The Afterword

Musings on the byways of popular culture

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World Cup Of Chocolate 2016

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The World Cup Of Chocolate 2016 has been running on Twitter this week and we are down to the final with those plucky globes Malteesers taking on the slab of diabetes Dairy Milk

Richard ‘Pointless’ Osman needs you to vote

If you’re wondering ‘Galaxy’ and ‘Twirl’ are fighting it out for 3rd place. Twirl was the champion in 2010

https://twitter.com/richardosman/status/683377931813580800

RIP BaaadDad

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Years before The Massive (aka you lot) were moaning on about the annoying intricacies of modern life on C4’s premier late night post pub TV show ‘The Adam & Joe Show, Adam “Dr Buckles” Buxton’s father was kicking it for the old school. His trip to Tribal Gathering was particularly chucklesome.

Adam very movingly talked about his father on the last Adam Buxton podcast with Joe Cornish (not the Christmas Day one with Joe Cornish, just to confuse you) clearly still very much struggling to come to terms with everything. He asked that people didn’t send him further condolences so I am posting this here to salute his old dad who made me laugh a hell of a lot as does his son.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rb-GbYxGLik

This the sound of someone losing the plot

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Making out that they’re okay when they’re not And here comes another panic attack Oh here we go again

——-

I explained In a recent missive from the dark side that dealing with depression, anxiety and all manner of woes is an ongoing process, a set of rolling repairs stretching into the distance. You are never “fixed” , “better” or “okay now”. Just because you have a period of relief from that which ails you people assume that you are now fine. It doesn’t work like that.

I admit that my own life has been pretty blissful of late but the black dog can still descend without warning, set off barking by the slightest thing. For instance, the “missing persons” thread on this here blog gave me a serious wobble for a couple of days and still kinda lingers. Cos that was me about two years ago – the post about this was probably lost in the fire – but I had it all planned out and was ready to go when cowardice courage stopped me. Seeing such things being discussed bought back nasty memories of that pain and confusion I was in.

This is not posted to make » Continue Reading.

Scott Walker’s lost Bond song

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When Bond was in his 60’s pomp I find it inconceivable that they didn’t approach Scott Walker to have a crack at a theme – although perhaps they did and the wayward talent turned them down, anyone know? – so I would like to suggest that the lost Bond film ‘Best Of Both Worlds’ had this as it’s theme.

With it’s ‘You Only Live Twice’ strings from Wally Stott – Angela Morley, it’s soft echo of the Bond theme in it’s opening moments – dramatic, soaring vocals and lyrics by Bond-meister Don Black it’s a perfect fit

Any other songs that just cry out to be a Bond theme?

Bjork’s Vulnicura – now with added strings (or rather less digital beats)

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Am currently putting my socks back on after having them knocked off by ‘Vulnicura Strings’ a “stripped back” version of her album from earlier this year. The same vocal takes, made more intimate and raw by their isolation but with added string arrangements and something called a Viola Organista that Di Vinci designed.

I have noticed the absence of the original album from the usual tedious “best of year” lists, maybe it’s release at the start of the year made reviewers who probably got copies early forget about Bjork (as Eminem once sang). I think it’s her most personal and nakedly emotional album to date and if you’re of a similar mind then I’d check this “acoustic” album out

Doctor Who Series 9 (35) : Episode 11: Heaven Sent *spoiler free*

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I suppose I must declare interests here – my mate Rachel directed this but if it was shite I would say so.

I think possibly my favourite Doctor Who story (alongside Androzani, Genesis, Talons, Daemons etc) is Deadly Assassin, a rare companionless outing for Tom Baker’s Doctor including one episode set inside The Matrix (no not that one) a mysterious thought generated surreal landscape with danger and conflict at it’s heart. I happen to know that Rachel watched that particular episode in preparation for shooting this, her second set of finale episodes in as many years.

After Clara’s death last week, the Doctor has been teleported to a strange shifting castle prison with a mysterious wraith tracking his every move. This is effectively shown in low quality video footage immediately giving things an eerie and unreal air. Capaldi manages to keep us riveted with his monologues, trips to his “mind palace” (Hello Sherlock!) and a bit of old fashioned bafflegab. What starts out as a battle against grief, despair, fear and truth becomes a battle against time and endurance of the spirit. He is The Doctor, he will never give up.

Yes this may be one for the fanboysgirls, » Continue Reading.

Podcast bizness

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So we hope you have been enjoying the new podcasts after our brief hiatus due to a cross between life getting in the way and frustration to the total lack of indifference feedback received. Someone complained recently about feeling down after not getting much response to a post it took them 2 mins to write. Try spending an evening recording and then the best part of a day editing it only for people to be too lazy to give you a thumbs up or even a “Yeah, good” post.

Pearls before fuckin’ swine, you black balling bastards

*lies down and does his breathing*

only joshing, I love you all.

So last year as the snow was falling and auld acquaintances were being forgotten we had an open line to The Massive and anyone who wanted could join in and tell us about their year, what they listened to, or whatever was on their mind. So we thought we’d do it again this year. So at some point in December we’ll have a podcast session at a time when as much of the world’s population can take part. So if you wanna join in then keep em peeled

Also my » Continue Reading.

The small victories, the trinkets and medallions, they keep me thinking that someday I might beat you but i’ll just keep my mouth shut

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I’ll never forget my first group therapy session.

It was exactly how I expected except maybe posher. There was a proper wood fire and comfy chairs rather than flaky lino, moulded plastic and the faint whiff of disinfectant. I was lucky enough to be in a BUPA clinic rather than the 9 month wait (at the very least) for any sort of NHS treatment.

