance moves before being stretchered off.

Nigel Farage gave a triumphant press conference from the open roof of the Covexit Bus yesterday after Prime Minister Boris Johnson gave the go-ahead for a National Covid Referendum. “The Great People of Britain will have their say!” He said to the crowd of maskless Covexit supporters filling the Winnersh, Berks, car park. “Vote LEAVE, vote COVEXIT, and we sever all ties with the pandemic, freeing five million billion Great British pounds to restart the economy and rescue the NHS! A vote for leave is a vote for health and prosperity! For too long the Great British people have suffered the unnecessary and criminal restrictions on personal liberty caused by this immigrant virus! Claim your birthright freedom and vote LEAVE on January ist for a New Year like no other!” Farage was borne aloft through the swelling crowd as impromptu renditions of Rule Brittannia and (Simply Having) A Wonderful Christmastime filled the air. Johnson said later from an undisclosed location he was “confident the Great British People will make the right decision.”

You must have known at least one. I mean almost mythically great with something extraordinary about it, not just an acceptable local boozer.

Many years ago (*harp glissando*) I used to frequent the Miners’ Arms at Greenhow, near Pately Bridge. This was great for the following bullet-proof reasons:

1 Free house. As I haven’t lived in the UK for a long time, I have no idea if they still exists. It meant not being owned by a brewery, and able to sell what the hell the landlord wanted to sell. This resulted in 16 taps along a fairly short bar, because he wanted to sell a lot.

2 One room. None of this fancy partitioning or different levels or what-have-you. It was basically the front room of a house, with bench seats around two sides.

3 Darts. None of that southern nonsense, either – no trebles. One of the locals, humourously nicknamed Butch, threw from the hip – never seen that anywhere else. He also wore a stetson. All the time.

4 House mild, correctly mixed by John the landlord from the slops and allowed to ferment a little. Jesus fucking christ.

5 Lock-ins. Regular, whenever there was a demand, » Continue Reading.

When we all fall asleep, where do we go? – Billie Eilish Have you ever seen the rain? – Creedence Clearwater Revival How many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand? – Bob Dylan

– Keep a couple of Halls Mentholyptus lozenges in your mouth as you drink a cold glass of milk

– Put your head inside (empty) washing machine and mystically chant “OM”

– Rub muscle strain liniment into scrotal sac, then as eyes begin to water, into eyes

Er …

My first box set was Soft Machine’s Triple Echo, which may be the first, historically, with rare studio and live tracks rounding out a career overview to that point (already long in ’77!), together with a nice book. It set the form and the standard for all subsequent box sets, of which I bought quite a few. The advent of the CD made the concept more attractive, less cumbersome, and a regular feature of most acts’ back catalogue. Demos were expected, maybe interviews, anything that could be marketed as new, with the added value of remasters. And the bloat factor came in like gangbusters. Six discs, eight … there seems to be no limit.

But all of these lavish and satisfying collections stayed on the shelf. The act of owning them became enough in itself. What was the point of going to all the trouble of opening the box, choosing which disc you wanted to hear, and ejecting it after thirty minutes or so? When the alternative was simply to play an album, it all seemed too much hassle.

These days, I have no physical recordings at all, so the idea of a box set is redundant (as it is » Continue Reading.

When I shake my mouse (@moose) in the morning, I hit the same half-dozen or so pages to see what’s happened since I fell into bed. These are they:

– Fastmail email account. I’ve had Fastmail for a long time. Bulletproof, plain and simple. Last year they lowered my already low sub because I’ve been with them so long.

– palmerreport.com. Bill Palmer is a rabid anti-Trumper who consistently devalues language (Trump is always “destroyed” by a mild critical tweet) and rarely carries any original news pieces, but for a headline-only update fo what’s happening (you really don’t need to need the short pieces attached, although T.R. Kenneth is a thoughtful contributor), the site works well as an instant catch-up. Use adblock.

– The Daily Beast, rawstory, and huffpost. If I venture “below the fold” on any of these sites I start to get irritated, but for headlines and short news pieces while you’re having a coffee they’re ideal.

– newzit.com. You can focus on UK or US news, seeing all the front web pages of a large number of news sites which you can click to bigly. The Drudge Report is arms-length fascinating – once tin-foil pro-Trump, it’s now » Continue Reading.