I know there are a few Pop Crazed Youngsters on here who follow the Chart Music Podcast (go here if you’re not already up to speed : https://chartmusiccouk.wordpress.com/) and one of the joys is hearing from the great Taylor Parkes, who for my money is the Peter Cook or Chris Morris of music criticism. He can shine a light on music he loves in glorious technicolor or as if describing an incredibly elaborate and delightful piece of machinery, but he’s also funny as f**k in an extraordinarily creative fashion when something doesn’t take his fancy. A few of my favourites:

Banksy: “Fatuous ruiner of Brick Walls”

Big Fun : “Human Sop…like someone has gone all out to find a group of lads as wetly Anglo Saxon and Custard-like as possible..plucked out of the ground in the dead centre of England, put into a cylinder and fired through the Barley… straight into a recording studio”

Laurie Lingo (aka Dave Lee Travis) “A goat’s arse that talks….I hope he jackknifes”

Shakin’ Stevens: “The perfectly spherical pebble at the centre of the universe, the rotation of which is used to set the intergalactic clocks. Say what you like about Shakin’ Stevens but » Continue Reading.