For the last ten years @Hannah has popped up in late December to ask us all how the year has been for each of us. Sadly she hasn’t been around the site for a while so I guess she won’t be asking it this year. So allow me to step in and ask for your reflections on 2018. And what are your hopes and plans for 2019?
And if Hannah and some of the others who have been away happen to pick this up, it would be lovely to hear from you – your voices here are missed.
And to kick us off, here’s my two penn’orth
2018 was a pretty, er, strong and stable year in the BB household. Nothing dramatic, no major life events, but overall a positive year. Work has been really great – a few big highlights and pretty much everything we did came off well. That said I suspect 2019 may be a whole lot rougher, not least because of the shot state I suspect our economy is going to be in.
No big holidays this year but a number of great weekends with friends and family around the country. As I get older, those relationships seem to matter more and more. A couple of days ago I and my siblings were at the funeral of a beloved uncle. It was sad of course, but there was pleasure too in the fact that he had had a very long and good life, and in particular in catching up with some cousins I hadn’t seen in some cases since we were kids.
Our two daughters who’ve been home for Christmas continue to make their ways in their lives- they’ve both had big years in their working lives and have done brilliantly. It is incredibly tough for their generation I think (they’re in their twenties) but they seem happy.
Politically and globally of course it’s a catastrophe. Have we ever known a time like this? Has the calibre of our politicians ever been so low? I don’t think so, and given the challenges we face that can only be deeply worrying. Let’s hope for better in 2019. But it’s hope rather than expectation.
2018. The year I got married to Sharon. So, for that reason alone a good year. We roadtripped down to Austin, picking Chris my son up along the way. Time with family and then roadtripped back, checking off famous songplaces and birthplaces. She then left me for 4.5 months, but that’s a whole different story.
I worked for three different companies, all at my own behest, and am really happy at where I am.
My son is going through challenging circumstances at home with his Mom, but bearing up with grace and humor.
Concerts and shows, we done ’em. But my big takeaway, as it must be this year, is how lucky I am to live with such an accomplished and wonderful woman who accepts me the way that she does. Our wedding was a life affirming experience, as was the road trip. Her statement to me that our aim must be to be happy to be together, and everything else comes second, including income and earnings. Options could include us moving, working part time, whatever. The freedom that her statement gave me was so loving and freeing, I can’t begin to tell you.
I also managed to snag breakfast with Hannah when she was in D.C. and it was every bit the experience I thought it would be.
Pretty good I suppose. I remain employed after a takeover meaning we went from a small Canadian firm to a large American one. Some readjustment, but probably better than what the alternative would have been. With a reduced work force the workload has been very high, long days, weekends etc. At my age (56) would prefer to be winding down.
Healthwise, as a sufferer from Crohn’s Disease I am in the best place I have been in many years. At my last check up the specialist walked in after observing my blood work results and said “You are so boring”, meaning he couldn’t find much wrong with me. Always need to be vigilant though.
Want to page another missing female @drakeygirl and her Chubby Checkers project. I put on weight this year, my discipline has not been as it was. I did run 3 10km races, being very close to a PB in one of them, and struggling relatively in the others. Not quite the same enthusiasm to hit the icey, snowy sidewalks that are inevitable at this time of the year. In Jan will attempt to get back to the regime I started 2 years ago which helped me lose almost 30 lb.
No. 1 aim for 2019 is to find a way to spend more time with my 12 yr old daughter. Getting on reasonably with my ex, but the current physical distance (130km) between myself and my daughter can be problematic especially as she is finding friends more and more important meaning that sometimes plans that have been made are cancelled or curtailed. Also hope to make the 3 day (leisurely) drive to the East coast (Prince Edward Island) again next summer with her.
Was a pretty good year for gigs and music, probably most gigs in a year that I have seen in about 5 years. Will try to continue that in 2019, a girlfriend would be nice, but we will see …
(Wonder what I wrote this time last year)
How could I forget? The absolute highlight of 2018 has to be meeting the legendary @Tiggerlion in Liverpool last summer!
Surely seeing Paul McCartney must have capped our meeting, a pleasure though it was.
All the best to you, dai. I hope 2019 works out well for you and your daughter.
We should have met 2 weeks later on the day he played The Cavern, would then have been the ultimate day 😉
Thanks! Same to you and your family.
They don’t all have to be landmark years do they? As much as I think of anything that will make this year stand out, I can’t. We had a couple of nice holidays. No major family health problems. No changes in our jobs. No new cars. We overdid it in 2017 so it was nice to spend a bit of ‘us time’.
2019 will start in a way it never has for me before, on holiday in the US, so who knows what next year will bring.
Not too bad overall.
