Are you a fan? Probably not, you’re all too progressive* and cool. Personally I love it – yes, including turkey. I am the only person I know who actually likes turkey, and I’m actually quite sad when it’s finally finished about three days before Easter.

The thing about Christmas dinner itself is that, like the so-called Traditional English Breakfast, everyone has their own very fixed ideas about what it is and yet every few years something new gets added to it. I had no knowledge of the satirical penis-impersonation that is the pig in blanket before about 2000, and yet people go on about it as if it’s been part of Christmas since Joseph and Mary parked their saddle-sore arses in the stable.

Anyway this is inspired by this very entertaining endurance feat involving Christmas dinners: in spite of its justified reputation for po-faced finger-wagging, the Guardian does occasionally provide moments of fun.

I particularly like: “….you realise it’s served with mashed potato. This is such a heinous Christmas-dinner crime that (like William Wallace) whoever was responsible should be hauled to the Tower of London, stripped, tied to a hurdle, dragged through the streets by horses, hanged, drawn, quartered, » Continue Reading.