Richard Hawley (new album out the week after next) has lost two stone following the diet his father and grandfather ate. He says he never saw them eat crisps or chocolate. He still smokes and drinks.

I’ve just ordered a six pack of tins of Spam in order to achieve a six pack. I remember my dad eating Spam. Lots of it. And plenty of bacon, mostly in butties. Cheese, pickle, fish and chips on Friday, roast chicken plus two veg on Sunday. I remember him carving up oranges but not much else fruitwise. We had black pudding in the house but I can’t picture him eating that. Oh yes, almost forgot, liver and onions and kidneys with mushrooms. Stew, cottage pie, pies of various sorts. Pea and ham soup. Mmm. He, too, loved his cigarettes and alcohol.

I reckon I’ll get to a hundred on this regime, even though my dad died in his fifties.