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Rules of Thumb

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Let’s make a cut out and keep guide containing rules of thumb of how to enjoy our favourite artists.

My first one in the comments.

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Comments

      • Let’s face it, when it comes to white Americans attempting to play reggae, one probably doesn’t need all the fingers of a single hand to count the ones doing it right.

        Surprising, since the ska, rock steady and reggae rhythms were all derived from New Orleans R&B originally.

        • Wasn’t reggae primarily derived from the Jamaican mento, a rhythm brought over from West Africa? That’s what I’ve always believed. Maybe I’m wrong, I don’t know.

        • From the estimable History of Rock Music in 500 songs – transcript for Episode 114: “My Boy Lollipop” by Millie:

          “The music that the first sound systems played would include some mento records, and they would also play a fair number of latin-flavoured records. But the bulk of what they played was music for dancing, imported from America, made by Black American musicians, many of them the same musicians we looked at in the early months of this podcast. Louis Jordan was a big favourite, as was Wynonie Harris — the biggest hit in the early years of the sound systems was Harris’ “Bloodshot Eyes”. ..
          The other artists who get repeatedly named in the histories of the early sound systems along with Jordan and Harris are Fats Domino, Lloyd Price, Professor Longhair — a musician we’ve not talked about in the podcast, but who made New Orleans R&B music in the same style as Domino and Price, and for slow-dancing the Moonglows and Jesse Belvin. They would also play jazz — Dizzy Gillespie, Duke Ellington, and Sarah Vaughan were particular favourites.”

  6. A Mercury music prize winner is generally listened to twice.

    Never trust an album review suggesting a heritage act shows a “return to form”.

    Likewise show great suspicion to albums of cover versions, duets, or orchestral versions of earlier recordings by them.

    You don’t want that “Christmas-themed” album.

    Charity shop CDs indicate those artists losing favour. Despite hard work, Robbie Williams is in a steady decline.

  7. I have just spent time with an old friend in Florida. Ordinarily his musical taste is in sync with mine.
    However he has a whole collection of Christmas albums by his favourite artists.
    There isn’t a good one.

    For me my rule of thumb is that anything with a linn drum or a slap bass is a pile of shit.

    • I’m going to add the Smith & Burrows Funny Looking Angels to that list of great albums that are christmas themed.

      Whilst there are clearly quite a few exceptions, I do agree with you general premise.

        • Impeccable. Took the family to a screening of the Snowman & The Snowdog at the Union Chapel with an orchestra a fair few Christmases ago and the second half of the show was basically Smith & Burrows playing the most christmassy cuts from the album. With added Tim Wheeler at some points as well. Simply the best Christmas thing I have ever done.

          • Bloody hell, that sounds like one of the greatest gigs ever staged.

            The Snowman & Snowdog soundtrack is legitimately one of the best records of the last decade, and When The Thames Froze is among the most evocative Christmas songs ever written.

    • IMO you’re all missing the point – the only good Christmas music is the cheesy, bad kind of Christmas music! Don’t play “good” or “tasteful” Christmas music in my presence, please.
      I love the novelty hits and the unlikely cover versions; that’s the true Christmas spirit to me!

      I try a new Christmas album every year, and I choose them from two categories: either original songs by a band/artist in a genre that isn’t known for its Christmas songs, or well-known chestnuts sung by an artist that is an unlikely candidate for singing these.
      The ones I end up disliking are the dull and too tasteful ones, the ones I play again next year are the wonderfully “bad” ones. But that’s just me, I guess!

    • The only Christmas albums worth anyone’s time are

      1. The record of carols sung by the Kings College choir which my parents used to play when I was a kid and has long since been lost. Yes there are a million newer ones but they’re not the same.
      2. The Phil Spector Christmas album.

  8. Avoid any album where, when promoting it, the band say they made it for themselves first and foremost and if anyone else likes it then it’s a bonus.

    • Applaud and enjoy any album where, when promoting it, the band say they made it for themselves first and foremost and if anyone else doesn’t like it then they can fuck right off.

  10. Digression, I confess, but here is a useful rule of thumb while holidaying in Scotland.
    Never go to hostelry with a big red T outside. They are invariably the roughest joint in town.

  12. The much hoped for reunion of a once massive band finally takes place, after years of bitter wrangling between the warring members……..
    It’ll be disappointing shite that you’ll instantly regret having to sell your home to, if you can, get tickets for. But you’ll still pretend it was great to those chums who couldn’t and didn’t. And they won’t believe you either…..

  13. Any new album by Echo And The Bunnymen will always be a 5/10 at best, with songs you will probably only play a couple of times, especially when you realise that Mac and Will (the only two original members) have no communication or relationship whatsover and that Mac (who still thinks he’s a star of Bowie type proportion) won’t let his old colleague (the absolute king of innovative post punk guitar) contribute anything to the writing of said new album.

