The Afterword

Musings on the byways of popular culture

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The 16 things you need to own to be a Guardian reader

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Little bit of humour to brighten up this damp and dreary Friday

1. Political cartoon toilet books about how terrible the Tories are

2. Grudgingly-used pasta maker

3. Framed poster from art exhibition abroad that you actually, physically visited

4. Photography book with cocks in

5. So many canvas tote bags that it’s actually environmentally catastrophic and plastic would be better

6. Box set of The West Wing, watched to death

7. Three children to prove you can afford it

8. Two cars, complete with scrutiny-proof excuses about the terrible state of public transport in this area

9. Handcarved Kenyan wooden stool that’s not actually comfortable to sit on so is piled with magazines

10. Cabinet of artisanal small-batch flavoured gins, ignored in favour of necking a litre of Bombay Sapphire every weekend

11. Vinyl collection only embarked on because everyone else was

12. Ukelele, obviously

13. Storage unit full of all the stuff you got rid of to be minimalist like one of the homes in the Weekend magazine, then you got new stuff

14. Moleskine notebook containing unused outline for autobiographical novel, unused outline for travel book, unused outline for parody Twitter account, shopping list

15. Hilarious anti-Brexit » Continue Reading.

Bill Wyman ranks The Beatles

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Someone called Bill Wyman has ranked all the Beatles songs; see the link at the bottom of this post. Turns out its not THAT Bill Wyman, but an American critic who shares the name. He clearly likes a list – is he perchance an Afterworder?

Some right old nonsense in here, it has to be said. I think we can all agree that Good Day Sunshine isn’t the very worst track recorded by The Beatles. I doubt even he thinks that.

https://www.vulture.com/2017/06/all-213-beatles-songs-ranked-from-worst-to-best.html

More old than new: Another 2017 list

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Here are my year-end list – a top 20 of new music, and a 25 A-Z list of reissues and archive releases because “there’s more old music than new music.” (Bob Dylan)

1. THE NITS | Angst Weird chamber-pop from the Dutch masters, est. 1975 and still the best band in the world.

2. COLIN HARPER | Titanium Flag Cinematic psych-folk which I already praised here.

3. GAS | Narkopop Pulsing neoclassical techno from the deep dark German forests.

4. MARTY STUART & HIS FABULOUS SUPERLATIVES | Way Out West Twanging psychedelic country with a bit of Benny Goodman thrown in from Connie Smith’s husband.

5. ANDROMEDA MEGA EXPRESS ORCHESTRA | Vula Berlin’s avant-prog orchestra/big band goes Sun Ra.

6. STEVEN WILSON | To The Bone Wilson does strange Eighties. Also strongly recommended – this year’s other albums from him: “Blackfield V” (pop-prog with his buddy from Israel) and “Last Days Of June” (Game soundtrack album of instrumentals and remixes).

7. EMEL | Ensen Like some femme arabian version of Massive Attack.

8. PAUL WELLER | A Kind Revolution Edgy and adventurous Weller-rock with an especially groovy instrumental bonus disc. Also recommended – his other albums from this year: “Jawbone” » Continue Reading.

The Album From Last Year That…

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It won’t be long now before someone posts an Album Of The Year thread which will quickly be filled with lists littered with names of bands that simply have to be made up… to be followed shortly after by hilarious lists of made up bands. But in this giddy excitement over the new, a sober voice will state – in the manner of the modern-day Chinese premier warning against haste in assessing the impact of the French Revolution – that the only safe way to pick a 2017 Album Of The Year is to wait a few years, just to be sure. This otherwise appealing idea is rendered somewhat fanciful on a site where the demographic means that “crazy new beat” you’re grooving to is less likely to be coming from your Rega than from the grim reaper knocking at your door. So, in the spirit of calm reflection but at the same time acknowledging the irrefutable reality that your sense is, at every moment, ebbing away like the air from a punctured tyre, I thought I might ask these questions about your favourites of last year.. (1) Which album’s greatness did you fail to grasp? Here I am referring » Continue Reading.