Work wise it’s been challenging – executive decisions to move my development from nearby to Singapore to Thailand, unrealistic bring up plans on another product and a completely new technology all coming together could have created a perfect storm. However the team have pulled it off pretty much (with me spending most of the year dealing with the shit from execs). With the slow down in global technology markets, I fear next year will be looking at cost savings with the inevitable challenges on headcount. I’m at the point where probably 8 years from retirement, I may actually want the package myself (I would get 2 years salary). We’ll see what transpires…..
Family wise, all very happy and rosy with no health issues or any other major concerns. Kids are both one year out from major exams (IB for eldest and O levels for youngest) and have successfully got though this year, whilst managing to appear to do very little work. I think we will have to push them a little next year….
We had a good trip back to UK in the summer along with a couple of smaller trips (being in Singapore is great for short trips to SE Asia). Next year we will skip the big trip in the June holidays due to the kids impending exams, so it’ll likely be a short trip in March and then the big trip in end Nov / Dec when they finish – Japan for skiing is a good chance although Wife would love to go back to Iceland (or Scandinavia) to see the northern lights (we missed it last time).
Music wise it’s been pretty good – I’ve probably spent far too much, but there’s been some good new music and a few good gigs. Hopefully that will continue into 2019.
Wishing you all a very Happy and successful New Year.
A tough year with career and family struggles for me and my other half. But we’re still standing, individually and together, with shows some resilience after the trials of 2018.
There have been some huge highlights (her daughter graduated and has launched her career, and couple of great holidays, my mortgage is paid off so for the first time since I was 18 I don’t have to worry about keeping a roof over my head), and when I put together a best of 2018 photo set to match a 3 minute song I was spoilt for choice for moments in a year which was full of sunshine, love and amazing things.
Best of/worst of, as my increasingly doppelgänger chum Chas Dickens once said. Best of as in became a Granpa, courtesy my daughter who, after a decade of false starts has truly found her vocation is to be a mum. Cripes, it is just as amazing a feeling as people say. Worst as in stepdter, who lives with us, had a stroke the day ahead of her birthday in February. Whilst ultimately a good functional recovery, the shadow of exhaustion has lingered long and hard over her. Zillions of tests and scans with still no cause found for a 23 year old to have had 7 clots in her head. It meant we had to cancel earlier best laid travel plans for Mrs Path and I to celebrate her 60th, but Cornwall and (as now) Northumberland have been wonderful breaks. We celebrate (ha!) the anniversary of the stroke with a trip to Glasgow for Burns Night and Niteworks @ Celtic Connections next month. My son has closed his restaurants in London and moves to Malmo in March; he and I are planning a road trip to get him there, Harwich/Amsterdam/Bremen/Odense, finally taking in Malmo’ s near twin city of Copenhagen as well.
Hope to get a couple of festivals in this summer but feel my tenting days may be slipping away slowly, too many uncomfortable inflatable mattresses and too much standing.
Lucky enough to both have a job and a pension. (BTW, it isn’t even as if I am keeping someone out of a job; nobody seems to want to do my job these days……)
If you are in Glasgow on the 27th, a show that I pretty much devised is on at Celtic Connections at The Tron. “The Bairns o’ Blythman” – celebrating Morris’s centenary year. Some of the people he worked with – Jimmie MacGregor (88 and in great form), Alastair McDonald and other auldies and some of the younger generation including Iona Fyfe (21, I think, and just won Singer of the Year in some poll).
Pretty much the oldest and the youngest professional folkies on the same bill.
https://www.glasgowlife.org.uk/event/1/the-bairns-o-blythman
Saw Iona Fyfe at the Colindale Folk Club in November. Mostly unaccompanied singing but she accompanied herself on piano for one and sang a duet of Michael Marra’s “Take Me Out Drinking” with a local Scottish expat (who also played guitar) that was a rather special closer.
She’s a very talented singer, well worth seeking out.
Her 2018 album “Away From My Window” is a good’un.
@Jorrox: actually will be not that far away that very night, but that is the same night as Niteworks at Barrowlands. Burns Night we are at the Finnieston for an early tea; uncertain but hopeful I can wangle Shooglenifty later on, again at Barrowlands
Cool – enjoy.
The House of Song across from the main Concert Hall is on at the weekends for a late night sing. Depending on how much gear I need to haul, I plan to be there on 27th. It’s a good way to close the day.
Overall a pretty good year. Starting with the naff stuff. I have had type 2 diabetes for about 5 or 6 years. It has been well regulated with Meds and hasn’t caused me any problems whatsoever. Until February of this year – sudden raging thirst, frequent peeing. I lost around 12lbs in weight in a relatively short period of time. A blood test discovered my blood sugar levels had nearly doubled.
