So I said to Elton John:
“Elton – you’ve written some wonderful music in your time. How would you describe the feeling you get when you’ve put the finishing touches to a song, and you just know it’s a classic? Is it a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly? Is it the first ray of sunlight on a new morning? Is it a young rabbit bounding across an open meadow?”
Elton sat back on his piano stool, pondered for a few seconds, then replied:
“It’s a little fit bunny…”
Not bad !
Thanks, you’re too kind!!
My excuse is that I’ve just been to see Tim Vine, master of the painfully contrived pun/spoonerism/mishearing, experimenting with material for his upcoming tour. I’ll give you some idea… “Nice socks I tried. Really made me laugh. Oh sorry, I mean nitrous oxide.” See what I mean?
The Elton one was mine and mine alone, but “inspired” by the Vine experience.
I did post one on another post on here regarding exploding airbags on Subarus.
Someone asked if they were the same as the Nissan Maindealer.
I started that Nissan Maindealer is my favourite Specials song.
I am here all week.
I’ve literally only just got the joke.
I wasn’t here last week (clearly).
I set ’em up, you knock ’em in.
Oh, don’t get me wrong. I notice it on the thread (and the approval) but just didn’t get it at the time.
I have developed a tick where I spontaneously burst in Elton John songs. Some people find it annoying, but I hope you don’t mind I hop you don’t mind
Someone threw an Elton John record at me.
I know Saturday Night is alright for fighting, but that could’ve broken my heart
No harm done, I’m still standing.
And they didn’t even apologise – sorry seems to be the hardest word
I haven’t thought of the jokes, but the punchlines are ‘don’t let your son go down on me’ and ‘can you feel me up tonight?’
I wish he’d actually recorded “Sandals in the Bin” for Mother Teresa. I heard that joke at the same time as hearing the news – which proves that a good joke moves quickly, with or without Twitter.
Elton’s been translating several of his songs into Hindi for a Bollywood production. Sari seems to be the hardest word.
I was sat in a bar on holiday in Phuket when an Elton John song came on. A local suddenly jumped onto my legs and started doing an elaborate routine. The barman said “Don’t worry sir, she’s just a Thai knee dancer”.
I remember seeing The Stone Roses at Spike Island, when they famously did an Elton John cover. Ian Brown threw his hat into the air, and they launched into Kangol In The Wind.
The fans tore it to pieces when it landed and Ian yelled “Don’t Go Breaking My Hat”
And of course he didn’t really want it by then, what with it being a Shonky Hat.
Elton had a raging hunger for a Fray Bentos, and had even heard of a place where hundreds of them are stored.
He turned to David and said, “Take me to the pie lot!”
Elton was generally skeptical about the Berlin records of Iggy Pop. But though he didn’t rate Sister Midnight and Lust for life, he wouldn’t deny The Passenger.
I wanna get off…
I’d attempt a joke about a madman across the water, but the reality would trump it.
I was once invited to an Elton John-themed party. I was puzzled because the only people there was a brummie wearing a bobble hat (who was a bit slow on the uptake) – and the “I Love Rock & Roll!” hitmaker and her family. Confused, I made my excuses and left.
It took me a while…
Agreed. Far too cerebral.
Birmingham’s answer to Mike Nesmith he was not.
I remember seeing a young Elton at a CSN & Y aftershow party many years ago. After hours of drink, drugs and what have you, the band each announced what their current state was. ‘I’m Young, tottering’ said Neil. ”I’m Crosby, collapsing’ declared Dave. ‘I’m Nash, swaying’ said Graham. And proudly, triumphantly, Steven got to his feet and declared ‘I’m Stills, standing!’
I spent the whole of my first hour at work today trying to find Elton John puns, at the expense of getting quite a lot of admin done. It was no sacrifice at all.
I’m still struggling to think of any Elton jokes. I’ve only thought of one which is a little bit funny.
It may well take a long long time.
Strictly speaking shouldn’t these be Bernie Taupin puns and “So I said to Bernie Taupin….”
“So how do you like Taupin?”
“I don’t know, I’ve never Tauped before”
Coat gotten, gone.
To the tune of NTNOCN’s ‘I like Trucking’:
I like Taupin
I like Taupin
I like Taupin
And I like to Taup
I like to phonetically spoonerise vowels as well as consonants, sometimes whole syllables.
Every Saturday I lie my truck and buy a couple of tittery lockets. I always go for the lippy ducks. You never know, I might whack the gin-pot.
It used to amuse me (and practically nobody else) to say to kids leaving our kids’ birthday parties, ‘Don’t forget your baggy parts.’
I like it!!
I’ve just realised that ‘Rock of the Westies’ is a spoonerism.
Doh!
‘Wock of the Resties’? ‘Rest Of The Wockies’? Nah, don’t geddit 😉
Me neither!
Do explain @salwarpe
I think it might be “West of the Rockies”.
What does the fox 🦊 say?
The truth (according to Wikipedia)
Oh. Feel a little bit dim.
Don’t! I only just got it. All I could think of was – is he trying to look like a West Highland Terrier on the cover?
My comment was in jest, of course – hence the winky thing.
It’s like Tony Blackburn is in the room with us.
No sorry, don’t get it.
I’ll have a crack. I was watching Wizard of Oz but then decided I would turn it off and listen to my favourite Elton song instead (I think you’re ahead of me – no it isn’t called that). So it was goodbye yellow brick road.
I’ve just ordered Elton a crate of pens for autograph signing purposes. He was understandably a bit anxious about quality control. He said, “It’d better not be a huge consignment of dirt-cheap ballpoints.” I said, “No, the batch is Bic.”
Have an up! This is hamper-winning material, but it’s early days, and a Dairylea Triangle will have to suffice for now.
It’s just that what the OP most reminds me of is the Blackburn habit of trailing a song with an anecdote to which the first line of the song is the final line.
This all brings to mind the gambling scandal a few years ago, when the legendary racehorse training family, the Pitmans, were reckoned to be up to no good. I’ll never forget when I heard about Jenny and the bets.
A few years ago, Elton John & Billy Joel were doing a big double-header tour.
One night Billy was really off his game, his voice was shot & he was mucking up even his biggest songs, until a fan jumped up from the crowd and led the audience in a big singalong.
As Elton commented Someone saved ‘My Life’ tonight.
Elton John was not allowed as a child to eat any kind of cream cheese. Now he’s all grown up he has complete Philadelphia freedom.
I used to be an ice cream man and one day I went down the cul de sac where Elton lives. He came running out excitedly, waving a fiver, when he heard my music.
“What have you got? I’m very rich you know, so I can buy anything I want!”.
“We’ve got all kinds here – funny feet, Zoom, Orange, Woppas, Lemon, Fruju, Mivi, Magnum…”
“I’m more of a Rocket man myself”. He said.
Which was good news for Fat Larry’s Band.
I remember a few years ago, when Elton decoded to get rid of all his hardcopy books and get them all on an electronic device instead. His accountant made a note of the purchases, in case they were tax deductible. Unfortunately, not long after this, there was a fire at Elton’s mansion which caused devastation. His accountant still had a record of the purchase, though, and managed to make a claim to the revenue, as the kindle burnt out long before the ledger ever did.
UpUpUp
Elton’s going to do a special covers record – one side will have songs by Jeff Lynn’s band, the other will have hits from Adele, Lionel Ritchie, Shakespear’s Sister, the Beatles, and then one of his old classics.
So it’s going to be:
ELO, Hello, Hello, Hello (Turn The Radio On), Hello Goodbye, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road