I recall way back on this (or the other) site a very entertaining thread where Afterworders were asked to compose an additional verse to the Waterboys’ song “…and a Bang on the Ear”, ideally in the autobiographical spirit of the original. I propose a similar challenge but using the Half Man Half Biscuit song “Restless Legs”, as the template.

I have a five year old boy who recently seems unable to keep his legs still for more than a minute. As a result I’ve been sharing the song with my children a lot recently. On my commute to work this morning, I found my brain hard at work composing an additional verse that I’ll share in the comments. I thought it might be a fun challenge on here. Over to you contestants…