Over the years, I have received thoroughly unfair criticism from various girlfriends for the exquisite good taste and occasional ironic retro moment that is my musical collection. And what were they playing?

Gilli Smythe. Elkie brook’s dullest years (most of ’em). Enya. “Star wars” soundtracks. Julian Lennon. 1980s Jefferson Starship albums. Tracey Chapman. UB40 after 1981. Vanessa Paradise. Norah Jones … and the non-shitter “Berlin” above – a mock-Goth confection that makes Hazel o’Connor look like Alien Sex Fiend. No wonder I would rather have a wife who likes classical music. That way we have different magisteria, so no comparison is really acceptable (given the humiliation with “Close to the Edge” on the other page).

Your ungallant exposure of the hateful musical taste of ex’s here. This is a gender and sexual-orientation neutral scorning here, so offence given to men, women, same sex-partners (etc.) is all welcome.