I used to think of myself as a fairly liberal, tolerant individual – then I saw this. Aside from anything else, how “self-sufficient” are you if you ask other people to fund your lifestyle? Hardly Tom and Barbra Good are they?
Release Your Inner Daily Mail
by 64 Comments
It’s a piss-take, surely?
Our 5 year old, Ulysses, can decide when he wants to stop breastfeeding.
*wobbly screen – time shift fast forward – BBC News, July 2050*
Ulysses Allen, 35, self-styled eco-warrior, who worked as an unskilled labourer in a banana plantation in Costa Rica, has lost his claim for unfair dismissal on the grounds of unacceptable behaviour during lunch breaks.
in other news, a 33 year old man (let me repeat that – a 33 year old man) has become the first person in Britain to capture all the Pokemon Go characters. And no, I don’t entirely understand the sentence I have just written – I’m an adult man FFS.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hampshire-36912572
“Mr Clark said he completed the collection of all the 142 characters available in the UK, as well as a Tauros, – exclusive to the US, but which he had succeeded in hatching from an egg.”
I don’t understand anything…….
It’s the funniest thing I’ve read online for ages.
I kind of hope it is real, if only as a confirmation that such chutzpah is genuine.
How fabulous to inhabit a parallel universe to the rest of us!
*speechless*
is it fair to assume that Monica, who donated 50 quid, is someone who knows them and wants to help them piss off of soon as humanly possible?
Monica’s the daughter. She wants them to f*ck off asap so she can get a job pole-dancing.
Pass the sickbag, Alice.
That’s dinner sorted, then.
So long as they STAY THE FUCK AWAY from my Yurt, things won’t get ugly, the people carrier mwah mwah narcissistic Hampstead hammock arsed glamping fuckwits. Hope some cannibal head hunters get ’em.
Peace & Love.
Is it just me, or do they look a bit like brother and sister? Just saying.
Right-on Rob C. For about 35 years I’ve felt that decent hippie values have been misrepresented by wankers like these folk. You do it, and don’t go on about it in the smug, lifestyle supplement way this self-indulgent cnuts do. I blame the demise in use and quality of acid around, which could dissolve their egos and acquire a little humility.
Exactly. Astral High Five Vince.
Also, ff you can go and jump about blowing a whistle with you bottle of Evian, there’s one thing you are NOT doing – tripping the Cosmic Fantastic.
Ff you can go and jump about blowing a whistle with you bottle of Evian, you a better man than I, Gunga Din.
– Kipling (Mr)
Tsk. I think you’ll find that little Ulysses can decide the quality of his own acid for himself.
Hang on, I think we are all missing something fundamental here, easy as it is to get blinded by the blatant bellendery of Matt and Adelle, and that is that http://www.fundmytravel.com appears to be an entire website devoted to helping you persuade other people to pay for your holiday. What marvellous times we live in.
Peyote Playpen. A fine pre-school schooling, for anyone. Set and Setting. Sensible adult guide also tripping nearby to the right sonic vibes. Should be mandatory.
Cannabis Rusks too. None of this gm chemical laced shit.
Those little chocolate Kinder jobs – adapt the chocolate recipe to a suitable dosage for young minds and put little plastic figuriens mystic teachers in them that they can collect into a set eg gurus, occultists, thinkers, counter cultural philosophers etc and they can also send off for a wall chart/poster with essential sayings/quotes behind little windows to read and understand and then they get a badge.
The O.P. seems a good wheeze to make some dosh, £145 pledged for nowt other than a picture of a teat crammed into a boys mouth (which may be more than the Squeeze would be up for)
The responses from our lysergists just makes me think, with affection, rather than mockery:
Me, I’m on hard ale.