A South African woman handed a framed photo which circulated the room as she told her story, the picture was of a young baby and of course it was now dead. The trauma of “cot death”, the subsequent police investigation, the small town gossip and rumour mill was relayed to us with great courage. Leaving me to only conclude, “what the fuck am I doing here?”

I can’t remember how the question came up but I was asked how I would know when I was “better”, what was it that I wanted to be able to do or experience that would mean I had succeeded in freeing myself from the clutches of anxiety and crippling self doubt.

After some thought I replied that when I was in my early teens, being close enough to London » Continue Reading.

Winter drawers on: Seasonal TV treats

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No I don’t mean The Great Escape and Andrew Preview with Eric n Ernie – are there any films TV shows that you dig out at this time of year as an act of welcoming the season to be jolly/miserable?

For the past 30 years – first from an off-air VHS, then a BBC Video and finally a shiny DVD for me it has been ‘The Box Of Delights’ first broadcast 31 years ago tonight. Although it may look basic these days it’s mix of live action and animation effects were mesmerising to the pre-teen DFB. Added to this the marvellous Patrick Troughton, devilish hamming of Robert Stephens and ghoulish ner-do-wells that scared the kiddies along with typically creepy intro music – this is perfect winter warmer material

Bob Dylan’s Ex-Bootleg Series

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The recent Bob Dylan ‘The Cutting Edge’ music bomb of his 1965-66 sessions has left me on Desolation Row.

For one of my favourite CDs, a real “game-changer”, inspirational and fascinating is now surplus to requirement. I’m talking about the Spank Records bootleg ‘The Thin Wild Mercury Music’ named after a quote from Dylan about the Blonde ON Blonde material sounding metallic – ““that thin, that wild mercury sound”.

Bringing It All Back Home sessions Studio A, NYC January 13-15, 1965 If You Gotta Go, Go Now She Belongs To Me It’s All Over Now, Baby Blue I’ll Keep It With Mine (instr) Love Minus Zero/No Limit

CBS Music Row, Nashville, TN January 21, 1965 Visions Of Johanna (Seems Like A Freezeout)

Highway 61 Revisited sessions, NYC July 30, 1965 From A Buick 6

Highway 61 Revisited sessions, NYC June 16, 1965 Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window

Hawks sessions (The Band) CBS studios, NYC Nov. 30-Dec. 1, 1965 Medicine Sunday (Temporary Like Achilles) I Wanna Be Your Lover Number One (instr) Jet Pilot Can You Please Crawl Out Your Window Visions Of Johanna (Seems Like A Freezeout)

Hawks sessions (The Band) New York, » Continue Reading.

Sometimes you’re better off dead, there’s a gun in your hand and it’s pointing at your head

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You think you’re mad too unstable Kicking in chairs and knocking down tables In a restaurant in a West end town

The former Smash Hits writer and his pal gave their song ‘West End Girls’ a second shot at success 30 years ago today. (yes. Thirty. Years. Ago.) kicking off a fabulous career on pop’s merry-go-round. With that wonderful opening couplet sung in Tennant’s distinctive nasal deadpanned way that either infuriates or beguiles. Like any writer Neil knew how to kick the doors down and grab the listener’s attention from the off. The simplistic backing creates a sinister and edgy atmosphere, that jazzy sax and feale backing vocal melding with the electronic bassline. Pop music at it’s very best.

And most importantly – you can’t hear any beards

Today is World Mental Health Day

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I’m not going to post a deep and inspiring message from a philosopher , writer, member of S Club 7 etc.or a cutesy cartoon I found on Google or a Carole King song.

All I will say is that if you know someone who suffers from depression, anxiety or any other of a myriad of disorders that sometimes make them difficult to be around. That makes them rude, angry or seemingly self centred and unwilling to accept help.

They can’t help it.

But you can by just being their friend for when they do feel able from under their crippling lack of confidence and shame to pick up that phone they have been ignoring, to accept that lunch invitation, to answer the door.

As that person I love all my friends for the kindness they have shown me, even if sometimes it seems that you have been no help, it’s the tiny pieces of knowing you are cared about that we cling to during those long dark teatimes of the soul.

So when you see them out, smiling, happy, laughing and just getting on with life – you’re a part of making that happen

Money Doesn’t Talk It Swears – Dylan Bootleg Series 12

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Out in early November in 2CD / 6 CD and 18CD editions – the cream, the trifle or the 18 course banquet with wafer thin mint of Zimmy’s 1965-1966 studio & I assume some live adventures.

I can see myself buying the 6 CD and “downloading” the 18 unless its really reasonable price. Which it won’t be. The full set is just a “copyright extension” kind of release I’m guessing

http://pitchfork.com/news/61338-bob-dylan-announces-latest-bootleg-series-installment-featuring-rarities-from-1965-66/

Made Up Jokes

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(with all credit to Dr Buckles)

Came up with this yesterday after encountering a road bearing the name Barnes Wallis.

“Just driven down Barnes Wallis Avenue and it was full of large sightseeing coaches getting in my way. Damn Bus Tours”

and this from a few years back when John Lydon nee Rotten started advertising butter on TV

“He’s only doing it cos Anchor is an energy”

Any gags that you’ve come up with of late that you wish to share?

Doctor Who takes the Mickey

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Very strong first outing today for the new Dr Who episodes.

Don’t want to spoil it – but this song is referenced by the brilliant Missy character and a dalek commands “maximum extermination”. Some other very, very cool bits too.

http://youtu.be/NW7VnHnX3LQ