A change in medication quickly addressed the matter and happily now back to normal. Unfortunately nearly all the weight I lost has now been put back on.
Now for happier things – we had a great holiday in Croatia with friends in June – the strange highlight being the sinking of a rental motorboat – I was the captain so had to take the blame and copious piss taking from my wife and friends. It was hairy for a short while.
My wife and I had an excellent holiday in Cape Town and the surrounding area – a truly wonderful country with fantastic food and wine but also tremendous scenery.
Our Daughter went to University in London in August and is really enjoying life in the Capital to the extent where she has said it is unlikely she will return to Lichfield. We miss her very much but it gives us the excuse to go to London more frequently. However she came home for Christmas with her boyfriend but whilst it was great for 3 or 4 days the return to tranquillity when they went back was also welcome.
Another milestone this year was finally reaching a situation where I have no credit card debt.
I made a conscious decision to be debt free in order to cover my daughters accommodation costs.
It is somewhat liberating.
Not sure what 2019 will bring but have a holiday planned in Romania in May with the friends we went to Croatia with. No boating on the cards.
Also booked for Cambridge Folk Festival, a week in Scotland with my wife’s German cousin and her husband and on Wednesday we are off to Stockholm for a short break.
An odd year where a lot seems to have happened, yet (perhaps because of those events) it has flown by.
My partner has a long-term serious health condition which means that relapses are always round the corner. It is not (yet) life-threatening but it is disabling enough that I am on standby at all times with a degree of anxiety constantly chugging away in my mind. Our son has high- functioning autism; he’s a happy chap with a sharp sense of humour but as he gets older his needs are becoming more apparent and so it’s unclear what the medium to long-term future will bring. Still, I know more about the finer details of ‘Monster Hunter World’ which helps to keep me in touch with the young people. (“Can you look up how to find shrooms? And unlock alcohol?” Uhm….)
My mother continues to decline, which is distressing (especially given that she is 300 miles away) so I have become part of the sandwich generation shuttling between an ageing parent and a small child.
This means that significant paid work is out but I give voluntary legal advice to parents on behalf of the National Autistic Society; it keeps my brain ticking over and is (hopefully) useful. Parents are stuck between an excellent legal framework and schools/local authorities who have no money; so expectations are (rightly) raised with little chance of the educational provision being put in place in too many cases. Which is extremely difficult to deal with and hard to find solutions without going to Tribunal.
I took up photography solely for fun and is an outlet for my meagre artistic skills. It’s pushed out music almost entirely, which is a shame; that said , I wasn’t keeping up anyway. Podcasts, books and news have taken up what remains of my spare time with the bonus of rediscovering a bit of political fire, which is quite energising.
That all sounds depressing but I actually feel ok. I turn 50 in 2019 which seems ridiculous- how did that happen? I hate to be cheesy but I really am very glad to still be here and fit and well when so many others are not. This is my life now; there is no alternative fantasy life out there, so I try to find enjoyment in the smaller things. (I did warn you about the cheese.)
The challenge for 2019 is how to deal with the cognitive dissonance between being 25 in your head yet looking in the mirror and realising you are properly, properly middle-aged now and really should be a grown-up.
2019 goals- see friends more, a trip to the US, get out in green space, and try to enjoy things more whilst I can.
Health goals – to stay fit. I have gone from wanting a six-pack to making sure that my joints and bones are ok and that I can get on and off the toilet unaided in years to come. More muscle would be nice but I have to accept that the Ms. Olympia title is beyond me.
Happy New Year to you and yours. I hope to pop in here more often. I am glad this place exists although I’m sorry to see the departure of familiar names- hello and best wishes to you all, if you’re out there.
That sounds really tough Ruby, glad to see you are managing to remain positive.
Thanks, Twang, appreciated. There’s an ongoing hum of anxiety broken with the occasional crisis but this is how it will be for quite a while, I guess. I just have to find bites of time and small things for myself, which seems to stop me from going bonkers. 🙂
HNY to you and all.
Kids, parents, and partners, eh Ruby? Sources of such joy and such worry, each of them. My daughters are in their late 20s and I still swerve constantly between overbearing pride In them and hopeless parental worry. Hope you and yours have a good 2019.
Yes, I suspect I will spend the rest of my life doing the pride/worry swerve. My mistake was thinking that life would get easier as I got older; I think the trick is to lower one’s expectations. 🙂
Same to you- all the best to you and your family for 2019.
I think the phrase is “Manage your expectations”! Take that approach and you can raise or lower at will….and lower even further when necessary.
It was quite a year.
Took early retirement, at age 55, on the stroke of midnight 31st December (thank you taxpayers!).