Now is worst time to be young, if you exclude generations who fought in wars http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/now-is-worst-time-to-be-young-if-you-exclude-generations-who-fought-in-wars-20160308106938
Saw this on Twitter t’other day. Pure comedy gold. “Off-grid parenting… Leaving a baby to cry is child abuse…stopping breastfeeding should be a mutual decision…”
It’s at times like this when I’m reminded of the wise words of one B. Simpson:
“we need another Vietnam to thin out their ranks a little”
Ok, who donated 100 quid today? It’s the sort of thing my ex would think about.
And my ex neighbour wrote a book about being a child with parents seeking an alternative lifestyle, excpet they went to Wales not Costa Rica :
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/may/10/my-homemade-childhood-wanted-not-to-be-weird
Soon to be a movie or TV series I have heard …
The last “off the Grid” person I heard about was Dave Ball.
The good thing about this joke is that few people will get it, and even if they do – it’s not that funny AND it barely makes sense. It’s what they call in the trade a slam-dunk.
*Raises hand * I got it! I got it!
Bless you BT
It’s crystal clear, isn’t it?
You shouldn’t have done that last paragraph. The joke would be better with a soft sell.
What a beautiful and profound gag.
Straight to comments…
To be honest is all that bollox any different from the Sixties Bollox re as long as we love each other everything is going to be ok bollox and by the way can you send me ten quid bollox??
Chris Morris did this didn’t he? It’s satire isn’t it?
What these believers in “natural healing” forget is that we had it once.
For thousands of years.
Life expectancy was about 40. At a maximum
Load of lazy arse Carldude. Other systems of healing past and present in other cultures have been perfectly efficacious thank you.
You only believe that cods Rob because no-one bothered to record the health-care tips of the 99.999% of the population who died young; it was only the occasional old person (>60 yrs) who merited asking. “The secret of my longevity is adhering to the teachings of Guru Hollandandbarrett, taking a shit in a banana leaf every morning and gargling with sheep’s piss.” got recorded for posterity and we got homeopathy on the NHS as a result.
Hare Echinacea.
Nope. My many Indian friends over the year would disagree, as would some open minded study. I do not and have never decried conventional medicine, it as a marvellous thing, it’s just that other systems do have areas of benefit too. I honestly believe that in the future we will have a more holistic and inclusive approach – the best of all, founded on the bedrock of Western medicine.
Bones from The Enterprise would agree, so Yah Boo Sux Shanti x
It’s alright for him, the lazy cheat has a tricorder. Never used a leech in his life.
Hare NCC-1701.
Ah ! You’re beef is with Western Medieval Quackery ! I get it now. No argument there dude.
Have A Pakora – they’re fresh !
Fun Fact: those metallic conical things Bones used to run up and down people’s bodies to take readings were actually salt and pepper shakers.
He was a seasoned practitioner of medicine though.
He practiced condimentary medicine
It’s not lazy at all. Sickness and disease kept the human population of the planet down for centuries. You may have had healing systems that contributed to a healthier lifestyle but people did not live as long as they do now.
Sepsis was a major contributor to mortality rates until the last century. Some treatments worked to an extent (eg the young Henry V had an arrow head removed from his face because doctors knew that honey had an antiseptic quality) but that was a isolated example.
I was referring to your expectancy age of ’40’. A very large generalisation. Life expectancy was generally lower globally, but was also highly variable according to the particular culture, systems of healing used, taking into account the effects of warfare and the lack of advancements eg penicillin.
I don’t know, 40 seems quite generous if you look at the table here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_expectancy#Variation_over_time
I’m not one for averages, generous or not:
http://www.livescience.com/10569-human-lifespans-constant-2-000-years.html
Clearly we go carry on exchanging testimony from experts and getting nowhere.
We will have to agree to disagree on this.
Fine with me. That’s cool , and basically it doesn’t matter anyway. Just internet spout fluff 🙂
Thanks for posting this, Paul. I suspect Leedsboy is right but it brightened up my day enormously.
I’ve been pondering all afternoon how I could go more Off Grid here on the AW and start a thread powered solely by breast milk.
