In plain view, right at the bottom of the page or screen or whatever we’re calling it:

“Its 2024 Get Over It”

Video’s, anyone? No, really. This is shameful.

Reading the pieces on Ian Lavender and Radio Four inspires the question: does comedy have a shelf life, a best-before date?

The Marx brothers are coming up to their 100th anniversary, and I still find them funny. The musical interludes have dated, but the gags remain lol-out-loud funny. The last time I tried to watch Fawlty Towers, popularly considered the GOAT at the time, I was more perplexed than amused – why are these people behaving like this? ‘Allo ‘Allo, hardly the subtlest of writing, still elicits a larf – in fact, more than it did at the time. But, surprisingly, The Goon Show now leaves me, if not cold, then only mildly warmed-over. Over the last few years I’ve become addicted, thanks to the Internet Archive, to the American radio shows of the forties and fifties – Jack Benny, Fibber McGee and Molly, Duffy’s Tavern, Phil Harris … but the older BBC shows just sound quaint.

Do stand-up comedians still stand up? Should we expect humour, such a hit-or-miss thing in the first place, to last forever?

Can we please ask everyone NOT to post video’s in your original posts (i.e. when you start a thread). Make your fascinating, funny and enlightening post and then add a first comment to it containing the mesmerising video you want to include.

SOME embedded video’s cause other posts to disappear from the Forum page. We know not why but it appears to be linked to video’s in first posts so please avoid. Rectifying the problem can be tricky if it’s not flagged quickly.

Your caring Mod Team

I think starting from the bottom of the list, and working up to my very favouritest sandwich 99 posts later, is perhaps the best way to curate this project. You’ll experience an almost palpable sense of tension as that coveted #1 spot gets closer! There’ll be surprises galore on the way – and contentious inclusions/exclusions should prove fodder for much robust debate!

Let’s get this historically important and authoritative list started with my Least Favourite Sandwich Of All Time!

#100 Marmite And Strawberry Jam On Retrieved Toast

Ingredients:

2x slices of week-old burnt toast retrieved from bottom of pedal bin

Marmite (pref with traces of marge) (Can’t be Vegemite as Vegemite doesn’t have the cojones to fight strawberry jam)

Off-brand Strawberry Jam (fruit count no higher than 30%, sugar higher than 50%)

Off-brand Margarine (or similar bright yellow spread, rock hard straight from the fridge)

Preparation:

– Shake off graveyard lettuce, coffee grounds etc. from toast (or not) – Hack at Yellow Spread with wrong knife (or fork) and smear shards across toast, picking up carbon deposits – 1x heaped teaspoon of Marmite dribbled, scraped, and mashed into carbonised Yellow Spread. Wipe off spoon with corner of toast – Using » Continue Reading.

AI is starting to be used for video/movie visuals. At this relatively early stage, as with still AI images, it’s the imperfections that mark it out as AI and look weird. But these glitches will be quickly sorted out, and clips like the astonishing “beer commercial” (which may just appear above) will become collector’s items, because the technology will have moved on to perfect renderings. In a shockingly short while, entire movies will be created by AI: scripted, acted, art directed, and photographed. And we’ll never be able to trust what we see and hear on/in the media ever again. Want security cam footage to show the police of a disliked neighbour trying to break into your home and threatening you with a gun ? Want a porn movie of your ex with a barnyard animal to post on soshul meeja? Some grainy hand-held camera clips of Israeli tanks rolling down Palestine streets? Just a few prompts away.

As in all these doomsday scenarios, the reality will probably be much worse than anything we can imagine. Cheers!

https://research.runwayml.com/gen2

Cartoon acrylic blankets, flip-flops, street food … anything?

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2023/07/22/britain-is-now-a-poor-nation-this-is-our-number-one-issue/

It’s such an improvement on the dreary plod of the original. Much to love here, from the spoken intro to the cheery (and mercifully brief) da-da-da- dardely-da coda.

(The album, a side project of genius producer Ted Templeton, has similarly fabulous versions of Light My Fire, and McArthur Park, amongst other iconic rock pop n’ roll classics.)

Before breakfast, I do a Killer Sudoku to get my brain working while I have a mug of instant to get my bowels working. There’s a certain amount of tension involved in getting the timing right.

I sneer at ordinary civilian Sudoku. A kids’ game. Wordle? Boring, undemanding, too much guesswork. Go to sudoku dot com, click “killer” in top menu bar, then “expert” in the difficulty menu. Keep an eye on the percentage of players who completed the puzzle. Keep clicking that bar until you see something in the mid fifties or higher. If you choose a level that’s too easy (and let’s not be modest, you’re pretty sharp) you’ll find the whole thing a waste of time. The challenge is the thing. There’s a beautiful logic to it, and you’ll feel stupidly proud of yourself for solving one. The games all play out like this:

1 Impossible. Can’t see anything. Pfft. 2 Oh wait … 3 Agonising mid-game slog 4 Orgasmic release as the numbers fall rapidly into place like dominoes, or something.

The 45 Rule is all over this, often in hidden combinations, and you need to understand the significance if innies and outies. You might need » Continue Reading.

I for one welcome the chill austerity of our new colour scheme!

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A recent study shows that your top five movies reveal your personality! Try this fun test at home!