Didn’t have much time to enjoy it before some major surgery (planned) in January. I had my spinal cord de-tethered. it was necessary but was also more complicated than anticipated. Recovery time has been slow – I’m still regaining mobility, even now. And the good news is that I’m still regaining mobility, even now…
Managed to keep up my university course though. I’m retraining to be a counsellor and I love it. You really can teach an old dog new tricks.
Hoping that 2019 will be less of a rollercoaster than 2018.
Been quite a big year in the thep family.
In April my daughter gave birth to twins, Lucas and Sylvie. They were tiny little grubs at first, of course, but they’ve grown into the most adorable pair of charmers you’ve ever seen in your life (official). Among their many virtues is their ability to make us laugh, often.
In March my son went off on a mid-life crisis backpacking tour of South America, starting in Sao Paolo and ending up there 8 months later having taken in every country except Argentina and Peru, and managing a quick hop to the Galapagos too. He’s now back, and in one piece too, looking lean and fit and sporting a man bun. He has no job, but hey…he has a new nephew and niece to occupy his time. He also needs to update his blog, which was going great guns until he suddenly stopped several countries short of his final destination. https://microlambert.wordpress.com/2018/01/11/the-first-post/
I, of course, continue to live on two continents while simultaneously trying to live with my wife (and keep my Oz permanent residency going) and doing my grandpa duty. It works, sort of – I’m leading a solitary existence in Folkestone and going to London 2 days a week, while jetting off to Oz for 3/4 months at a time (to have my ankles bitten by my nearly 2-year-old step-grandson). Mrs thep came over to Blighty for a couple of months, so we spend roughly half the year together and half apart.
Meanwhile, of course, the country’s gone completely to shit.
Which one? (Country)
Hard to tell sometimes, but mostly I mean the country of my birth, land of my fathers etc.
2018 = my first ever proper, serious illness. Dang! And it’s here to stay (unless it gets worse). NF2, it’s called. It’s a bit of a bummer cos I always assumed I was invincible, immune, eternal and immortal. Thank god I still have my looks.
But we ARE immortal aren’t we? Oh shit….
I’ll have to get back to you on that one (but it may take a while).
As in neurofib 2? No clues in the family history or spontaneous mutation?
Yep. Spontaneous. But hopefully not aggressive (on account of me being so ancient when first tumors appeared). Only symptoms for now are mild deafness and tinnitus, which seem pretty stable. It’s kind of odd being “ill” but feeling fine! Doc says do another MRI in September.
That’s the spirit. Illness is just a state of mind. I hope you and your medical condition remain well together for a very long time.
Thanks Tiggs.
It’s been okay for me. Nothing much to really complain of, though I’m frustrated at not having found enough time to write my book on Big Pete Deuchar. I think 2019 needs to start with some writing (and consciously setting aside the load of research materials still to be trawled through, needle-in-haystack-like).
Well this year has been pretty shocking for me. It turns out I have more in common with Angelina Jolie than just big lips. I also have the faulty BRCA gene but in my case I found out after I got the BRCA related cancer, not before. I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March, in both breasts, one side a large invasive tumour, the other side cancer which would have turned nasty sooner or later. I think the cancer had been there a while. Had a double mastectomy and node removal in April. It had spread to some lymph nodes. Then had more scans, CT, bone, and 2 lots of MRI and was referred on to specialist hospital.
In June at my first oncology appointment they told me the cancer had metastasized to a couple of spinal bones. However the consultant was against giving me chemo as she thought I was too ill to cope with it, given my pre-existing conditions. Was so relieved as I totally agreed with her. I had 5 days high dose radiotherapy in July and am on hormone treatment to control the cancer and on bone strengthening medication. The tumour was hormone receptive which was good as I do not think I can cope with future chemo – the side effects from the hormone and bone drug are tough enough as it is.
So Secondary Breast Cancer is not where I thought I would be this time last year. But there are a variety of hormone drugs to try when the one I am on stops working, which will happen at some stage. I understand you get so many months or years from a treatment, then there is “progression” (bad) and you have to change treatment, until you run out of treatments that work or are too ill to withstand them. People with my diagnosis can go on for some time, even quite a few years, so I am in no imminent danger. The future will be regular scans to check on things and a lot of uncertainty. It has obviously caused a lot of emotional upset and thoughts of mortality and next year I am going to get my affairs in order even though this may be way ahead of time. Sometimes it’s hard to believe all this has really happened and that I have been through so much these past months.