Last time films were rated – 2015

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I thought there might be interest in seeing what was judged to be the best films the last time there was an Afterword best film poll. The poll winners were the standard popular films, but what was more interesting was each voter’s number one favourite film. Here is an alphabetical list (first comment):

Who posts on here?

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I stumbled onto the Afterword error 404 page just now, which lists all the authors and number of posts they (we) have contributed since April 2014.

The numbers are only accurate at the moment of sampling, of course, but I thought it might be of interest to a few other list fans/ navel gazers. The list is in the first comment.

List of questions about horror movies

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I read a book of questions and answers about horror films called What’s Your Favorite Scary Movie? by Killian H. Gore.

The questions (with my modifications) were:

Favourite horror film? Favourite horror director? Favourite horror sub-genre? Favourite ‘bad’ horror movie? Favourite horror killer? Favourite horror monster/creature? Favourite horror franchise? Favourite horror sequel? Favourite horror remake? Favourite zombie movie? Recommend an obscure horror film for a hardcore genre fan. Favourite non-horror film with a strong horror flavour? What’s the film that made you the most consistently fearful, and what age were you at the time? What’s the single biggest jump scare you’ve experienced? Any horror film that went too far in a bad way? What’s the weirdest horror film you’ve ever seen?

You want to answer them? This might be an old internet meme that I’m unaware of so sorry if this sort of thing has been done before.

——————————–

My answers are what come to me at this moment in time. I’m bound to have forgotten a bunch of great films.

Favourite horror film?

The Thing (1982) is a very strong candidate.

Favourite horror director?

John Carpenter.

Favourite horror sub-genre?

I want to say slasher even though I only » Continue Reading.

Best New-To-You Albums 2015

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I didn’t have much to contribute to the Best Album Poll 2015 thread, since the vast majority of my purchases last year weren’t new releases. I get the feeling this was also the case for several Afternerds and Afterbirds, so let’s have another listy thread of your fave new-to-you records of 2015; those back catalogue, second hand and re-issued albums that you discovered through the year. Do an ordered top ten if you like, or list as many or few as you want.

My faves follow in the comments, in no particular order after no.1. Most were boot sale LPs costing a quid.

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Zines, Zither music, Zoot suits, Zouglou, Zouk, Zydeco – zap your zaniest zounds

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Zoom up with your zealous zillions as we zero in on the zenith of this zestful zone, zis last time zigzagging around the letter ‘z with anything ‘cultural’.

Frank Zappa – Horny

Zipping off with Zion Train – King of Sounds and Blues An infectious song I can’t help dancing to.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pW0QRwF6tg

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Yacht rock, Yarns, YBAs, Yiddish theatre, Yorkshire Bleeps and Bass, Yugoslav punk, yuletide songs – yield your yummy yelps, yells and yodels

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Yes, the yearlong yappy yearning to yank your yardstick for cultural contributions is nearly through. This penultimate plea is for Y.

Y not, indeed?

Art Young (one of the editors of The Masses, “…a full-fledged magazine of social protest in which editorial content and art joined in radical assault upon the social and political structure.” )

Your silent face – New Order Just beautiful, with that wry kick in the tail at the end https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ybT6TLlOdKI

https://vimeo.com/62034574

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Xylophone music, x-rated films, xcetera – xenogamy of xenial xenic xeroxes

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X marks the spot for the 24th extraction and exhibition of excellent exponents of experimental expression for exploration.

Extol anything musical, artistic, cinematic, televisual, literary – all welcomed, no exceptions!

Jean Xceron – Portrait No. 61

First off, some uneasy ambient – Xtal by Aphex Twin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0EahgKvEZA

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Waltzes, watercolours, Westerns, whodunnits, witch house, woodwind sonatas, world music – we want wacky wails, waggish warbling, whiney walls of sound

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As winters wends its way, what whimsical wonders will wheedle onto the ‘W’ thread? Music, art, films, books – all welcome.

John William Waterhouse – KT Tunstall?