Talking of milk, I was talking recently to Mrs KFD’s cousin who is a very hard-working eco dairy farmer here on Öland. He was baffled and intrigued when I told him that bloggers and YouTubers could make a quite comfortable living.
I can’t wait to tell him about Payformyholiday.com. Their strapline is “Funding meaningful travel experiences”.
His flabber will be gasted.
Surely a better name for the website is beggingforlazywankers.com?
“I’ve been pondering all afternoon how I could go more Off Grid here on the AW and start a thread powered solely by breast milk.”
Genius.
The barefoot thing was interesting. Going barefoot for children and adults is very common in Australia and not just for soap dodgers like the family in the video. You see it everywhere – in cafés, supermarkets and on the street. But I put that down to a combination of the hot Aussie climate and a general prevailing white trash attitude.
I wince every time I see it and it’s something I’ll never get used to.
Aussies think a bidet is for rinsing your plates when you get back from the shearing.
That reminds me of the Monty Python sketch around the time Britain joined the EU. “You can keep your fastidious continental bidets Mrs Foreigner – Mrs Britain knows how to keep her feet clean”
That Fundmytravel site is a conman’s dream. It made me think of the movie Paper Moon, where the father and daughter travel around with a bible selling scam for some reason. The modern conman doesn’t even need to leave home.
Get a couple of photos of an attractive couple and their charming pooch and then write a sob sorry about how they can’t afford their dream trip to Europe. Find ten more photos and write ten different stories and then watch the money trickle in. If you get a few small gifts a day, you’re laughing.
The recipients have no accountability whatsoever At least if you crowdfund a band, artist or filmmaker, they will hopefully produce something.
I feel like setting up a few sites in the same vein:
Fundmylunch
FundmyCDcollection
Fundmydog
Fundmyunderpants
Fundmytrampoline
*offers sandwich*
Even better, a metascam.
Fundmyfundmy.
“We believe in going so far off grid we can’t even be bothered to set up a scam to bring in some wonga, so we’re offering you the once in a lifetime (ours) opportunity to fund a team who will spend the next several decades constructing elaborate, cutting-edge web-based schemes to keep the cash coming in. You’ll get the satisfaction of knowing that you are personally responsible for establishing the world’s first ever responsibility-free couple, and we’ll get the rest of our lives to enjoy our entitlement, guilt-free in the knowledge that you’re chuffed to have been a pioneer. Win-win!!!!”
I thought it must be some sort of ironic wind-up that they actually state they want people to donate £100,00 for them to “achieve their dream of self-sufficiency”. But then I found this article online in the Sun. It seems the couple have appeared on TV show This Morning and upset viewers when the 1 year old went “off grid” in the studio and appeared to take a leak. The thing I found most irritating in the video was when Adele was talking about not inoculating her children and if she had cancer she would take “the natural way”, as if that was a valid choice.
https://www.thesun.co.uk/tvandshowbiz/1475855/off-grid-parents-whose-child-weed-live-on-this-morning-beg-strangers-for-100k-to-fund-their-hippy-lifestyle/
Reminds me of this excellent autobiographical book (My Life In Orange) about a guy whose parents had even more hippyish ideas about child raising (mind you, the merest sliver of an excuse is that this was in the 1970s):
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Life_in_Orange
Turns out he grew into an adult with anger issues, mainly directed to his mum. He died of a suspected overdose in his mid-30s.
Diddly-iddly
Ah. Tried to post a YouTube link to a Simpson clip of Ned Flanders parents.
It was very funny. You’d have liked it.
I’m fascinated by Carlina’s comment. So, “to go off grid” has a far wider range of meaning. It can also mean to have a pee, preferably in a TV studio.
So we can kiss goodbye to powdering our noses and pointing Percy at the porcelain.
From now on I’m definitely going to “go off grid”. It has a great ring to it.
They have reached £255.
Only another £99,745 to achieve their target.
Clearly we Brits aren’t enamoured of their desire to live “off grid”.