I have been greatly cheered by my friends on and off the blog who have been extremely supportive and kind throughout, keeping in touch, sending cards and flowers, and also my family who come to medical appointments with me. I have to travel in an ambulance and have got to know the ambulance men very well, who are great characters and take good care of me. Also I need never wear a bra again which is something of a liberation! The best thing for me next year would to remain “stable” or “Stable Mabel” in cancer-forum lingo. At this stage I have no plans to adopt any stray orphans, or marry Brad Pitt.
Sorry to read that, Caroline. We are in the wars, you and I! “The future will be regular scans to check on things and a lot of uncertainty.” Yep, I know that feeling. I find it all a bit surreal, and am scared of losing my independence, but I hope I’ll be able to face any new developments as just another new chapter in my life. Challenging, perhaps (which is not a word I would use to describe my life so far!). My very best wishes to you.
Jeez, sorry to read that.
I was about to embark on a navel gazing “oo I’ve had a bad time” post, but not sort of lakes in comparison.
All the best to you
correction (apologies – autocorrect)
.. but now sort of pales in comparison.
Sorry to hear, sad to read. Dislike that cancer bastard big time. Affairs in order is such a chilling phrase. Stay stable.
Thanks v much Retro and Rigid, much appreciated.
Thanks and my best wishes to you too Gary. It is all pretty surreal, as you say. One moment at a time, as someone said to me recently.
Just catching up here. That sounds traumatic Carolina. I had a nasty scare this year which gave me the wobbles so I cannot begin to imagine what you’re going through. All I can do is lamely pass on best regards and virtual hug and hope things stay positive.
Such a graceful post, Carolina. I hope your family and friends sustain you for a very long time to come. Plus all that beautiful, uplifting music you love.
Many thanks for your kind words, Twang and Tigg. Since the autumn I’ve also been having some counselling support which has definitely helped me cope too.
So sorry to hear this Carolina – that sounds awful and it’s inspiring to read how you’re dealing with it. All the best for 2019. I believe Brad Pitt May be available.
Many thanks and all the best to you too. If Brad is still off the booze he is a definite contender!
On 2nd January I saw a consultant at the Royal Devon and Exeter Hospital…probably nothing, but we will do an MRI scan just in case…after that and a biopsy (not fun), I was told I had prostate cancer. That has pretty much defined the year in many ways…an op in April and then recovery. I’m pretty good now, although some after effects linger. Seems things are catching up with me…I also injured my hamstring behind the knee in October which has stopped me playing tennis, and also dental problems have multiplied which means I now have my first little denture. Growing old is a bastard sometimes, but better than the alternative I guess! I also lost a young family member to an aggressive cancer (she was 31, poor girl) and also a friend to brain cancer.
I have become a bit of a nuisance raising money for Prostate Cancer UK and also volunteering at the hospital supporting blokes who are going through what I did.
So…as with Carolina and others above, it has been a year of coming to terms with the fact that I actually probably won’t go on forever…..but I intend to try.
On the upside, we went to Croppers again and will again next year. I still do the radio twice a week, listen to as much music as is humanly possible, and I have wonderful friends and kids and the ever patient Mrs. T, luckily want for nothing, so life is good.
Shame about the shitstorm that is coming next year.
“That has pretty much defined the year in many ways” – yes I can really identify with that. All the best with your continued recovery and very well done on the money-raising and volunteering to support other men in your situation. There is nothing like the experience of someone who has “been there” to help people coming to terms with diagnosis, ops and treatment.
All power to your elbow, Nigel.
Tell me, how can I tune in to your radio show?
Sorry you’ve been through so much last year Nigel – hope the recovery continues apace in 2019
Personally, 2018 started on a low, got a bit better, but still nowhere near my fighting weight
(a proper crisis of confidence has been snapping away for a couple of years, by the end of last year I was convinced that I’m not actually needed in this world).
Things have got better, bits of confidence have improved, and it has not stopped me making fatuous comments on here or other internet entities.
By the summer I was feeling like I’m finally getting somewhere, and then (and this was the wrong reaction) my daughter informed me I would be a Grandad in 2019, and this knocked me backwards again (it took long enough to get used to being a father – how long will the Grandad thing take?).
But … I’ve got it now, and with perspective I’m 2 years older than my dad was when he got the call. Yes, I’m concerned/worried about how she will cope (low paying job, no house, no real prospects or desire to do anything else but be a mum …), but it’s another adventure (just hope I can get my brain sorted to act to support her properly)
On the up-side:
I finally got to see John Lydon at the third attempt in a small sweaty club gig, and saw Madness for the 10th time (in pure music snobbery fashion – I was overjoyed they played older album tracks (especially Rise and Fall), and enjoyed watching the audiences blank faces …)
Did some more of my new hobby (walking the Streets of London) – done lots of South and East London areas. Interesting to just wander (and possibly the only real exercise I get).