Here’s my first – my favourite Wobble – Soledad

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ng0rnLgZ49k

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Vallenato, Vaporwave, Vegan straight edge, Venezuelan rock, Viking metal, Vispop, Volksmusik – a vehicle to view your vibrant videos, varied vocalisations, venerated visuals, vaunted volumes of verse

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Another voyage into the vaults as this vacuous yet vaguely vivacious vanity project veers towards its vestigial verges. I’d value vital versions from voluble veterans as well as virginal visitors

Diego Velázquez – Arctic Monkeys: One for the Road

Lets get things started with something obvious: Velvet Underground – Venus in Furs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwzaifhSw2c

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – UK garage, Underground rap, upbeat pop, uplifting trance, urban folk, Uzbekistani ukulele songs (?) – unveil untold unstoppable ululations

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I unguently urge u to unearth and upload – anything cultural beginning with ‘u’ As ever, anything and everything will be gratefully received.

The Pyramid by Euan Uglow I can’t do better than agree with this quote – the “surface of a Uglow painting is beautiful. The frankness with which it reveals its constructions resonates as you read the continuum of form and space’

Ultramarine – Discovery This takes me back to hot summer days in the nineties. I learned recently that it quotes heavily from a Laurie Anderson song, which raises it even further in my estimation

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGADr_syFFk

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Tango, techno, teen pop, terrorcore, thrash metal, thrillers, timba, trad jazz, trance, tribal house, trip hop, tropicalia, turbofolk – tease our tastebuds with top tips from your treasure troves

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The twentieth topic of tabling tempting treats from turntable, theatre, text, talkie – it’s ‘T’ time!

Turner turns my world around

Track 1 – June Tabor – 10, 000 Miles I love the timbre and austere sound of her voice, it penetrates so deep and scours the soul

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_0SsBwnVS8

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Salsa, samba, sci-fi, shoegaze, ska, skiffle, soca, soukous, soul, speed metal, steampunk, stoner rock, swamp blues, synthpop – share some superb songs, sonantas, symphonies, stories, samples of stage and screen

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Summer is shelved, shall we start the succeeding season with special selections of sensational sounds and sights? The compendium has now reached ‘S’ – show what you savour!. (I think I could almost live with just music from this letter).

Swann and Flanders, (as they weren’t known), sketched by Ronald Searle

I have to start with the Sisters, from back when they were inspired by Joy Division, not Walter White The Sisters of Mercy – Some Kind of Stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnmeRBhezP8

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Rai, r&b, ragtime, rap, rave, reggaeton, renaissance, riot grrrl, rockabilly, rumba – reach for ridiculously rewarding refrains

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The return of the regular request to reply with a rendering from your repertoire of remarkable records This time it’S the pirates’s favourite – R

Anything, be it musical, litereary, cinematic, televisual, artistic – is much appreciated.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti with an ill-advised mis(s)adventure with a Chapman Stick…

To start, here’s Rammstein – Rosenrot – love their teutonic sensationalism.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=af59U2BRRAU

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Queue up your quintessentially quixotic quirky quatrains – Qawwali, Quiet storm, Queercore, Quadrille, Quan ho

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The quest goes on to quarry out more quaint quantities of quality from your cultural quivers. This time, the quiz is on for the letter ‘Q’.

Here is Quentin Blake being surprisingly modern:

And my favourite Q has to be Quicksilver Messenger Service – here playing live – Mona

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D79ujliNh4Q

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Palm-wine, P-Funk, Philly Soul, Polka, Pop, Prog, Psychedelia, Punk – Post preferred pet sounds, pictures, poetry, puppet shows, police procedurals…

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Putting together another piece in the partwork preparing for pride of place in your pedal bin, it’s the letter ‘P’. Please present any personal precious preferences below:

To push off, here’s Pablo

and Propaganda: (P-Machinery)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x34–voVQlU

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Operatic pop, Old school hip hop, Orchestral jazz, Outlaw Country, Outsider Music – Oi! Open out oodles of optimum offerings

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Oh joy! Once again, another OP inviting all sorts of favourite cultural clippage, this time with the theme ‘O’

So, step through Georgia O’Keefe’s magnificent O, and let’s gOOOOOO!