    • Does that mean Crowded House are in this category then? I know the band always had a somewhat “floating” line up over the years and were a kind of core of Finn/Seymour/Hester but I did think it was a bit mean not to include Matt Sherrod, and especially Mark Hart in the latest line up at the expense of the Finn offspring.

      • Agreed, I think Mark Hart was dismissed in a pretty brutal way, given his contributions over the years. The ‘Finn Family’ CH albums are pretty dull and add nothing to their recording history. And then there’s the Glasto appearance when Neil got the grandkids up to to ‘sing’, on more than one song IIRC. Toe-curling.

        • Have to agree on this as well; the two Finn Family albums have all sounded very same-y with just too much double/triple tracked Neil singing and these airy falsetto vocals.

          Christ, lads, listen to Together Alone and realize this is what the punters really love.

    • Jeff Tweedy an exception to this, but his kids are in his other band rather than Wilco (that lineup hasn’t changed in more than 20 years)

    • Hmmm … Tom Waits added his son Casey (on “turntables”) to the band on “Top of the Hill” – the opening track of the “Real Gone” album. It was shite.

  16. Not music related but any golfer who took the LIV golf petro-dollar was an insufferable tool who you would hate to play a round of golf with. I did up a list when the big names started to defect and, with the possible exception of John Rahm, one-by-one they obliged. De Chambeau, D. Johnson, García, Reed, Watson, Mickelson, Hatton. Arguably the PGA tour needs a few golfers you love to hate to add a bit of drama.

  17. When listening to New Order, note the bass player. If it is Peter Hook, it will be wonderful

    And if the bass is not being twanged by Peter Hook it will not be brilliant

  18. I’m very sceptical of the whole “Lone Genius” idea. As evidence. I offer two examples:

    1. Frank Zappa albums with Ian Underwood on them tend to be better than those without.
    2. Prince made better records with the Revolution than without (SOTT was written when they were still a band)

      • There are so many iterations of the NPG that it’s difficult to ascribe a collective identity to them as you can for The Revolution. They are all undoubtedly great musicians in their own right, probably more so than the former band, but The Revolution were drilled so ruthlessly and incessantly that they became a machine with one singular drive and focus, if that makes sense. The NPGs always came across as a looser, more flexible affair, but The Revolution were On A Mission.

      • Maybe a better band, and I like all the NPG albums, but they rarely hit the heights of the Revolution albums. I like Prince in the 90s, I think that even as he was committing career suicide, the albums were still pretty good. I think the first one that really doesn’t deliver is Rave 2 the Joy Fantastic right at the end of the decade. Up until then it’s all good or very good, even underrated records like Come and Chaos and Disorder. But it’s rarely great.

        I also think that the CD was not a good friend to Prince. 40 minute versions of Diamonds, Gold and Love Symbol would be killer bee (reading Kinky Friedman at the moment). We’d remember them more kindly.

    • Most of SOTT was actually written and performed by Prince solo, but yes, there are a number of the band collaborations around that time which have been collated on the SOTT Superdeluxe.

      • Even the Prince albums that are considered to be Revolution albums, these aren’t always actually including the whole band. Usually the odd member contributing here and there. Also, I don’t agree. Prince made great music, until he didn’t.

      • Let’s not overlook George Duke here.
        I’m not sure about the weight of Ian Underwood’s contribution post-MOI. He’s ALL OVER Hot Rats of course, but every single note he played there was written and arranged by Zappa.
        Once George Duke was in the band, Ian’s undoubted keyboard skills were no longer required, just his wind instrument skills. He didn’t seem especially significant to the ’73 band while he was in it.

    • Arf! British characters in US comedies are worth a thread of their own. We could call it “The British Poochie Thread”. Emily in Friends and Alex’s English boyfriend in Modern Family would be my nominations.

      • Not just comedies, we are watching the Landsmen on Paramount, not really my thing but it does star Billy Bob Thornton who wears a wig these days, which could be another thread.
        Anyway this series has been featuring someone doing what I thought was a bad Australian accent but it turns out he’s meant to be from London. It’s not as bad as Daphne’s brother’s ‘Mancunian’ accent but then nothing compares to that.

  20. With a few honourable exceptions, most bands say all they have to say on their first 2 albums.

    When bands split up, the individual members may go onto successful solo careers, but the missing chemistry means the quality is not as good.

    • I would say the opposite, most acts I love peaked later, between 3rd and 7th album. Springsteen, Dylan, Fabs, Stones, Kinks, Wilco, Who etc etc. There are a few that fit your category.

      • Third Album … well received debut album, critically panned/underperforming second album, third album is “sh*t or bust”:
        The Jam – All Mod Cons
        Iron Maiden – Number Of The Beast
        Blur – Parklife
        Rod Stewart – Every Picture Tells A Story
        Blondie – Parallel Lines
        Metallica – Master Of Puppets
        Queen – Sheer Heart Attack

        But, there are also moments when “Third Album brilliance” fails:
        Oasis – Be Here Now

  21. Basic album – purchase
    Deluxe edition with added outtakes, remixes or live versions – avoid. They’ll never be better than the original tracks and you will only play them once.