Stuff I learned – I can no longer drink booze in the afternoon, and eating a big meal at lunchtime just causes massive indigestion pains
Summary – I’m still here, still upright, still annoying, getting my confidence back, and the eternal optimist in me says Tomorrow’s Just Another Day
Rigid, you’re exactly the same age as me and I feel we are brothers in arms. Have a good 2019.
Brothers in arms as opposed to sultans of swing?
I’m not planning any twisting by the pool though.
I had a similar oh-my-God-I-can’t-be-grandad crisis. However, I’m settling nicely into the role. One small worry is that no grandfather lives for long in my family. I’m planning on bucking the trend.
Should I be buying beige courdoroy slacks and Werther’s Originals, or introducing the ankle biter to the wonders of The Ramones and Iron Maiden (and the Barron Knights) as soon as possible.
Also, when should they be taught the importance of alphabeticising and list construction?
I think it’s a grandfather’s duty to pass on any and all kinds of ‘wisdom’ as early as possible.
I’m sure you’ll love the Grandad thing Rigid! Meantime, ‘I can no longer drink booze in the afternoon, and eating a big meal at lunchtime just causes massive indigestion pains’ is surely a (admittedly somewhat wordy) AW T-shirt.
Thank you for asking, Blue Boy. Had a good year (I think). Work’s tough as we deal with cuts in the NHS- Because of financial cuts we get to deal with problems we otherwise wouldn’t deal with, which leads to working with clients who aren’t being properly catered for. Sorry. Hopefully things will improve in the new year (magically).
Meanwhile, Mrs. Paws and I did a 40 mile walk back in May. 20 miles there, an overnight stop and 20 miles back again. Not much for some (our friends are ultra runners), but felt massive to us and probably the biggest thing I’ve ever done. Mrs. Paws goes for her first marathon in October.
Spent more money than we should’ve, and we are now dealing with buying a ransom strip at the back of our garden (not cheap, it turns out) but in comparison we are all healthy and happy. Mini paws has been the top reader in her class for two terms running (she gets that from her mum, but I’m very proud).
I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous new year. Thanks for having us.
Big year for me. Started a new job on Jan 8th having spent 16 years at my previous place, albeit in different roles in that time. I’ve joined a fantastic team, it’s hard work but it’s so nice to be in a different environment after so long. We got taken over in August, but it feels like a benevolent takeover rather than the predatory kind (we’re a small company, the new owners see potential in us and are looking to expand rather than ‘streamline’) so my job feels safe.
In March my wife and I had our first baby – we’re not planning on another – and he’s everything I could have wanted. 9 months in he’s healthy, seems a happy chappie, and charms people every time he leaves the house – I couldn’t be prouder of him and the fantastic job my wife’s done while she’s been off work. Sleep is still tricky though – I was really struggling the last couple of weeks before I broke for Xmas. The boy wasn’t sleeping any better or worse, but 9 months of cumulative wakeful nights just caught up with me in a big way. A very lazy break (afternoon naps…) has gone some way to making that better. I also learnt why new parents only ever talk about their children – it’s because there’s no time to think about or do anything else!
2019 is worrying. On a personal level we’re having to work out my wife’s return to work and how that may impact on my own working hours and schedule. More widely, the whole shit show that is Brexit worries me deeply. I still hold out hope that it could be stopped – the logical way out of this mess is a second referendum in which Remain wins, but logic hasn’t had much of a look-in so far and there’s no guarantee it will now. Currently planning on doing a pre-March stock up of non-perishable food etc; really hoping it’s an overreaction and we’ll look back and laugh at it, but it feels crazy that in 2019 this is a plausible reaction to what’s going on.
So broadly good, with potential clouds on the horizon. There’s an hour to New Year, and I’m getting mildly sozzled on the sofa in front of the TV while my family sleeps upstairs, and that feels pretty good to me. Happy New Year all.
That first sentence of your second paragraph is a long one, but an absolute beauty. A joy to read.
Good luck!
Yay – a new mini Afterworder! May he bring you nothing but joy.
Up and down year. Lots of really golden family moments with my two girls now aged 2 and 3 who were joined by a brother in November. Absolute joy to have him safe and healthy and my wife too after gestational diabetes made this pregnancy more of a trial than the others.
A few financial kicks in the bollocks have been the low points including a €53,000 tax bill related to inheriting half of our family home after the death of a relative.
Healthwise, I’ve stacked on a stone since my knee was injured last December in what may prove to have been my footballing finale. I miss it big time having played all my adult life until 52. Golf has gone by the wayside too due to the children. I don’t mind that so much having signed up to the commitment. Basically “me time” is non-existent and I’m tired all the time but minute to minute it’s worth it.