… that the Diet of Worms (January-May 1521) was convened by Charles V, Holy Roman Emperor to address, among other issues, the works of the reformer Martin Luther (1483-1546) who openly criticised the Church. Luther was told to recant and, when he would not, was charged with heresy, marking his official break with the Church. “Who wants to eat worms?” he famously said from the Cathedral steps.

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Today we’ll be tackling the issue of Dietary Supplements! The expensive multi-vitamin, mineral, herb, and other pills and capsules that are supposed to compensate for a diet lacking in such. High Street franchises make millions from flogging them, but have you ever experienced any noticeable benefit from swallowing them? Experienced an improvement in any aspect of your life?

Full disclaimer: I may have benefitted from an increased immunity to colds while living in Europe from ingesting Vitamin C. May have. Difficult to tell, and it would be easy to persuade me they were placebos. But other vitamin and Magic Herb nostrums I’ve tried over the years have passed through my system with no effect other than wallet-thinning. Is the entire business a scam?

Dear Elizabeth Truss

First off, allow me to congratulate you on assuming the Premiership! I have every confidence you will pilot the Ship of State through the rough waters ahead to arrive at the Safe Harbour of economic stability!

You will of course be very busy at this time but I would if I may like to put one item “on the table” so to speak concerning Abuse of Internet Power by so-called “moderators” on established forums (fora?) who ride roughshod over the wishes of their diaspora in implementing unpopular and inappropriate “improvements” in a high-handed and authoritarian manner. I have in mind one particular “community” but refrain from naming it because this I’m sure is a pervasive abuse and to single out any individual web site might make this request seem petty whereas it is something that millions of people have to suffer.

To quote just one example – the “moderators” at the forum in question have recently imposed – without soliciting the wise counsel of well-established and respected “content providers” such as myself – an absolutely horrific colour scheme (brown and red!!!!???) which makes visits physically uncomfortable. And they refuse to do anything about it in spite of » Continue Reading.

Good Morning Britains!

“Heavily Armed Russian Navy Ships Sailing Between Britain And Ireland In a proactive move, a group of Russian Navy ships are currently entering the Irish Sea. There are clear indications that they will sail up and around the United Kingdom. Among other things, this might take them close to major submarine base of Faslane. Ultimately the route that they take may still be via the Atlantic or English Channel.

The group is led by the SLAVA class cruiser Marshal Ustinov. The UDALOY class destroyer Vice-Admiral Kulakov and a tanker, Vyazma, are with her (him)*”

[*note pronoun attentiveness – Ed.].

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http://www.hisutton.com/Ustinov-Cruiser-Uk-Passage.html

I for one applaud Team Mod’s bold new palette! There’s nothing quite like painting something brown to freshen it up! To celebrate their happy chromatic initiative, let’s have a KFD-style thread of All Things Brown!

Let’s get this dung beetle ball rolling with Frank Zappa, no stranger to brown love!

Coincidence? I think not!

Plenty more where this came from here: (*pastes link into box*)

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https://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

What’s with this ghastly new colour scheme? It’s given this august institution all the graphic dignity of a Bisto tin. Is there nobody amongst the mods who isn’t either colourblind or totally devoid of graphic skills? It’s an outrage. And – like Trump – NOTHING WILL BE DONE. We’re stuck with it.

As funny today as it was back then. And you can’t say that about much, can yer? Eh? EH?

https://commentisweird.tumblr.com/?soc_src=mail&soc_trk=ma

I found this sifting through my external drives, and if there’s one place it might be enjoyed, it’s here. My Dad became quite adept – in a quiet way – at cooking for himself, and wrote about it with as much enjoyment. He took the photographs, too. I did him a layout, which has become uglified in file conversion, and his achievement merits a little wider circulation.

Good appetite!

https://workupload.com/file/BrSfjkUd4Sx

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I know I take the Michael out of him something rotten, have been for years and years (can you remember his Nude Trampolining Camp, readers?), but he is a stalwart pillar of this community, a reliable content provider (unlike chiz, say – just a name pulled at random) who kept the Afterword flag flying – well, fluttering – during the Dark Ages, and whose good humour is a tonic in these terrible times. So please take a minute or so to attach a YewChewb clip you think he might enjoy, as a way of saying – “thanks, old chap!”

Done something recently that gives you small but significant pleasure? (Not that, Moose.) Some seemingly trivial action that creates a secret glow of satisfaction in a job well done? Something you wouldn’t brag about but feel that a little appreciation would be justified?

Example. I’d been struggling with a badly-designed frying pan for months. Handle too heavy, resulting in instability. So I sawed a couple of inches off it. Not as easy as it sounds, let me tell you! Very dense heat-proof plastic. Hacksaw. Holding pan secure while the work was done. Result? Complete success! Pan now sits securely on its base. Handle long enough to hold. The gratification seems out of proportion with the act. I didn’t reverse climate change, or learn to play Fairy Bells on the piano. I made a modest improvement that returns a private pleasure every day. I did a thing I’m mildly proud of.

There are other examples, but I’m sure you get the gist.

Help me here. I hadn’t heard of her, but there she is, apparently your next unelected Prime Minister! Anyone would think you were living in a Third World country!

She looks and sounds like a freaking nightmare, par for the course for your institutionally eternal Tory government, but does she have secret attributes tucked away? How are you wearing her? And does she have the cojones?

There’s a nice summation of what we know/don’t know here:

https://mobile.twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/1556798517208924164

(I used the box as well)

https://mobile.twitter.com/renato_mariotti/status/1556798517208924164