These are great: http://dangerousminds.net/comments/how_your_pretentious_local_record_store
Anyone have some of their own?
Stories from the music retail front line.
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Musings on the byways of popular culture
More, with a Dundonian flavour, here:
http://www.grouchos.co.uk/Dinna-ask.html
“Do I have to pay you to buy them?”
Didn’t know Beany lived in Dundee….
Steady Eddy. I come here often. and I’m wearing Hai Karate.
Arrrghhh! my eyes!
Ah Grouchos, I remember it well. Used to pass it twice daily on my way to and from the art school in my 3rd and 4th years when it was on the Perth Rd.
Bought me some autographed SKIDS 7 inchers out of there.
Excellent.
That was meant for Brucefield. Bloomin’ tablet.
That’s brilliant.
Twenty years behind the counter, man and boy, and some of these ring painfully true.
I once served H out of Steps. He wanted one of that week’s new releases. The one by Steps. On cassette single.
To be fair, Freddie Jackson Anthropology sounds like the kind of group Colin H would like.
Like them? I was IN them, you dolt!
I could go on about various mispronunciations and general wrong ideas for ages, but then I’d hate to think there was a GP forum somewhere where they were all laughing at my attempts to say pneumosilicosis, so I shall restrain myself to my first day managing in Plymouth. There I was walking around, feeling pretty good about running a store in my old hometown after a few years of wandering, when I saw my first customer. Aha, I thought, there is one of my proud Plymouth bethren, I’ll help him find what he wants. It’s for my son, he says, I wrote it down, and he pulls out a bit of paper and shows it to me. It says “the one with a nigger in a baseball cap on the front”. Gulp.
so I used my record store ninja skills to sell him a copy of The Chronic, and retired wounded to the office, looking forward to a future of casual racism. I’ve lived in places that were proper music towns, with a savvy and switched on customer base that you could have great conversations with. Plymouth wasn’t one of them. It was all ‘ard ‘ouse and Bonkers, bleddy dreadful.
That was painfully funny! Thanks Mini!
Heh at Kid Dynamite!
Hilarious! I was crying with laughter.
However, “Do you just buy the vinyl or the music?” is quite the philosophical question, considering taping kills the music industry.
….and a question for someone who is buying a heavyweight vinyl reissue of something they’ve already bought twice on CD…. and on vinyl before that.
I really like the idea of “Aryan Neville”. It suggests a whole hidden universe of white-supremacist soul tribute acts (fairly confused ones, obviously).
Whitey Robinson and The Miracles
The Supreme(Race)s
Little Stevie Himmler
er… (someone else can almost certainly improve on these lunch hour suggestions…)
(… you’ve really missed me, right…?)
How about
Kool And The Klan
all I’ve got for now!
Bunkerdelic?
Earth, Wind unt Fuhrer
Eichmann Tina Turner
The Heil-Lites
Unter den Linden David Hall
Gauleiter The World
Earth, Blood and Fire
Barry White
Tina Turner Diaries
Treblinka 182
Session bass legend Carol Kaye Kaye Kaye
Neo-Nazi Clash tribute act: Combat 88 Rock
Sensitive anti-migrant balladeer and Aimee Mann consort: Michael Le Pen
Charlie Coons, have I gone too far?
I picked up a couple of LPs today from a market stall that at one time were on sale at Haggle Vinyl in Islington, a record shop whose closure, perhaps uniquely, was celebrated. My favourite story was from a customer who overheard the owner say to another customer “what do you want to buy that shit for?”
There are a few other funny comments about it on Twitter
You’re right of course, Alias. But I suspect that there are some masochistic individuals who get perverse pleasure who get a perverse pleasure from being berated by record shop staff for their pitiful ignorance.
The sort of super-hip staff mentioned in the OP.