Like everyone else Brexit and Trump continue to make me worry about the greater world outside Ireland. I hope neither are news by this time next year. My passport is more than two years defunct so the greater world won’t be seeing much of me in the immediate future.
Overall, life is good. I’m loving family life. Bamber Jnr is on my lap as I type. I enter 2019 with a happy heart!
Pretty good, thanks. I wrote two plays in 2018, one of which won me a prize and the other a development grant. I’ve always enjoyed writing and over the years this place and its predecessor have helped me develop a style which I’m now exporting. Suddenly I have an agent and a producer with big plans for next year. It’s not going to be a quit-the-day-job thing (I don’t see why my loved ones should suffer for my art) but it’s nice to get a bit of recognition.
Like others here I’m terrified what the next year will hold. We seem to have reached a place where opinions are immobile and debate consists of shouting at the other side rather than listening to them. I see people I want to admire loudly decrying other people’s use of the exact same tactics they use themselves. As usual it will be the poorest and weakest that suffer most. Sorry, that’s a bit bleak, isn’t it?
I think my 10-year association with the Word/Afterword is coming to a natural end. All my life music has made me want to sing, dance, laugh or cry but it’s never made me want to collate, rate and list songs into little boxes. There’s a librarian gene that some men have, as a way of making sense of the world, I guess, but I just don’t have it myself. As filing is the main activity here these days I don’t have much to contribute. I miss the AW-ers who left in 2018, and while, as someone says on the podcast, it’s much nicer now, it’s also deadly dull without the highs and lows and the more, er, volatile contributors. That says more about me that it does about any of you. I’ll never flounce because only wankers do that, but I think I’ll be fading away
Good luck in your writing ventures, chiz.
The blog has always featured list threads. It’s up to all of us to contribute if we want something different.
Like Dai, I have Crohn’s disease and, health-wise, 2018 was probably my best for about 25 years. It’s been 6 or 7 years since I was diagnosed, I’ve been on the right meds for nearly three. My FCP readings 3 years ago were above the 600 measurement limit, my last was 51 (you Muggles would score less than 50) so I’m at least 12 times healthier than I was. There’s not a day goes by when I don’t have to mention it, and I think every time I put something in my mouth. The gravy at the work’s Christmas meal contained powdered onion, and onion is like Kryptonite to me, and I spent two days in bed as a result. So my caution is not an over-reaction.
Played my first football match for 35 years. I’m still crap, but not as unfit as many – not drinking helps me there, I think.
Went to a handful of gigs (as a punter) for the first time in more than 10 years. Spent far too much on music. Started a monthly vinyl club in my local café which is pleasingly popular.
Watched my 15-y-o daughter struggle with mental health and social media, which was/is frightening. She has the ability to get straight ‘A’s in her GCSEs, but is easily derailed, so 2019 is going to be all about keeping her on track.
Lucky enough to be financially solvent and with a wife who is prepared to tolerate my musical excesses (as long as she doesn’t have to actually listen to it). This might be the year to actually get on with soundproofing my garage.
Scared witless by what B****t might bring in 2019.
Good news on the Crohn’s front! Yes. It’s time to soundproof the garage and buy a drum kit.
Drum kit’s already bought and installed in the spare room. I’ve had one lesson so far… The lad got a merit in his grade 4, so I have some catching up to do!
A very ordinary year in many ways.
My son should be off to uni in September so we won’t have him for much longer. My wife will miss her little prince and I’ll miss my gig buddy. I’ve grown to love and admire both children as they’ve matured. Not really a surprise but I found the early years difficult and frustrating. My daughter continues to amaze us with her art, not just parental pride (we would say that I suppose), but dedication and talent that is bringing out a style of her own.
Work is much the same, long may it continue as we need to make up for not making adequate pension provision earlier in life. Who knows what Brexit will bring, especially as one of our main clients is owned by a Spanish company but the world will continue to turn and over the years, I’ve found that something always turns up. I’m hoping to slow down when I get to 60, in 6 years, but I’ll still need to do something although I’m not sure I’ll be physically up to pushing flight cases and loading trucks for the last few years.
Mother in law has now been taken completely by dementia and after a fall which broke a hip, is now bed bound. She’ll be 95 in January, probably her last birthday. My dad will be 90 around the same time, mentally ok but quite frail. Who’d have thought their generation would be so long lived?
I don’t really make resolutions but I’ve decided I really must read more. I miss it and it only takes a little effort to become absorbed. I’ve also rediscovered the joy of small gigs rather than enormodomes so I’ll be trying to get out more.
Pretty much all good then, apart from the little day to day dramas that make up family life. Wishing all of you here a happy new year.
