Get me, doing list thread. While cooking tonight’s dinner I’ve been listening, for the first time in over 30 years, to Bauhaus’ Press The Eject and Give Me The Tape. Don’t for goodness’ sake try this at home – it really is the most overwrought goth guff. I can’t imagine what 19-year-old me ever saw in it, with his stupid hair and his stupid coat, and his stupid cheekbones.

Anyway, there’s a song on it called The Spy in The Cab and it’s about, ahem, the ‘all-seeing mechanised eye’ which stops lorry driver exceeding the speed limit and their contracted hours. ‘Automated autonomy,’ apparently. At least I think it is; maybe I’m missing something.

It occurred to me that tachography must be one of the weirdest things anyone’s ever got really cross about in song; but I may be wrong. Are there songs about traffic light sequencing or over-sold extended warranties? I’m sure there are.