First from me is O Superman (the beginnning of my infatuation) -:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VIqA3i2zQw

Best Dylan songs – the results

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Twang has said he is happy for the results of his Dylan poll to be posted. Here they are:

Title – total score / number of votes (selector/s) Like A Rolling Stone – 73 / 18 (retropath2, anth25, Barry Blue, bengwy, billy shears, chilli ray virus, Cookieboy, H.P. Saucecraft, Jackthebiscuit, Kid Dynamite, Kiwiian, man.of.soup, mikethep, Paul Wad, Rigid Digit, RubyBlue, Steve Walsh, ianess) Tangled Up In Blue – 60.5 / 17 (billy shears, Artery, Bargepole, Baron Harkonnen, Cookieboy, Fiction Romantic, Gatz, Jackthebiscuit, Kid Dynamite, Lando Cakes, paulwright, Rigid Digit, RubyBlue, slotbadger, stanners, Ted Smith, Tiggerlion) Desolation Row – 35 / 12 (DogFacedBoy, Allium Sativum, Barry Blue, bengwy, fatima Xberg, Fifer, Gatz, Kid Dynamite, Kiwiian, Locust, mikethep, SixDog) Visions Of Johanna – 43 / 11 (Bargepole, bengwy, Blue Boy, Declan, Fifer, henpetsgi, Hoops McCann, madfox, man.of.soup, minibreakfast, slotbadger) Blind Willie McTell – 33 / 11 (henpetsgi, Bargepole, Baron Harkonnen’s son, Charlie Gordon, Declan, fitterstoke, Hoops McCann, SixDog, stanners, Steve Walsh, Ted Smith) Love Minus Zero/No Limit – 32 / 9 (Bingo Little, Baron Harkonnen, Charlie Gordon, Fifer’s wife, ianess, Junior Wells, Lando Cakes, man.of.soup, mikethep) Positively 4th Street – 29 / 9 (Ted Smith, Bargepole, Baron Harkonnen, Fiction Romantic, Hoops » Continue Reading.

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Nashville, Neoclassical, New Beat, No Wave, Noise Pop, Northern Soul, Nordic Folk – nominate nice and nasty nuggets of noise

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Now, the next node in the notebook of naming nurtured (musical) numbers, novels, etc. Here we go, everybody! Another fortnight of clips as the letter ‘n’ proudly presents itself for your inspiration and ridicule.

To my shame, the only artwork connected to the letter ‘n’ I could find was the cover of Rio, by Patrick Nagel – I’m sure there are others?

And here’s a song that should be uncontroversial: Nick Drake – Northern Sky

https://vimeo.com/55818166

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Motown, Math rock, Miminalism, Medieval, Merengue, Martial arts, Magic realism, Murder mystery – make merry with a musical and multimedia mix

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Mid-June and mid compendium – muddling the way through to ‘M’. More and more, this feels like a mindless meditation on a microcosm of the massive material out there.

Maybe, but you’ve been mighty magnanimous to mainline two weeks’ worth of alphabetical goodness 12 times this year. Care to continue? There’s mountains of marvelous melody out there!

(mid period Bob Dylan, c/o Edouard Manet)

Here’s a clip to get things started from a Word-friendly bunch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw-8AGRcyvk

Consecutive Compendium of Culture – Let’s list lots of lovely Lambada, Laptronica, Latin jazz, Lo-fi, Lounge, Lovers rock, Low bap (?)

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The letter ‘L’ is the next stop on the leisurely lollop down alphabet lane, so load up any music, art, film, book or cultural artifact that looks like a long loved lodestone. (Bill Fris-ell by Gary Larson)

We are approaching the heart of the compendium, so melt into the trance of L.S:G. – possibly my favourite sound ever

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RzfWRgue7M