PS: I was of course sorry to read of Nigel and Carolina’s illnesses above. Hoping for as positive outcomes as possible for you both. My wife persuaded me to have a blood test which screens for prostate cancer organised by the local Lions Club. It’s free (donations welcome of course) and provided by PCaSO (Prostate Cancer Support Organisation) http://pcasoprostatecancersouth.org/psa-testing/
As many of us here are men over 45, it is worth considering if there is a similar service in your area.
The prostrate thing can be a bit of a judgement call of course. I’m 51 but holding off as there is no family history and I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night to pee. I was talking to my brother in law the day after Boxing Day. He’s a GP and had been asked by a family member for advice after a test showed elevated PSA. His advice was to leave alone, but see a specialist if concerned. The specialist recommended treatment, and who’s to say which medic was correct? Both were cautious in their own way.
We also discussed our parents as me, my sister, my other half and my brother in law are all having difficulties. My girlfriend has been driven to the edge of total collapse trying to look after her father’s needs and has finally decided that if he wants to do himself harm through self neglect so be it, she isn’t going to dash herself against the rocks of his indifference in a futile attempt to win love and approval any more.
My parents are both failing. My mother had heart failure earlier this year and my father is in care with Alzheimer’s. My sister did the heavy lifting arranging care, for which she earns my gratitude as our mother is adamaged and damaging presence to all around her and both children have been estranged from both parents for decades.
My brother in law’s father, a retired GP himself, is flirting around the edges of dementia but has refused to arrange power of attorney. Both he and my girlfriend have a brother who makes disastrous, self-serving attempts to intervene as well.
Being middle aged and handling all this stuff can really suck sometimes.
It does. We went through a similar situation to your girlfriend with my wife’s father. Spoke to the GP and the police as he had been causing trouble with the neighbours. He wasn’t bad/mad enough for them to intervene so it went on until even my sister in law, who has the patience of a saint, had enough. It ended badly after a few years, him dying alone and in squalor. He pushed everyone away, seemingly taking pleasure in doing so, unwilling or unable to ask for help. I suppose he got what he wanted, just be careful what you wish for.
My dad’s another story. Unwilling or unable to own up to past mistakes, just vaguely saying he wasn’t a good husband or father. I’d have more respect for him if he’d own up to what I suspect he did. As it is, given the choice between tolerating him and causing trouble, I tolerate.
I’m pretty sure our children won’t have such a poor view of us. Who knows?
Absolute highpoint of the year – well, apart from the Phish 13 gigs “Bakers Dozen” mega box set – surely was when our kid recently announced (in a video! …on bloody Facebook!!) she’d be a mum next spring. I’m still trying to get used to the thought.
Congratulations!
Seconded!!
2018 has been a year of highs and lows. My career hasn’t quite gone the way I’d want it to, and I feel as though I’m in danger of declining f I stay where I am. I applied for around ten different jobs last year and didn’t even get as far as an interview, which isn’t encouraging and has knocked my confidence a fair bit.
However, the past twelve months have generally been wonderful outside of work. My wife and married on the first weekend of May in glorious sunshine, and in November we moved into our first home together.
Congratulations to you and Mrs Japanese too!
Seconded!!
Its been a while since I visited, but its the New Year, and I thought I would take a look.
This year has had its ups and downs. I got a promotion at work in May, which I had been working very long hours to get. Unfortunately, that built my stress to unmanageable levels. I started talking to a professional about it, which helped enormously and has me back on track, but also given me tips to manage it going forward.
My family are wonderful, a very patient and loving wife who gets me. My kids bring me joy and some annoyance. Dealing with my son’s ADHD has been a challenge, but we are getting there. My daughter is growing into a funny and very talented 7 year old. Both are fantastic.
Managed to read more books in 2018, tried to put my phone away when I can, and started playing five a side football again.
So, all in all, a pretty good year.
Thanks each and everyone for posting – as ever on this thread, all human life is here, and it’s moving, upsetting, humbling, inspiring, funny and joyous to read. Keep ‘em coming.
And, in all seriousness, very best wishes for 2019 to everyone on the Afterword and all your loved ones.
Thanks for putting up the post and a return of the compliment to all here, workers, irkers and lurkers alike!
Two operations this year.
My dear lady had her second hip op in February.
I had a redo of my back op three years ago.
The tablets I take for my ongoing condition could be a problem to get after B****t as they have to be refrigerated, they slow the deterioration of my condition, superficial siderosis.
With that in mind I took a two week holiday in India while my mobility is still here. Toured the golden triangle unfortunately unable to visit the town where my father was born, as it wasn’t on the itinerary. Maybe another time I hope.
Family members health deteriorates.