Multiplying Chills (Brividis Travoltis)
A series of shakes and jerks that can make the sufferer appear to be the subject of electrifying power. Can often cause the sufferer to lose control. Commonly accepted remedies include shaping up and meditation.
Cat Scratch Fever (Itchus Scratchus Felinus Nugentus)
An ailment that is often caught from cats next door, it is generally regarded as nothing dangerous, with no pain, though in severe cases it can make a grown man cry. Common symptoms include the ability to make a pussy purr with a stroke of your hand.
Gonokakakakas (urinas dolorosas zappas)
Ailment which can be contracted from toilet seats. Principal symptoms include painful urination, though some sufferers have reported their genitalia feeling like “a pair of maracas”.
Wooden Heart (cuorus legnus regnus)
An illness common among American G.I.s posted in Germany in the late 1950. Sufferers were said to never be the same afterwards, though some recovered briefly in the late 60s. However, this recovery proved to be short-lived and in the early 70s they felt their temperature rising higher and higher with a burning feeling that led to rapid weight gain.