Over the course of 24 hours all these emails landed in my Junk email. It sounds like a saucy computer programme randomly raided a Shakespearean dictionary. The resultant twaddle made me laugh considerably so I hope you will find the same.
They all consisted of Subject line – then the first line was subject line repeated, next a no-doubt dodgy Viagara link and lastly the sign off signature from a supposed medic, almost as funny as subject line. My favourite was the one about foul play – “Is this a dagger I see before me?”- though the “append lozenge” one was good as well.
Highly heartily thine, Carolina (not medically qualified apart from reading a lot on Dr Google and a Biology O level)
Does you bliss yours sweeting in pallet?
I wish you a pleasing lustiness
Dr Bob Ewers
Is ye arouse your spouse in a couch?
I wish for you a durable euphoria
Dr Ronald Cornick (Durable Euphoria – TFML)
Did ye sway your companion on pallet?
Have a keen energy!
Dr Ralph Meinzer
Does ye bewitch yours dear heart on bed???
I wish you a nice energy
Dr Leah Chevalette
If yours sweet indicate how she sensate appropriate, this is not a truth;
So honestly, Cecilia Rottinghaus (can this be a name anyone would choose?)
Your excellent sweetheart is fortunate? Maybe she is lie to you?!
I desire for you a nice hardiness
Your glorious sweetie is vivacious??? Mayhap she is mendacity???
I desire you a fine form
Med adviser Kandyce Metzel
Your companion is lucky?! Feasibly she is lying???
Have a keen shape
Dr Chaunceler Baher
Being that ye do no lack to head deception, append lozenge!
So genuinely Skyler Ladson
Because ye do no lack to go on titubation, inclose via!
Physician Branden Barco
Once thou do not need to admit foul play, apply healing;
True sincerely your
Medico Juanita Zito
Since u don’t require to head recreancy, use inoculation;
Highly truly thy! Therapeutic Ingrid Bussard
If only ye do not want to cling deception, sample assistance;
Very genuinely thine, Physician Willie Barnas