Certain it’s been done before in one or other incarnation of this site, but here goes again:
Bryan’s Ferries – the luxurious way to cross the Tyne
Vans de Morrison – Citroen, Renault and Peugeot commercial vehicle hire.
Retired rock stars
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Britney’s Pears – purveyors of fine pomaceous fruits
Elton’s Johns – for all your WC requisites.
Bruno’s Mars – a funked up exploration of the Red Planet
George’s Ezra – a fascinating voyage into the mind of the modernist poet. £1.
Bit of a cheat, because it’s a real business, in the Woking area….
Spruce Springclean. The Boss Cleaners.
One in Lostwithiel too!
Billy’s Gibbons – a zoological experience in Texas
Van Dyke Parks – for all your west coast parking garage requirements
Ainsley Harriot’s Retaliation – need an assassin agency? look no further.
Fatboy’s Limbs: prosthetics provided by Johnny Ball’s son in law
Roddy’s Frames: you won’t be oblivious to what’s happening in the distance
Kevin’s Shields: manufacturer of family crests (allow 17 working years for delivery)
Levi’s Tubs: wash away Renee, it’s not the same old soak in our baths – come with four taps!
I thought Roddy’s Frames was a bespoke bicycle builder.
Lux Interiors – We won’t cramp your style…
Brian’s Eno powder – Say goodbye to “warm jets”!
Tony’s Banks – the Bank that likes to say … oh … wrong band
Paddy’s Macaroons – you’ll Swoon over these!
Lloyd’s Coal – no need to start a forest fire.
Prince – an eponymously-named Athena du jour selling reasonably priced art reproduction posters.
Michael’s Type – (I) dictation services or (II) a shop selling individual letters so you can name your house (“o’s as in Mon Repos”).
Up.
Alternatively,
Don’t be heartbroken. For perfect skin, you’ll cause a commotion with Lloyd’s Kohl!
Continuing the REM theme…
Peter’s Bucks – fabled debt reconstruction
Mike’s Mills – flour power
Bill’s Berries – for all your soft fruit needs.
Billy Shears – Gardening Services (with a little help from his friends)
Mick’s Jaeger – ladies’ fashions franchise in Dartford
Rick the Wake Man
Funeral celebrations with a cape, a few tunes and some amusing anecdotes
Bob Dylan – boxes of organic dill and… /fill the rest
Jason’s Donner Van
Morrison’s Vans
Percy’s Sledges
Framlingham-based Ovis aries wool trimmers – Ed’s Shearing.
Rat Scabies – Pest Control
Ken’s Booth: What’s he selling? Everything he owns!
Gregory’s Ice Axe – Stuck in a frozen lake and dreading hypothermia? Don’t worry! This man has no fear of the cold – you might say he’s the cool ruler.
Neneh’s Cherry: national scandal as troubled girl tries to sell her virginity on the Internet.
Ozzy Osbourne: detective agency specialising in finding the mislaid birth certificates of Australian citizens..
Re: Gregory Isaacs stuck in a frozen lake and not fearing the cold.
Well, if he does in fact get a cold, he’s always got the night nurse handy.
Plan Bee: Ben Drew instructs beginners how to establish a successful apiary
Mo’ Bees: Bald vegan advertisement soundtracked teaches the advanced course in apian science.
Sid’s Fishes: remember when you were a kid and your Dad brought a goldfish home and it was dead two days later? He bought it from Sid..
Richard Hauliers
Kate’s Bush – Hipster pop-up store selling singular exclusive work of topiary, closes after one day.
Brian’s Johnsons (inc. Hell’s Bellends).
For all your penis enlargement needs.
Simon Le Bon-Bons – Various sweetmeats distributed by the Brummie hitmaker of yore.
Mark Arm – Mudhoney vocalist’s tattoo parlour.
Ringo’s Tar – Need your driveway patching up? Here’s your man.
Lou’s Reeds – For that acerbic horn sound
John’s Kales. For your avant-garde Welsh greens.
Moe’s Tucker – Producing food, rhythmically.
Sterling Morrison – UK Loan Shark.
Doug Yule – It’s always Xmas at Doug’s!
John Cale – Grower of curly greens.
Tom Petty – Small Loans
Andy Diagram – Trumpet player for James, for your convenient visual representation aids
Peter Hook – Fishing supplies
Thurston Moore – rehydration specialists
Andy’s Partridges – all your game bird requirements.
and his former colleagues:
Colin’s Mouldings – replace those damaged ceiling roses etc.
Barry’s Andrews – get rid of that indigestion!
Terry’s Chambers – for all your overnight ‘can’t be arsed to walk to the bathroom’ relief.
Stevie’s Knickers
Robert’s Implants
Roisin’s Mufflers
Phil’s Collies
Kylie’s Pirogues
Bert’s Jansch’s – No, I don’t know either
Mick’s Fleet Wood – fuel for your wood-burning stove, pronto
Don’s Henley – an eagle-eyed examination of the English social season.
Cat’s Divans
Larry’s Melons
Yusuf’s Iceland
Joy’s Division – Do your kids need additional tuition to get them through their maths exams?
There’s a scaffolding company in Somerset called ‘Tubular Wells’.
Mike’s Old Field. Virgin land available for hire.
Who could ignore this one? Lino Richie?
http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/ba/ea/5f/baea5fac34700db9fda19e546ba63b24.jpg
Jake Burns:
Fireplace & Log supplier
or
partially trained (slightly inept) Chef for hire
Stevie Nicks:
Kleptomaniac for Hire
(c) Nigel Blackwell
Fleetwoods Macs – Market Stall specialising in wet weather clothing
Donald’s Fagin was a triumph, darling!
Brian’s May – a gentle paean to the loveliest month of the year
Roger’s Tailors – gentlemen’s outfitters to the stars
John’s Deacons – for all your ecclesiastical requirements
and you’ll be in your element with Freddie’s Mercury
FKA Twigs retail outlet – branches everywhere.
Neil Dung fertiliser
Ginger Baker – Bread products for miserable gits
Frank’s Zappas – plug in and kill those pesky mozzies!
have told this one before but its still funny.
Emerson Lake. Embalmers