What a performance! What a win! At 35, coming back from serious injury after six months of not playing a meaningful game, overcoming his absolute nemesis and his own demons from their previous match-ups. And the manner of the victory – his third five-setter of the tournament, being pegged back twice in sets then losing the opening game of the fifth, to then go again and break Nadal twice – just incredible. One of the pundits made a great point that whilst we recognise Rafa’s tenacity, grit and never-say-die approach as something of a trademark, we have tended to overlook the same qualities in Roger because we are dazzled by the apparently effortless elegance of his game…well, after today we should never be in any doubt that he has The Right Stuff in abundance.
Now I’m not usually of a lavatorial (u-)bent, but I have been up all night smoking sage and onions and have had a genius idea. Halfway through my final herbal refreshment, I let one go. I mean this really ripped. It was impressive; a world-class trouser trumpet. I got to thinking, wouldn’t it have been great to capture a recording of that and share it with my chums at the Afterword! Yet sadly no audio or video evidence was taken, so you will have to take my word for it: It was the intestinal earthquake to end them all.
For a while I despaired, saddened by the knowledge that no other human being would be able to share in my glory. Then it came to me. There is a way for all humanity to benefit. Get your digital devices primed today people. Learn from my error. When you feel one brewing, hit record. Put them out there on the ‘net. We need to hear your farts!