  23. Don’t buy special edition box sets with loads of unreleased tracks and demos. If you wouldn’t eat a half cooked chicken, why listen to a half cooked recording.

    • Sophomore albums are always “difficult”, because 1) they are nearly always a bit too soon after the debut in order to cash in, 2) the artists have been toured half to death by their label and management and 3) they are generally comprised of the rejected songs from the debut album sessions and some hastily-cobbled filler.

  26. “Jazz-Folk hybridisation” – neither fish nor fowl, should be hit with a length of 2×4 until it stops.

    As for “Genre-melding” – pass the sick bucket, Mabel…

        • Now you’re just toying with me…

          But seriously folks – I start listening to one of these genre-mangling fusions (usually because it’s a fave rave on this very site and everybody loves it). I get two tunes in and it’s all getting a bit “Mumfords”: I realise I’ve fallen for it again. I like jazz, mind: and I like most folk (hell, I used to play the stuff). But when it’s like nouvelle cuisine and it’s oh so tasteful, I just want to throw it at the wall. I have a recent example – but I’ll keep it to myself (it’s a favourite on here, ending up in this year’s top 100).

          Also: what in the writing or the sound makes anything “post-”? Happy to be educated, but it always sounded like marketing bollocks to me.

  27. Buy things that don’t cost much.

    The latest Mojo has an excellent Small Faces CD with it, to go with the Uncut equivalent in 2025.
    No one will vote for it in next December’s ‘Best of Reissues’ list, it will be better than 95% of stuff on that list… and considerably cheaper.

  28. Rules Of Thumb:
    A Blue Note jazz album recorded between 1956 and 1965 will be worth a listen.
    Any Duke Ellington album will be worth a listen.

    Further Observations:
    When The Who became a rock act rather than a pop act, the writing was on the wall.
    The Beatles were right to break up in 1970. Becoming a rock act rather than a pop act would have destroyed their legacy.
    The Rolling Stones return to their blues roots in ’68 saved them.

  29. As someone who likes to buy albums without listening first, and enjoys taking the occasional chance on an artist I’ve never heard before and don’t know anything about, my rule of thumb in these cases is: You’ll have 100% better luck finding a new artist you’ll end up loving if you buy the album based only on the sleeve art and title/band name, than if you buy it based on an album review in a music magazine.

  30. Anyone playing sitting down in a band who isn’t the drummer is taking themselves too seriously. Possible except for strings players and (maybe) keys players.

    Anyone with a laptop on stage should be pasted with eggs and tomatoes.

    Anyone with an interesting haircut is probably a limited talent. See also: glasses.

  33. ‘We decided to just go into the studio and see what happened’ [We didn’t have any ideas and hadn’t given it any thought until we absolutely had to.]

  35. Tintin
    – don’t bother with anything before Cigars of the Pharoahs.
    – the double stories are the best – (Unicorn, Crystal Balls, Moon), though Tibet is a late peak.
    – the series really kicks off when Haddock and Calculus start appearing as foils.
    – best steer away from Marlinspike to avoid the cringey characters (Jolyon Wagg, Prince Abdullah, Bianca Castafiore).
    – Tintin, Haddock or Snowy seeing stars, getting drunk or experiencing hallucinations or angel/devil shoulder sitters is always a bonus.
    – extra points for the Thom(p)son twins wearing matching outfits, contradicting each other in speech, double bonus for arresting Tintin.

  36. A few logs on the fire as our leaders might say…

    When buying second hand LPs if the record sleeve has a barcode my heart always sinks a bit, (there are exceptions). I’m not one of those ‘best before bores’ it’s just that I prefer vintage stuff when I’m on a hunt. Although, having said that, mid-eighties stuff is becoming vintage, I suppose? but still seems modern to me.

    If a sixties (occasionally early seventies) soundtrack has a track with the word ‘party’ or ‘groovy’ or a reference to drugs/ girls, I’ll buy it on the spot, especially if the sleeve art is done by a Mad magazine cartoonist.

    Any horror film (that isn’t the A Nightmare On Elm Street franchise and even then only a few of those) starring Robert Englund are always cat shit.

    Any horror film starring Vincent Price even if it’s cat shit will always be good fun, if not great.

  37. The more this thread develops, the more nuanced it becomes. It’s safe to say that The Beatles, Stones, Neil Young, Dylan, Van Morrison are safe. Also, you might as well forget about suggesting anything by Depeche Mode, OMD or Numan.

    A stinker by someone you like very much is a necessary part of the process followed to become a fully-rounded genius. This makes the bad song good. Without that atrocity, it’s probable we would not have seen the good bits. Academics call it the Laughing Gnome paradox.

  38. TV commercials – when people are dancing for no reason, it means the agency really couldn’t think of any way to promote the product (cf cars, apps, kitchen appliances, life insurance etc).

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